He longed to cry, to howl up at the sky in despair and anguish, but he didn't. He just lay there waiting for the cold to take him. Silently, his let his thoughts wander. Drift, thinking of what had been, and what could've been.

And so the snow kept falling, tiny flakes that reflected the light of the moon, boasting of cold beauty and death.

Merlin watched them dance in the winter sky, never flying, never stopping, just….dancing.

How could something so beautiful be so cold? Merlin thought silently, the crispy air biting as his skin, underneath the thick layer of midnight fur. Soon, he was all but frozen no longer feeling the blood in his body. Oh how he wanted see Arthur one last time, tell him how was sorry for what he had done, and what he had become.

'A monster' He whimpered, the sound alone making him sound like a pitiful dog, no more than a simple beast. He had never wanted this, this horrid fate, bestowed upon him by the very witch he used to call a friend.

She had found him, knowing if his true identity, his other name, Emrys. Her hate for him shaped his monstrous form. The wolf had not been created for just the eye, but nurtured.

Merlin knew of the beast inside, his darkness some might say, and morgana had fed it with a strong and powerful curse, so that it no longer stalked his mind and inside, but took over his outside, creating the wolf.

Morgana was never one to show mercy. Instead of the quick, painless death of which Merlin had begged, she had dragged him to the meadows surrounding The Pendragon castle, leaving him to weaken in the cold, the newly cast curse leaving him weakened and feeble.

He felt his eyes grow heavy, stung from the bitter chill that hung in the air, but he daren't shut them. He knew that if he did, he would never wake. Merlin knew that really, he didn't want to die. Not now, not like this. Not even how much his body longed for sleep, his mind told him no. He still had so much to do, for the future of Albion, and Arthur.

Yet if he was seen like this, he would be killed instantly. Arthur relished in the sport of hunting 'magical' creatures, such as he.

Finally, without sparing time for a change of mind, Merlin rose to his feet shakily and headed to Gaius's chambers, a safe sanctuary, or what he hoped.

He experienced no trouble once he had entered the citadel, silently slinking through the shadows that cast themselves vastly across the cobblestone ground, only his thin, crispy breath making itself known.

Once Merlin had reached the chambers, which was frequented by two guards, he took a small amount of time to think of a distraction that would allow time for him to prove to Gaius that it was really Merlin, and not some mangy old beast that had come in search of a tasty meal. A great relief was it for the servant when he experienced the flow of magic as easily as he had done when he was human. So, with a quick flash of gold, Merlin had both guards running desperately to the source of the noise.

Still with caution, the black wolf crept up to the wooden door and, after a moment of hesitation and uncertainty, gently knocked using his newly formed claws. Fortunately for Merlin, Gaius had not yet lain done to bed, and had been concocting a potion of some sorts.

"What do you want at this time of night, I'm busy you know!" Exclaimed a familiar voice that caused Merlin's ears to prick upright.

Suddenly, the door was pulled open, and there, in the dark of the night, A tall, black beast stood facing an elderly, haunched man.

In shock, Gaius found himself very slowly creeping backwards, almost tripping over his work bench. None the less, his gaze remained fixed on the wolf, who also slowly crept into the room, abruptly coming to a halt.

"What do you want?" Gaius knew he could not outrun the beast, his chances of escape relied solely on his wit.

"What do you want, beast?"

At that word, Merlin felt a sharp ache tugging at his chest, and a whine made itself known. Even his old friend and mentor could not recognise him through this monstrous appearance. He then lowered his head and sank to the ground, allowing Gaius the choice of whether he lived or not. He was not worthy of such a decision.

Gaius was troubled, and terrified, but mostly confused. His gaze remained rested on the wolf's jaws, ready for the attack that Gaius had expected, but it never came. Instead, the black animal remained on the floor, whining pitifully as if crying.

Without thinking, Gaius took a cautionary step forward, stopping when the Wolf's ears pricked upright. Slowly, the wolf also raised its head; fixing Gaius with his own frightened, but strangely, calm expression, with eyes full to the brim with sorrow.

For a long time the old physician could not lift his gaze of the Wolf's eyes, wondering in amazement at what he found there; The shining midnight blue spoke out from the monstrous body, communicating intelligence and emotion. They were eyes Gaius knew all too well, and suddenly he felt daft.

"Merlin" It was more of a statement than a question.

And with that the wolf sighed, as if in relief, and laid its head back down onto its paws.

"Oh merlin…my boy…" It was a certain now. Gaius could plainly see the familiar shaggy hair, though now all over his body, the two large ears that remained sticking outwards, and of course, the startling blue gaze of someone who was far too wise for their own good.

And with that realisation, came Gaius's relief, and sorrow, for the young man. He bent down to the beast, and held his head in his aged hands: What had she done to him?

She'd broken him. Gaius felt a warm tear swim done his cheek, and wrapped his arms around Merlin's shoulders, pulling him close, and wept. It was two hours later that both fell asleep on the cold stoned floor.