Touch of Chaos

Chapter 1: Change & Constant

[Bella's POV]

Change is a huge part of life. In fact, it is life. Change is life. Life is constantly changing whether we like it or not. I don't, as a matter of fact, but that doesn't stop it from happening. I've learned to accept it and smile through it. Change doesn't happen so that you can mope about it and let the waves of desolation crash over you. No. It happens so you can learn from it and experience a new way of life. It's hard to image why but change is good. Change is how we grow and learn to live our lives. Change is life. Change is us.

Change was a very important part of my life. I changed parents, schools, friends, and lives. When I was seven, my mom decided she wanted change; apparently she couldn't live in tiny ole' Forks, Washington anymore. It was suffocating her and she couldn't take it any longer so she decided to leave my dad, taking me with her. Did I have a choice? No. If I did, would I have stayed?

Probably not.

My father, Charlie Swan, was and still is a very simple man. His favorite place to eat is the local burger joint, his hobby is fishing, and he is the police Chief of Forks. The job is his wife and kids. His family.

I look a lot like him, actually, a bit more like him than I do my mom. I have his brown hair and almond eye shape, or so they say. The things I got from my mom are her chocolate brown eyes that are this interesting medium true brown, my eyes have this decadent connection, and her locks of maple.

My mother, Renee Dwyer, is a happy-go-lucky free spirit. She's full of life and passion. She doesn't know what she wants in life, but she does know she wants to live. And that I do get from her. The desire to live. I want to live my life to the fullest. I'm afraid to close my eyes as though if I do I'll miss something.

I'm very plain, I know. I have an okay body, but I have never really let anyone judge so how would I even know? I've learned to accept it and live with it. I'm happy the way I am. I won't deny that I wish I was prettier, but honestly, which teenage girl doesn't? I'm your average girl-next-door. Bella Swan.

"Bella," Renee cried for the hundredth time, "Are you sure about this?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Yes, mom. Don't worry. I want this."

I wasn't lying. Not completely. A part of me was excited to see Charlie. I hadn't seen him for a year now since his summer visit was cancelled. When duty calls, Charlie Swan is always there.

Renee looked doubtful but I'd been saying this all morning so she had to believe me. "You know you can always come home. Phil and I would love to have you with us," she assured me with anxious eyes.

Phil was her husband of four years. He was good for her. He loved her and kept her happy. He was a major baseball player and his fan base consisted of middle-age women and jealous men.

More tears and worrying, and then I was boarding the plane. The ride to Seattle wasn't very interesting. I sat next to an old lady who snored for the entire time. When the plane landed, I collected my luggage and set off to find Charlie.

I had only been waiting a couple of minutes when I saw him. He looked just the same as before. I walked over to him and it wasn't until I was directly in front of him that he noticed.

"Bella," he smiled warmly and pulled me into a hug. It wasn't an awkward hug, but for some reason it was strange. Either way, I really had missed Charlie.

"Hi dad," I said softly with my lip curving upwards at the corners, I couldn't possibly hide a cheesy grin.

He pulled back and looked me over. "You look different," he noted, with one finger pointing at me.

I lightly pushed his finger down so he didn't have to point at me anymore. "Yeah. Mom got to me," I giggled. "After her agency started booming she decided to give me a whole new look."

Charlie sighed and with a shake of his head he said, "Well, your mom gets to everyone."

I chuckled and followed him outside. It was raining but that wasn't unusual at all. It always rained here.

I internally groaned when I realized that we were driving home in the cruiser. Of course I knew Charlie didn't have another vehicle but I'd forgotten about the attention grabbing cop cruiser.

Another thing, the sight of the vehicle froze my blood. I knew we'd be driving home, it wasn't like we could walk the two hour drive. Even preparing myself with two pills of Ativan hadn't done anything to quench the sudden rush of bile in my throat. I swallowed hard and followed Charlie with shaky legs.

The ride to Forks was pretty quiet; Charlie and I never had a talkative relationship. He asked me a couple of questions about Renee and Phil but strayed away from the topics of school or friends. He knew me too well.

I spent the entire ride doing quiet breathing exercises with my hands clenched at my sides. Charlie glanced at me worriedly every time we turned but never commented on it. I was sure Renée had filled him in with at least the details. My mother wasn't known for being thorough.

When we pulled into the driveway, what came into view was his two story, two bedroom house. It was just the same. Memories of playing in the yard with both my parents and making snow angels flooded my mind. Drinking green tea on the porch with Renee and doing the Sunday crossword puzzle with Charlie.

I blinked back the tears and followed Charlie to the door. He had my duffel bag in one hand and his keys in the other. As I stepped onto the porch, I looked down at the weed-covered patch of dirt off to the side. Renee and I had planted tulips there when I was five. It made me sad to see that they had died long ago and the weeds had taken over their home. Just like people died and hate began to spread on their memories. It was quite sad.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and before going inside, I promised myself I would bring the garden back to life.

The inside of the house was the same too. Not a thing had changed. Pictures of Renee and me covered the walls and the yellow paint on the kitchen walls was just as faded as the day Renee painted it.

With not much to see on the first floor, I followed Charlie upstairs. He showed me to my room and with an awkward mention of pizza for dinner he left.

I looked around my childhood bedroom and with a sigh I collapsed onto my bed. Looking up at the butterflies on the ceiling I smiled. Butterflies were a symbol of hope and that was exactly what I needed. Hope. I was starting over now. Forks was a new beginning. I hoped this new life would turn out to be better than the old one. Even if only a little. Any amount of change would be good for me.

I fingered the blue duvet and looked around my remodeled room again. Everything was new; the table, computer, bed, curtains, and walls. The table and bedframe was a dark chocolate brown while the curtains, walls, and bed sheets were ocean blue. Calming. Quite calming.

I looked over at the long mirror in the corner of the room. While getting up, I strutted as if I were pretending - and failing - to be a model and headed over to the mirror to giggle at my own stupidity. And then I stopped, glaring at my reflection. I focused on my body, noticing the average height. And I mean my boobs are okay, they're a nice C-cup but I don't think they're that perky. I grabbed a handful of my bubble but and honestly wished it would shrink a little bit. The only thing I could probably say that satisfied me about my body is my flat stomach.

I squatted down in front of the mirror, wiped away the dust, and just stared at the grey dirt on my fingers.

Like the ride home, dinner was a quiet affair. Charlie didn't talk much so that made it easy for me to avoid a conversation. I wasn't really up to talking yet. I was still adjusting to the changes. Besides, the four hour long flight had left me exhausted and not to mention, the terrifying drive from Seattle.

After dinner finished the dishes and was about to leave to go to bed when Charlie cleared his throat.

"Ehrm. I just wanted to let you know that I arranged a ride for you to school tomorrow," he explained. "Alice Cullen. Sweet girl. She lives next door."

I bit my lip and shook my head as I said, "I'd rather just walk, please."

Charlie frowned and said, "I don't know, Bella. The school is pretty far."

"It's a twenty minute walk," I added and then explained sheepishly, "I checked online."

"Thirty," he corrected me.

I shrugged and said, "Same difference. Either way, I want to walk. It's great exercise. Got to keep the heart pumping loud and clear, right?"

Charlie rolled his eyes and said, "Fine. Off to bed you go, kiddo. School tomorrow."

I smiled and kissed him goodnight before heading upstairs. Once my teeth were brushed, pajamas put on, and bag readied for school, I turned off the light and tucked myself into bed. I smiled to myself in the dark when I realized that this might not be so hard after all. Then, just before I drifted off, I pulled my hands together and thought as sincerely as I could.

Dear God,

Thank you for another okay day. Thank you for giving me another chance. Please, please, oh please don't let me screw up tomorrow. I just want to find a friend tomorrow. I really don't want to spend the rest of my year eating my lunch in the washroom alone. So please don't let that happen. Thanks, again.

I wasn't religious but my mother once told me that if you prayed to god every night and thanked him for what you had, then he would grant you your wishes. Many years later, I still followed the same ritual every night.

With that last thought, I drifted off to sleep with piano music floating in my ears.

-8-8-8-8-8-

The next morning, I was awoken by a sharp pain in my stomach. Sitting up with an arm around my middle, it took me a moment to recognize the nausea building up inside me. I bolted to the washroom and threw up the measly contents of my dinner.

"Ugh!" I groaned and avoided looking into the toilet as I flushed it.

Charlie found me an hour later with my cheek pressed against the cool, smooth surface of the bathtub. He took one look at me and said, "I'll go and call the school to let them know you won't be going today. Jesus, Bella. Sick on your first day?"

I nodded weakly.

After Charlie helped me back into bed, he left for work. On my bedside table he'd left me some crackers, water, and several vomit bags. I smiled at his thoughtfulness.

I spent most of the day in bed, sleeping my butt off, and puking up all the nonexistent food in my stomach. I swear, at one point I was thoroughly convinced that there was nothing left to throw up in my stomach. Around five, I had enough strength to risk a trip downstairs; I was out of crackers.

Sitting at the small dining table and munching on crackers, I was staring out the kitchen window blankly when the doorbell rang.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and curiosity. "Who the hell?" I muttered as I slowly walked over to the door.

I wrenched it open and stared with wide eyes at the mass of meat before me. Soft, dark curls rested on his forehead and he wore a white sweatshirt with the words "SPARTANS" written over it. I could have sworn that if he flexed that his whole shirt would rip. He must've been almost six feet and twice as wide as me. He was very handsome with beautiful hazel eyes that twinkled with excitement once he saw me. If it weren't for the impish grin on his face and the dimples that shone widely, I would've believe he was a grown man.

"Can I—uh help you?" I stuttered as politely as I could without staring like a creep.

"Are you the Chief's daughter?" he asked curiously.

I nodded, still quite unsure about this huge stranger.

The boy's smile widened and he held out a gloved hand from behind his back. "I'm Emmett Cullen," he exclaimed proudly. "Your neighbor and saviour."

I pursed my lips and nodded my head once while giving him a sarcastic look. "Savior?" I asked confused and seriously considering that he might be an imposter; I didn't realize the Cullens had a son and a weird one at that.

He brought his other hand forward and, at once, I recognized the warm and delicious smell of chicken soup.

"Fresh from the pot with well wishes from mom," he sang and grinned again.

I smiled back – his happy demeanor was contagious – and decided at once he wasn't an imposter.

"You came just in time," I chuckled. "I was starving. Come on in."

I moved back to let him through which he did with a bounce in his step. I followed him to the kitchen and pulled out a bowl as he placed the container on the counter.

"Would you like some?"

Emmett shook his head and with a guilty grin he admitted, "Nah I already snuck some out of the pot." His eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Is it that good?" I giggled as I looked for a soupspoon.

Emmett nodded eagerly.

"Mom makes the best chicken soup for miles. She could totally go on Master Chef."

"Wish I could say the same for my mom," I sighed, pouring myself some of the freakishly good-looking soup. "She can't cook to save her life."

Emmett chuckled and took a seat across from me at the dining table.

"Who cooked dinner in your house then? Or did you guys survive on takeout?"

"Well I don't mean to brag but you're looking at the three-times winner of Upper Phoenix's Youth cooking competition," I smirked and bowed in a joking manner.

Emmett's eyes widened and he gasped, "No way! You can cook?"

I nodded and giggled at his shocked expression. "Why do you find that so surprising?"

"Well, no offence, but your dad isn't exactly much of a cook and you just told me your mom isn't either so it's kind of unexpected," Emmett admitted sheepishly.

I laughed at his, yet again, guilty expression and Emmett joined me after a pause. "Non-taken."

"You know you're not half bad. I like you and you're funny," Emmett said after a couple seconds of silence. I raised my eyebrow at the first part of his confession.

"What did you think I was going to be like? A complete snob or something?" I wondered.

"Yeah, that and more. Since your step-dad is rich we sort of just expected something like that."

It's so funny how people can just make assumptions like that. Well, at least I prove people wrong every time they think that I'm some kind of high-class girl with her nose in the air. The image of me being snobbish, or even trying to act that way almost made me laugh. "Have you seen your own house? You guys aren't exactly middle-class," I retorted. "Who is we, by the way?"

"My siblings and I."

"It's not just Alice and you? There's more?"

Emmett nodded. "I have a - ."

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic

You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere

Imagination, Life Is Your Creation

I watched amusingly as Emmett pulled out his phone with a warning glare at my giggling self.

I shook my head and tried to maintain a neutral expression, but this was all way too tempting. I held up one hand and gave him a thumbs-up sign and smiled. "Wow," I mouthed.

He shot me another dirty look. "Hello," Emmett sang happily. "Yes, Alice. No, Alice. Yes, Alice. No, Alice, she's not a snob! No, Alice. No! Fine, Alice."

The whole time I was just staring at him with an amused expression on my face. A grin played gently on my lips as I fought to keep in my laughter.

Emmett sighed and hung up. He gave me a desolate smile and got up.

"I have to go. Alice is going to kill me. I promised to go shopping with her so she wouldn't tell mom I broke her vase," Emmett explained.

"Aw. That sucks. Besides, I didn't think you'd be a shopper," I teased him as I accompanied him to the door.

"I'm not but desperate times call for desperate measures," Emmett grinned. "Bye, Bella. It was great to meet you."

"Bye, Emmett. It's was nice meeting you too," I smiled and with a wave, closed the door behind him.

I had just turned and taken a few steps to the kitchen when the bell rang. With delightful confusion I turned back and opened the door to see a very sheepish Emmett scratching the back of his head.

I smiled widely. "Emmett?"

"Hey, again. I just remembered mom told me to invite you and Charlie to dinner tonight. If you're up to it," he added.

"That'll be great. Charlie promised he'd be home early and I'm sure he'd love to come."

"Great. So don't forget about dinner at seven," he reminded and with a wink he was gone.

I smiled and shook my head at his bounding figure jumping onto his porch. He opened his front door and before going in, he waved. I waved back and giggled at his friendliness.

Closing the front door, I realized that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I would actually like Forks. One could only hope.

So far, everything had been different. A huge change from the constant that was Phoenix. Perhaps, Forks would be my new constant. Lord knows I needed one after everything that had happened. Yeah, I could just see that happening. I could see Forks as my new constant.

Author's Note:

Hey everybody!

This is a revamp of my older fic 'Trail of Dreams'. The first chapter is relatively similar with a couple changes but I did change much of the plot around. Tell me what you think of this plot bunny and be sure to leave a review. I would really love that.

- Lovenyx125

P.S. Check out my other fic 'Fighting Destiny'.