A/N Yeah yeah I know Richtofen and Samantha switch bodies bla bla I didn't feel like paying 15 for moon so sue me for not being 100% cannon.

Bring Me 117

After a pointless sequence of weird things including hacking random panels, a spastic ball and a strange as all hell color game, Richtofen threw a gerch devise at the floor and a rumbling sensation could be felt all across the moon base.

"What the hell is going on?"

"The missiles… the missiles." Richtofen said to himself.

"What missiles?" Tank asked.

"Something is wrong!" Richtofen screamed.

"Yeah it's you."

"Fuck off you American imbecile! Vhat's wrong is the silo doors von't open!"

The entire moon base began to shake violently and a bright light shown all about them.

"So that's what Hiroshima looked like." Takeo said.

"Richtofen you sonofa-"

Dempsey did not get a chance to finish his remark before the expanding wave of destruction hit him and his teammates.

Dempsey opened his eyes. Through his space suit's visor he saw nothing, there was only blackness. He switched on his helmet's flood lights and saw his surroundings at last. Empty gray steel room with banks of what he figured were control terminals. Then he saw three other space siut's... his teammates.

"Guys… hey, are any of you awake? Or alive for that matter?"

"Ug…" a voice slured. "I must have had too much vodka."

"For you Nikolai, I don't think that's possible." Takeo responded.

"Well whatever happened I feel like utter shit." Nikolai said.

"That's probably the side effects of time space travel it only effects Russians."

"Say another thing about Russia, and my size 13 is going where the sun doesn't shine, Richtofen."

"Speaking of sun I don't see it, where are we?" Dempsy asked nobody in particular.

The other three activated their floodlights giving more light to the unknown room. For the most part it was empty. Every surface was metal with geometric patterns on the ceiling, pillar braces and such.

"I just noticed something I feel completely weightless."

"I don't think we're on the moon anymore."

"Really, I didn't know zat." Richtofen deadpanned.

Nicolai took off his helmet. To Richtofen's disappointment his eyeballs didn't get sucked out by absolute vacuum rather his face remained undamaged.

"Well wherever we are its pressurized." Takeo said as he observed the many closed doors.

"Aww…" Said Richtofen. "I wanted to see his intestines get sucked out his mouth."

"I don't see any zombies." Tank said

"Not yet." Takeo said.

"Good, that means I can finally have drink." Nicolai said as he reached for a clear glass bottle which he kept in his satchel.

He raised the bottle to his waiting lips. Something odd happened. He knew the taste of vodka should have met his tongue but he tasted nothing. He looked at the bottle and saw that it was empty.

"No… this cannot be…No vodka… when did I run out of vodka? How long have I been out and not known it?"

Nicolai was simply devastated he lowered his head.

"Nikolai."

"WHAT?"

"You lookin for this?" Tank had in his hand a clear bottle, Nicolai's vodka.

"MINE!" Nikolai leapt up and snatched the bottle and took a long drink. Yep this stuff was his vodka. "Ah Dempsey, you do that again and I'll fucking kill you."

"Speaking of getting killed why aren't we dead?" Dempsey said. Last time I checked Jugger-nog didn't work against nuclear blasts."

"What actually happened back there anyway?" Takeo asked.

"Oh nothing I tried to blow up ze world and gain control of the zombies." Richtofen said.

"You tried what?!" Tank shouted.

"Why are you so upset? I was only going to stab you three in the back and become a god."

His three teammates looked at him.

"Oh, I said that out loud didn't I?"

"That would be most dishonorable." Takeo said. "But somehow it's something I would expect you to do."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Richtofen said.

"Okay who votes we kill Richtofen?" Tank said raising his hand.

Nither Takeo or Nikolai voted yes.

"Come on guys."

"I don't believe in democracy." Nikolai said taking another drink and looking around the barren compartment."

"And it's not like what he was planning actually transpired." Takeo stated.

"It's true, something happened. We didn't do the sequence right that's why the silo doors wouldn't open nor did I swap souls with Samantha."

"Maybe she was expecting you to do such a thing." Takeo though aloud.

"Regardless I'm still here." Richtofen stated.

"And I'm still pissed off." Tank said. "Here I was thinking we were on a mission to save the world."

"And there you go thinking." Richtofen jeered.

The two drifted closer. Takeo could notice tank slowly reaching for the bowie knife strapped on his back while Richtofen tried to reach for his m1911 inconspicuously.

Takeo got between them before anything could happen. "Before we kill each other perhaps we could find a way to get home we're still stuck somewhere out in space." He said.

"Well maybe we should get on with exploring our surroundings. Maybe we left them all behind." Dempsey said.

"Don't say zat Dempsey." Corrected Richtofen

"Why not?"

"Because Murphy will make sure that zombies show up."

"You mean the author?" Nicolai slurred drunkenly."

"SILENCE!" Richtofen screamed.

Nicolai finished drinking and put his helmet back on. They selected a door and the moment it opened they felt the force of vacuum rushing outwards.

"Well that room's definitely not pressurized anymore." Tank said.

Once they were outside they noticed the beautiful sight interstellar space around them. Every star around almost gave off enough combined light to act as a very dim sun or at least a bright moon.

"Wow…" Takeo said.

"We definitely aren't on the moon anymore." Dempsey observed.

"As if there was ever any doubt." Richtofen replied.

Tank continued to look onward their helmet lights couldn't illuminate much beyond a few yards but he could see the darkened figure of the largest spaceship he had ever seen. It looked like it had been torn in half.

They continued to space walk. Beyond the door they passed though was another side of the ship and they made their way towards it.

Once inside it looked much like the last part they had been in. Save for all the blood stained walls and bodies.

"Looks like they all had fun, too bad I wasn't there to help." Richtofen said in his signature mix of evil and joy.

"I found you." A voice they all knew well said.

"Damnit Dempsey now look what you did." Nikolai said.

"Now that I found you I'm going to kill you. Arise dead…"

All the bodies around them oddly enough did nothing.

"HA!" Richtofen said triumphant. "Your powers have no effect Sammy it looks like you can't kill us HAHAHAH."

The voice paused for a moment as if thinking.

"…Wait… I see. Yes, yes okay all done."

They watched as a small puke green popcorn bug looking thing with two small arms appeared from nowhere and absorbed itself into one of the bodies.

The body began moving then it grew chitnous plating and tentacles on its head and arms. Then the whole thing bloated up and exploded and five more of the little bug things appeared and infected more bodies. Some of them remained in their combat state and attempted to slash out at the four.

Tank reacted with a quick draw of his bowie knife and he plunged it deep into the re animated corpse monster thing.

The sharpened steel blade impacted in where the neck met the shoulders of the zombie but it slapped him with its whip like tentacles.

"Owch that hurt, you little retard DIE." Tank stabbed the thing again and again until it fell over.

What is this round 30? Four hits from the bowie knife?" Tank asked.

By now the epidemic of these new types of zombies had spread throughout the room. The four noticed not all of them were human, some were strange alligator looking aliens and big ape/rhino half-breeds.

Tank watched as the monster he had just stabbed got back up.

"It's shtill ALIIIVE!" Richtofen screamed Pulling his colt and firing but it did little than draw the attention of the other reanimated corpses.

"You know, I think now might be a good time to make a tactical exit." Takeo said.

"Well I never expected Takeo to suggest retreating. Him and all his honor." Nikolai said.

"If we had any effective weapons I wouldn't be suggesting anything other than fighting."

"Ya know what I agree for once." Tank said.

The four sprinted as fast as they could in zero gravity back out of the room and out into space.

"Okay, new plan." Tank said

"Do we have access to any superior weaponry?" Takeo asked.

"Well we all have our m1911's which stop being effective after round three. Dempsey somehow has a bowie knife but it doesn't seem to be too effective."

"I have a Katana." Takeo said as he pulled the reyskin handle from a curved wooden scabbard revealing a sword that could be effectively used with one hand.

"And I have empty bottle." Nikolai said. "We're fucked aren't we?"

"Did anyone see any wall weapons?" Tank asked.

"No." The other three said.

"Yeah we're fucked alright."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Richtofen said. Pulling out a large case and a small cooler. "After being fed up with losing our perks and weapons every time we teleport to different locations I started making something that we could carry items in through teleporters. So I present to you, our salvation."

He opened the case which contained a Spectre, a CZ75, a Python and an HS 10 shotgun. As well as decent pile of ammunition.

"I call the shotgun." Dempsey said.

"You don't need the shotgun." Nicolai protested. "I just chugged vodka I can't aim for shit and with shotgun... I don't have to aim."

"Fine I'll take the CZ." Dempsey said as Takeo reached for the polished black pistol. Takeo however was already halfway there and got his hand on the grip first.

"Oh come on."

"Ve vill have to share." Richtofen said as he took the Spectre.

"Good things come to those who wait." Takeo said in a halfway trolling manner. "And its not exactly like I have the best weapon ever."

"When packed its decent till round 14." Nikolai said.

"And I remember while you were using it I had to revive you 4 times in one round." Richtofen said.

"Fine." Tank said as he picked up the polished revolver and inspected the cylinder.

They all stuffed the ammo for their respective weapons into the pockets of their space suits. Richtofen opened the cooler.

"I also have perks." Richtofen said opening the small red cooler.

There were four perks drinks. Stamin Up, Deadshot Daiquiri, Speed Cola, and Quick Revive.

Nikolai took first dibs and plucked the speed cola from the cooler. While the doctor cracked open the Quick Revive and Takeo took the Samin Up.

"Terrific, rather than get perks that actually have use like Juggernog, double tap and Mule Kick. You go and get four of the most underused, and quite frankly, worthless perks. I mean Quick Revive? Who the hell uses quick revive?"

"I was low on points after four consecutive hits from the mystery box, this was all I could afford."

"At least we get perks you ungrateful American." Takeo said as he threw away the empty Stamin Up bottle.

Oh wait, I forgot I have double tap. Richtofen said as he pulled out an orange bottle.

Dempsey grabbed at it but not before Richtofen took a drink.

"Oh vait I forgot this is just Hefe-Weissbier." He said and continued drinking.

"Terrific." Dempsey said as he stuffed his pockets full of .357 magnum.

"Well, now that we're slightly armed I say we try to build some points so we can advance through this place." Richtofen said.

"And see if we can find a way to purge those new zombies." Takeo said.

"I'm ready if you are." Tank said looking at Takeo and Nikolai.

Takeo thumbed back the hammer of his CZ and Nicolai pulled the charging handle of the shotgun.

"I'll take that as yes."

"As if I had anything better to do."Said Nikolai. "And since when would I ever let Dempsey get a bigger kill count than me."

"Is that a challenge?" Tank asked.

"Whoever's first to 100 kills gets first dibs on the box ven ve find it." Richtofen said.

"Deal." the other three said.

The four headed though the free door ready to face this new horde.

A/N Allot of dialogue in this one I know, but the action will be coming, trust me.