Lose Yourself

It's demotivating when I don't get reviews, I think 'Do people actually want to read this?' I have many chapters already written, I'm more than happy to post it if you show me it's what you want...xx

The ride to the airport was quiet, dad didn't try and make small talk and neither did I. I had nothing to say and even if I did, no one would hear me anyway.

At the airport I grabbed my carry on, filled with a few pair of clothes, underwear and a few possessions. I didn't need anything else, I wasn't planning on staying long. I've got it all figured out, I'll put on a charade, act as if I'm getting better and before I know it I'll be back in the confines of my room.

Dad stood to my side awkwardly and handed me a manila envelope. I took it slowly and peaked inside to find a wad of cash. My head shot up, I looked at him in question.

"It's a little something I put together for you, enjoy it!"

I shook my head silently, there was well over $900 in here. I couldn't take this.

"No, its yours. Take it," He pushed the envelope back in my hands, "I saved it up for you, all the over time at work, I did it for you,"

Don't do this dad, please. I don't deserve this, I wanted to cry out.

I've killed someone, I should be rotting away in a cell not accepting hard earned money I don't deserve!

Dad grabbed me in his arms for the first time in a long time, but something about the contact felt final. I wrapped my arms around dads waist and let the tears fall. I'll make this right, however I can.

*Lose Yourself*

On the flight to Chicago I lost myself in my music, my only save haven these days. After grabbing my bag and going through security, I walked out searching for uncle Marcus. It didn't take long, uncle Marcus came jogging up to me and grinned. "Baby gal, look at you!"

I smiled slightly, uncle Marcus was mums brother, they both shared the same eratic personality. It was hard not to love him.

"Hi Unc-"

He placed a finger over my lips and pouted his lips. "There will be no use of that word," He shuddered, "I'm old enough to be your brother, you know by now to call me Marcus," He winked and grabbed me in a hug.

I rolled my eyes and I hugged him back, patted his back would be a better description.

He stepped back and spread out his arms, "Welcome to Chicago, Bellsy!" He grinned and threw his arm over my shoulder and walked us in the direction of a Volvo.

Placing my bag in the trunk, I noticed Marcus frown slightly. "Traveling light?"

"Something like that," I muttered and got in to the car.

The weather here was warm, a stark comparison to the cold, hostile weather of Forks. I removed my cardigan and placed it in my lap, and listened to the weather forecast on the radio channel.

"I hope you like the sun, looks like we'll be getting a lot more in the upcoming week," Marcus said.

Just as I was about to answer, Marcus perked up. "Fuck! I love this song," He turned the volume up as the intro blared through the speakers.

The strumming of a guitar sent a cold chill down my spine and I grew still.

Next to me, Marcus began following the lyrics of the song. I couldn't take it no more and slammed 'mute'.

Marcus stopped his singing and I felt his eyes on my face, "Not a fan of Eminem?" He asked, his voice soft.

"Well...never mind," he said realizing I wasn't going to answer. "The White Sox are playing right now and I've placed big money on them, I cant lose and give Edward the satisfaction!" He said, turning the radio to the sports channel.

"Who's Edward?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

Marcus glanced at me before focusing his eyes on the road, "Edward, my main barman down at the club and the owner of this fine car. Don't tell him I said that, though," Marcus added with a wink.

I smiled, "Your secrets safe with me,"

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Maybe this would be a good thing...

If you want to meet Edward, you know what to do...review my darlings x