A/N: ...I was at school, and my teacher said that she had gotten out the "fun scissors," meaning the ones that make designs when you cut with them...and I immediately thought of Vincent...and here's the (kinda cracky) result. I was smiling stupidly while writing this...

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pandora Hearts

Once upon a time, Vincent Nightray was walking around town. He was out and about not because it was a beautiful day, although it was, or because he had been kicked out of the house, which he most certainly hadn't, but because his beloved older brother Gilbert was going to be visiting later that day. He rarely visited the Nightray household, so this was a very special occasion! Vincent was going to get a very specific cake, a cake he knew had been Gil's favorite since before he was born. (Their mother had eaten it once while Gil was still in her womb, and as soon as Gil was born he let her know that that one cake had been particularly enjoyable.)

Vincent came upon a small shop with a sign reading "Stuff to Put You on a Sugar High R'US." This is the place! he thought happily.

As he made to enter, however, he collided with another man who was just leaving, causing the man to drop the numerous packages of candy he was carrying. The silver-head glared at him, then smiled, made a witty remark, picked up his candy, and left.

Vincent paid no mind to him; this was how a typical meeting with the Hatter went. Making sure he knew exactly what to request, Vincent entered the store and told the woman behind the counter which cake he wanted...a cake which he very quickly received, not so much because the woman was great at her job as because he had been forced to threaten her on his last trip to this shop, and the woman didn't want to take any chances. Vincent thanked her, chipper in his excitement for the day, and turned to leave.

He was just outside the door when a voice stopped him.

"Psst..."

He turned to see who it was. A dark hood was peeking out of a dark alleyway just a few feet away. A hand reached out and beckoned him closer.

Vincent didn't hesitate. In the past, he probably would have, as he was clearly a good little boy and had always been taught not to talk to suspicious characters. But he had cleverly found a loophole in that, if he was a suspicious character himself, other people wouldn't be nearly as suspicious by comparison, and therefore he could talk to them! Secure in his logic, he trotted over to the alley and slipped around the corner.

His eyes were met with the blade of a scissor, pointed not an inch from his face.

Any normal person would be quite alarmed at this, but I'm sure every reader knows that our favorite blonde psychopath is by no means a normal person, especially when it comes to dual-bladed craft utensils. So instead of jumping back in alarm, Vincent merely looked quizzically at the dark-cloaked figure whom was weilding the weapon.

"You like scissors, don't you?"

Vincent stared at the figure blankly.

Said figure cocked its head to the side, face veiled by shadow. "I said, 'you like scissors, don't you?'"

Vincent's eyes narrowed. "I didn't know that was common knowledge..."

Dark-cloak shrugged. "It isn't. The spirits of darkness told me through my curse doll..." It held up a yellow cat puppet with its free hand, whom waved shyly.

Vincent disregarded the puppet with a glance and focused his gaze on the blade point. "Yes, I'm fond of them. What about it?"

Cloaky jabbed the scissors further in his direction. "Take them."

Unsure of the person's motives, but seeing no reason not to comply, Vincent reached out and slowly took the scissors, eyes now trained on the figure. Señor Figure nodded briskly and, without another word, vanished into thin air.

Now Vincent sat at home, pondering what to do with his new scissors. Upon closer inspection, he had noticed something very interesting about them: the blades had little squiggly edges, like wave crests on the sea. This sparked curiousity in him. Would this little detail affect how they cut?

He needed to test them. After all, there was still some time to kill before Gil was to arrive...and what better way to kill it than with scissors?

But what to test them on? He didn't much feel like going down to the rose garden, and had gotten in trouble last time he tried to use his scissors on Echo. So, that left his usual victims: his stuffed animals.

Vincent flopped back on his bed, sending stray tufts of pillow fluff into the air. He caught one and speared it on the tip of his weapon. Then he grabbed the nearest plush thing available - a grey rabbit, miraculously completely intact - stabbed one blade through its belly, and began to cut.

The result was awe-inspiring.

Instead of a straight line, or even a jagged tear, the scissors left a squiggly trail behind!

Fascinated, Vincent snipped off the rabbit's arm. It happened again! The severed limb was rimmed with little waves!

Vincent had always thought scissors could only cut straight lines unless you twisted them around with your hand. But, behold! These were making a design all on their own! Giddy with childish pleasure, Vincent cut the rabbit again and again. More and more squiggly lines appeared on its body. It was so beautiful...!

After a few minutes of this, the rabbit was little more than a few scraps of fabric and thread. Vincent's chest was littered with fluffy white insides. He giggled and tossed the mangled doll aside, where it slid off the bed and added to the mess on the floor. He liked these scissors. He'd have to thank that suspicious figure if he ever ran into it again...

He rolled over onto his side and glanced at a clock in the corner. Still about 20 minutes 'til Gil would arrive...Vincent couldn't wait to show him his new scissors! He new that his brother did not always show pleasure towards that sort of thing, but Vincent didn't mind. Any reaction Gil had was the best reaction. And Vincent knew that Gil really did like his little brother's antics, he was just shy~

Mind buzzing with thoughts of his brother, Vincent gazed down at the pile of mutilated animals on the bedroom floor. He prodded them lazily with the blade point. He'd have to get the maids to buy him more dolls... Then, his eyes locked on a stuffed raven. He picked it up and stared at it.

Suddenly, he had the most brilliant idea ever.

Gilbert Nightray stood on the front stoop of Nightray manor and rung the doorbell. He had just come back from attending a Holy Knight convention with Oz. He hadn't even known those things existed. Much less that Oz had a cosplay outfit of Edgar...in any case, it was almost a relief to be visiting his somewhat dysfunctional family. Not that Elliot and Leo really talked to him that much.

The door swung open, and Gil had the intuition to step to the side just as his brother flew out in an attempt to glomp him. Vincent stumbled past, then turned with a slight pout. However, this was quickly replaced with a grin, and he grabbed Gil's hand and dragged him inside.

"H-hi, Vince..." Gil said between stumblings.

Once inside, Vincent let go of his hand and wrapped his arms around his brother with a childish smile. "Yay~! Gil's finally here!"

Gil smiled slightly. "Yeah, I can't stay for long though, Oz is trapped in-"

"Come on, I got you cake~!" Vincent cut him off and flounced toward the kitchen, not the least bit interested in whatever Oz was doing. As far as he was concerned, Oz could stay trapped. Forever.

"Uhm...thanks..." Gil followed him to the kitchen. Vincent thrust a small box reading 'eat me :)' at his chest. Gil took it, opened it, and smiled slightly. He wasn't sure how Vincent knew his favorite cake, seeing as he had never told him, and frankly he didn't really want to know, but it was a nice gesture all the same.

"Gil, Gil! Sit down!" Vincent ushered him forcefully into a random chair, almost causing Gilbert to drop his cake. Then the blonde ran out of the room, returning a few minutes later with something held behind his back. He smiled enticingly. "I have a surpriiiiise for yoooouuu~"

Out from behind him he drew a large stuffed animal - a raven. The doll had squiggly incisions running down the sides of what was left of its head, and a slash through its chest.

"Look Gil! It's you!"

Somewhere in another mansion, Mrs. Kate sat in a dramatic red plush chair in front of a dramatically crackling fireplace, stroking a purring Dinah dramatically. A black cloak and yellow cat puppet lay discarded at her feet. Mrs. Kate looked at Dinah with an evil grin. "Everything is going according to plan, my sweet Dinah...everything according to plan..."

A/N: What is Mrs. Kate planning? The world may never know O.o

And yes, she was the figure and yes, she was disguised as Nekozawa.

Teh end~