Indulgence

Disclaimer

C'mon. It's Hellsing. If I owned this, I would be either Japanese or a dead man by the name of Bram.

Indulgence. Noun. To permit free rein. To grant favor, leniency or dispensation.

"He didn't know, did he?" Her voice was as certain as only a teenager's could be. Absolutely sure that she had divined the secrets of life.

Alucard turned to look at his sixteen-year-old master. Slowly and deliberately he cocked his head in curiosity. "Who was ignorant of what, Mistress?"

Her blue eyes looked up at him with sincerity and... to his dismay, pity. "He didn't realize what would happen to you. When he bound you to us, that is. He didn't know that he was forcing you to become close to humans just to watch them die. He didn't realize he was condemning you to madness."

Alucard snorted and looked away. He ignored the pang as thoughts of Arthur, and eventually Integra and Walter, danced through his head. "You ascribe sympathies to him which were alien to his being. Abraham knew perfectly well what he was doing to me. He gloated about it, in fact. How proud he was to be able to torment a devil!"

He melted into a nearby shadow. As he left her there, gaping in shocked horror, he acknowledged that her composure still needed work. He in no way admitted that he was returning to his room to sulk about the reminder of his enduring torment.

Eighteen-year-old Integra glanced at where he was lounging in front of the fire. His canine form didn't seem to bother her at all. In fact, he'd been rather amused to hear her muttering about old hound dogs, from time to time. Her creative commentaries rather astounded him. He supposed that anyone faced with Walter's wrath for using profanity would learn creativity quickly.

She worried her lip for a moment, then released it. She sucked in a breath and let it out. She opened her mouth, but closed it. She looked back down at her book, only to look at him again.

He was sorely tempted to leave her to her indecision about whatever it was she wanted to discuss. It was greatly entertaining to watch her try to muster her flagging courage. Still, she was his mistress. If she needed something, it was best that he know quickly so that whatever it was could be dealt with.

He took human form, though only the suit, shirt and goggle shades at the moment. It was far too warm near the fire for the coat and hat, even if they were a part of him. "Did you need something, Mistress?"

She drew herself up, a compelling image. The firelight played off her blonde hair and her blue eyes, making her almost a pagan goddess come to life. "I will be the last Hellsing."

The statement was a curious one, and he was tempted to delve into her mind. She had ordered him not to, however, and he wanted to see if she would explain. "Why is that?"

"Because I have no desire to rise as a ghoul should I be bitten. Because I will not let a man steal my inheritance from me through marriage... Because that is the only way that you will be free." She met his eyes, deadly serious. "In return, all I ask of you is that you only kill the undead. No humans, no innocents, no accidents. Once I am gone, only the undead. Do not make me regret my faith in you, Alucard."

"You will regret it, Mistress." His heart, if he still had one, would have been a dead weight in his chest. The girl was setting him on a teetering pedestal. Even his unnatural balance would not be sufficient to keep from toppling. He supposed it was only natural. In her life, she had only Walter and himself as true allies. Some bare remnant of nobility, left over from life, forced him to continue. "I know that you believe this is a good thing to do. Whether you want to hear it or not, your priorities will change as you age. You would regret this promise, were I to hold you to it."

She frowned at him. "I will not regret it."

He gave her a sad smile. "You are my Mistress. I have no right to hold you to such a promise, and I would not even if I did."

With that, he settled once more into his canine form. He ignored her glares and quiet attempts to convince him until her more loud statements finally drove him away. When would she realize that he could hear a whisper across a crowded room? That level of volume hurt!

Quiet nights were fewer and further between these days. Alucard was finding all the stimulation to be... well, stimulating. Integra, he knew, was not nearly as entertained. Her eyes were gaining dark circles and her posture was not nearly as rigid.

He would never admit it out loud, but he was quite worried for his Mistress.

He was especially worried when he noticed that she had – once again – fallen asleep in her office. Her head was resting on some paperwork, and the small bit of drool leaking out of her mouth meant that the particular report would have to be re-printed before it could go to the Queen. It could be worse, he supposed, as he eyed the thirty-page document. At least it wasn't hand written!

He lifted her sleeping form and sighed as he carried her to her room. She would no doubt be angry at this action in the morning. Things were so much easier when Walter was here!... Even if he was a traitorous bastard...

His thirty-year-old master was eying him in a way he found most disconcerting. He hadn't seen that look directed towards him since she was a teenager, with a teen's crush on her real life dark knight. It was disturbing and awkward. He almost wanted to go hide in his coffin. Not that he would admit it, but really...

He dared anyone to receive that Look from her and not consider burying themselves alive for a decade or four.

"Alucard?"

"Yes, Mistress?"

"I have uncovered a very interesting ritual."

He inwardly sighed. It seemed that she had inherited more of her family's passions and depravity than he thought. He wondered how long he would be experimented on this time. "What would you have me do, Mistress?"

She leaned back and lit one of her cigars. Integra took a deep drag and examined it closely for a moment before looking at him. "Did you know that it was possible for True Nosferatu to have children?"

He started to answer, then his brain stuttered to a shrieking halt. His mental train had left the tracks and derailed into a ravine, only to have the nuclear warhead in one of the cars go off. What?... What?!... WHAT?!

Outwardly, his lips pulled into a disbelieving smirk. "Could you... possibly repeat that?"

"Children, Alucard. Would you want one?" She studied him over the edge of her teacup while he tried to reboot his brain. "With the growing pressure from the others on the Round Table to produce an heir, I'm starting to think that you just might be the only male I'd be willing to procreate with."

He blinked, just to prove to himself that his eyes would open and close and that he wasn't having an especially strange dream. "Mistress... I am aware of the ritual. However, are you aware of what it will do to you?"

She quirked an eyebrow. "Do explain."

In an almost defensive gesture, he unconsciously drew the shadows closer. "You will need to practically bathe in my blood. This is, of course, to happen while I deflower you inside a ritual circle drawn in our mixed blood. Conception is guaranteed. Then, during the course of the pregnancy, you would need more blood so that the child would survive to birth. Finally, you would die immediately afterwards and rise as a fully-empowered True Nosferatu. There would be no acclimatization time, no master. You would simply be one of the damned and dependent on only your own self control to keep you in check.

"Our child would age until he died, either from age or misfortune, then rise as one of us. The three of us would exist forever as members of the undead. We would be hunted by former allies and current enemies, alike. And, if you think I would put up with having you in my bed only the once, you are quite delusional."

If he was hoping that his bluntness would snap her back to rationality, he was wrong. He waited for her inevitable rejection of the idea, but it didn't come. "That last had occurred to me, yes. I am also aware of the rest."

His replacement train of thought found a deeper ravine, leading to the center of the planet, where it destabilized the core and destroyed it. The resulting debris hit the sun and caused an interesting cascade reaction version of pinball that resulted in the destruction of the galaxy and – ultimately – the known universe. All that was left was a technicolor image of Integra, flushed and moaning with pleasure in his bed. The surround sound was a nice touch.

Outwardly, his only sign of inner turmoil – and growing arousal – was a slow blink. "I... see."

"I noticed that you used the male pronoun. Are you hoping for a boy?"

Recovering a bit, he quirked an eyebrow. "All fathers hope for sons. Still, I suppose it would be easier on our offspring were it a boy. Can you imagine the hell a daughter would go through? Our daughter? Especially in her teen years..."

He could almost see the images of their little girl bringing home a boy to a gun-crazy mother and a blood-thirsty (and equally gun-crazy) father going through her head. A little smile played about her lips as she considered this. He wondered if she saw the boy jumping out of a window to escape the potential in-laws. He, personally, didn't believe that the imaginary boy would make it to the window before succumbing to his wounds.

Of course, these images were also accompanied by more practical ones of the enemies the girl would have to deal with. Still, the boyfriend scenario was more amusing.

She leaned back in her chair and took another hit from her cigar. "Hm. Are you willing to risk it?"

Pressure from the other Knights. She would let herself become a monster just to spite them? He loved her and wanted no harm to come to her. But, they both knew that he was too selfish a creature to turn down the chance to claim her as his. A manic grin crossed his face. "Oh, yes."

Note:

Thirty years to come back to himself seems a bit much to me. Two or three years? Yes. Thirty years? This is Alucard. I don't see it taking nearly that long. So, there is a more than mild divergence from canon.

What could drive Integra to this? Pressure to produce an heir? The disappearance and reappearance of Alucard? The realization that she loved him? The betrayal and death of Walter? Realizing that vampire didn't automatically mean evil? (Look at Seras, after all.) All of the above? We know the reasons she gave Alucard. Those will have to do.

This fic has serious moments and hints of crack!fic strewn about haphazardly through out. I'm tired and writing for my own benefit at the moment. Sometimes, escaping reality for a few hours is the only way to survive it.

For those who are curious – my mother is doing well. The doctors are liking her reaction to the chemo. It's still a stress, though, and I still have a zillion and one things to do. As such, I'm not concentrating on much more than entertaining myself and going with whatever bunny happens to hop across my path. I'll get back to the others eventually. Just... Let me stick to one-shots for the moment. They're less work and I can scribble them out while mom's in chemo.

If anyone else wants to continue this or flesh it out, feel free. Just let me know so that I can read it!