.:: Wanky Friday ::.

Romance/Comedy

xxx

"You did this to me, you told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery!"

"You have a surgery when you get your appendix out, you got a boob job!"

"Yep, sure did!"

"You can't hit me!"

"Well sure I can, unless you got yourself knocked up again. Slut!"

xxx

The New Directions sat in silence, eyes trained on the clock as it ticked away.

"I hate to say it... But I don't think anyone is going to be joining today." Rachel said, running toward where Mr. Schuester was sitting at the piano.

The older man went to argue, backed by Finn but the other students were already headed for the door.

Santana reached for Brittany's hand, walking briskly with the blonde toward the hallway.

Quinn rolled her eyes as she got up from her plastic chair, her arms folded tightly over her chest.

The blonde went straight to her locker to grab her things, she glared occasionally toward where Brittany and Santana were swapping out the books they would need for the next day.

She didn't see Tina approaching until the shorter girl stood right beside her.

"For luck." The girl chirped nervously, handing Quinn a fortune cookie.

The blonde narrowed her eyes at the cookie in her hand before flashing the other girl an incredulous look. She turned abruptly, slamming her locker before stalking away.

Tina frowned and shook her head before turning to approach Brittany and Santana.

Santana narrowed her eyes as the other dark haired girl approached them but Brittany bounced on her feet before offering a friendly 'hello.'

"Hey Brittany!" Tina said before digging around in her messenger bag, she quickly handed Brittany a candy bar making the blonde squeal in excitement.

Tina glanced up to meet Santana's eyes, the other girl was looking at her expectantly. The brunette's harsh expression had relaxed considerably but one brow was still arched drastically above the other.

"H-here." Tina said quickly, shoving the fortune cookie into Santana's outstretched hand.

"What the fuck Girl Chang, you actually carry these around with you?"

Tina moved to flee but Santana caught her by the strap of her bag. "Wait, why does Britt get chocolate?"

"'Cuz I'm a Unicorn, duh!" Brittany mumbled around a mouthful of her candy bar.

Santana frowned, staring longingly at the candy bar before wrinkling her nose at the oddly shaped cookie in her hand.

xxx

Quinn walked into the locker room, her head held high. One brow arched up above the other when she was shoulder checked roughly by Santana.

Brittany frowned as she slowed to a stop beside them, disapproval clouding her features.

"Was it worth it, Quinn?" Santana asked, poking her finger into the blonde's upper chest.

The head Cheerio's jaw flexed but she remained silent as her friend glared up at her.

Santana's face relaxed slightly when it became apparent that Quinn had no intention of responding. "Of course it was. It's not like we were ever friends to begin with." She muttered, turning to grab Brittany to head to their lockers.

"That is a lie and you know it." Quinn spat before she could stop herself.

Santana turned back around to face her, releasing Brittany in the process.

"Oh, really Quinn? Last time I checked... Besties didn't steal each others men. Getting knocked up was Karma, bitch."

"Because you clearly cared about him!" She cried, her eyes moving pointedly toward Brittany.

Santana narrowed her eyes, "Don't you dare bring her into this."

"Guys..." Brittany started, she tried to place a gentle hand on Santana's shoulder but the brunette shrugged it off.

"Go get changed Britt, Stretchmarks 'n me gots some talking to do."

Quinn looked between the two of them, the gentle look that crossed Santana's features when she addressed the other blonde made her jaw clench.

"Now, where were we?" Santana asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she looked back to Quinn.

"Just forget about it, you've got Brittany. Who else could you possibly need?"

Santana watched the taller girl turn and head toward Sue's office, the sharp retort she had been planning dried up in her throat.

She moved toward the door only for it to be slammed shut in her face, Santana shook her head bitterly.

This was who they were. Their friendship had always been built on a shaky foundation. Much like a hastily built house of cards that crumpled at the first sign of any kind of disturbance.

The truth weighed heavy on her chest, a familiar and painful nausea setting in right after it.

Santana pressed her back against the cool surface of the door, allowing her body to slide down it before settling on the floor.

A loud crunch snapped her from her thoughts, she twisted the small gym bag at her side so that it was sitting in her lap.

It took her a moment but she quickly located the fortune cookie from the day before.

She ripped the transparent wrapping with a sigh, plucking the small piece of paper from between the broken pieces of cookie.

Santana popped a piece of the semi-sweet cookie into her mouth, her eyes sweeping over both sides of the strip of paper.

"A journey begins, its prize reflected in another's eyes..." She crinkled her nose but continued quietly, "When what you see is what you lack then selfless love will change you back."

She finished reading the fortune, brows furrowed as she stared at the tiny black letters. Completely unaware that Quinn was doing the same on the other side of the door.

The two gasped in unison when the floor beneath them trembled suddenly, the door rattling in its hinges.

Inside Sue's office Quinn sat wide eyed, her hands flat against the floor as the room shook around her.

When the tremors finally stopped she heard loud footsteps echo down the hall, growing fainter as Santana reached the other Cheerios.

"Did you feel that?" She heard Santana ask over the pounding of her own heart.

"Feel what San?" Came Brittany's confused reply, Quinn shook her head.

'Leave it to Brittany to not notice an earthquake.' She thought, rising from the floor and onto unsteady legs.

xxx

Quinn groaned, her body was warm and heavy with sleep. She tried to shift but found her arms pinned to her body, she squinted. Her confusion deepened when she realized how dark her room was.

She tried to move again, this time her attempt was followed by a muffled groan.

Quinn's eyes widened when she finally realized what was going on. Lean arms were tightly wrapped around her body and when she continued to struggle the body behind her shifted, its owner nuzzling against her neck.

Her body tensed reflexively at the contact, an embarrassing rush of heat flashing through her belly.

"San..." Brittany's voice whined, sending Quinn's mind into a panicked overdrive.

She gently caught the other girl's hand as it teased the hem of her underwear.

"Britt it's Quinn... Let me go Brittany!" She hissed frantically, her face scarlet and pulse pounding in her ears.

Brittany whimpered a little, burying her face further into the pillow beneath Quinn's head.

The shorter girl's squirming stopped abruptly when Brittany's leg wrapped around her own, pinning her more securely to the mattress.

Quinn started to panic more, she grunted and managed to free her upper body from the girl's grip.

She stifled a pained cry as she stumbled free of Brittany's leg and to the floor.

She was up within seconds, her feet leading her straight for the bathroom when she recognized the darker room as Santana's.

Quinn didn't have time to question why she was in the Lopez home.

She closed the door and attempted to catch her breath for a moment before moving to the sink to splash water on her face.

Her eyes widened as they fell on her reflection, her mouth floundered a moment before she let out a loud scream.

Before she could collect her thoughts, Brittany was opening the bathroom door. The blonde's eyes were wide and worried, "San? What's wrong?"

Quinn gulped and tried her best to plaster a reassuring smile on her face. "Nothing B, just a spider."

"Oh." Brittany said, her expression immediately relaxed to one of amusement.

Quinn stiffened slightly when the taller girl moved closer, she pressed a chaste kiss to the brunette's temple before shuffling out of the bathroom.

Once she had finished freshening up, Quinn let Brittany have the bathroom and flopped down on the bed, her fingers twirling a dark lock of hair.

Quinn frowned as she glanced down at her darker, much fuller chest.

Her eyes snapped over suddenly toward Santana's night stand to where the brunette's iPhone was sitting silently.

xxx

Santana groaned, burrowing her face deeper into the pillow as a loud annoying buzz reverberated on the nightstand beside her.

Her hand reached out blindly, fumbling around for a second before finally finding her phone.

Instead of speaking she let out a low grunt as the call connected, "Santana!" A raspy voice hissed, making the girl quirk a brow.

"The fuck?" She mumbled, her eyes snapping open at the sound of her own voice on the line.

"It's Quinn." The voice continued, her eyes narrowed as she pulled the phone away from her ear. She squinted as she read the caller's name, 'Satan.'

"Really Q? Is this how you choose to invade my dreams? I always thought you'd make a more spicy cameo appearance..." She snarked, falling back into the pillow with a huff.

"Can you be serious?!" Her own voice screamed in her ear, she frowned into the pillow. Pulling the phone away from her ear again, ignoring the fact that the voice on the line was still yelling.

She lifted her head when she heard the voice calm slightly, her name was being urgently repeated. Santana's brows furrowed when she finally took a look at her surroundings.

Her nose crinkled, realizing she was in fact in Quinn Fabray's too bright, purple painted bedroom. Her hand lifted up a strand of straight blonde hair, her brows furrowed together more firmly as she flexed her pale hand.

"What the fuck is going on?" She asked finally, a relieved sigh reached her ear.

"I don't know... Where are you?"

"Your bedroom, princess. Where the hell are you?"

Quinn chewed on her lip a moment, her eyes moving toward the bathroom door. By the sounds of it, Brittany was in the shower. "In yours. What is going on with you and Brittany?" She asked, ignoring the fact that this was something they had never in the past talked about. It wasn't necessary to, she knew that they had a physical relationship but she hadn't been certain how physical or how frequent. And she didn't care to bother herself with the details, until now that is.

Santana remained silent a moment and she was partially grateful. It was beyond bizarre hearing her own voice coming back at her over the line.

"What did she do?" The other girl asked finally, her voice unusually quiet.

Quinn tried to ignore the heat that burned at her cheeks at the memory, "N-nothing... I just wasn't really expecting to wake up to someone beside me." She lied, running an unsteady hand through her now dark hair.

She guessed Santana knew it was a lie but again was grateful when the other girl decided not to push it. "Quinn, what do we do?"

"I don't know. Are your parents home? You can't stay there... My father will know something is up." She said, trying to keep her own fear from creeping into her voice.

"Mine will be gone for the weekend... We can stay there until we figure this out."

Quinn nodded, thinking for a moment before responding. "You're going to have to ask daddy if that's okay... And he won't let you leave until after breakfast. Say it's for school, or Cheerios. Nothing about Glee club or anything."

"As if I would bring up Glee club, I'm not that dense, Fabray. And daddy? Do I really have to call him that?" Santana asked, not bothering to try and hide the loathing from her voice.

Quinn fought down the nervous nausea bubbling up her throat, "Yes, you do. If he thinks something is up he will not let you leave." She said seriously, "Just say the bare minimum of what you need to... Nothing else, okay?"

Santana huffed out a sigh, "Fine. Where is your shit so I can pack a bag?"

xxx

Santana frowned, smoothing down the front of her simple yellow sundress as she made her way down the steps. She had Quinn's purple floral backpack tight to her back, her WMHS duffel bag hanging at her side and her words ready for Russell Fabray.

The man merely had to continue to exist to grate on her nerves, having to face him and act like his faithful daughter was a daunting task to say the least.

"Good morning, Quinnie." Russell said over his news paper, Judy bobbed her head in greeting and brought over a plate for Santana.

"Morning daddy." Santana mumbled out softly, Russell's brows lifted but he remained silent.

Santana picked at her food, cringing inwardly as she bit into a slice of bacon. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Quinn?"

"I have a project I need to work on this weekend, Brittany, Santana and I were going to work on them together..."

"You know I don't like that girl, Quinnie." Judy bobbed her head in agreement.

"What?"

"That Mexican, she's a bad influence on you."

Santana set her jaw but said nothing in response, "If it is for a project, I suppose it is all right. Will you be home for church?"

"I don't think so. There's quite a bit to do, daddy."

Russell nodded, taking another sip of his drink. "Okay dear, just make sure you get your work done. And don't forget to pray."

xxx

"Hey Quinn!" Brittany chirped, sitting up on the bed.

Santana frowned slightly as she put her bags down but it was gone by the time she looked back toward the other blonde. "Hey."

"I wish I could stay... I didn't realize you were coming over! We could have totally had an Unholy Trinity reunion!"

Quinn laughed, mimicking the smile Santana reserved for Brittany. "Totally. Where do you have to go again?"

The other girl chewed on the inside of her cheek, "Mom's taking us to visit her sister, we'll be gone the whole weekend..." She mumbled, her eyes losing a bit of their shine. "I'll miss you." She whimpered, cuddling closer to the brunette's body.

Quinn stiffened at the contact, her eyes moving to meet Santana's. It was bizarre staring at herself, she had almost forgotten about Brittany until the other girl planted a wet kiss to her cheek.

Santana's teeth worried her lip, a twinge of jealousy tugging at her stomach.

Santana watched as Quinn shrunk away from Brittany's touch, her eyes flicking over to meet the blonde's again in a desperate plea for help.

"When do you have to leave Britt?"

The other girl looked up before detaching herself from Quinn reluctantly, "Soon... Mom said I had an hour."

"Oh..." Santana said with a frown, said that she had missed spending time with her before she had to leave. Brittany rose and made her way quickly over to the shorter blonde.

She squeezed Santana tightly, "I think I broke 'Tana... She's been acting silly all morning, keep an eye on her after I leave?" She whispered worriedly against the other girl's ear.

Santana shivered at the contact and nodded dumbly, squeezing her back.

"I will." She said, meeting Quinn's eyes over Brittany's shoulder.

xxx

About an hour after Santana arrived Mrs. Pierce had come to pick up Brittany, leaving Quinn and Santana alone together.

They were quiet at first, unsure of what to say.

Santana spoke up first, "Your father is more of a nightmare than I remembered."

She watched with mild amusement as fear crept across her own features as Quinn began to inwardly panic.

"What did he do?" She asked in the smallest voice Santana had ever heard come from her own lips.

"He told me how bad of an influence I am on you." Quinn blanched, her mouth floundering for a moment.

"H-he what?"

"Chill, Quinn. It's okay, I'm used to it." She grinned cheekily as she flopped down on the bed beside the shorter girl. "Besides... I am a pretty bad influence." She breathed against the brunette's ear.

Quinn shivered, her eyes wide as Santana pulled back with a playful smirk. It was strange seeing the trademark look on her own pale features.

"You know... I gotta say, Q... You've got quite the body, even after pushing that lizard baby out of your vagina."

Quinn gave her a scandalized look as her hands moved slowly down her torso, "What are you doing?!"

"Just enjoyin' what I gots while I gots it, Q..." She said with a smirk. "I doubt you pay this fine body any attention."

"Stop it, Santana!" The brunette hissed, her hands reaching for the taller girl's as they moved lower.

Santana chuckled when Quinn tried to wrestle her hands away from her body. The sound dried up in her throat when an overwhelming flustered feeling entered her chest. She gave a small gasp, cheeks flushing when Quinn finally had a tight grip on both of her wrists.

"What the hell?" The blonde mumbled, tugging out of Quinn's grip.

The brunette narrowed her eyes, "What?"

"N-nothing..." She muttered, averting her eyes when her heart rate picked up even more.

Quinn sat back, sniffing indignantly. "Well, you need to get your act together before Monday or everyone is going to think we're insane."

"You, everyone will think you're insane. If you keep scowling like that, no one will look twice."

Quinn rolled her eyes, "I'd appreciate it if I could have my image intact with my body when I get it back."

Santana frowned, dropping her eyes to her lap. "Do you... Do you think we'll ever get them back?" She asked seriously, her voice small.

Quinn chewed on her lip, "I don't know."

"How does this even happen?"

Quinn remained silent, unsure of what Santana wanted to hear.

"Did anything out of the ordinary happen last night?"

Santana flushed slightly, her eyes moving toward the wrinkled sheets behind her. "No... Not that I can think of."

Quinn flushed, her eyes going wide as she remembered how she had been woken up.

"Girl Chang gave me a fortune cookie, that was weird but that was on Thursday." Santana mumbled in an attempt to change the subject.

Quinn's eyes went comically wide before she jumped to her feet and began to pace back and forth angrily. "I'm going to kill her!"

"Huh?"

"She gave me a fortune cookie too! 'For luck' my ass." She growled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So wait... She gave us both fortune cookies on Thursday... Why would it happen now?" She asked, Quinn shook her head.

"I didn't read the fortune until Friday, in the locker room right before that earthquake."

"You felt that too?" Santana asked, jumping to her feet.

Quinn nodded, "Yeah."

"Thank God! No one else did, they thought I was crazy."

Quinn shook her head, "You are crazy, don't get me wrong. But that earthquake did happen."

Santana rolled her eyes, "So... What do we do?"

"For now, we practice being each other... Then we get the truth out of Tina on Monday."

xxx

Quinn narrowed her eyes, watching with slight amusement as Santana shoved more popcorn into her mouth.

"What?" The blonde managed to ask around a mouthful, Quinn wrinkled her nose.

"Just... Not used to the image of myself shoveling food into my mouth." She dead panned, a dark brow arched.

Santana stopped chewing and glared at the brunette before swallowing what was in her mouth. "Could have fooled me... You've got the mouth for it, Fabray."

Quinn gaped at her, and Santana's grin widened as she continued. "Tell me Q, how many Chubby bunny showdowns have you won?"

The blonde squeaked in surprise when Quinn suddenly sent a pillow flying her way.

"Shut up, Santana!"

"Make me." The taller girl taunted, putting the popcorn bowl on the floor.

Santana chuckled, dodging the next pillow the brunette threw her way. "Careful Fabgay, those pillows get any closer and they might try and recruit you for the softball team!"

She watched gleefully as the other girl's neck and cheeks flushed, getting a reaction she knew well from the normally cool, calm and collected 'ice queen.'

"Shut up!" Quinn repeated, flogging the giggling girl with the pillow in her hands.

"Wait..." Quinn managed out between deep, panting breaths. "I see what you're doing."

Santana pushed herself up off of the mattress and onto her forearms. "What am I doing?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"I am not coming back to a body covered in bruises." The brunette muttered, crossing her arms over her full chest.

"...It's a pillow, Q." Santana said in an exasperated tone.

Quinn stared at her a moment before a lopsided smirk tugged at her full lips. Before she could move out of the way, Santana found herself getting struck with a direct blow to the cheek.

"You bitch! That's not fair!" She cried, lunging toward the shorter girl.

She decided to use her knowledge of her own body to her advantage, her fingers moving quickly at the girl's sides.

"N-no! Santana, s-stop it!" Quinn managed around her uncontrollable laughter.

"No way! I never get to tickle you. Got to take my chance while I gots it, Q."

The tickle attack lasted for several minutes before Santana decided the brunette had had enough. Her hands stilled at the shorter girl's aching sides as the tremors wracking Quinn's frame slowly subsided.

Santana watched with amusement as familiar eyes finally cracked open between gasps. It was odd, looking at herself but still seeing someone else in her features and mannerisms.

"Y-you're evil." Quinn muttered, trying to will her breathing back to normal.

Santana remained still and silent, merely staring at the other girl. She blinked suddenly when an odd fluttering sensation filled her abdomen.

The feeling took her by surprise, it was typically reserved only for Brittany.

She pulled away quickly, as if she had been burned.

"Santana?" Quinn asked, pushing her way up onto her forearms like the other girl had done earlier.

After a moment the blonde flashed her a serious look, "You better not have pissed on my bed."

xxx

Quinn buried her head deeper into her pillow when Santana stirred next to her.

The blonde moved again and Quinn huffed angrily into the soft fabric beneath her chin. "Will you lay still?" She grumbled in annoyance.

"Can't. Your body is wide awake..." Santana mumbled, clearly frustrated by the habit of her foreign skin.

"Try laying on your side." Quinn whispered softly, the blonde was silent for a moment before doing as the other girl had instructed.

Santana remained silent but her heart rate spiked when a warm arm wrapped around her waist.

She breathed in deeply, trying to calm herself and figure out why she was responding to Quinn's touch this way.

As her body relaxed and became heavy with sleep, a thought crossed her mind that would haunt her in the morning. Was it her responding to Quinn's touch or was it Quinn's body responding to her touch?