ACT OF FAITH

SETTINGS: During/after The Gift.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, yadda yadda.

COUPLE: Buffy/Giles. 

CHAPTER ONE: FAITH

With determination stretched clearly across her face, she pushed the short demon off the tower, rushing towards her sister.

"Buffy it hurts," Dawn whimpered.

"I got it.  Come here.  You're gonna be okay," Buffy said softly, trying to get her younger sister to calm down.

She undid the ropes on her sister's hands and lead her away from the edge, the young girl limping slightly.

Dawn stopped and looked back at where she had been.  She turned to her sister.

"Go!" Buffy implored, not even for a moment considering letting her sister jump into the portal.  Even if it would cost the world, she wasn't willing to let her sister pay that price.

"Buffy, it's started," Dawn said.  "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter," Buffy said, resigning herself to the fact that she was about to let the world end.  She would rather not have the world exist than to live in a world where she had let her sister die.

Dawn pushed past Buffy in an attempt to get back to the edge.  Buffy held her back, grabbing her wist and pulling her.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"I have to jump," Dawn explained.  "The energy."

"It'll kill you," Buffy said, almost angry that her sister had even suggested jumping.

"I know," Dawn replied sadly.  "Buffy, I know about the ritual.  I have to stop it."

"No," Buffy said.

The tower shook slightly, both of them stumbling a little.

"I have to.  Look at what's happening," Dawn said, just as a dragon flew out of the portal and into the skies of Sunnydale.  "Buffy, you have to let me go. Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing, it'll never stop."

Buffy could only stare at her sister.  When had Dawn become to grown up, so level-headed?  The monks had certainly given her part of the hero within Buffy.

"You know you have to let me. It has to have the blood," Dawn said, tears threatening to fall down her wind-blown cheeks.

Buffy looked at her, shocked by her sisters' words.  The blood!

"Cause it's always got to be blood," Spike had said.

"It's Summers blood. It's just like mine," she heard herself saying to Dawn.

"She's me. The monks made her out of me," another of her own voices said.

"Death is your gift," the spirit guide had told her that so many months ago.

"Death…"

"Is your gift."

Buffy turned slowly, looking towards the portal that was nearly completely open.  She almost smiled as she realised that she had figured out another way.  She could save her sister.  She turned back to her sister, a peaceful look covering her face.

Dawn stared at her, wide-eyed, knowing that her sister had pieced something together that was going to tear them apart.

"Buffy, no!" Dawn said, shaking her head empathically.

"Dawnie, I have to," Buffy said calmly.

"No!"

"Listen to me.  Please, there's not a lot of time, listen," Buffy implored.

She grabbed a hold of her younger sister, keeping her sister from running towards the portal and also keeping her on her feet as Buffy told her what would be her last words.

"Dawn, listen to me.  Listen.  I love you.  I will always love you.  But this is the work that I have to do.  Tell Giles…tell Giles that I figured it out.  And, and I'm okay.  And give my love to my friends.  You have to take care of them now.  You have to take care of each other.  You have to be strong.  Dawn, the hardest thing is this world…is to live in it.  Be brave. Live.  For me."

She stroked her younger sister's cheek and kissed it softly, tears cascading down the younger Summers' girls face.  She looked at Dawn one last time before turning and running off the platform, diving into the portal that would close when her blood flowed no more.

Dawn watched in horror as she saw her sister jump in her place.  Tears welled in her eyes and she ran to the edge of the tower, contemplating jumping in after her sister.  She stopped, remembering Buffy's last words. 

"Live.  For me."

Faith shot up in bed, sweat making her dull grey clothing stick uncomfortably to her skin.  She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to make the shaking stop, wishing that she could erase the memory of the image of Buffy jumping from the tower into the swirling portal below.

She had only had dreams like that when she had been the Slayer.  When she had begun working for the Mayor, the dreams had stopped.  For a while, whilst in her coma, they had returned, but they had never been of the prophetic nature of 'Slayer-vision' as she and Buffy had dubbed it. 

She jumped from her bed, beginning to pace around the tiny confinement of her cell, feeling increasingly restless.  From the looks of the outside world, which she could only see through a small window in the corner of her cell, the sun was only just coming up over the horizon.

It would be at least another hour before they did the daily cell check.  She wanted – needed – to call Angel and ask him if he had heard anything about Buffy.  She had to know if her mind was subjecting her to new levels of torture or if the dream truly had been real.

Faith had been in the LA prison for nearly fifteen months now.  After her antics in both Sunnydale and LA she had been hesitant to make any contact with anyone from either place.  When a letter from Buffy had shown up for her in her second week of being imprisoned, she had been completely shocked.

From then on, she and Buffy had kept in constant contact with each other.  The letters seemed to constantly become longer and longer and were sent on a weekly basis, the highlight of Faith's week.

Buffy had kept Faith informed on everything from Joyce passing away to the information about Dawn being the Key and Glory wanting Dawn's blood.

Faith had always written back with amusing storied of what people in the prison had been doing.  Some stories, however, had been a little more serious.  People seemed to go missing, while others were found as large piles of dust when morning came.

Lost in her thoughts and in her pacing, Faith nearly missed the mandatory wake up call.  The cell doors opened noisily and she stepped out, her hands by her sides.  Out of habit she looked to her right and left, seeing who was still here and who had not survived the night.

The cell check was done quickly and they were herded out to the cafeteria area.  Faith sat her food in front of her, pushing the unknown substance around the plate, not even attempting to try and eat.

She was unsettled and thrown by the dream.  She knew that she wouldn't feel comfortable again until she found out the truth of what happened.  She could feel something missing, a massive part of her.  Somehow, she already knew the horrible truth.  Buffy was dead.

~*~

Later that afternoon, sitting in her cell, she wrote her dream down in a letter to Buffy, tears slowly falling from her cheeks.  She heard keys jangling in the lock of her door and she looked up, surprised to see that she hadn't heard anyone approaching.

She looked up at the officer that seemed to be the only one who liked her in the slightest.  Wiping her cheeks quickly, she gave a weak smile and waited to hear what Sophie Bargo had to say.

"You got a letter and a visitor," Sophie said, handing Faith an envelope and holding the door open for Faith to come through.

Faith looked longingly at the envelope, her name written in Buffy's neat cursive handwriting.

"Who's the visitor?" Faith asked.

"Tall, dark, brooding and gorgeous," Sophie replied, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Faith stood up quickly, pocketed the envelope and moved past Sophie, walking quickly towards the visitors room.  She saw Angel and sat down in front of him, sound proof and bullet proof glass between them.

Faith picked up the speakerphone before Angel had even realised that she was there.

"Faith," Angel started, his voice catching in his throat.  Faith's hopeful expression immediately fell as she saw Angel's serious and sad face.  It looked as though she hadn't been the only one crying earlier that afternoon.

"It's Buffy isn't it?" Faith asked.

Angel looked at her, taken aback.

"How did you-"

"I saw it happen," Faith said sadly. "This morning, I dreamt it.  I was hoping that I was wrong."

Angel shook his head sadly, a single tear falling.  Faith felt a tightening pain in her chest, wishing for the millionth time that she could take back the last two years,

"When did it happen?" Faith asked, wishing that she hadn't, but needing to know the answers to the questions that had been hounding her mind since this morning.

"This morning, around six.  Willow just told me," Angel said.

"I'm sorry," Faith said quietly.

Angel shook his head, silently telling her it wasn't her fault.

"How's Giles taking it?" Faith asked.

"Not well.  Willow said that everyone was taking it pretty badly," Angel explained.  "Giles especially."

Faith nodded, unsure of what to say.  "He was her Watcher," was all she could think of.

Angel nodded his agreement, as though that one sentence immediately summed up everything that had happened between Buffy and Giles. 

Faith didn't know what else to say to the brooding vampire in front of her.  Their friendship was tentative at best and comforting him over the girl that she had tried to kill so many times just didn't seem to be appropriate.

"I just thought you should know," Angel said, obviously not knowing what to say to her either. 

Faith nodded and felt her pocket, making sure the letter was still safely hidden there.

"Thanks," she said softly.  "For coming."

Angel nodded and hung up the phone, standing slowly as though his very being ached without Buffy's presence.  No matter how long it had been since he and Buffy had seen each other, it still hurt to know that he wouldn't ever be able to see her again.

Faith stood up quickly, bolting out of the visitors room, rushing back towards her cell.  She flung herself onto her bed after taking the envelope from her pocket, ripping the letter open.

Dear Faith,

I'm sorry this is so short, but I've only got a few seconds.  Glory has my sister and things aren't exactly of the good here.  Giles says that there's only one way to close the portal if Glory manages to get it open.  He wants me to kill Dawn.  To kill my sister. I wish I could hate him for even suggesting it, but, I love him anyway.  I hope I get to tell him that.  If I don't make it for some reason, could you tell him I loved him to the end?

Anyway I WILL find another way, even if it kills me.  There is NO way in hell that I will kill my sister.  As much of a pain as she is sometimes, there is NO chance that I will hurt her.

If I don't write for a while, then I guess it'll mean that something bad has happened but I sincerely hope I can avoid that at all costs.  But, whatever happens, I just wanna say that even after all the crap we've put each other through, you're still a good friend.

Take care of yourself.

Love Buffy.

Faith wiped tears from her eyes and stood up, walking over to the small shoebox in the corner.  She lifted the lid and slid the envelope to the back of the overflowing box.

She looked towards her half-finished letter that she had been working on earlier.  There seemed to be no point to it now.  With tears flowing freely, she ripped the paper into tiny fragments, letting the pieces slip silently through her fingers.

It seemed as though Buffy had found another way.  And it had killed her.  But, like Buffy had said, there was no way that she was going to let her sister die. 

She tore off a new sheet of paper from her worn out notebook and scribbled a hasty letter, not even thinking as the words flowed from her pen.

She took a final look out the small window, taking in the bright lights of the city, faintly able to hear a police siren in the distance. After only a moments hesitation, she closed her eyes and finally knew peace.

~*~

Dawn Summers curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.  Around her, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Spike and Giles did much the same thing.

The room was blanketed in an eerie silence, except for Xander's unusually loud wristwatch, the only indication that the world wasn't standing still.  Tears fell from red eyes, not a single one of them bothering to hide their grief.

The funeral had been that morning, a grey and overcast day, perfect weather which had meant that Spike and Angel had been able to attend.  To everyone's surprise, they weren't the only vampires who had attended.  Angel had counted at least seven other vampires, not including Spike and himself who had shown up to pay their respects, and had not even attempted to make trouble.

It was when each member of the Scooby Gang had scattered dirt onto the small coffin that the horrible truth had finally set it.

Buffy was gone.  And she wasn't coming back.

A loud motorcycle revving outside broke the still silence.  Giles glanced out the window and saw the mailman continue on down the street.

"Mail's here," he commented softly.

No one moved for nearly half an hour.  It was Tara who stood up awkwardly and moved towards the door.  She quickly collected the mail and returned to the room.

Uncertain of what to do with the four envelopes addressed to Buffy, she put them down on the coffee table in front of Giles.  He stared at them, in doubt of what he should do.  Buffy herself had gone through the same dilemma of having to open her mother's mail after Joyce had died.

It seemed almost distasteful to open the mail meant for his Slayer, but….like Buffy had said about her mother's mail, it  had to be done.

He picked up the small pile cautiously, almost waiting for Buffy to bound down the stairs and snatch it from him, playfully telling him to keep his paws off of them.  He stared at the envelopes, determining what each of them were.

Bill.  Bill.  Bank statement.  Letter.  Postmarked from LA.  Angel, he thought immediately.  The writing seemed unfamiliar though, some part of his mind telling him that it was a females handwriting, though he couldn't be certain.

He flipped the envelope over to see a small heart with a stake through it.  He almost smiled, recognising the symbol that Buffy had sometimes doodled on her notebooks when she had been in the library.

He opened the envelope and pulled out three pages, written front and back.  He turned to the back of the last page and nearly dropped the letter when he was whom it was from.

Write back soon!

Love Faith.

Willow saw the Watcher's expression of shock and glanced towards Tara worriedly.

"Who's it from?" Willow asked quietly.

Giles couldn't quite find the words to say all he wanted to.  He looked up and removed his glasses.

"It's from Faith," he said.

The entire room looked up at him as one. 

"Faith as in…homicidal maniac Faith?  Faith that teamed up with the Mayor, stole Buffy's body, slept with Riley and almost got away to Mexico Faith?" Xander asked.

Giles nodded.  "Apparently."

"Oh," Xander said, still confused.  "Just wanted to be clear."

"Did…did you know about this Dawn?" Willow asked gently.

Dawn shook her head slightly and tried to find her voice.

"She never told me who they were from," Dawn explained. "I thought it was Angel at first, but…the writing wasn't his."

"So this isn't a new thing then?" Xander commented.

"She's been getting one of those letters every week for the last year," Dawn said.

The room went silent once more, each of the Scoobies trying to work out what to do with this new information.

"Maybe…maybe someone should…should tell Faith," Tara suggested nervously.

"Why, so she can dance on Buffy's grave?  So she can make fun of us and…and," Xander trailed off, choking on his tears.  Anya gently rubbed his back trying to calm his down.

"From the looks of this letter, it would…it appears that they were, uh…rather close," Giles said.

"But why?" Xander asked.  "Why would Buffy…I mean, why would she do that?  Be writing to Faith and not telling anyone about it?"

"She uh…she must have had her reasons," Giles said, not understanding his Slayer's actions either, though he was not one to judge her for it.

"I can't believe that Buffy would just forgive her like that," Xander said.

"I can," Anya said.

Xander looked at his fiancé with wide eyes.  "Why would she?"

"Well…she forgave Angel, right?  And…and she was letting Spike help her out, and…she and I were kind of friends.  I mean, she's giving demons second chances, so…why wouldn't she forgive Faith?"  Anya asked.

Giles nodded his agreement.  "Anya's right.  Buffy may have been…angry with Faith and rightly so, but…she's not one to hold grudges for long.  As…as the Slayer, she couldn't afford to."  Everyone heard the underlying truth.  Buffy wouldn't have been able to live with herself dying when someone was mad at her.

"I just don't get why she wouldn't have told us," Xander commented.

"Does it matter?" Dawn asked testily. "She forgave her.  And…if Buffy could forgive Faith then…then maybe we should too."

Everyone went silent, a little shocked by Dawn's outburst.  Giles went to say something, but the phone cut him off before he had a chance.  Giles stared at the telephone blankly, as though he had momentarily forgotten what it was there for.

"You gonna answer that mate?" Spike asked, his voice almost gentle, trying not to mock the man that had loved Buffy above everyone else.

Giles snapped out of his trance and picked the phone up.  "Summers' residence," he said, his voice nearly breaking with emotion.  There was only one Summers here now, and she wasn't even a true member.

"That you William?" came the voice from the other end.  "Is Buffy about?"

Giles' mind went blank once more, trying to work out who William was and how to break the news of Buffy's death.

"Who is this?" Giles asked.

"I'm hurt you don't recognise me William," the voice said, laughing a little.  "It's me, Phil.  From the Bronze.  Where Buffy works."

"Oh, uh…right," Giles said, now completely confused.  He looked towards Spike who stared at him intently.  His vampire hearing had heard the other voice on the end.

"That Phil?"

Giles nodded and Spike stood up, taking the phone.

"Phil?  Yeah, it's William.  Sorry about that," Spike said casually.  "What?  No, no…he's not a relative."

Spike listened for a moment and began pacing the little space that the cord of the phone would allow him.

"Look, Phil…I uh…there's something you should know," Spike said, hating that he was so close to tears whilst on the phone.

"Buffy's uh…she was in an accident…a few days ago.  She uh," Spike coughed a little, trying to keep his voice steady.  "She didn't make it."

Spike listened as Phil went quiet and swore under his breath.  He began muttering apologies to Spike, uncertain of what else to say.

"Look, now's really not a good time, but…I'll stop by in a few days, clean out her locker.  Tomorrow maybe," he said.  With that, he hung up the phone and ran a hand through his hair.

"Who's Phil?" Xander asked as Spike took his seat near Dawn.

"Buffy's boss," Spike answered, not bothering to remember that Buffy had never told the group about her job.

"Buffy had a job?" Willow asked incredulously.

Spike nodded and shifted his weight on the couch to make Dawn more comfortable as she curled up next to him.

"Is there anything else she was hiding from us?" Xander asked, almost angrily.

Dawn shook her head, annoyed that Xander was taking all of this so personally.  Spike saw the young girls agitation and hastily spoke up before Dawn had a chance to, figuring he had less to lose for going off at them than Dawn did.

"She suddenly has to tell you lot everything she does?" Spike asked angrily, not even noticing that he was referring to Buffy as though she was still alive.

"Well, it would have been nice to have been kept informed," Xander shot back.

"It wasn't really any of our business," Tara said gently.

Xander looked towards Giles, hoping for back-up.

"You're her Watcher.  Did you have any idea about this?"

Giles shook his head and cleared his throat.  "I uh…I never really thought to ask I suppose."

"How did you think we could still afford everything?" Dawn asked defensively.

She couldn't believe that Buffy's friends were being so selfish.  Her sister was DEAD and all they cared about was the fact that Buffy had kept secrets.

"So, how come evil undead knew and we didn't?" Xander asked.

Spike rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically.

"I saw her working there one night, waiting tables.  We were patrolling and she said she had to go home early, look after the Nibblet.  We went our separate ways, but I headed to the Bronze after I'd finished with the patrolling," Spike explained.  "She was working, but I didn't say anything to her until a week later when she bailed again."

"She stopped her patrolling to go to work?" Giles asked, a little shocked, but non-judgemental all the same.  He understood why Buffy had taken the job, though why she hadn't told him was a little confusing.  Surely she knew he would have understood.

"She knew I'd finish up for her," Spike said.  "And it was only on Friday nights anyway.  She worked during the day Monday to Thursday."

"How did we never see her working there?" Willow wondered.

"She started at twelve thirty and went until about eight in the morning," Dawn said. "She told me that you guys never stayed past about eleven thirty."

"She always left with us though," Willow said.

"Yeah, but she always went patrolling," Anya said.  "She probably just doubled back."

Giles stared thoughtfully at the clock on the wall.  "She was always at training by eight thirty on Saturday morning.  I never gave much though as to why she was so tired though.  Whenever I asked, she just said that she hadn't slept well."

Spike looked towards Dawn and saw her smile tiredly at him. All she wanted was for this day to just end.

The phone rang once more and Giles moved to answer it.

"Summers residence."

"Rupert, is that you?" asked a voice he knew all too well.

"Quentin," he replied, almost growling the name.

"Just thought someone should let you know…a new Slayer's been called."

"What?" Giles asked.  "That's impossible.  A new Slayer was called already when…when Buffy died the first time."

Quentin chuckled a little and Giles was grateful that he wasn't in the same room as the other man, or else he may have been forced to strangle the older Watcher for laughing at such a time.

"It would appear that the uh…somewhat 'rogue' Slayer has…passed on," Quentin said.

"Did…did the Council…"

"No, no," Quentin assured him.  "The Council had no part in her demise.  It was purely by her own hand."

"Faith killed herself?" Giles asked, not believing Quentin's words.

Xander, Willow and Dawn looked up at Giles, shocked by Giles' question.

"Yes it seems so," Quentin said calmly.  "Last night."

Giles went silent for a moment, trying to think before remembering that Quentin was still on the line.  "Well, uh…thank you," Giles said, replacing the receiver into the cradle.

Giles turned to face the others.  "That was Quentin Travers."

"Stodgy Council guy with the bad goatee?" Xander asked.

"Ah, yes.  As you heard…Faith killed herself.  Last night in fact," Giles explained.

"Guess that means there's a new Slayer in town," Spike said.

Giles nodded and took off his glasses, wishing that he didn't have to deal with so much right now.  All he wanted was a stiff drink and to forget everything that he had stored in his memory. It was just too painful to think that his beloved Slayer had passed on.

"Essentially, yes.  I uh…I don't know if she'll be uh…sent to Sunnydale, but…I'm assuming that she will eventually come here if she's needed," Giles said.

Dawn yawned tiredly and Spike gave her a gentle nudge.  "Bedtime for you Nibblet," he whispered.

Dawn nodded and stood up, giving a weak nod to the group to say goodnight.  Spike stood up and walked her to her room, sitting beside her bed until she finally slept.

~*~

Wesley knocked hesitantly on the Summer's front door, waiting for it to be opened. He was holding a small shoebox, filled with envelopes and letters, as well as small knick-knacks that Faith had collected over a period of a year and a half.

The door opened and Wesley found himself eye-to-eye with a grief stricken Giles. 

Giles closed his eyes momentarily and stood aside to allow Wesley to come in.

Wesley took a seat in the living room, noticing how silent the house was.  It was eerie and uncomfortable, and so obviously a house of mourning.

"What brings you here Wesley?" Giles asked kindly.

Wesley held out the shoebox to him.  "This was…it was all of Faith's belongings.  She uh…she left a note that said everything was to go to you, because…well…the letter's in here are from…"

"From Buffy, I know," Giles said, his voice breaking with emotion as he said his Slayer's name.  He sat down opposite Wesley.

Wesley nodded and let Giles take the box from him.

"There's also a note from…from Faith.  Addressed to you," Wesley said hesitantly.

"To me?" Giles asked.

Wesley nodded and handed Giles another piece of folded up note paper.  Giles took it hesitantly and unfolded it.  He recognised the writing from the letter that Faith had written to Buffy.

Dear Giles,

I know you never wanna hear from me again, and I can't blame you for that, but there's still some things that need to be said.

I'm so sorry about how all of this turned out.  I can't help but feel that in some ways, some of this is my fault.  Maybe if I hadda been there beside her, she woulda been able to tell you this herself.

I've never met anyone like Buffy, never in my life.  She forgave without rhyme or reason, and sometimes, she shouldn't have forgiven some people at all.  Like me.  She shouldn't have forgiven me, but…when she did, I can honestly say that I have never felt more relieved in my life.

Of all the people I've ever screwed over, I know I hurt her the most.  We were the same, Buffy and I.  We knew what it was like to have to do things that we didn't particularly want to do, but with her at my side, I felt like I could do anything.  I wish I hadn't forgotten that.

She knew what it was like to have to give things up.  So…that's what I'm doing.  Giving myself up.  Just like she did.  Course, she was saving the world, and…I'm just giving you a new Slayer.

I once told Buffy that she couldn't save the world in jail, and…I guess I was right.  I can't do anything from in here, so, all I can do is give you someone who can.  I hope the next one doesn't turn out as screwed up as I did.

I'm sorry that I never got to apologise in person, but…I hope you can forgive me for everything I ever did to you.  Every letter B ever sent me is in this box.  Whatever you decide to do with it…well, it's yours now.

She wanted you to know…she loved you to the very end.  Even after suggesting to hurt Dawn, she loved you anyway.  I wish I had someone love me as wholly as she loved you.  I guess now I'll never know.

Stay safe G. 

Faith.

Giles looked up at Wesley who gave a weak smile.  "She knew about Buffy?"

Wesley nodded.  "Angel went and spoke to her," he explained.  "He didn't think that Faith would commit suicide when he went there.  He just knew that Buffy had kept in contact with Faith, and…he thought that Faith should be informed."

Giles nodded and stared down at the box.

"Anyway, I should get going.  I just…I felt I needed to give this to you in person," Wesley explained.

"Yes…thank you," Giles said softly.

"I'll let myself out," Wesley said, leaving the older Watcher to sort through everything that the note from Faith had said.

Out of sheer curiosity, he had read the note and had been startled to say the least to read about Buffy's feelings for her Watcher.  Although he had often wondered about the close relationship between the two of them, it had never seemed to be of a romantic inclination.  Perhaps he had been wrong after all.

Giles could only look at the words of the letter in front of him. 

'She loved you to the very end.'

A tear fell from his eyes, splashing silently onto the paper in front of him.  He wiped his eyes hastily and folded the letter.  He opened the shoebox Wesley had given him, astounded to see the sheer multitude of letters that Buffy and Faith had exchanged.

They were neatly organised by their dates, some of the envelopes considerably more tattered than the others, but Giles could tell that Faith had been taking care of them.

He picked up the first letter and began to read.