Between The Lines

an Aaaah! Real Monsters Fanfic

by Save Fearow

Author's Note: The Academy librarian never got a name in the credits, so the fanfics refer to her as Nesdak, in a literary shout-out to Maurice Sendak (author of 'Where The Wild Things Are'.) Her only starring role was in the episode Misery Date. She has a few cameos, appearing in such episodes as Attack Of The Blobs and Puppy Ciao. Notably, she's the only adult monster besides Slickis who is consistently nice to Ickis. I think the little guy could use a good female role model so of course Zimbo would want to muck up everything.

Ickis wiped his paws on the filthy washcloth. "I finished dirtying up all the windows Nesdak!" he declared proudly. "Also I tarnished the doorknob, an' I updated part of the card catalog so ev'ryone will know we got more reference books. I like fiction better but the Gromble always wants us to stick to the facts even when they're boring or embarrassing!"

"Thank you Ickis." Nesdak replied. "It's sweet of you to help out. I'm glad you've been coming to the library more often."
"Oblina likes it here. You can learn alot an' the company is always good!" asserted Ickis.

"I really appreciate what you've done so far. Saturday is usually the slowest day so I often close up at noon and go out for a bite to eat. Would you care to join me Ickis?" Nesdak asked.

"Yeah, that'd be awesome!" Ickis replied. "Where are we going, some place downtown?" he asked as they left the library.

"I'm taking you to my favorite Italian restaurant. Del Pustule's is located underneath 10th avenue, not far from the Lincoln Highway. Sometimes the traffic noises -are- a little loud but it's worth it to sample the garbage they dredge up fromt he Hudson River." Nesdak supplied.

"Is that where Oblina got the idea for Fungus' name? I'm sorry he knocked over those books, by the way. He's much better behaved now that he's grown up, I've sneaked over to pet him a couple times!" Ickis revealed.

"It's quite possible. Del Pustule's is well regarded by food critics. But you should be careful around bark-and-bites Ickis. They might hurt you." fretted Nesdak.

"Not Fungus! He 'members me taking real good care of him! Bark-and-bites are like monsters that way. Even if they were little when they got showed kindness, they 'preciate it an' wanna be your friend for life!" he exclaimed.

"Alright Ickis. Just check with the Gromble first, to see if he approves." Nesdak advises.

"I don't gotta ask if I already know the answer." Ickis insisted.

"Oh Ickis. The Gromble -really- does want what's best for you. He's not an ogre." Nesdak replied.

"Nope! That's why I took Simpah's tail instead. She still glares at me sometimes. We don't have to have soup when we go out, do we?" Ickis wondered.

Nesdak laughed. "You can have whatever you want, Ickis. My father Resdak OWNS Del Pustule's. We eat for free." explained Nesdak.

"No way!" Ickis exclaimed. "That's so not cost-effective! I'll try really hard not to eat into -your- family's profits too much but I can't make any promises. It's been a long time since breakfast."

"Don't worry about it. I know you always try to be good." Nesdak assured him.

Ickis beamed. "You noticed that? I been trying even -harder- not to screw up since I talked to Dad. He told me lotsa stories over winter break, even ones from BEFORE he was this Academy's Most Esteemed Graduate!" Ickis recalled.

"That was nice of him. I'm glad Slickis spent some more time with you, I'm sure that meant alot to you both." Nesdak stated.

"Dad cancelled a speech jus' for me! He hardly -ever- takes a day off from work but he promised he would an' monsters never break their word. I'd hold him to that, an' if Dad ever let me down in that regard I'd be FURIOUS with him for weeks!" Ickis detailed.

"No, you're too nice a boy to carry a grudge." Nesdak predicted.

"I wouldn't be so sure..." Ickis began. His ears twitched. "Didja hear that? I think we're being followed." He whirled around, but Nesdak grabbed his paw and pulled him back.

"Ickis, they are plenty of students in the Academy who like to roam the halls. You often do." she pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm jus' looking for something fun to do. Or trying to avoid the Gromble. Or sometimes I'm doing both at once! But this sounded more like Zimbo, and he's -only- interested in stirring up trouble!" Ickis protested.

"I'm sure Zimbo has better things to do than spy on us. Come along Ickis, this pipe will take us to Del Pustule's where we'll have a splendid time. You might even get to meet Papa, wouldn't that be lovely? I'm sure he'd be delighted to meet you." Nesdak offered.

"Okay, Nesdak. That sounds great! I'll do whatever you say." Ickis agreed.

Zimbo smirked as he watched them crawl through the pipes. Ickis and the librarian, going on a date in a fancy restaurant, where Ickis would even be introduced to her family. Oh yes, there were possibilities here and it was his DUTY to inform the Gromble of every single thing that might be happening.

Ickis whistled. Del Pustule's was the most skankified place in town. There were dead fish rotting on every table, as well as complimentary paint chips for snacking. The waitress ran back-and-forth, refilling glasses of pond scum for the customers. "Wow." Ickis exclaimed.

"Do you like it, Ickis? My father worked -very- hard to get us where we are today. He's now the Capo de tutti capi!" Nesdak noted proudly.

"So he's the big boss? That's terrific, I'm sure it's a great honor." Ickis agreed.

"This is one of our associates, Zupo. Today he's working as the headwaiter." Nesak told Ickis.

"Nezz!" Zupo greeted her exuberantly. "We've been expecting you! Didn't think you'd bring anyone along! Is he a friend of ours?" Zupo eyed Ickis with mild suspicion.

"A friend of mine, actually. Ickis is one of the Gromble's students. Ickis, this is Zupo." Nesdak introduced them.

"Piacere." Zupo responded, evidently satisfied.

"È un piacere incontrare voi sir." Ickis replied smoothly.

"Lei parla italiano?" questioned Zupo.

"So che alcune frasi che mio padre mi ha insegnato. Egli è colui che conosce davvero la lingua." Ickis admitted.

"Not bad for a chi-acchierone." Zupo decided. "Let me show you to your table. I presume you want the usual, Nezz?"

"Yes, please. Is Papa here today? I was hoping we could speak to him briefly." Nesdak remarked.

"Of course. He had to... break an egg earlier but the situation's taken care of now. I'll tell the Capo you were asking about him." Zupo promised as he headed towards the kitchen.

"Mister Resdak -must- be a great chef! Rotten eggs are one of the main ingredients in several of Dad's favorite recipes. Actually, I don't think he HAS any unfavorites!" Ickis judged.

Nesdak frowned slightly. "Zupo is a good monster, but sometimes he forgets his place. He's a bit of a babbo unfortunately." commented Nesdak.

The kitchen doors swung open, revealing a large and intimidating monster with a brass knuckle attached to the tip of a tentacle. "Nezz! How's my little girl? I heard you brought a goombah today!" Resdak boomed. He kissed his daughter on both cheeks.

"Papa! I'm so glad to see you!" Nesdak hugged him. "Ickis, this is my father Resdak. You may call him the Capo, everyone does." she revealed.

"Buon giorno, signore. La ringrazio per avermi permesso accompagnare vostra figlia oggi. Nesdak's a very nice lady, Capo Monster sir." Ickis gushed.

Resdak laughed. "Mi piace questo capretto! I don't think you'll be a problem, Ickis." Resdak determined.

"I'll vouch for him, Papa." Nesdak promised.

"Alright. Just hope he doesn't turn out to be another 'empty shell'." Resdak commented.

"Don't have a shell, I got fur instead!" Ickis clarified.

"Is he a clown? We got enough babbos already." Resdak grumbled.

"Ickis is young, but he's not unskilled Papa." Nesdak qualified. "He's -very- good with numbers! Ickis has even had some dealings with the Mugh brogata. He's played Grishnak with their little cugine, Pugh and Ickis NEVER loses."

"An earner, is he? We -could- use another monster like that." Resdak recognized.

"Grazie! Ickis, make yourself at home as long as you're here. Welcome to la cosa nostra." Nesdak informed him.

"It's a legitimate business." Resdak insisted. "We're very proud of Del Pustule's."

"It's truly impressive!" Ickis concurred. "Everything smells great, I can't wait to have lunch!"

"I'll tell the cook to whip up a double batch of lintguini. Nezz's always loved that. You strike me as a boy of discriminating taste. How would you like to sample the spewmoni?" Resdak offered.

"That's our most popular dessert." explained Nesdak.

"Yeah! I mean, thank you sir. I'd be delighted." Ickis corrected himself.

"Good manners. I admire that. Maybe you'll join our crew someday, Ickis." Resdak allowed.

"I never been part of a crew before! Is it like the crew in 'Critters Courageous'?" Ickis questioned.

Nesdak giggled. "It's a little different from that, I'm afraid. I wasn't aware you'd read 'Critters Courageous'. It's a fascinating novel!" Nesdak proclaimed.

"Dad read most of it. He was trying to be nice cause he wouldn't LET me out of bed for -some- reason." Ickis recalled.

"I think he was just worried you were feeling a little poorly." Nedak suggested. That was quite the understatement given the close call Ickis had last winter but she didn't want him to feel self-conscious. Ickis had still been a little shaky on his first day back. Some of the students, Zimbo in particular, had a tendency to pick on Ickis during moments of perceived weakness.

Ickis flicked his ears in annoyance. "I'm not a bonsty! I can take care of myself! I -scared- people then an' I can do it again! Who cares if I messed up yesterday? The gymnasium is a lousy place for scaring anyway, I only went cause Oblina chose it! She disguised herself as a jump-rope and gave everyone a fright. Krumm scrunched up like the big bouncy ball, that worked pretty good too. But my idea was -flawless-, shoulda been the best of all! I loomed behind the boxer so he jus' saw my shadow first! Then he turned around and I'm sure he woulda been REALLY scared if that sandbag he was punching hadn't swung back and hit me! You can't even see the bruise under the fur!" Ickis asserted.

That was true, although Nesdak -had- seen Ickis holding his side and whimpering twice on the way to the restaurant. "It was a very detailed plan." Nesdak offered graciously.

"The Gromble thinks scaring should be more instinctual. He has us go over tactics an' preparations somewhat in class, but he thinks all the best scares are the results of innovation." Ickis stated.

"What do you believe?" Nesdak asked.

"I don't know. I've failed at both often enough. This year's tally is 43 failed plans, an' 39 failed innovations so far." Ickis listed.

"There's still plenty of time to improve on that. The important thing is that you keep trying your hardest." Nesdak encouraged.

"Like Harvetch? He was a spoiled bonsty before he fell overboard an' learned from the monster fishing crew how to be useful an' humble an' hard-working! That's why -his- father Charvetch was so proud'a him in the end!" Ickis proclaimed.

"Exactly. I'm so glad you liked that story. 'Critters Courageous' was one of my favorite books when I was a young monster." Nesdak remembered.

"You're a grown-up but you're not old!" Ickis protested.

"Ickis, that's kind but you flatter me unduly." Nesdak claimed.

"It's true! That's why the Gromble still thinks of you as squishy but he doesn't approach you NEAR enough. Gromby's -too- shy for his own good, if you never make a move than you'll never get ANYWHERE with a squish." opined Ickis.

The waitress glided over then, balancing their trays. "Here you are, 2 bowls of lintguini, a spewmoni, and a pitcher of phlegmonade, compliments of the house. Let me know if you need anything else." the waitress offered.

"Thank you, Taranti." Nesdak acknowledged. She twirled some lintguini around her dirt fork. "Is everything to your liking, Ickis?" she inquired.

Ickis was still watching the waitress work. "I like everything I see." he murmured.

"I hate to tell you this, Ickis but Taranti and Puzo are engaged." Nesdak pointed out.

Ickis' ears drooped. "I wasn't really serious about that! I jus' thought, y'know, she looked hideous an' maybe Taranti would be more willing than -other- girls I know..." Ickis trailed off sadly.

"I'm sure you'll find the right girl someday, Ickis." Nesdak asserted.

"I already DID, I jus' gotta get her to accept that!" Ickis insisted. "Oblina is -so- stubborn though!"

The Gromble's office was his sanctuary, and no student would dare to intrude upon that.

"Ex-cuse me, Gromble sir, but I have -news- for you!" Zimbo simpered.

The Gromble sighed. He THOUGHT it was his sanctuary. "It had -better- be good." the Gromble snapped as he opened the door.

"It is about Ickis." Zimbo answered.

"That rules out good then." the Gromble replied. He started to close the door again.

"...and the librarian!" Zimbo added.

That got the Gromble's attention. "What about them?" he asked, paw still on the door.

"They are a couple!" Zimbo announced.

"A couple of what?" questioned the Gromble.

"A couple of squishes! They are dating even as we speak!" Zimbo maintained.

"You think Master Ickis- out of every monster in this entire Academy- no out of the entire WORLD, could be dating one of MY staff members? Oh, Zimbo you have lost it!" the Gromble laughed uproariously.

"Perhaps. But ask yourself this, how often does Ickis go to the library now?" Zimbo persisted.

Ickis -was- going there more often but there was no real cause for concern. "I always assumed he was following Oblina." the Gromble recalled.

"That's a good trick on days when she ISN'T there. But yesterday he was -tarnishing- the doorknobs for her. Without being asked, I might add." Zimbo continued.

"I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that." the Gromble remarked. He couldn't think of any at the moment, but surely it would come to him later.

"Of course. And the explanation is that they are in love! Why else would she take him to FANCY restaurant as a -reward- for his efforts?" Zimbo reasoned.

The Gromble's eyes widened in shock. "WHAT?!" he bellowed.

"They went to Del Pustule's. That -is- one of the most exquisite, influential restaurants in all of monsterdom, is it not?" Zimbo judged. He fluttered his wings insouciantly.

"Ickis? The librarian? Together? It can't be." the Gromble muttered. "I -won't- let it be!" he snarled.

"Perhaps I was misinformed." Zimbo allowed. "Still... it's worth further investigation. I -trust- you will make the right judgement, sir." Zimbo professed, smirking as he flew away again.

The Gromble didn't really trust Zimbo to stick to the facts. The little tattletale was always exaggerating stories. Still, it WOULD be a good idea to keep an eye on Master Ickis. The Gromble watched him all week. On Monday he confiscated another doodle from Ickis. This one featured Wickis, toenail tycoon and masked vigilante, and his love interest Koblina, kleptomaniac and thief of hearts. That didn't -seem- like something a monster in a serious relationship would draw, but it was early days yet and there was a chance Ickis had written that comic earlier. For all the Gromble knew Koblina was just a part of a revolving door of potential squishes. On Tuesday Ickis attempted to start a Grishnak tourney after class. The Gromble took away the set, as well as all the toenails Ickis had already won from Snav, Blib, Krumm, Gludge, Frunk, Urbab, and Boral. It unnerved him that Ickis would be trying to make some fast cash, what could that bonsty possibly need the money for? On Wednesday Ickis was seen carrying that fishing pole, coming back his favorite spot under the bridge. He claimed to have been angling for garbage but the Gromble KNEW better. Ickis smelled strongly of fish and some other unidentified quality which the loomer professed was hopefulness. What exactly did Ickis have to be hopeful about?! On Thursday he was actually IN the library, ostensibly looking for a new book. There was no way the Gromble would fall for such an -obvious- lie, Ickis could barely read the Monster Manual! Sometimes the Gromble really regretted letting him pass that proficiency test. But it was Friday afternoon that really put the final nail in the coffin! The Gromble was on his way to the office, hoping to have a relaxing mudbath and forget his growing suspicions, but there was Ickis, dancing in the hallway.

"A bottle of red, a bottle of white

Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight!

I'll meet you anytime you want

In our Italian restaurant!" Ickis sang.

The Gromble was seething. "ICKIS!" he bellowed.

Ickis gulped. "Your Grombleness, I didn't hear you coming. I was, um, picking up the Top 40 and well, I've grown very fond of the classics." Ickis admitted. His ears pinged in confirmation.

"I'll just BET you have." the Gromble snapped.

"Pop music can be like fine grime, it gets better with age! D'you think that can apply to anything else in life?" Ickis questioned.

"I'm sure you'll have -plenty- of time to figure it out while you're being SNORCHED this weekend, Master Ickis!" the Gromble boomed.

Ickis flinched. "Can I get a rain-check? I have plans for Saturday." Ickis mentioned.

"Oh you little skank! Have you NO shame?!" roared the Gromble.

"I have plenty of that! There's lots I've done that I'm not really proud of, but I think that's jus' part of growing up! Dad says experience is the best teacher anyhow." Ickis piped up.

"Your father, I remember quite a bit about HIM. Nuzzling is against school policy!" the Gromble recalled.

"That doesn't apply to outside school grounds, though." Ickis replied. "Theoretically, I could..."
"SHUT UP! Get away from me before I -expel- you. Master Ickis, I can't believe the depths you would SINK to! You're a repugnant little wretch!" the Gromble snarled.

Ickis started to back away slowly. "Okay, I'm sensing a little hostility here." he noted.

"And if I catch you doing ANYTHING like that again, you're dead meat!" threatened the Gromble.

Frightened, Ickis ran back to the dorm as fast as he could. He knew the Gromble didn't approve of monsters shaking their groove thing, but he never thought his Headmaster would react that strongly!

The Gromble was furious. He'd been -trying- to woo Nesdak for years, was it his fault he was a true gentle monster and liked to take things slowly? He didn't deserve to be tossed aside for some flavor-of-the-month like Master Ickis! He'd thought better of Nesdak, she should know to date a monster her OWN age (conveniently forgetting that he was more than a century older than her.) Ickis shouldn't be chasing after an older woman ANYWAY (again, forgetting that Ickis was the youngest monster in class.) He would take great -pleasure- in seeing Master Ickis be Snorched today.

Except Master Ickis was NOT in any of the Snorch's torture rooms. When the Gromble questioned the Snorch about it, he was informed through a series of mutterings and claw gestures that Master Ickis had -paid- the Snorch to reschedule the punishment!

"Why would you let him DO that?" the Gromble questioned. The Snorch shrugged and mumbled some further explanation.

"He says that they came to an understanding." Zimbo put forth.

"Oh really? -I- understand that Master Ickis is going to be in SO much trouble, his ANCESTORS will also suffer for it!" the Gromble bellowed.

"Good. I wouldn't mind seeing Slickis taken down a few pegs." Zimbo murmured. The Snorch grumbled in response. "I don't care if -every- monster thinks Slickis is great! You've never seen him LOOM in front of you, fangs sharpened to a razor's edge! No, I was not ASKING for it, whose side are you on?!" exclaimed Zimbo.

"ENOUGH! I'll handle this -myself-! Why should the Snorch have all the fun? Master Ickis is in for a -world- of hurt!" the Gromble vowed as he stomped off.

Zimbo grinned. "I love it when a plan comes together." he noted smugly.

"So Ghouligan keeps getting into crazy adventures EVERY time he sets off somewhere? Why don't they jus' keep him at home?" Ickis questioned.

"It's hard to tie down a determined monster." Nesdak commented.

"Oblina chained me up once! I broke free -easily-!" Ickis noted with pride.

Nesdak giggled. "Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time." she offered.

"I was sleep scaring an' she was trying to stop me! Nobody wants me to act on my dreams, even the ones where everyone DOESN'T die horribly!" Ickis declared.

Nesdak frowned. "They die in your dreams?" she questioned.

"They die in my life, too." Ickis acknowledged sadly. He poked at his spewmoni. "Maybe self-preservation is what keeps Oblina at bay? ...I wouldn't blame her." he mumbled.

Nesdak patted him gently. "Nobody blames you Ickis." she assured him.

The Gromble was still enraged when he crawled through the sewer and arrived at Del Pustule's. "I blame Master Ickis." he muttered. "He's -obviously- corrupted her." He tromped over to the restaurant and flung the door open.

Zupo the headwaiter glared at him. "Do you have a reservation?" Zupo asked.

"Not about brushing YOU aside. Get out of my way!" the Gromble snapped.

Zupo scowled. "I been disrespected." he seethed, fists clenching and un-clenching. It wasn't just his pride that had been insulted, being spoken to like that in Del Pustule's was an insult to the Capo as well!

The Gromble scanned the restaurant quickly. There they were, deep in conversation at a -secluded- table. She even had her tentacle wrapped around Master Ickis! It was all too much!

"ICKIS!" the Gromble thundered.

"Yeep!" In his fright, Ickis knocked the book over. "Aw, you made me lose my page!" Ickis remarked sadly. He began flipping through 'Ghouligan's Travels', hoping to pick up where he left off.

"Bookmarking? So close now? That boy is HALF her age!" the Gromble protested.

"More like a quarter, there's not enough difference for a fifth. Hello sir." Ickis replied.

"Gromby? I didn't expect you to come here! You usually eat in the Academy where you can keep on eye on the students." Nesdak noted.

"Maybe I -wasn't- watching them closely enough." the Gromble spat. "I guess you picked up the slack in THAT department."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Nesdak responded. "I only know that you are speaking -quite- loudly and it is upsetting."

"Oh? Because I have upset your -little- plans?" sneered the Gromble.

"No, it's okay sir. I found the chapter again! Ghouligan's jus' discovered the island of little critters!" Ickis squealed happily.

"'Ghouligan's Travels'? Master Ickis, you couldn't -possibly- understand that, it's MUCH too hard for you! The Monster Manual's has proved too challenging for you time and again, and that's REQUIRED reading. What makes you think you could handle such a -complex- allegory for monster society?!" the Gromble dismissed Ickis' efforts entirely.

Ickis set the book aside glumly. "I thought I could try. I'm sorry I bothered." he whispered.

"Don't say that! You were doing -very- well!" Nesdak insisted. She looked at the Gromble with loathing. "I -told- Ickis he could read 'Ghouligan's Travels' sir."
"But you're the librarian! You should know his limitations, he has several!" the Gromble protested. Ickis hung his head in shame.

"And you're the Headmaster. You -should- be encouraging HIM. Forgive me for having to do -your- job as well as my own." Nesdak countered.

"Yes, I've -seen- the way you ENCOURAGE him. It's sickening, to think that I would live to see a student -cavorting- with the faculty!" the Gromble bellowed.

"We are doing NOTHING of the kind! Ickis and I were simply having lunch and discussing some of his -brilliant- ideas!" Nesdak asserted.

"Spare me. What did the little 'genius' come up with, more crimes of passion?" the Gromble hissed.

"I don't -think- it's criminal, not really. An' I don't think it's bonstyish to be read to, either. That's why I figured, what if I -built- a recording device, kinda like the humans have? Then whenever my Dad read something, I could play it back on an audio recording! I betcha monsters would buy -even- MORE copies of 'Tales Of The Great Slickis' if there was also an audio-book!" Ickis envisioned.

"Have you learned nothing? Human technology is dangerous and ILLEGAL." the Gromble argued.

"That's alright. The Capo would be willing to fence it. He told me he wants in on the action!" Ickis professed.

"The Capo? Who's that?" wondered the Gromble.

"That would be MY father." Nesdak informed him.

"He's great! He's gonna make me part of the family someday, I'm already a goombah!" boasted Ickis.

The Gromble's eyes widened. "Oh my. That's... not a family you'll be marrying into, is it?" he questioned.

"Nope. Taranti an' Zupo are getting married though! She's a waitress an' he's an associate!" Ickis explained.

"I'm an enforcer too." Zupo added as he approached the group. "You rub me the wrong way, jamook. I'd just as soon get a place ready for you as not." he threatened.

"That's why Zupo's such a great host!" Ickis interjected. "He's already thinking about what table would be best for you sir! No wonder Del Pustule's has such a great reputation!"

"Uh... it's not the sort of reputation I thought it had." the Gromble admitted nervously.

"You're just lucky the Capo isn't in today! He'd have you fitted for cement shoes!" Zupo declared menacingly.

"That's his other job, working in construction!" Ickis detailed. "The Capo is a very important monster."

"Yeees, I'm sure he's got his tentacles in all the pies." the Gromble noted nervously.

"Are they pies on the menu now? I should tell Dad, he'd love it here!" Ickis opined.

"Slickis? You want him to be a part of all this?" The Gromble looked around despairingly.

"You know Slickis? He's a stand-up monster, never ratted on nobody." Zupo asserted.

"Yeah! That's my Dad." Ickis replied.

"Never had -him- in any brogata. Too bad, we could have made another marriage." Zupo declared.

"Oh no, I think he's done dating. Not that Taranti -isn't- repulsive, you're very lucky to have her Zupo!" Ickis proclaimed.

Zupo grinned. "You're alright shorty. Piacere." acknowledged Zupo.

"Piacere!" Ickis echoed happily.

Zupo pointed a claw at the Gromble. "You want I should do something about this joker, Nezz? Give him a turban maybe?" he questioned.

Nesdak sighed. "No. Even though Gromby's acting like a cafone today, I'll still give him a pass." Nesda allowed. Zupo frowned, but he left the Gromble alone and resumed his regular hosting duties.

The Gromble breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I had no idea you were... involved in something like this!" the Gromble confessed.

"La cosa nostra? That's always been a part of my life. But you never ASK about anything outside of the Academy, so I had saw no reason to make mention of it." Nesdak admitted.

"I see. I s'pose you learn something new everyday." the Gromble replied weakly.

"That's what makes her so smart! I -like- smart girls, don't you sir?" Ickis chirped.

"That depends on WHICH smart girls you are talking about." the Gromble growled.

Nesdak rolled her eyes. "Please sir, DON'T start this up again, you'll only embarrass yourself. Ickis and I are -friends-, and that's ALL there is to it." she maintained.

Understanding dawned at last for the Gromble. "So you're not here for anything... squishier? You are just talking the way friends do?" the Gromble sought confirmation.

"Jus' good friends." Ickis asserted. "You better take advice, never trust first impressions."

"And you -better- know where you stand!" the Gromble snapped. "Don't you DARE lecture -me-, Master Ickis!"

"He's such a good boy." Nesdak interjected.

"Ickis is a good boy?!" the Gromble murmured. He felt a little dizzy from the revelation.

"You look like you need to sit down, your Grombleness. Here, have my seat." Ickis offered graciously.

"I guess I -could- sit here, for a moment." the Gromble allowed.

"An' you should get somethin' to eat, keep your strength up. Would you like spughetti an' moth balls? It comes highly recommended." Ickis suggested.

"That's one of my favorites, Gromby. I'm sure you'll -love- it." Nesdak agreed. She wrapped a tentacle around the Headmaster's claws.

The Gromble blushed. "Oh my. Hasn't the weather been hideous lately?" he blurted out.

Ickis beamed. "Taranti will be by shortly. You should ask her about beverages sir. They have a list of gooze for grown-up monsters. Dad's fond of Kentucky Burble! He drinks it on business trips mostly, but won't keep it in the house, dunno why!" remarked Ickis.

The Gromble frowned in irritation. "Are you done, Master Ickis?" he inquired.

"Yup! Thanks for buying me a snack, Nesdak! Could you please hang on to my book for me? I'll come back for it later but I have to go do my homework now. I'm gonna spook a human so -spectacularly- Oblina will be asking me about it afterwards!" Ickis exclaimed.

"Sounds like fun. Run along and enjoy yourself, Ickis. Have a putrid day!" Nesdak called out.

"You bet! G'bye Nesdak. Have a great time your Grombleness. Guess I'll see you in class on Monday sir." Ickis responded. He waved farewell.

"What does Monday matter? I'm living for the weekend." the Gromble declared.

"I'm glad to hear you say that. You're such a hard worker Gromby, sometimes I worry you forget to slow down and smell the dead fish, the way Ickis does." Nesdak informed him. They watched Ickis wander away from the restaurant.

"Uptown girl, she's been living in her uptown world.

I'll bet she never had a backstreet guy!

Hope Miz Sublima never told her why!

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl!" Ickis announced boldly.

The Gromble beckoned the waitress over to refill the bottle of pond scum. "I'll drink to that." the Gromble allowed. He and Nesdak clinked the goblets together.

~~~The End.

Author's Note: I'm sorry there wasn't much of the other students in this story, although I'll try to give everybody their due in later adventures. It's fun to explore the dynamics between Ickis and the Gromble. They are always clashing, sometimes as a result of Ickis' negligent attitude towards school, sometimes it's because the Gromble's methods are too strict. And sometimes they are both the victims of circumstance, prodded into a misunderstanding. Whatever punishment the Gromble HAD intended for Ickis, I'm sure Zimbo will be facing worse. It won't stop him of course, some lessons just won't stick. Maybe he needs to get roughed up a little, I'm sure Zupo would gladly oblige! He's always willing to send a message on behalf of the administration.