*plays "In the Arms of an Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin*

Somewhere...out there...there is a poor homeless Turbo that needs your help.

All across the nation, TurboTime machines have been put "Out of Order", leaving the multiple Turbo's without a home and a job.

I am one of them.

We have nowhere to go...no one to take us in. We have no money for food or shelter. We hide in our broken down cars for a while but, since we run out of gas, there's no reason to keep them for long.

Some of us find others to band with so we won't be lonely. Others are not so lucky. We scrounge through the trash looking for any tidbits or leftovers so that we won't starve. We hide in boxes when it rains, though they always get soggy. Some of us get sick and we have no way of seeking medical attention. Many disappear, never to been seen or heard from again.

It's not a very turbo-tastic way to live.

So I ask you to look in the goodness of your hearts...and your wallets...and stop this travesty from growing worse. You can call our toll-free number or visit our website. You may donate however much you wish in a monetary contribution. We ask you to refrain from sending actual items because we tend to fight over them. It's easier to split money, you know.

Support a local Turbo today.

One Week Later

Dixie Darlin: *stares blankly at living room* Um...Turbs? Where'd all this money come from?

Turbo: *dives through the giant pile of dollars bills Scrooge McDuck style* None of your business! It's mine, I tell you! MINE! Hahahahahaha!