Chapter 1: After the honeymoon

Author's note!

Alright, I was really thinking about killing this story off and focusing on Ethan… but I could not resist doing this. This happens in book three, when Ana finds out about her child. Please follow me and favourite this! (: It's really encouraging. Also, I set up an emo/loner tumblr account, HAHAHAA. I'm catchingmystars . tumblr . com

The core within my chest was pounding a little too loudly for my liking, as if trying to get caught. An unwelcome thought crept into my mind; How long until another little heart would beat within me?

My inner goddess pursed her red lips and shook her head at me. You can't think about these things. He won't like it.

As if responding to her accusation, my husband's grey eyes met mine and he stroked my arm lovingly with the back of his hand. "Of course she's perfect." Christian told the table of his best men, "That's why I married her."

The board of directors that had watched me sexually harass him over Skype gave their nods of approvals, sweet smiles of envy and happiness playing across their faces. My jaw clenched involuntarily, the burden of this secret becoming too much for me to bear after the past three days I had kept it.

It had not been easy. Within the first minute of finding out, I had almost jumped at the opportunity of telling Christian over the phone when he made his routine stalker call. But I remembered him telling me countless of times that he did not want children. Right from the start, he had made arrangements to maneuver around that touchy topic.

Unfortunately, the panic of work I had been baptized in after my honeymoon around the world, eradicated my monthly appointments with the good doctor. Dr. Greene had tried repeatedly to reach past my secretary, Claire, but to no avail. Christian had made me CEO of Grey Publishing, the revamped version of SIP. I had been busied with courses to equip myself for my new role and had to juggle with all his public appearances that I had to attend.

I sighed inwardly. These were all excuses that were never going to get me anywhere. The problem still existed; I had his child growing within me right at this moment. A child that he would not want.

Holding this secret had manifested in deafly forms. On the first night, I had dreamt that Christian had forced me to abort the child. I flinched at the raw emotions that had accompanied such a painful event that I would never go through with. My parents personally had been strong advocates of anti-abortion, simply because it damaged not only the child but also including the mother's life forever.

On the second night, I had dreamt that upon finding out about our child, Christian had tossed me out of his apartment. Heartless and cold, he had chased me out of Escala and sent me divorce papers in the mail. This dream seemed more of the possibility. I knew full well how many other blue-eyed brunettes in the world that were not impregnated with his child there were. He could and would leave me in a blink of an eye.

The third night had been constructed by the devil itself. Christian had fled the moment I confessed the ugly truth to him. I found him later in the playroom with five different brunette subs, all vaguely resembling me. I had watched him punish each and everyone of them, then he f***ed them like an animal. After which, he said his goodbyes to me.

My unborn child was four and a half weeks old by now. My head had concluded that I could never tell Christian about this child. Never would I want to find out which reaction would be the right one.

"Marsala for you, Ana?" Christian whispered into my ear softly, so quiet and tender.

"M-m-m-arsala?" I stuttered, nervous. From all the dramatic manuscripts I had read, pregnancy and alcohol should never mix. I recalled all the miscarriages and birth defects that had molded the characters.

His answering smile was breath taking. "You've never tried?" He chuckled a little before taking my glass and tipping the wine bottle to mine. "You've probably tasted it in your food and never knew."

I gulped. "Probably." I stared wide-eyed at the liquid. If I did not drink this, Christian would know something is up. I needed some pregnancy books pronto, the real factual ones, to help me distinguish myths. He beckoned me to try and I conceded, tasting the wine. It was sweet and refreshing on my tongue. "It's good."

Christian beamed, a cherubic grin across his face. "I'll only let you drink the best."

"Thank you." I said.

His smile faltered just slightly, "Are you alright?"

Of course not, my inner goddess snapped. I have our child and you just poisoned him!

"Just a little tired." I ignored her, faking a yawn for show.

Christian flicked his wrist to reveal his new Rolex. Boys and their toys. "It's eight in the evening, Ana." There was a hint of worry in his voice.

Cover up! My inner goddess instructed.

I forced a laugh, "Rough day at work, Mr. Grey. Some of us actually have to work."

He shook his head at me and kissed me against my cheekbone. "Your smart mouth is hilarious, Mrs. Grey. Besides, you don't have to work another day of your life if you didn't want to."

"But I love my job. Bossing about Jack Hyde and all." I felt sorry for the man. He remained in his current position while I rose through the ranks faster than the Titanic could sink.

Christian snorted, satisfied. "Anybody who sets their eyes on you won't get far in life."

"You did." I pointed out with narrowed eyes, gesticulating to this entire event. Christian Grey's rise into the trillionaire boards had to be constantly celebrated. Tonight's event was to welcome the new business associates Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc had secured.

He nuzzled my ear, his teeth subtly grazing across my ear lobe. "Because I have you."

"Mr. Grey." Someone across the table said.

Reluctantly, Christian pulled from me and turned to receive the question. Before I knew it, the two men along with their counterparts dived head first into a discussion about more mergers and more acquisitions. Part of me wished they would all bring their wives as well, that way, I would have some form of a normal conversation. If I spoke up now, all these people would know how incompatible I was for Christian.

You can talk to me, my inner goddess rolled her eyes. We have loads to talk about.

I flipped my inner goddess and sighed inwardly once more. Babies. I was going to have a baby. My thoughts painted a picture of a bouncing baby boy in my arms, his brunette hair paired with his gorgeous grey eyes. Half Christian and half me. My parents would come over to take care of their grandchild. I could just imagine the joy and happiness Grace and Carrick would have about the child.

Mia would go shopping with Kate for all my child's clothes. I could see it now. Our house would be littered with baby clothing of all sorts of classy brands before he would be born. Elliot would be teasing us about our sex life with no doubt, asking how we got around the baby. It put a soft smile across my face just thinking about it.

But they're not the ones who matter, my inner goddess shook her head at my idealistic thinking.

She was right. Christian Grey would not be pleased. What if he shunned the child? I was frightened by the thought of our child growing up un-loved by his father.

"Let's go." Christian interrupted my brooding, his hand on my shoulder.

"Hm?"

He directed his view to the men around the table, "Thank you all for joining us tonight. My wife and I will be taking our leave."

There were a few grunts. "Oh come on, Grey. So early? You're getting old!" One of them teased.

Christian laughed good-naturedly. Never one to be pointing fingers, he bid the man farewell. "I wouldn't be this exhausted if you all did more work!" He taunted back, which was met with a round of laughter from the guys. This was my husband. My bold, confident and sexy husband.

I was going to lose him and all this once he found out about the baby. I could feel it in my bones.

He helped me up from my seat and swung an arm around my shoulders as he led me out of the event hall. On the way out, many of the people present rose from their seats to shake our hands. So many people my husband met and knew, so many who loved him. I sighed once more.

Taylor joined us as we reached the lobby. "Mr. Grey, is anything the problem?"

This only made me feel even worse about myself. Did Christian never leave this early from events and functions?

"Nothing at all, Taylor." Christian waved away the man's concern. "Ana's just feeling a little tired."

"Of course," Like a father would, Taylor scanned my exterior. "The car is waiting."

"Thank you." I whispered as Taylor opened the Audi door for me. Christian guided me up to the seats and I smiled at Luke who was behind the wheel.

Luke had known something was up from the moment I had stepped into Dr. Greene's office. Thankfully, he was keeping it to himself. Luke rose his eyebrows discreetly in question of my well-being and I gave him a subtle shake of my head in reply. Even through our wedding and honeymoon, Luke still remained my good friend and confidante. I trusted him and he took care of me.

Through the past few months, I had learned to understand the works behind Christian and Taylor's relationships. Something so professional could be so intimate as well. At times, I felt like Taylor knew more about Christian than I did.

"Thank you." I told Christian as Sawyer drove off. I wrapped my arms around Christian's waist, snuggling into his chest.

He chuckled, a hand stroking my thigh. "Whatever for?"

"For understanding." I twisted so I could look into his grey eyes. "I'm sorry for being a party-pooper."

"Oh trust me, Ana." He laughed. "Not much of a party to be pooped on." I laughed with him and we shook as one. "Besides, I'd much rather spend time alone with you."

I flushed at his words. Christian's fingertips grazed my cheeks gingerly, a fire within his eyes burning with his love for me. He was always so intense. I reached to catch his fingers in mine and I brought them to my lips. "I love you, Mr. Grey."

In response, he brought my wedding ring to his lips. "As I love you, Mrs. Grey."

Not for longgggggg, my inner goddess sang.

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