Disclaimer: I do NOT own KHR.

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I can't take this anymore. It's too painful. No more… No more…

'Start fresh. New school, new friends… What could possibly go wrong?' I shaded my eyes with my hand while looking at the shining sun. "Yoshi! I can do it! Hahaha."

After the morning ceremony, I was surrounded by group of girls. They were squealing how cute and handsome I looked. I just smiled, acting oblivious to them, juts thanking them.

I was excited. Baseball is the only thing I care about and the baseball team here is one of the best. Being the regular for that team is my ultimate dream. If I have to, I will practice every day in order to get to that position. This is the only passion I have for anything and never will I give up baseball for anything.

After turning in the registration form to the club, I went to the class. The first meeting will be today after school.

I couldn't pay attention to class. How can I when the baseball meeting is so soon? My thoughts were solely on the field. The sandy field with white bases and the shortstops around so the ball does not stray to other places. The white bleachers facing the field and so much more! I just stared, memorizing the layout of my soon to be best friend that will stay with me for next three years.

The last bell rung, indicating the school is over. I eagerly ran to get to my new locker room where my new life will begin.

My hands halted when I heard voices. The voices I recognized as my soon to be teammate's voice.

"You know… That Yamamoto kid already piss me off." One voice said.

'Is this… the repeat of elementary school?' I thought as the heart that was so uplifting, so happy sank to the bottomless sea of dread. The day I had managed to fish it out with great effort once again was a fail.

"On the first day, he's so popular!" another angrily stated.

"Yeah. You know what? I'm going to be friends with him for the popularity. Who knows? I'll be popular too." I could just see the boy who said that smirk.

Just like always, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to strain the happy expression on my face. As brightly as I could, I opened the doors to the locker room and said, "Good afternoon!"

No one wants the real me. They just want to use me.

I always noticed a boy in the corner, always bullied because of his dameness. I never got why he would not fight back. He was teased, laughed at yet never showed a single tear, or sign of getting defeated. He looked forward to each day, actually trying.

I admired him for that. 'He doesn't have real friends like me… does he?' I thought hopefully. 'Maybe… Maybe we can be friends.'

He was alone since all the other teammates of his left him for him to clean alone. I felt bad for him at the same time; it was a great chance for me to ask him to be my friend that I have always longed for.

"Hey there, Tsuna!" I said with enthusiastic voice.

"Y-Yamamoto-san?! W-what are you d-doing here?" Tsuna stuttered.

"I came here to help you! Two people are better than one, right? It'll get done a lot faster, don't you think?" I asked with a big grin on my face like what I said was the most obvious thing in the world.

Tsuna nodded really fast and whispered under his breathe, "Thank you…"

We worked for a while and then, I decided that it was the right time to ask and spoke up, "Ne, Tsuna… Can I ask you a question?"

"S-sure…" the reply was very faint but I still heard him.

For the first time in years, I became sullen in front of somebody else. I never acted sad in front of oyaji either ever since that day. "I… I'm not good at baseball anymore. I don't know what to do… I stop making homeruns; my pitches are getting rusty… I don't know what to do…"

"Well… I-I guess you should… practice more?" was Tsuna's doubtful replies.

I brightened up. "Of course! Practice! I'll practice a lot! Hahaha!"

For the first time, someone actually was thinking for me. Someone actually was trying to help me. Even though this is small, he sounds sincere and thoughtful about it.

"W-well… Since we're done cleaning up… Good bye…" Tsuna briskly stood up and speed walked out.

I put all those thoughts to the side and smiled brightly and said, "Yeah, bye! See you tomorrow!"

Tsuna did not turn back and just walked away.

I waved a goodbye with a strained smile on my face. With hands behind my head, I walked out of the field and whistled a happy tune.

Disappointment was an understatement of what I felt. Does he not want to talk to me? Am I that uncomfortable?

Mom… Can I join you? I just want this pain to end. I thought Tsuna would be the one… but it seems like I'm wrong… Mom… I want to see you again…

A gentle wind felt good. With a bitter look, I looked at the cast on my arm. My happiness was now gone. No more.

I closed my eyes and spread my arms outwards and my head raised. I slowly opened my eyes, staring at the sky. It seemed to be embracing me just as I wanted to embrace it. 'Is mom there? In the sky?' I thought. 'Mom… Take me now. Please… Let me be by your side, away from this life… Away from this world…'

"Kyaaa! Yamamoto!" One girl shrieked.

"Oh my god! Yamamoto is about to jump off the roof!" a boy panicked.

"Someone! Get a teacher or anyone that can help!"

"Yamamoto! Get off the roof!" I looked back with a sad, bitter smile. It was my baseball captain.

I said nothing and turned away from the new crowd that formed, I guess, after hearing that I was going to jump off the roof.

"Suicide isn't everything, Yamamoto! Let's talk!"

"Why are you doing this?!"

Voices of remorse filled the roof, but I knew that they were fakes. Even if they are talking like that, there's no emotion. They are just saying that as a show. They really don't care whether I die or not.

Still… Nobody notices… Not a single person…

One voice stopped me from my tracks though. It was the voice full of concern, voice that screamed that the person cared.

"Yamamoto!" I turned around only to see Tsuna panting. Sweat covering his face, the eyebrows scrunching up, indicating that he was worried.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"The baseball god has left me." I held up my broken arm and Tsuna gasped, covering his mouth.

"Your arm… What happened?"

"I practiced a bit too much yesterday I guess…" I muttered under my breath.

Tsuna looked sad after that but then looked straight into my eyes. "Suicide is not the answer, Yamamoto-san, and you know that."

I grimaced as he continued. "How do you think your father will feel when his only son dies at such a young age? Also, how about your friends? All your friends are here! They are all trying to get you to stop from jumping!" Tsuna pointed at everyone who was present at the rooftop.

"Oyaji can live without me. He's strong, while I'm not. They'll move on after a while. It's not like my existence here was so vital everyone will be really heartbroken if I die." I replied with a firm voice without any hesitance.

"Then… how about me?"

That threw me off track.

True friend… Does such a thing really exist?

I gave Tsuna a smile. To me, it was strained but I am used to giving out fake smiles, so I knew Tsuna just saw a happy smile.

"I'm sorry! I guess I wasn't thinking right!" I scratched my head. I climbed back over the fence and clapped Tsuna's shoulder. "Of course Oyaji will be sad. He'll get over it but it would take more than it did to mom."

Wrapping my arm around Tsuna helped me hear his small sigh of relief.

True friend… Am I allowed to have such a thing?

"Yamamoto. This is Gokudera-kun." Tsuna introduced me to a silver haired boy.

"Hi!" I beamed a smile while putting my hand out for a handshake.

"Tch. Stop putting up that disgusting smile." Gokudera crossed his arm while glaring at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Stop smiling you idiot!" Gokudera yelled at me.

Tsuna stopped Gokudera and said, "What Gokudera-kun means is that you shouldn't put up those fake smiles; especially in front of us. We're your friends, right? There's no need for you to act happy."

Mask… He… noticed?

"How… How did you know that the smile was fake?" I whispered, looking down at the ground.

"Of course Jyudaime would notice that stupid fake smile! Do you take Jyudaime as an idiot?!" Gokudera growled as he hit my head with his fist.

My head stung from his punch but the burning sensation on my chest hurt even more. It was like someone lit my chest on fire.

Tears prickled my eyes for the first time in years.

One by one, tears just dripped down my face to the ground.

"Hahaha… What is this?" I wiped the tear with my finger and stared at it.

Tsuna put his hand on my shoulder and said, "It's okay to cry."

Tears just trailed down my face like there was no tomorrow. With my shoulders shaking really hard, I tried not to cry but I couldn't help it. All the feelings that I have vented up in my body just freely escaped.

"Did you know, Yamamoto? It's okay to cry. Happy, sad, worry, everything! We have to express them somehow and in order to express them, you have to laugh, cry, and comfort others. You don't always have to laugh. I love it when you laugh but… It's painful just to laugh all the time, so even if it's just in front of us, cry. Let it all out."

Finally… I have a true friend

Finally… Someone finally noticed my mask, my fake happiness…

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