This took a long time to write, coming up with jokes that are on par with the original jokes that are in this episode was a bit of a challenge, and I hope I managed to deliver!

I wish I could say that many interesting things happened in my presence. I wish I could say that I was with Sokka when he freed not only his father, but Suki too when he ran away with Zuko. I wish I could say I accompanied Katara and the prince when they left to find her mother's killer or helped him to get his Fire Bending back. Heck, I wish I went on a field trip with the guy, I wish I had some kind of emotional baggage he could have helped me with, but unfortunately that was not the case.

I was not there when Sokka left to save his father, I was sleeping. I was not there when Katara left to find the man she hated most, I was sleeping. I did not go with Aang to help Zuko regain his Fire Bending, you can probably guess why.

Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was thrown onto Appa's saddle while I was snoozing one night, and suddenly we are flying to a place call Ember Island. Zuko assured us that it was a safe place where we could rest, get food that was not rice, and train before the final battle with the Fire Lord.

We touched down near a giant beach house, taking great care to avoid being seen by the locals that populated the island. It actually looked like a normal residence (well, a rich residence), however the place seemed like it had been abandoned years ago. After unpacking our stuff and settling in, Zuko and Aang gathered onto the properties courtyard to practice their Fire Bending.

It was really astounding to see how good Aang had gotten in just a few days, he was able to mimic Zuko's movements with near perfection, and his flames were both strong and controlled. After doing their little routine, they bowed and approached Katara, Toph and I.

"Don't you think hiding out in the Fire Lord's own house is a little weird?" Katara asked. Ever since her outing with Zuko, she seems to have accepted him as being part of the group.

"My father hasn't come here since my family was actually happy, and that was a long time ago," Zuko replied, looking at the plants that were growing on the wood of the house.

"You guys are not going to believe this!" Sokka exclaimed, running towards us, Suki was close behind. "There's a play about us!"

Suki stepped forward. "We were in town when we found this poster!" On cue, Sokka pulled out the poster, showing it to us. It depicted Katara, Sokka and Aang all standing in ready positions, and the glaring eyes of Zuko in the background.

"Oh god this looks awful," I muttered. I studied the image a little longer. "Where am I?"

Sokka turned the poster around and studied the image for a moment, then looked at me and shrugged. I sighed in disappointment. "Well then what's it say?" I asked.

Sokka cleared his throat and began to read. "The Boy in the Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pooh Won Tin, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war and a surprisingly knowledgeable cabbage merchant,"

"You literally had me until that last bit," I said.

"It's by the Ember Island Players," Suki added.

Zuko gave off a loud sigh. "My mother use to take us to see them, they butchered Love Amongst the Dragons every year,"

"I'm liking the sound of this less and less," Katara frowned. "Besides, is it even a bright idea to attend a play about us?"

"Why not!?" Sokka cried. "This is the perfect thing to do to relax!"

So that night, we were off to see the Ember Island Players. The theatre was overlooking the ocean and the sky had turned into a dark blue. Clouds covered the stars, making the burning lamps glow even brighter. Inside, the theatre was bustling with activity. Many of the residents of the island had decided to attend the play, so it was a good thing that we all still had our Fire Nation outfits. Zuko wore a hood to hide his scar, and Aang wore a...very silly hat to hide his arrow.

We ended up sitting in a balcony high above the stage. I was sitting next to Sokka and Suki, while Toph, Katara, Aang and Zuko sat in the front. Aang was clearly bothered that it was Zuko who sat next to Katara, but he decided not to make a scene of it and simply slouched in front of me. The lights dimmed and soon, the play began

The curtains rose to reveal an icy landscaped background and two actors on a boat cut-out pretending to be rowing against equally fake waves. They wore blue costumes, one was a fat girl and the other was a skeletal boy with large teeth. I let out a chuckle. Sokka leaned forward and grabbed his sister on the shoulder. They were both smiling and nodding to one another.

"Sokka, my only brother, we constantly roam these South Pole seas, and yet never do we find anything fulfilling," The woman sighed dramatically.

"Oh boy, it's gonna be that kind of play," I whispered into Suki's ear. The girl shot me a quizzical look, and I simply pointed towards the stage.

"All I want is a full feeling in my stomach, I'm starving!" The boy exclaimed, looking at the audience with a large smile. The audience laughed, but our balcony was dead silent. Katara and Sokka's smiles were whipped off their faces, and replaced by confused frowns.

"Never mind, it's going to be worse," I moaned in pain.

"Is food the only thing on your mind?"

"Well, I'm trying to get it out of my mind, and into my mouth, I'm starving!" Again, the audience laughed at the false Sokka's joke. We however cringed.

"This is pathetic! My jokes are way funnier than this!" Sokka angrily whispered to all of us. Toph gave off a small laugh.

"I think he's got you pegged," The Earth Bender laughed.

"Everyday the world awaits for a beacon to guide us, yet none appears! Still, we cannot give up hope, for hope is all we have! And we must never relinquish it!" The false Katara began to whimper. "Even to our dying breath!" She began to wail, her voice felt like nails being driven into my ears.

"Well that's just silly, I don't sound like that," Katara mumbled. Sokka and Suki began laughing behind her. I coughed to get her attention.

"I don't know, you did make that speech about hope that one time and-" Katara's growl interrupted me. "I'm just saying," I sighed, lifting my arms up into a shrug. Sokka laughed some more.

Suddenly, a blue light shined, and a fake iceberg with a silhouette that looked like Aang rolled onto the set. The two actors gasped and turned towards the prop that was behind them.

"It appears to be someone frozen in ice!" The false Katara said. "Perhaps for a hundred years!"

"How do you know that?" I whispered to my friends. "Did you read the script? Is that the script floating on that wave over there?" I got some giggles out of my friends.

"Who is the boy in the iceberg!?" The Sokka asked. Aang sat forward, I could sense his excitement.

"WATER BEND! HYAH!" The Katara gave a karate chop in the direction of the prop, which caused it to crack. Steam billowed around the set, and someone jumped out from behind the prop, helped by wires. It was a bald girl, who was dressed just like Aang. The Avatar's shoulder fell a few inches, and I could hear his internal gasp of horror. I decided to pour salt into the wound.

"Aang, why are you so hot?" I whispered into his ear. He turned to face me, then back to the stage, and then back at me. He threw his arms up in silent frustration, getting some laughs from the others.

"Who are you?" The false Katara asked the female Aang.

"I'm the Avatar, silly! Here to spread joy and fun!" She twirled and posed, smiling brilliantly.

"Why am I a girl!?" Aang demanded to know.

"A very cute one on top of that," I added.

"WHY!?" Aang hissed.

A large fake Appa jumped from behind the iceberg, causing a few of the audience members to jump. It roared and ran around the stage for a few minutes before disappearing off stage.

"An Air Bender!" The false Katara gasped. "My heart is so full of hope, that it's making me Tear Bend!" She got down on her knees and held onto the false Avatar's leg, crying.

"My stomach is so empty that it's making me Tear Bend too!" The false Sokka joined his sister in the crying, getting a few laughs from the audience. Toph was also laughing, she was clearly enjoying this far too much.

The scene changed, and this time it was of a boat. On the boat was a large fat man dressed like royalty, and a surprisingly good replica of Zuko from back when he was banished.

"Prince Zuko, you must try dis cake," The fat man smiled, holding a large cake towards the false prince who was overlooking the sea with a telescope.

"I don't have time to stuff my face, I must capture the Avatar to regain my HONOUR!" The Zuko exclaimed.

"While you do that, maybe I'll capture another slice!" The fat man started to eat the cake greedily, getting a disgusted growl from the false prince.

"You disgust me!"

"They make me look totally stiff and humourless," Zuko complained. Katara shot him a smile.

"Actually, I think that actor is pretty spot on," She replied.

Zuko turned towards her desperately. "How can you say that!?"

Back on the stage, the fat man approached the false prince. "Let's forget about the Avatar and get massages!"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?" The false Zuko cried.

Katara's smile widened, and Zuko shrunk into his seat.

The next scene took place on what looked like an Air Temple. The three spouted some more terrible dialogue about hope and meat, but what happen half way through the scene really bothered me, and to this day, it still bugs me.

A large object floated down from the stop of the set, and out of the large round circular object descended a green person wearing what looked like multicoloured clothing. Everyone turned towards me, I was suddenly very nervous.

"What is that!?" The false Sokka exclaimed, pointing at the multicoloured man walking towards the other actors.

"Please don't be me, please don't be me," I prayed, knowing that it would be futile.

"Greetings earthlings," The man replied in a monotone, almost robotic voice. "I am F-R-3-D, you can call me Fred for short,"

My friends all burst out howling in laughter. My face turned into a bright shade of red.

"What are you?" The false Aang asked.

"I am an alien from a distant world, my ship has been damaged and it requires repairs, shall I accompany you and completely forget about my want to return home?" The...me asked.

Toph started to laugh and was about to say something when I quickly snapped "Shut up, Toph!"

"I guess that could be fun," The fake Aang smiled.

"Brilliant, allow me to demonstrate my highly advanced technology that I shall only use this one time," the false me pulled out a ray gun and shot the ship that was behind him. The ship fell apart and a large BOOM resonated in the theatre.

"Are you really an alien?" Suki asked me, getting some giggles from my other friends.

"NO!" I almost screamed. "It's not like that at all!"

"They got your clothes down," Katara laughed.

"NO THEY DIDN'T!" I replied, yelling. I could feel something was wrong. I looked down at the theatre, and saw all of the audience's gazes focused on me. "Uh...Sorry!" I cried, sitting down and ducking my head.

The following scenes showcase poor representations of our adventures. There was one in which the false me tried to collect Momo as a "sample" for testing, another in which Sokka was training with the Kyoshi Warriors and even a part with Bumi from Omashu.

Eventually, the false me had this to say. "I shall now sit in the background and monitor everything for research purposes, I shall not help you anymore on your journey," I slapped my forehead and cursed. Toph laughed.

After nearly an hour, the first act of the play concluded with the invasion of the North Pole. Aang turned into a giant fish and started to stomp on some fake boats, crying in glee. We quickly got out of our seats and met up outside, sitting on a balcony overlooking the water. We were clearly all disturbed by what we have been witnessing in that awful play.

"So far, this intermission is the best part of the play," Zuko sighed.

"Agreed," I nodded miserably. "Who's idea was it to come here again?" We all turned to face Sokka.

"Hey, I'm suffering here too!" He cried. "Apparently I'm an idiot who spends all his time making bad jokes about meat!"

"Yeah, you make bad jokes about plenty of other topics," Suki smiled.

"I know!" Sokka agreed.

"At least the Sokka actor kinda looks like you," Aang mumbled. "That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all!"

"I don't know, you are more in touch with you feminine side than most guys," Toph smiled.

"Is it wrong for me to think the Aang actress is cute?" I asked. Everyone had a small laugh, well, everyone except Aang.

"But in all seriousness, who in the world said I was an alien from outer space who dresses like a rainbow and talks like a robot and spends all his time observing things and being useless all the time?" I wondered.

"You did complain for a while about being useless," Katara reminded me.

"And you do seem to intently focus on everything around you, almost like you plan to record it later in a book or something," Sokka added.

"I hate you all so much right now," I mumbled.

"Relax, they are not accurate portrayals, it's not like I'm a preachy cry-baby who gives speeches about hope all the time," Katara said. We all turned to face her, giving her hard stares. "What?" She asked.

"Yeah, that's not you at all," Aang said sarcastically as he turned away from her.

"Listen friends, it's obvious that the playwright did his research," Toph said, leaning against a post.

"At no point did I ever show up in a spaceship, how is that an accurate portrayal?" I asked.

"What you all see up there, is the truth, hurts doesn't it?" Toph smiled wickedly.

"I don't have green skin either," I mumbled.

We made our way back into the theatre, it was not Toph's reveal. The actors that portrayed Aang, Katara, Sokka and I were standing in a representation of the area in which Toph lived.

"Here we are in the Earth Kingdom!" False Katara announced.

"I'd better fly around and look for an Earth Bending teacher!" The fake Aang exclaimed, pulling out a little baby sized glider. Seriously, she was really cute despite her baldness. Anyway, she flew around over the audience for a bit then landed in front of the other actors. "I searched everywhere, but I couldn't find a single Earth Bending master!"

Drums began to roll and a large boulder that was on the set began to rise. "You can't find an Earth Bending master in the sky, you have to look underground!" A large bulky man rose from behind the boulder and threw it aside effortlessly. We all started to laugh at the reveal.

"Wait, I sound like a guy," Toph angled her ears towards the stage. "A very buff guy,"

"What you hear up there is the truth, hurts doesn't it?" Katara asked, throwing Toph's earlier words back at her.

"I wouldn't have cast it any other way!" The Earth Bender smiled.

"That large man-girl is a perfect specimen similar to the healthiest and most beautiful women from my planet, I wish to marry her-him," The false me said.

My balcony erupted into a cacophony of laughter. Toph had her mouth open into a horrific expression and I just sat there quietly. I could tell that my face was expressionless, however it felt like I was going to break my teeth because my jaw was clenched so tightly.

"And who is it that has said those wonderful words?" The man supposed to be Toph asked. He pretended to look around, then gave off a giant yell in the direction of the other actors. Everyone in the theatre cringed at the impossibly loud yell.

"What was that?" the fake Sokka asked.

"I don't see the way you do, so I release a sonic wave from my mouth, and I say, that man back there really does strike my fancy," The man Toph walked over to the false me and held him up in the air. "My name is Toph, sugar bun, because I'm tough,"

"This is the happiest day in my life," The false me exclaimed in mechanical glee.

"I think I'm going to throw up," I breathed heavily, leaning forward in my chair.

"I think it's cute," Suki laughed beside me.

"Shut up," I mumbled miserably. At that point I was practically begging for the intermission, my prayers

After seeing Zuko and his uncle split up (over the length of Zuko's hair. I'm not even joking here) and a poor recreation of our team-up, We got to the Fire Nation's attack on Ba Sing Se. It was a very slow segment, we got to see the drill slowly, and by slowly I mean at a snail's pace, penetrate the wall and inch forward.

The False Aang kept on throwing tiny stones at Azula's actress to no avail. Many of the audience members were falling asleep when all the sudden a large explosion resonated in the theatre. The drill on stage fell apart and Azula let out a forced "Curses!"

"What on earth happened?" The False Aang asked as she descended from the wall.

"I came up with a plan to destroy the drill!" The False Sokka smiled as he crawled out of the rubble.

"He convinced me to break my rule and use my alien technology to win this battle, if it wasn't for this highly advanced weaponry, then the Fire Nation would have surely penetrated to wall and taken over Ba Sing Se,"

"That's not what happened!" Toph sighed.

"Truly, we were helpless without this technology," The False Aang exclaimed towards the audience.

"Why are they making me the hero here?" I wondered out loud. "Wasn't it Aang and Katara that took that thing apart?"

As you can imagine, this play wasn't a lot of fun.

The next segment was of Jet attacking us. This was when he was brainwashed and this part did bring up bad memories.

"No Jet! What did they do to you!?" The False Katara gasped.

"Must...destroy avatar...must serve Earth King!" The False Jet stuttered. He ran around gasping and gurgling, looking like a deranged marionette.

"This is all my fault!" The False me exclaimed. "The Earth King has managed to get a hold of my technology, I must destroy it for the good of all!" He then took out his ray gun and smashed it. "There...technology is destroyed," He smiled.

"But Jet isn't normal!" The False Aang gasped.

"It is too late for him!" The False me replied sadly.

Suddenly, a rock fell from above, and the False Jet scrambled to get underneath it. He let out a final gurgle and the set was quiet.

"Did Jet just...die?" Zuko asked.

"It was really unclear," Sokka replied thoughtfully.

The next scene started. It was of Katara and Zuko when they got captured by Azula.

"I have to admit, Prince Zuko, you are quite attractive," The False Katara smiled.

"I thought you were the Avatar's girl," The False Zuko replied in confusion.

"I've had eyes for you since the day you first captured me," The False Katara smiled. I noticed that both Katara and Zuko nervously glanced at one another and shifted apart.

"Awkward," I whispered.

"You don't need to worry Zuko, the Avatar and I are nothing more than close friends, almost like siblings!" The False Katara stepped closer to the False Zuko. "Besides, how can he find out about...this!" She hugged the False Zuko and he hugged her back.

Aang got up and started to leave. "You're getting up? Make sure you grab some Fire-Flakes?" Sokka asked the Avatar as he left.

"Someone isn't liking this romantic turn of events," I whispered. "I wonder if they get married in the end,"

Katara and Zuko shivered uncomfortably. "Please don't say stupid things like that," Zuko whispered back.

To save you some time, the play dragged on for another two hours before we hit the second intermission. We got to see Zuko betray his uncle, Azula stage a coup against the Earth King and Aang get shot by lightning. We stood outside in the hall, waiting to step back into the theatre.

"Seems like every time there's a big battle, you guys loose," Suki remarked.

"We won some battles," I replied. "We did beat Azula once,"

"And you managed to deflect her lightning somehow," Zuko added.

"That was more luck than anything," I muttered.

"Besides, who was it that got captured by Azula? Oh right, you!" Sokka said, leaning towards his girlfriend.

"Are you trying to get on my bad side?" Suki asked.

"Does anyone know where Aang is?" Katara asked us.

"Probably outside somewhere, being depressed over the fact that the two of you aren't going out together," I replied.

"What?" Katara asked.

"What? It's obvious he likes you, and it's clear those feelings aren't just one-sided," I shrugged. "Why don't you just go over there and hook up?"

"You're one to talk, you-"

"Were rejected, I know," I replied.

"Wow, what?" Zuko and Suki asked together in unison.

"You mean you're not going out with Toph?" Suki asked.

"What made you think that?" Toph asked.

"If you say the play, I will punch you," I added.

The two of them fell silent. Katara sighed heavily and walked away to find Aang. Sokka turned towards Suki, breaking the short silence.

"Think you can sneak me in the back? I got a few things I want to give to the actor playing me,"

"I am a Kyoshi Warrior who's trained for years in the art of stealth," Suki replied in a menacing voice.

Sokka sat there, waiting for a straight answer.

Suki smiled. "I think I can get you backstage!" They waved us good bye, and left us. Now, Zuko, Toph and I sat in the hall, feeling sorry for ourselves. Well, Toph was probably the only one who didn't feel too bad, she seemed to enjoy the play more than anyone.

"Gee, everyone is getting so upset about their characters, even you seem more down than usual," She turned towards Zuko. "And that's saying something,"

"You don't get it, it's different for you," Zuko sighed. "You get a muscle bound version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once while making sassy remarks."

Toph smiled, nodding. "It is pretty sweet,"

"But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,"

"It makes me feel like an alien," I nodded.

They turned towards me. "When you really think about it..." Toph started.

"You did kind of...come from another..." Zuko continued.

"Oh shut up," I growled. They chuckled a little. Zuko smiled, then sighed.

"As I was saying, my greatest regret was displayed on stage, I betrayed my uncle after all the kindness he showed me,"

"You've redeemed yourself already, though you may not realize it," Toph replied. "I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you,"

Zuko pulled his hood from his head, smiling. "Really?"

"Yeah, it was kind of annoying," Toph nodded.

"Oh...sorry," Zuko mumbled.

"Way to go," I whispered into Toph's ear.

"Bu-but it was touching!" Toph continued quickly. "All he wanted was for you to find your own path, and here you are with us, he'd be proud,"

"Thanks," Zuko smiled. Toph then suddenly punched Zuko.

"Ow! What was that for?" He asked.

"That's how I show affection," Toph replied.

"When have you ever shown me affection?" I asked. Toph growled. "Oh right, The boulders mean you love me the most right?" I asked.

Zuko laughed, causing Toph and I to smile. Suddenly, a small child dressed like Zuko came running by and paused when he saw the Fire Nation prince. The small boy studied Zuko for a few moments, and we all began to sweat. The boy then smiled and giggled.

"Your Zuko costume is pretty good, but your scar is on the wrong side," The boy said, pointing to his mask which had the burnt eye on the right side of his face. He started to run off.

"The scar's NOT ON THE WRONG SIDE!" Zuko cried, pulling his hood over his head.

"Now you're in the same boat as me," I sighed.

"At least I'm not a green man," Zuko smiled.

"Don't remind me,"

Back in the play, we made it to the Invasion. Finally, I was feeling like some superior being had granted me mercy as I could feel the end of the play approach.

"The odd's of survival for this mission are three-point-three-three...repeating of course, percent," An actor clearly trying to portray the Mechanist told our actor doubles. "I recommend that we take the pass on-"

"Alright, let's commence this assault!" My stage double exclaimed. He began to run towards the Fire Nation shores. "F-R...THREE-D!" A moment of confused silent followed.

"Did he just run in there?" the False Aang asked.

"Oh no! Help him!" the False Sokka cried.

As it turns out, according to the play, the only reason we survived the initial assault and managed to fight our way to the palace was because of the eclipse's greatly exaggerated length. Once inside the Fire Nation's throne room, the False Aang gave a huge sigh when she saw that no one was sitting on the throne.

"No one is home!" She exclaimed.

"Actually I'm home!" The False Zuko said, stepping from behind the throne. "I want to join you!"

"...I guess we have no choice," the False Sokka said. "Come on!" They ran off stage and the curtain fell.

"Well, that's it, the play has caught up to the present," Sokka sighed, getting up.

"Thank God for that," I breathed.

"It's not over yet, we still have more to go through," Suki said, pulling us down.

"But it is over...unless this is the future!" Sokka gasped.

The curtains rose again, and this time it was Ozai and Azula. "With the power harnessed from the comet...THE FIRE NATION IS UNSTOPPABLE!" The False Ozai screamed. A fake comet slowly moved back and forth across the top of the stage.

"Father!" the False Azula exclaimed. "The Avatar and his friends are here, they are trying to stop you!"

"You take care of Zuko, I shall take care of the Avatar myself!" Ozai then vanished in a puff of smoke.

"I didn't know Ozai was a ninja," I muttered, rubbing my temples.

The actors of Zuko and Aang ran onto the stage. "You find the Fire Lord, I'll hold her off!" The Falze Zuko said. The False Aang nodded, and ran off the stage, leaving the two siblings together.

"You are no longer my brother, you are an enemy!" The False Azula exclaimed.

"NO!" The False Zuko dramatically shouted. I had to hold back a giggle. "I am the rightful heir to the throne!"

"We shall see!" The two began to fight, throwing ribbons back and forth. They spun and jumped, avoiding each others attacks, when suddenly, large flames burst from the ground, swallowing the False Zuko.

"HONOR!" He cried as he fell. I lost it.

"Ha ha ha ha! That's – Ha ha! The funniest thing I've – Ha - ever seen!" I had to wipe tears from my eyes. I breathed heavily and composed myself. The entire theatre, including the actors, were looking up at me. I cleared my throat. "I'm good now, you can keep going,"

The play resumed. Now, it was Aang and the Fire Lord facing off against one another. The two of them began to fight, when I suddenly had a nagging feeling, as if something in this play wasn't adding up.

"If Sozin's Comet is there, wouldn't Aang be able to tap into it's power too? I mean, he technically is a Fire Bender, and...with the other three elements plus super fire balls, the Fire Lord would loose...period," I thought out loud. My friends looked at me, eyebrows raised. "Also, didn't Azula say that the Avatar brought his friends? By friends I assume she meant all of us right? Did Aang dump us all on the side of the road off stage? Is Zuko his only real friend?"

They suddenly realized what I was doing, and everyone began to smile. "Didn't you have a super gun?" Sokka asked.

"Don't you remember? I broke that back at Ba Sing Se,"

"Oh right, and you also blew up your ship which was the only thing that could bring you home," Toph nodded.

"I still don't understand why I did that and – oh look! The play is over!" I pointed down at the stage, everyone was cheering and the curtain was closed.

"Aw! I missed the ending!" Sokka complained.

"Naw, I'm sure it was something stupid," I replied.

We left the theatre feeling really bad about our evening. It was a wasted night, and it left a sour taste in our mouths.

"That wasn't a good play," Zuko said.

"As always, your powers of observation amaze me," I replied.

"The effects were decent," Sokka pointed out.

"That's not an excuse," I said. "Although, it isn't the worst representation of this story that I've seen,"

Everyone looked at me. I turned towards them. "What?" They shook their heads and continued to walk.

Things can only get better from here on out, right?