Title:

By: blaineandsamevanderson

Paring: Blaine/Sam

Rating:

Warnings/Tags:

Summary: About Sue's order that Blaine has to wear a thong under his Cheerio uniform… What if Sam took him shopping, cuz as a former stripper, he has real world experience with men's thongs and what works and doesn't work… and maybe he gets all hot and bothered by Blaine when he accidentally walks in to the dressing room while Blaine is trying one on…..

Notes: Sorry for any typos. My transcription software doesn't always understand what I say and I don't always catch the mistakes. I have trouble typing things by hand since I suffered an injury last year to my right hand and it seizes up if I try to do too much.

From the amount of pain she seemed intent on putting her Cheerios through each practice, Blaine was fairly sure Sue Sylvester had been a sadist in a past life.

Or, you know, she was just a sadist.

Towel wrapped around his hips, Blaine wandered over to the corner of the locker room where his locker was situated.

"Hey," Sam commented upon his arrival, grinning up at him from his seat on the bench. Synchronized swimming practice must have just let out before the Cheerios, as his hair was damp from his own shower, skin slightly red from the chlorine. "How went practice?"

"Oh, I think I pulled every muscle in my body," Blaine groaned, opening his locker and pulling out a change of clothes. He paused, sorting through the uniform, before he grumbled, "You've got to be kidding me."

"What's wrong?"

Frustrated, Blaine sat down. "She stole my underwear."

Sam immediately looked alarmed. "What? That's just a new kind of creepy that usually requires restraining orders…."

"Pretty sure it wasn't done with perverted intent," Blaine assured him, flushing and poking at the scrap of fabric atop the uniform. "She wants me to wear a thong so I won't have any…panty lines."

To his relief, Sam didn't laugh, simply reached out and snagged the thong with a finger, holding it up. He studied it for a moment, then said, "No. Just no, Dude. That lace will irritate your junk in ways you don't even want to think about, these little strings will bite into your hips and you need to get the right size or you're gonna be miserable. You can't just go buy someone else's guess."

He sounded deadly serious and Blaine raised an eyebrow at him. "Do I want to know where this knowledge about men's thongs comes from?"

Snorting, Sam dropped the dreaded thong. "Ex-stripper, remember? I had to find ones I could dance and writhe around in without constant wedgies or accidental nuttage exposure. C'mon, let's find you something less…yuck."

As Blaine gaped, trying in vain not to get a mental image of what Sam had just described, Sam pulled open his own locker and grabbed a pair of boxer briefs. "I know wearing another dude's underwear is weird, but I wouldn't recommend freeballing in either your Cheerio pants or your jeans."

"Thanks," Blaine said, accepting the simple black cotton gratefully and Sam averted his eyes, observing locker room etiquette as Blaine quickly dressed.

An hour later, they were standing in the Men's Intimates department of Nordstrom's and Blaine was shocked at the array of thongs, g-strings and enhancement garments available to men.

Blaine was a simple, CK boxer briefs man, thank you very much.

"Quality is important," Sam said, eyeing the selection critically. "Cotton is a good place to start. It breathes."

"Okay," Blaine said, accepting the Emporio Armani thongs that were pressed into his hands and gazing at a display. "Cock Sox? Really, who comes up with these names? And what are they?"

"Uh," Sam started and Blaine was surprised to see his friend's eyes drop to his crotch, a blush creeping up Sam's neck. "They, um, kinda of scoop your bits up and present them front and center…."

He balled a fist and placed it in front of his own zipper and Blaine winced. "Not for subtlety then?"

"No."

"I'm just going to try these on."

Alone in the dressing room, Blaine sighed as he tugged the thong into place. The black waistband sat comfortably on his hips and the gray cotton was very soft, covering his private bits surprisingly well. In the back, the cotton barely brushed the rounded top swell of his ass and the thin thong rested in the cleft between his cheeks without digging in….

It was a lot less horrible than he expected. Honestly, he looked pretty good and, when he pulled on his red Cheerio pants, there were no VPL's.

"Dammit," he muttered unhappily.

"You okay?" Sam asked from outside the door.

"Yeah," Blaine replied, opening the lock and letting Sam into the small room. "What do you think?"

He turned his back to Sam, who studied him for a moment. "No lines…and Dude, Tina was right. You do have an awesome ass."

The laughter that bubbled up out of Blaine's chest was almost hysterical and he turned to lean back against a wall and say, "Thank you, Sam."

"What's so funny?" Sam asked, clearly confused by Blaine's reaction.

Heaving a sigh, Blaine admitted, "Things have been…weird this year. Like, since Kurt left for New York, the only…positive sexual contact I've had was at the wedding and that was closure and…Jeeze, I shouldn't tell you this! You're going to be uncomfortable."

Sam shook his head. "It's fine. Just get it out."

"I cheated, it made me feel so horrible and I learned one night stands aren't for me. Sebastian flirts, but I have enough self-respect not to end up with someone who nearly blinded me… And the girls! I've never been in the closet McKinley, but oh God! The crushes and the groping and kissing and the butt slapping and Tina's VapoRub weirdness…So many girl hands on me. I have no interest, but it doesn't seem to matter…."

Now Sam smiled at him. "That's been building up for a while, huh?"

"You have no idea," Blaine sighed. "I'm a tiny bit frustrated."

Sam nodded. "I kinda got that… That the reason we're here though, that type of thong work for you?"

Blinking at the change of topic, Blaine nodded. "Yeah."

"Let's get out of here then."

The salesman gave him a few speculative glances as he rang up Blaine's purchases and they left, grabbing smoothies for the ride home.

Discussing their plan to unseat Coach Sylvester took up most of the drive and Blaine was mid-Cheerio practice horror story by the time they reached his room.

"…so, I had to pick Kitty up and she threatened to set my hair on fire if I dropped her, which is good incentive, but also unnerving and while I had her up there, my shirt rose up and Coach started screaming about hiding the belly fat! No wonder so many of the girls on the team have body issues!"

"She's crazy," Sam said, reaching out and smoothing a hand across Blaine's polyester covered abdomen. "You're perfect."

Sam's touch caused Blaine to draw a deep breath and stutter a bit. "I…I've come to accept my tummy is here to stay. Not everyone can look like Captain America."

"That's good, cuz some of us prefer Iron Man."

Blaine blinked and cocked his head to the side. "What? Cap is your favorite!"

With a huff, Sam said, "Yeah, I know, but that's not… I'm tryinto… Robert Downey Jr is just really attractive, you know?"

A smile crept across Blaine's face. "Sam, are you trying to make me feel better by saying a fellow…compact, dark-haired man is good-looking? That's very sweet."

Flushing, Sam smiled. "I always thought Cap and Tony…."

"Oh, yeah, so much UST and repressed…." Blaine said, voice trailing off Sam raised a hand and touched Blaine's cheek.

"Dude, you're totally the Tony to my Cap."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Oh," he breathed, startled but seeing sincerity in Sam's eyes. "Wow… That's…."

The first kiss was whisper soft, a barely there brush of Sam's dewy lips on his own and he paused before withdrawing to allow Blaine moment to react. Returning the kiss, Blaine smiled a bit against Sam's mouth and wound his arms around Sam's neck as he was pulled closer.

Honestly, kissing Sam was better than Blaine had imagined, a flood of sensations, lush lips, warm tongue, soft sighs and moans, strong hands and hard body… It was an intoxicating rush.

When Sam finally pulled back, panting, lips red and swollen, he grinned blindingly Blaine. "I know this is crazy sudden, Dude, but we've been like… platonically dating all year, so…Wanna date for real?"

"You want to date me?" Blaine asked, catching up. "Jumping right out of the Bi closet with a bang, huh?"

Sam chuckled and kissed him again. "C'mon, Dude, do I get to tell my mom I've got a boyfriend when I call her on Saturday or not?"

Smiling, Blaine replied, "Yes. You can tell her."

"Awesome." He leaned in for another kiss, but Blaine turned his head.

"Just wait for a second," he said, taking a deep, centering breath. "Considering I had no idea you were even interested in men until just now…."

"I'm Fort Knox for secrets. People tell me stuff all the time, cuz they know I don't blab."

"Clearly," Blaine agreed. "Anyhow, kissing is good, but otherwise we should probably not go too fast… Is that okay with you?"

Sam smiled. "As long as we can kiss and cuddle, sure... But can I… You were so worked up earlier about the girls touching your butt. I want to, so if they do it again, you can think of my hands on you. You'd rather have me touch you, right?"

Biting back a groan, Blaine said, "Yeah, okay. That sounds good."

Then he grabbed Sam's shoulders and shoved him onto the bed, straddling his hips and diving in for another kiss as Sam's big, strong hands slid around his hips to squeeze his ass gently. Sam's kneading hands encouraged Blaine to roll his hips slightly, grinding his trapped erection against Sam's.

"This is more than kissing," he said, nuzzling at Sam's neck before biting gently and jerking back. "Sorry."

"Huh?" Sam asked, arms tightening to keep Blaine from moving away. "No, it's good."

Flushing, Blaine kissed his chin. "I, uh, that habit. I tend to bite at necks and you aren't a turtleneck and scarf sort of guy…."

Sam cut off his words with a firm kiss, then tipped his head back. "Go nuts, Dude. I like having my neck kissed and stuff."

Permission given, Blaine placed a kiss gently on Sam's jugular, then ran his tongue along the strong tendons and latched onto the smooth skin below his jaw, nibbling and using suction.

Moaning, Sam shifted under him, arching up and pulling Blaine's hips down at the same time, causing lovely friction.

"Blaine, are you home?"

His mother's voice was pretty much the equivalent of having a glass of ice water dumped on his crotch and Blaine broke away from Sam with a groan. Sam blinked up at him, flushed and deliciously ruffled, his lips puffy and kissed red, as Blaine called, "Yes, mom."

Obviously, he'd misjudged how far away she was, as the door swung open. "Oh good, I wanted…Oh…hello."

They must've been a sight, rumpled and obviously post-makeout session, Sam sprawled on his back with Blaine, in full Cheerio uniform, hovering over him.

Obviously deciding to embrace the absurdity of the situation, Sam tossed Blaine's mother a winning smile. "Good afternoon, Ma'am. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Sam."

"Hello, Sam," she said as Blaine scrambled off of Sam. "Blaine, what are you wearing?"

He touched the WMHS appliqué on his chest. "I'm co-captain of the Cheerios."

She raised a brow. "You know your father has an army of lawyers tasked with digging into what the woman did and is planning to sue her into the next millennium…and into federal prison."

"We're working our own angle," Blaine assured her and Sam nodded.

"An inside attack."

"All right. There are bags in my car. Could you…."

"I'll get them, ma'am," Sam said, bouncing to his feet and trotting off.

After a moment, Blaine looked at his mother, who commented, "Well, he's cute."

Smiling, Blaine nodded. "He really is, isn't he?"

Dating Sam wasn't actually all that different from their friendship, other than the handholding, kisses and intense cuddling (but those were rarely done in public). No one batted an eye when Sam slung an arm around Blaine's shoulders or later hand on his back as they walked down the hall.

Everyone just dismissed them as being Sam and Blaine and they wondered how long it would take their friends and schoolmates to catch on.

Three really incredible weeks passed and no one was the wiser. It was the end of the day and Blaine was pulling his jacket out of his locker when Sam touched his arm, stopping him. Turning, Blaine asked, "What's up?"

Sam bit his lip and said, "I want to give you something."

He was clearly nervous and Blaine smiled softly. "You don't need to give…."

His words trailed off as Sam slept his letterman jacket from his shoulders and held it out to Blaine, who touched one of the battered sleeves. "I want you to wear my jacket."

The jacket with Sam's name, number, varsity letters and team patches. It was an incredibly sweet gesture (not one currently in fashion at McKinley, as the jocks seemed to prefer wearing their own jackets proudly) and, in a hushed voice, Blaine asked, "Won't you be cold?"

Smiling, Sam said, "I've got my other jacket in the choir room."

"Okay," Blaine replied. "I'd be honored."

There were stares and whispers from other students in the hall as Blaine slid Sam's jacket on. It was far too big in the shoulders and the arms swallowed his hands, but Sam smiled and helped him roll back the sleeves, interlacing their fingers as they headed down the hall toward the choir room.

"Staking a public claim?" Blaine teased with a grin.

"People who are way too fond of hickeys should not throw shade on their boyfriend's romantic gestures."

"True enough," Blaine conceded, giving Sam's hand squeeze.

With a sigh, Sam admitted, "I saw Celeste grabbing your butt during practice yesterday."

Blaine frowned. The girl was half octopus sometimes. "Yeah, she's a bit grabby, but, like you said, I just think about how much better your hands feel…."

"Well," Sam murmured, "Pretty soon everyone in school know that you're my boyfriend. Maybe that'll help with the 'hands off' message."

Grinning now, Blaine said, "This subtle possessive streak he seemed to be embarrassed about is very sexy."

Sam smiled. "I thought you'd prefer a romantic gesture over being pinned against the lockers and kissed during a rush between classes."

"Both have their merits."

"I'll remember that," Sam said as they stepped into the choir room and were met with a barrage of questions and comments.

"You two are dating? How did that happen?"

"Unique is surprised, but approves."

"Aw, you figured out you were dating! *Squeak squeak*!"

"This both does and does not shock me."

"So hot."

"Jesus is love, brothers."

"I'm a little confused…."

"They finally realized their hot for each other, how is that confusing?"

"Aw, you two are so cute together!"

"Congrats, guys. When did this happen?"

By the time Mr. Shue arrived, everyone had settled down, though Britt did continue to make the occasional dolphin noises.

So… Pretty much a typical day.