Clint was going to find a way to figure out who was messing with the higher level SHIELD agent's offices. In the past week. Coulson, Fury, Hill, Hand, Garrett, and Sitwell had all been hit with someone recoloring, rearranging, or, in the case of Garrett, relocating the furniture in their offices (Garrett's ended up attached to the outside of the Triskelion). It was amusing and impressive, but Clint was becoming increasingly irritated with the fact that he was being constantly blamed for these events. He was having to dodge six high level agents right now- and he lived with one of them! Well, okay, to be fair, Coulson was the only one who believed him when he said he didn't do any of this. Or, at least he didn't believe Clint was responsible for replacing Maria's furniture with blow-up versions. Or attaching Garrett's to the Triskelion.

The question was- who was responsible? Who had the higher ups pissed off to the point of causing this level of chaos? And how had they done it?

Crawling through the vents, Clint headed towards where he thought the culprit would strike next. Or, well, where he thought it was more likely they'd strike. There were too many high-level agents to say 100% for sure who this culprit would strike against.

"Yo, Birdy." Darcy's voice echoed through the comm in his ear. "I'm chilling in the vent in Agent Hobbit's office. You sure about that?"

"I have no clue," admitted Clint as he wiggled towards Blake's office. "Why do you call him Agent Hobbit anyway?"

"Have you seen his feet?" countered Darcy, her voice disbelieving. "They're hairy like a hobbits! Plus, he's short."

"I'm shorter than him," pointed out Clint as he turned a corner in the vent shaft.

"Yeah, but you aren't hairy," stated Darcy. "And don't argue that one- you've wondered around the apartment naked a few too many times at this point for me not to know that."

"I really hope that was an exaggeration," remarked Phil's voice, his calm tone coming both from the vent shaft and the comm in Clint's ear.

The sound of Clint's head slamming into the top of the vent shaft was echoed by a yelp of pain from Darcy. Blinking, he found Phil's head sticking into the vent shaft ahead, a raised eyebrow cocked at Clint.

"Phil, I swear, this isn't what I looks like!" exclaimed Clint, torn between backing up and attempting to explain himself. Then again, it did look kinda bad; he might be better off just to run. "I'm trying to catch whoever's been messing with the offices!"

"So am I," stated Phil, pulling himself into the vents with the ease of someone who routinely did so and not a man who spent a lot of time behind a desk. "Darcy is staking out Agent Gillmore's office, I believe?"

"His name is Agent Hobbit," corrected Darcy, grumbling slightly. "His feet are too hair for him to be human!"

"I'm pretty sure Thor debunked the whole 'hobbit' thing," reminded Clint as he shifted around a little so Phil could have some room to climb into the vents.

"Actually, he said they looked like some alien creature thing, so no, they might exist and I maintain Agent Hobbit is one of them!" stated Darcy firmly.

"Could we table this discussion until later?" requested Phil as he climbed into the vent beside Clint. "Preferably a time when we are not attempting to track down an individual who is vandalizing SHIELD offices?"

"Fine," grumbled Darcy. "But I will ask Loki about it. He'll know."

"Or he'll turn Agent Gillmore into a hobbit," pointed out Clint with a smirk.

"Neither of you are allowed to encourage or allow Loki to turn Agent Gillmore into a hobbit," stated Phil with a sigh, turning around in the vent somehow and beginning in the direction Clint had been initially. "Shall I assume you were headed for Blake's office?"

"Uh, yeah," confirmed Clint, blinking a bit even as he began following Phil. "How did you know?"

"This is the most direct route to Blake and Sitwell's offices," stated Phil, "and Sitwell has already been hit."

"Do we want to know how you know that one, Phil?" asked Darcy curiously. "Or is that just one of those 'robots know all' thing?"

"It's a 'I memorized the ventilation blueprints because Agent Barton kept disappearing and someone had to climb into the vents to get him' thing," returned Phil, stopping just over the vent opening that lead to Blake's office.

"So it's Birdies' fault," stated Darcy as if that was an obvious conclusion. "Should have thought of that one."

"Thanks Bunny," grumbled Clint as he tried to figure out how to get past Phil. "I really appreciate-"

"Shhh," hissed Phil suddenly, bending closer to the vent. "I think I see someone."

"Uh, then I think it's the janitor," remarked Darcy, "'cause- AHHH! Shit dude!" A cracking sound followed as the comm suddenly just fell silent.

"Darcy!" shouted Clint in the vague hope the comm would come back online even as Coulson nearly kicked out the vent face and dropped through the opening. Clint followed without a word, taking off after his boss and startling the janitor as they ran by. The man nearly flattened himself against the wall, eyes wider than they probably should have been given the man worked in a SHIELD facility. Huh. That might be worth mentioning to Fury.

Shaking the thought from his brain, Clint focused on following Phil as they raced towards Agent Gillmore's office, silently hoping whatever had gotten Darcy wouldn't hurt her. If it did, he was pretty sure Gillmore would need to redecorate his office. The blood probably wouldn't come off the walls. Or the carpet.

Phil didn't even slow down as they approached the office, slamming it open with his shoulder while pulling out his Taser. Clint was inside less than a second later, fearing the worse.

What they found was something neither would ever forget.

Loki was sitting in the middle of the room, Darcy's arm around his shoulder in a comforting way. His lower lip was extended in a way that could only be defined as pouting and his shoulders were slumped in defeat. Darcy was talking quietly to him in a reassuring voice, her eyes going up to Phil and Clint when they barged in.

"Hey guys," greeted Darcy, smiling at them a bit apologetically. "Sorry about the whole 'disappearing from comms thing. Loki kinda scared me and the comm fell out of my ear and rolled somewhere."

Phil's eye twitched somewhat violently, his finger twitching against the trigger of his Taser. A few seconds later though, he was holstering the device with a deep and clearly restrained breath. "Darcy, why is Loki in Agent Gillmore's office?"

"'Cause he's been vandalizing the offices," stated Darcy, patting Loki's shoulder a little as if that weren't a problem at all. "He's kinda upset."

"So he's been vandalizing people's offices," repeated Clint slowly, cocking an eyebrow at both her and the god she'd somehow befriended. "Wow, that's a worse reason than Fury taking my nerf bow."

"I have not been striking against agents without reason," growled Loki, though the pout kinda took any bite out of his growling.

Clint shot Phil a confused look, wondering if the other agent had a better idea of what might be going on. Sadly, Phil looked just as confused and slightly irritated as Clint was.

"And what is this supposed reason, exactly?" questioned Phil as he holstered his Taser. "I can't speak for the others but I know I haven't done anything that even remotely involved you recently."

"Yes, you have," corrected Loki, bolting angrily to his feet. "You drew the attention of the lovely raven-haired warrior woman who works in your administration division and made it impossible for me to approach her!"

"I'm sorry, what?" asked Phil, pinching the bridge of his nose a little in clear frustration. "What woman are you talking about?"

"She is a raven-haired woman who works in administration but who is as capable of fighting as she is of filing," stated Loki, his arms crossing over his chest. "She rarely ventures beyond the boundaries of SHIELD's compound, but the last few times she has, other agents have approached her and insisted she return before I could approach her!"

"I'm still not sure what you're talking about," repeated Phil with growing irritation.

"It sounds like you cock-blocked him accidentally," remarked Clint, furrowing his brow a little as he tried to figure out what Loki might be talking about. There were a lot of dark-haired women in administration, but whoever Loki meant was probably someone Phil would talk to outside of work. That fact allowed narrowed the list basically down to…. "Wait, Loki." The angry god momentarily turned his glare on Clint, as if that would help somehow alleviate his frustrations. "Are you talking about Melinda May?"

Slowly, Loki nodded. "That is what I have come to understand her name to be."

Clint had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Phil began choking beside him, clearly either disturbed or amused by the idea. He straightened up quickly when Darcy glared at them. It was too late though; with a frustrated sound, Loki disappeared, leaving Darcy, Clint, and Phil standing in Agent Gillmore's office. Well, it was his office for about five seconds. Then all of the furniture shrunk to the size of a mouse's and the walls and floor of the room suddenly turned into icy sheets, sending all three people to the ground.

"Smooth one," growled Darcy as she sat up rubbing her butt slightly.

"Dude, he's got a crush on the Calvary," stated Clint, unable to restrain his laughter by then. It wasn't like Loki was there anymore, anyway. There was no reason to avoid laughing by that point.

"It's rather disturbing," added Phil, wincing as he dug some piece of miniaturized furniture from beneath his bum.

"What should we do anyway?" asked Clint admit his snickering. "We can't just let Mel get blindsided by this."

"Oh hell no!" exclaimed Darcy, somehow pushing herself up to her feet. "You two are going to stay out of this. "I am not going to let you ruin this for Loki!"

"But Darce-" started Clint, only for the angry former intern to cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"No," repeated Darcy, her fists planted firmly on her hips. "I am gonna help Loki woo this woman 'cause he deserves it and you two are gonna stay the hell out of it otherwise I will tase you both and leave you hanging by your feet in Tony's workshop. Got it?"

"Got it," muttered Clint, holding up his hands. Phil just shot her a look that said she had no power over him.

Scowling, she half stormed, half skated out of the office, clearly angry. Silently, Clint listened to her storming steps disappear before he glanced back at Phil again.

"We aren't really going to not warn May, are we?" asked Clint curiously, cocking an eyebrow.

Phil pressed his lips together in an unhappy line but shook his head all the same. "I don't particularly want to get involved, but admittedly, I might be good for May."

"Are you seriously?" asked Clint, eyes going wide. "She'll kill us if she finds out we knew and didn't warn her."

"I didn't say I wasn't going to warn her," corrected Phil as he climbed carefully to his feet as well. "I just said I don't want to get involved."

"And that you thought this might be good for May," reminded Clint, trying to scramble to his feet as Phil carefully slid to the open office door. "I mean, that sounds like you aren't going to interrupt, right?" Phil didn't respond, just headed down the hallway. "Phil?" Clint struggled to the door, leaning on the door frame as he nearly fell through it. "Wait, Phil! What's your plan?" Still the agent remained silent, heading for the elevators. That drew a curse from Clint, who managed to get off the slippery floor just as Phil turned the corner off the office and disappeared out of sight. Cursing, Clint took off after the man, determined to find out what his superior's plan was. "Phil!"