So someone has asked me if I was trying to copy Broadway007's 'The Knife' series with this story. I just wanted to make it clear that I have not copied anyone's story. I have merely written about some things I have struggled with as a way to express my feelings. 'The Knife' series is amazing and I love it, but I would never copy it. I am sorry if I have offended the author or anyone else with this misconception.

Smut! I love smut!

I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter.

Read and review

xo

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Control

Chapter 10 – The First Time

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"I don't think I'm going to be able to wait until we get home," Tony said.

"You will," Ziva replied, "I am not having sex with you for the first time in a car on the side of the road."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Tony asked, in a concerned voice.

"Why would I not?" Ziva asked back.

"It's just that you were raped," Tony replied, "I understand if you're not ready to have sex and I'm fine with it too."

Ziva grabbed Tony's hand, "Tony, it has been over 3 months since you rescued me from that hell hole. I think I am ready and mentally stable enough to have sex."

"Okay then."

Tony put his foot down on the accelerator and Ziva watch the speed climb.

"Tony, what are you doing?"

"I'm impatient. You should know that by now."

"That I do," Ziva said with a laugh

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Tony was so keen to get inside his house that he dropped his keys when he was trying to unlock the front door.

"Seriously?" Tony said particularly loud.

"That is what happens when you go fast," Ziva said, "It is no fun for anyone."

"Hilarious," Tony said sarcastically.

When he finally opened the door, Ziva decided she would make him wait a little while longer.

When he grabbed her hand and started pulling her into the bedroom she said, "Actually I think I might have a shower while you unpack the car."

"So when I'm done?" Tony asked hopefully.

"When I am done showering, we will."

"Good."

"By the way," Ziva added, "I am showering completely alone."

Tony groaned as she walked away. Damn she could be stubborn when she wanted to be.

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Ziva was scared. She knew having a shower was a bad idea. It gave her time to think and that is one thing she didn't want to do. As the hot water cascaded over her, all she could think of was her scars. Tony hadn't seen them in so long and she didn't know how he would handle it. And if the truth be told, they made her feel ugly; like people couldn't stand looking at her body for more than a few seconds.

She saw Tony's razor and all she wanted to do was cut herself. She had cut for so long that she had figured out how to cut with a razor without having to take the blade out. What was wrong with adding another scar to a body and mind absolutely covered in them?

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Tony had unpacked the car and was sitting in his lounge room. All he could think about the night Ziva and himself were about to have. A desperate scream of "Tony" interrupted his thoughts. His mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusion; that Ziva had tried to kill herself again. He ran to the bathroom, while trying to convince himself that Ziva had just fallen over or couldn't find a towel.

He pushed the bathroom door open to find the shower still running but a soaking wet Ziva was standing in the middle of the room, crying and holding his razor. He was pleased to see she had no new cuts. Well not yet anyway, his mind screamed at him.

"Ziva, it's going to be fine," Tony said. Ziva dropped the razor and flung herself into his arms.

He tried to push her off slightly but she just held on tighter.

"I'm just trying to grab you a towel," he said and she loosened her grip. He wrapped her up in the towel, picked her up and carried her to his bed.

"What's going on?" he asked as he set her down. He lay down on the bed next to her, hoping she would talk.

"My scars," She choked out, "How could you love me when I am covered in scars?"

Tony propped himself up on his elbow and pushed Ziva's hair off her face. "You know when I ran into the bathroom, I didn't notice your scars. Right now, I'm not noticing your scars and I don't think I ever will notice them. They are just scars, a reminder of the battles you have faced, and won. They only tell us the past, not define your present or future, so don't let them control you. They are not ugly. They are part of you. And to me they are beautiful.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

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"I promise you I won't hurt you," Tony said, before he pulled her towel off and got her lie on her back.

He pulled on right wrist to his mouth and kissed the scar closest to her hand. Ziva winced and he said, "Your. Scars. Are. Not. Ugly," punctuating every word with a kiss.

He worked his way up her arm, kissing every single scar. He then started on her left arm. There were so many scars, way too many to count, but he didn't care. He just wanted Ziva to know she was beautiful and so were her scars.

He started on her right leg, at her foot and ended at her hip. He repeated this on the left leg. When he kissed a scar on her inner thigh that was particularly high up, he was pleased when he was rewarded with a groan. He then started on her torso, starting at the scars at her collarbones and on her breasts, finishing just above her pubic hair.

"Fuck me," Ziva groaned.

Tony looked right at her face, shocked. "What?"

"I said fuck me," Ziva repeated, "and I mean it."

Tony moved his lips to meet hers. Like every kiss they had ever shared, it was full of love and caring. But new feelings were starting to push through. Passion. Sexual desire. Longing. Ziva slipped her tongue into his mouth and deepened the kiss.

Tony broke the kiss to pull his shirt off and then they jumped straight back into it.

Ziva reached down and undid the zipper on his jeans. She pulled them off and then his underwear too. She was delighted to see he was already hard. She stroked his quivering member lightly. She could feel herself getting wetter and wetter.

"I want you inside of me now," Ziva groaned, and Tony was only too willing to comply. He rolled a condom onto his hard dick and positioned himself at Ziva's entrance.

"Ready?" he asked and Ziva nodded.

He pushed into her and she groaned. He waited for a second so Ziva could adjust to his size and then started to push in and out of her. When Ziva demanded that he go faster, he did. He pumped in and out of her, harder and faster, harder and faster. Ziva's groans only encouraged him further.

Tony could feel himself getting closer and closer to orgasming and so could Ziva. Ziva was the first to come, her vagina tightening around Tony's cock. This pushed Tony over the edge. He came with a series of groans. He gently pulled out of Ziva, took the condom off and disposed of it.

"Well that was fun," Ziva said. Tony nodded in agreement.

Tony had the last words of the night, "You are beautiful," before they both feel asleep.

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