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Chapter 20

"I'll understand if you hate me," she spoke softly and before he had a chance to tell her that he would never feel that way no matter what she did she added, "I hate me too."

Leon had managed to get her to lie down in Vince's bed and after the emotional roller coaster she had been on along with the pill she had managed to swallow before he stopped her she drifted off to sleep. He cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and sat on the couch with his head in his hands. He had no idea how to help his sister and it absolutely terrified him. Their mother, as unreliable as she was, had been MacKenna's rock and with her gone Leon was unsure of what he should do. He thought about maybe moving back to New York with her or even moving somewhere random where there weren't any memories attached to it but for now all he could do was sit and think.

Vince and Jesse were the next two home the latter still recovering and needing to take something for the pain. Jesse patted Leon on the shoulder as he went in search for his pills and came back with confusion written clearly on his face. "Hey, you see where I set my pills. Can't seem to find 'em."

Leon tossed him the bottle, "You're missing a few."

The realization hit Vince and he let out a deep breath, "Mac?"

"Upstairs in your bed sleeping it off."

Jesse grabbed a Snapple and took the recommended dose before shoving the bottle in his pocket to keep it away from MacKenna. He sat heavily on the other end of the couch and looked between Vince and Leon. "What are we going to do?"

"I have absolutely no idea," Leon ran a hand over his face in frustration.

"We'll get her through this," Vince added before he took off up the stairs. "Whatever it takes."

True to Leon's word, MacKenna was fast asleep curled up on his bed. Vince shut the door behind him and just watched her sleep. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her but he was just as much at a loss as to what exactly to do.

She slept for what seemed like hours before she finally started to stir and Vince was there brushing the hair out of her face. "Baby girl." She grunted in response as she slowly started to open her eyes and pull herself up in the bed so she was leaning against the headboard. "How you feeling?"

"Like my mother just died and my father couldn't give two shits about anything."

"We should go on vacation," Vince suddenly spoke up and Mac quirked an eyebrow. "We can get away from everything for awhile. Just the two of us. Anywhere you want to go."

MacKenna didn't want to go on vacation but he had just put an idea in her head.

X-X-X

Leon sat at the kitchen table with a beer in his hands, staring at it as if it held all the answers. MacKenna came down the stairs in search of something to drink and found him sitting there all alone. "Don't think it's going to drink itself." When he didn't even crack a smile she grabbed a bottle of water and pulled herself up on the counter. "I have to do this, Le."

"No," he shook his head, slamming the bottle down on the table hand enough that some splashed out. "Whenever there is trouble you run and that's all you're doing right now, MacKenna, you're running. You're running away from me, from Jesse, from Vince, from Mia…you're running away from your family!" He stood, knocking the chair back into the wall as he came to stand in front of her. "What if something happens, huh? What if you get into another accident or what if-?"

"Stop," she cut him off. "We can play 'what if' all night long and it won't change anything. I can't stay here, Leon! I can't go to work without thinking about getting high. I can't drive down the street without thinking about mom. I can't look at myself in the mirror! I can't stay in this house anymore it's driving me insane. I can't go back to New York…" she trailed off as the tears welled up in her eyes. "I don't have anywhere else to go!"

"Then let me come with you."

Both Leon and Mac turned to see Vince standing in the doorway, having overheard their conversation. Mac choked back the tears as she shook her head. "I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking," he stepped further into the room. "I'm telling you I want to go with you."

"No," she refused to back down.

Leon's face was a mask of anger, "Then stay here! Why are you being so difficult?! I know it hasn't been some grand vacation or anything for you since you've got here but it'll get better, Mac, I promise you it'll get better but you have to stay."

"For how long?!" Mac screamed back, jumping off the counter to stand in front of Leon and Vince. Two of the three most important people in her life. "Everyone always leaves. This is my chance to leave. This is my chance to start over somewhere that no one knows my name, or my story, or anything. I need this." She took a deep breath and looked them straight in the eye. "I'm going and there isn't anything you can say to change my mind."

X-X-X

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things MacKenna ever had to do. She was used to running. She was used to just up and leaving without a second thought but this time she was saying goodbye. The team had breakfast together, one last meal before their family unit once again changed, and then started filing back into the house one by one as Mac packed her car leaving Vince, Leon, and Jesse outside with her.

Dropping the lunch Mia had packed for her in the front seat she turned to Jesse and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth. She took a long drag and handed it back before hugging him. His arms went around her small frame and he whispered the same words he had told her when he left New York. "Be safe. No matter what you'll always be my girl."

Leon leaned against her car with his arms crossed, still not okay with the idea of her leaving. She moved to stand next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Remember when you said you would do anything for me all I had to do was ask?"

"Yeah."

"I'm asking for you to let me go, Le."

He let out a long breath and draped his arm over her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. "You're always welcome here. You get there and decide it's not for you just get in the car and come back. No questions asked, okay?"

Mac went on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek, "Okay."

Leon and Jesse moved over to the sidewalk and let Vince have a moment alone with her. There was about a million things he wanted to say but could think of a single one. He had sat up all night coming up with alternate options and fighting points to get her to stay but now that he was standing in front of her he couldn't think of one. He loved her, loved her more than he knew was possible, and that meant he had to let her go.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she dropped her head unable to look him in the eye. There hadn't been any one else that had ever loved or cared for her as much as he did but this was something she had to do. She had to get away from the drugs and the memories. She needed to start over and try to piece herself back together.

Vince hooked a finger under her chin, lifting it so she had no choice but to look him in the eye. "You ever need anything, anything at all, you call me." He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering longer than necessary, but pulled away before she could start crying. "I do love you."

Mac nodded and stepped back to hug Leon one more time before getting in the car. It was hard to see Jesse, Leon, and Vince in her rearview mirror as she drove away but she also knew it was for the best. It wasn't fair to them to have to deal with her mess. It wasn't fair that they would have to worry every day and pray every night. She swiped at her tears as she turned the corner, no longer being able to see them.

"I love you too, Vince."

Two Years Later

"Oh, you know, it's been work nothing too exciting." She could hear Jesse typing away on the other end of the phone before he asked when she was coming for a visit. "I don't know, Jess…" He started in on his begging as he did every time they talked on the phone and it brought a sad smile to her face. She wished she was strong enough to go back to LA but she hadn't been since she left. Leon and Mia had visited a few times and every time she would ask about Vince they would change the subject. She assumed he moved on. Not that she could blame him, it had been two years since she drove away from him and he couldn't stay lonely until she got her act together. "Listen, Jesse, I have to go I'm almost home but I'll you again Friday, okay? And say hi to Le for me."

MacKenna could have only wished upon a star so many times before she realized that maybe she wasn't supposed to find someone to share her life with. She had gotten used to the empty bed and the lonely apartment. She had the best man anyone could ever ask for and she had walked away from it.

As she got closer to her apartment she saw someone sitting on her front stoop and rolled her eyes thinking it was for her neighbor who was forever fighting with her boyfriend. It wasn't until she was only a few feet away that she noticed it was Vince. She went to open her mouth but she couldn't even get his name to pass her lips. He stood when he noticed she was home and with a simple smile she that maybe it was fate after all.