...Love fades, mine has... Love fades, mine has... Love fades, mine has... Love fades, mine has...

How could I do that to her? How could I destroy the one person who never gave up on me, even when I was an undead, loveless, evil monster, she still held hope that I could be bought back. Even after I tried to awaken her, to make her just as evil as the ones we spent our lives training to destroy, she still held onto the old me. She was able to do the impossible because she loved me. She believed in me, she never stopped believing. And even after everything I did to her she still loved me...

Love fades, mine has...

I can still see the betrayal and the pain that had been so evident on her face when I spoke those words. She was always so strong, so composed. Her emotions were never written on her face so clearly like that. When I crushed the hope that she had of getting me back I broke her heart into millions of little pieces that she may never be able to fix... What have I done?

Am I really so broken beyond repair that I could push away the one person who stuck by me, when everyone else believed me to be dead she did the impossible. Her love for me kept her going. She literally hunted for me across the world, she did everything she could to help me... and I turned away from her. Instead of running into her arms I stubbornly pushed her away. I believed myself to be unworthy because of what I had done to her in Russia... but this is so much worse...

I was a monster then, I was a soulless, uncaring monster and she forgave me for it... But now Im back, Im me again and I still managed to hurt her... With those four words I was able to break her worse than I had as a strigoi. There was no excuse, no forgiveness for what I have done.

"Dimitri... shes gone."

I looked up into the pained, jade green eyes of Queen Vasilisa Dragomir. Her fear and concern was written across her face in streaks of tears and mascara. Her fiancee, Lord Christian Ozera stood protectively beside her, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist as he tried in vain to comfort her. I could see worry etched on his face as well, a deep brotherly concern for his now missing friend.

I had already known she left, I had seen the decision to run in her deep brown eyes right before she had fled from the church, fled from me. Even after everything that we had been through I could still read her like an open book...

"Gone? As in left court?" I asked, barely able to find my voice. Though I already knew that she had, it didnt stop the pain of my heart clenching as Lissa nodded in confirmation.

"I found a letter on my desk signed by her... it was her resignation as my guardian." Her lips trembled and her voice cracked with the emotions she was trying so hard to hold back. "Why would she leave me..." She whispered barely audibly.

Should I tell her? Should I admit that its all my fault, its because of me that her best friend has abandoned her...again...

"You have to go after her. You have to find her and bring her back. Youre the only one she would listen to Dimitri." She spoke abruptly, her voice was steadily rising with each word until she was almost yelling. It tore at me even more seeing the look of hope and desperation on her face.

"I... I cant." I spoke, averting my eyes down to the ground in shame.

"What? No. You have to, you have to go right now!" She practically screamed, waving her arms before finally pointing at the main door.

I took a deep breath, "I cant because she wont listen to me. Its my fault shes gone." I didnt mean to sound as harsh as I did, and I knew as I looked up at her that my tone had been like a slap in the face. Her jade eyes had hardened and she was scrutinizing my face closely.

"What do you mean its your fault? What happened?" She asked quietly. She took a step towards me, her petite hand resting on my shoulder. I turned my head to look the other way, I couldnt stand to see whatever reaction she had to my next words. I tried my hardest to control my emotions, feeling the pain welling up in my chest ready to explode at any moment.

"I told her I didnt..." the dam burst in my chest, a sob choked in my throat and I felt the tears welling in my eyes. "I told her I didnt love her, I said Love fades, mine has."

I heard two sharp intakes of breath and then there was an echoing crack. My head snapped sharply to the left and a stinging in my check told me what I didnt need to see. Lissa had slapped me. Hard.

"You liar! How could you do that! You had to have known what would happen, you knew how she would take that! After everything she has done for you this is how you repay her!" She was screaming at me as I just sat there and took everything I deserved, barely flinching at the accusing tone. Because I knew that I deserved it, and much more. "I know that was a lie, I know you still love her so as your Queen I am ordering you to go and find her, go and apologize to her and tell her the truth! You bring her back you idiot!" She growled at me folding her arms across her chest and glaring at me.

"What if she doesnt want to? What if she doesnt listen to me and doesnt want to come back?" I asked.

"Then neither do you."

My eyes widdened and my jaw dropped slightly as I stared at her in shock. She was going to banish me?

"Oh dont look at me like that. Im doing this for you, and for her. You two need eachother. I didnt realise how completely in love you two were untill you were taken and Rose up and left. Dimitri she chose you over me, her sister, her best friend. I had been so hurt by her leaving me that I didnt give much thought to how she was feeling, to how completely broken she was without you. I wasnt there for her when she needed me then but I sure as hell am not going to make that same mistake again. Now, shes forgiven you for everything that happened so its obvious that she loves you a hell of a lot so you need to get over your little pity party and forgive yourself. Dimitri you need to accept that she needs you and you need her."

I hadnt even realised I had tears streaming down my cheeks untill she handed me a napkin. The smallest smile tugging at her lips. "Nobody likes seeing a man cry. Now, you do still love her right?" She asked raising one perfect blonde eyebrow.

I nodded in confirmation as I wiped my face.

"More than anything." I answered.

"Then get off your ass and go find her, bring her back where she belongs." She commanded pointing at the door again.

I sat in the drivers seat of the honda, gripping the stearing wheel trying to determine where she would go. I had already called her phone 7 times in the last 5 minutes, everytime it went straight to voicemail which told me it was either turned off or the battery had died.

Finally I decided rather than sitting in the garage trying to think, I would be better off actually going out there and hoping I could run into her. She'd had atleast 3 hours head start but surely couldnt have gotten too far...

"Guardian Belikov, where are you off to in such a hurry?" Mikhail asked as I reached the main gates.

"Did guardian Hathaway leave through here?" I asked.

He flicked back over a page on his clipboard and scanned down the list with his finger. "mmmm yes, she left about 2 hours ago in a hurry, she said it was an urgent errand for the queen, she hasnt returned yet."

So she shouldnt be as far ahead as I thought. I thanked Mikhail as he opened the gate and I sped through and headed down the only road coming and going from court. I was so focused on driving and scanning the area that it wasnt until a half hour later that I realised the radio station playing loudly in my ear wasnt my usual one, in fact it was one of Roses favourite stations.

I paid attention just as the radio announcer spoke. "That song was dedicated to Ashley from Ben with the message 'Forever and always baby.' awww isnt that sweet!" His voice was all too cheery for my taste. "If you have a dedication then call us and well make it happen."

Thats it. If she was still driving then she should have the radio on. I knew it was a long shot but I had to try, so I dialed the station and got through. The announcer took my message and informed me it should be playing within the next 15 minutes, I only hoped that wasnt too late and that she would be listening.

I planted my foot as I continued to scan the area, still seeing no sign of her my heart clenched in pain. How could I drive away the one person who never gave up on me. I was an idiot for believing I didnt deserve her, that I didnt want her love. I needed it. I needed my Roza beside me for the rest of my life, I couldnt let her go. If only I had realised it sooner none of this would be happening and we would be happy. I could work at forgiving myself for my past as long as she stood beside me through it, I still needed her in my life.

My heart thudded in my chest as I heard the announcer on the radio.

"This next one almost broke my heart, This song is dedicated to Rose from Dimitri with the message that 'Hes sorry, he didnt mean it and that he needs you back.' I dont know what he did, but he sounded devastated so Rose if youre listening, atleast call him."

"Lights out and it's cold now
And there's nothing but an empty room in front of me
I'm wiped out and the line's down
And there's no sound like there used to be with you and me.

Can't sleep tonight
Keep on wondering why
I didn't see the signs, I didn't realise
Now I'm frozen
I had it all
Couldn't want anymore, more
But everything's stolen.

And now I realize I could have been a better man
I took it all for granted when I should have took your hand
You were the only thing I needed but I couldn't see
Just look around, there's nothing left of me
Everything's stolen, stolen, yeah
Everything's stolen, stolen, yeah

Words out, I won't stand down
Got your face up now on every wall of every street
I retrace every step I made back to
The place where it used to be, you and me.

I had it all couldn't want anymore, more
But everything's stolen.

And now I realize I could have been a better man
I took it all for granted when I should have took your hand
You were the only thing I needed but I couldn't see
Just look around, there's nothing left of me
Everything's stolen, stolen, yeah
Everything's stolen, stolen, yeah

I was still speeding, making the car go as fast as it possibly could hoping to see some sign of where she went when I spotted a petrol station, I glanced at the fuel gauge and groaned, it was almost on empty. I pounded the steering wheel as I was forced to slow the car down.
There was only one other car at the garage, I didnt pay it much attention as I screeched to a stop and practically ripped the door off as I raced inside to pay for the gas as the attendant started pumping it. As I spoke to the man at the counter and basically threw my money at him I Couldnt stop thinking about Roza getting further and further away from me. It felt like a race against time that I was desperately losing.

I raced back out to my car and just as I pulled on the door handle I heard the sound of a door opening and the song Id requested suddenly getting louder behind me...

"I knew you had to leave me
But that don't make it easy, no no
When everything is stolen.
You were the best of us
Gave me all you had but I messed it up
You were the best of us
Gave me all you had but I messed it up
You were the best of us
Gave me all you had but I messed it up
Gave me all you had.

Oh oh yeah

I turned my head slightly, just glancing at the car behind me, taking it in for the first time. It was a large, sleek black SUV. All of its windows were tinted and I realised with a start that the number plate was that of a court issued SUV...

"And now I realize I could have been a better man
I took it all for granted when I should have took your hand
You were the only thing I needed but I couldn't see
Just look around, there's nothing left of me
Everything's stolen, stolen, yeah
Everything's stolen, stolen, yeah

I knew you had to leave me
But that don't make it easy, no no
When everything is stolen.
You were the best of us
Gave me all you had but I messed it up
You were the best of us
Gave me all you had but I messed it up"

"Roza..." I breathed out as my eyes locked on her face. She stood infront of me, her hand resting on the door of the SUV. She had never looked more beautiful standing there in her faded light blue jeans and deep purple tank top, her siky dark brown hair fell over her shoulders in soft curls and my desire to run my fingers through the silkiness was almost crippling.

"Comrade..." She murmured. It was then that I noticed her deep, mesmerising eyes were puffy and glistening with tears as her bottom lip trembled.

"Roza Im so sorry, I didnt mean it. I was lying. I never meant to hurt you, I thought it was best but I was wrong. Please forgive me, I know I dont deserve it but I am so, so sorry. I still love you, I always have and I always will." I spoke in such a rush that I almost didnt understand what I was saying myself as the words tumbled out.

I watched as she slowly shook her head, she clenched her eyes closed as she struggled internally. I almost fell to my knees in defeat as I realised she may have given up on me... after everything that I had put her through, this was the last straw and she had finally given up. I had lost her.
"Im sorry, Im so, so, so sorry. I dont deserve your forgiveness, and I dont expect it. I understand..." I spoke in defeat, my voice was low and rough with the whirlwind of emotions raging in my mind.

I closed my eyes to stop the tears that were welling in them from falling free. I didnt want her to see just how hurt I was. I had to lean on my car for a bit of support, my knees wanting to give out under the crushing pain I felt. I almost jumped out of my skin in surprise as I felt her body crash against mine, her arms wrapped around my neck tightly. I instinctively wrapped my own around her waist and buried my face in her hair, inhaling the sweet, tantalising smell of her vanilla and lavender shampoo.
"Я люблю Вас мой Roza, я так сожалею всем о, я так сожалею, пожалуйста, пожалуйста простите меня моя любовь." ("I love you my Roza, I am so sorry for everything, I am so sorry, please, please forgive me my love") I murmured softly over and over again.

Her voice was soft and I had to strain to hear her, "Comrade. After everything thats happened, I forgave you for it all... but you were a monster, you couldnt help doing what you did so it was easy to forgive... but this... what you said? You were back to yourself, you were you... its not that easy...its going to take time... but I still love you, I always will" She mumbled against my neck, having nuzzled her face into the crook.

I clutched her tighter against me as she spoke the words I had feared she would never say again. She still loved me. She loves me. I inhaled deeply, memorising her scent, and the feel of her body against mine. It was like finally coming home, I finally felt complete again having her in my arms.

I placed a few soft kisses against the smooth skin of her neck, making my way up and along her jaw line. As I pulled back I cupped her face in my hands, looking into her deep, dark chocolate eyes I could see so many emotions, happiness, joy, a hint of pain lingering but the most prominient one of all was love. I realised in that moment exactly what she had done when she had set out to save me.

She had left her life behind, everything she knew and everyone she loved. She had left them all to hunt me down and fullfill a silent, unspoken promise we had both made to eachother. She had traveled halfway across the world, battled countless strigoi, faced my family and the pain of telling them what happened to me... She had done so much... and it was all for me, because she loved me.

I placed a kiss on her forhead, "I love you so much Roza, I promise I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and showing you exactly how much I truely love you and am greatful for everything youve done."

She placed her warm hand over mine and leaned into my touch, "As long as we are together Its all I want." She murmured before I leaned in and brushed my lips against hers in a sweet, tender kiss, trying to convey in that simple gesture just how much she meant to me.

When she pulled back and looked up at me, I saw a flash of concern in her eyes before she reached out and gently ran her fingers over my cheek as she spoke,"What happened?"

I was confused for a moment before I realised she was tracing the mark Lissa had left on my cheek from her slap. I smiled sheepishly before replying.

"Your best friend has a wicked back hand."

"Lissa did that? Holy shit." She chuckled, it was like music to my ears.

"Yeah, she was the one who kind of knocked some sense back into me."

"Well, remind me to thank her when we get back... oh and Comrade?"

"Yeah?"

She blushed a little, making her cheeks turn just slightly red, "Thankyou for the song, it was sweet."

"Anything for you my Roza." I smiled at her before capturing her lips in another, slightly more heated kiss.