Dear Fan fiction,

That's right, I'm BACK! [Insert generic bullshit excuse for not doing anything]. My computer broke. My files got destroyed by a fire. (Backups people. They're a good idea.) I had to save the world. Pretty much what you'd expect from a typical FF writer.

Today's hate is… that's right…. Those fucking authors who can't rate their fucking stories.

Unfortunately, today is going to be rather short, because there's only so much that can be said here. All right, here it is. Lights, cameras, acti—Ow, no, fuck, too bright. Dim lights, cameras, action!

So what is this rating story thing you talk of, my lord? Well, I'm sure you know that Fanfiction has this rating system in place: Pretty much identical to MPAA Movie ratings: K (everyone can read; nobody uses this), K+ (Almost everyone can read; Nobody uses this either), T (Teenagers*, everyone uses this), M (Mature, or basically "Warning: Porn and/or 300 violence* ahead").

Unfortunately, nobody actually every uses this to good effect: Like above stated, everything is either rated T or M.

"chaos story where percy reks shit and annabeth cheets on him" "you're average chaos story! Plz read and leve review! Rated t because im paranoid, lolololol."

Well, sir—Wait, no, you're not old enough to be called that. Well, kiddo, FUCK YOU. ROYALLY.

People, for the love of god, please rate your stories accordingly. For example, this story, if you read the description, contains language (no fucking shit), sexual themes, and unfriendly statements. Look, I'm not asking you to write your college thesis on why your story is rated x. Just a sentence or two. "This story is rated T because of language and violence." "This story is rated E because it's about ponies." "This story is rated M because of lemons" (why the fuck does Fanfiction call sex scenes "lemons?").

Honestly, how hard is it? Somewhere, you're saving a kid from having to receive The Talk 4 years early.

So yeah.

Also, for the love of god, please fucking stop saying "rated x because I'm paranoid" "rated x to be safe." It's vague, bullshitting and just eye-twitching.

Why the fuck is Heroes of Olympus "YA Fiction,"

Percy Jackson.

* Apparently, people back in ancient times were 99% arteries and 1% larynx for screaming.

Next up: Plot clichés. Soon, I promise! (and by that, I mean sometime in the next 2 years or so) And as always, you're welcome to argue (please use a registered account so I can reply)