Waterfront Confessions…to a Cat
Pairing: Regina Mills/Emma Swan (Swan Queen)
Rating T for Language
Disclaimers: All characters belong to ABC. Not mine. I don't want them…well, except for Regina so I can hug her every day.
Summary: Emma finds herself sharing with a four legged pest. Based on a tumblr prompt (that will be mentioned at the end with my Author Notes.) Thanks iIovett. I hope this didn't disappoint.
Un-beta'd , but triple checked. Still due to the quality of Microsoft Spell Check, please forgive any typos.
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Ruby Lucas was halfway through her morning run when she spotted a familiar blonde sitting on an isolated bench on the docks. She had heard everything that had happened with Regina and Cora and while she worried about the effects on her oldest friend Snow, she knew that Emma had been even more conflicted and so she changed her path and headed over to the bench.
"Hey," Ruby greeted her friend, concerned by the morose expression on her face.
"Hey," Emma replied tonelessly.
"So…it's kind of cold outside to be harbor watching," Ruby mentioned casually as she took a seat beside the obviously distracted blonde.
"I have coffee," Emma replied holding up the steaming cup. "You know that kitten has been glaring at me for the last fifteen minutes."
Ruby frowned at the change of subject and then followed Emma's gaze. "Cat's don't really glare Em," she said and then had to laugh because sure enough the little dark brown kitten was definitely giving Emma the stink eye.
"Well okay, that one does. Maybe he wants your coffee?"
"Nope. I tried to pet him and he hissed at me. Then he just plopped down and has been glaring at me ever since. It's kind of creepy. "
"He's cute," Ruby said, noting the chocolate brown fur, adorable big bright eyes and the odd crown shaped mark on his tiny forehead, "even if he is irritated with you."
Emma snorted. "If I didn't know better I'd say he was Regina's familiar."
And there's the opening, Ruby thought. "Have you seen her?"
"Not since she destroyed that stupid love potion and we left her in the woods."
"Sometimes I think I'd be happy to have her come into the diner and insult me," Ruby said sadly. "I kind of miss her."
"What? Why?" Emma said shocked.
"I don't know. I just…I'm worried about her after what went down with Cora and what Mary Margaret did."
"She was protecting us," Emma said with a firmness that didn't match the doubt in her eyes.
"Emma, I love Snow…Mary Margaret like a sister. I'd do anything for her," Ruby said and then looked away. "I would kill my own mother for her. In fact I did."
Emma whipped around to look at Ruby in shock. "What?"
"It was an accident," Ruby said, the horror of that brief moment still hurting her heart, "but she was trying to kill Snow and we fought and she died."
"Ruby I'm so sorry," Emma said, horrified by what her friend had gone through.
"Yet you don't feel any sympathy that Regina killed her mother because she was tricked into it?"
"That's different."
"How? Emma, Regina thought she was doing good for once. She was going to give her mother her heart back and finally have somebody who truly loved her. And she did have that…for all of five seconds and like everyone else in her life, it went away."
Emma thought about what Gold had said about how badly Regina wanted love. Emma couldn't wrap her brain around the concept. She didn't even want to because that would ruin her happy little notion of good vs. evil. It would taint what she'd come to know about her friend and mother and the guilt at how she'd flayed the emotionally fragile woman for no other reason than self-righteous hypocrisy, would be almost too painful to bear.
"Regina and Cora were hell bent on getting Gold's dagger," Emma argued almost desperately. "Cora was going to become the Dark One. We couldn't let that happen."
"No you couldn't. However, I'm thinking that there would have been far more honor had Snow killed Cora herself but she didn't. She took the one thing she KNEW drove Regina's every move, getting her mother's love, and she used that. She betrayed Regina again but now Regina will have to live with the fact that she is the one who did it. Just like her father. Just like Daniel the second time. Can you even begin to imagine what that must feel like? How she'll have to live with that every second of every day of the rest of her very long life?"
The problem was, Emma could imagine it. If she allowed her mind to slip into Regina's shoes for even a second, the horror of what she'd been manipulated into doing was overwhelming.
"She was going to poison Henry…again," Emma continued to protest, even though her heart was no longer in it. She was briefly diverted by what appeared like a sneer on the still glaring kitten's face. Weird.
"Henry told me what happened at the well," Ruby said. "She wasn't going to poison him. She just wanted to make him love her, or at least think he did, just like she did Graham. Jesus Emma. What has her life been that she has so little understanding of how to love?"
Emma was surprised by the way Ruby's voice broke and even more shocked when the kitten suddenly jumped on Ruby's lap and climbed up to her shoulder, rubbing against the distraught woman's cheek almost comfortingly.
Her heart feeling as if were nothing but shredded tissue paper, she reached out to pet the kitten, thinking it had gotten over its attitude but learning differently when he hissed and swiped at her hand.
"Fucking cat," Emma grumbled, feeling unaccountably jealous as the kitten seemed to bask in Ruby's gentle affections. "Why does he let you pet him? You're a wolf for crying out loud. The cat's natural enemy."
Ruby did a quick check before petting the soft fur and chuckling at the soft rumbling purr tickling her ear. "Maybe she's not in the mood for Sherriff Cranky Pants."
Emma sighed. "Maybe we should just drop her off at Regina's. They obviously have a lot in common."
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She had no idea why, but Emma found herself on the same bench the next day. Sure enough, her new kitten nemesis appeared and sat in the same spot glaring at her once again.
"Hello Your Majesty," Emma quipped to the kitten, her lips lifting as the kitty's whiskers twitched in what could only be annoyance. "Maybe I should call you Queenie…" the laid back ears told Emma she was coming close to crossing the line, if the cat could understand her that is.
"I'm not proud of myself you know," she finally said looking back at the kitten. "I'm not proud of how I handled the whole Archie thing and I'm sure as hell not proud of how I reacted to what happened with Regina's mom. "
To Emma's surprise, the kitten mewed and the gaze appeared slightly less hostile and she took it as permission to continue, despite questioning her sanity for talking to a cat.
"It's just easier you know? To take it out on Regina. I mean I tried to believe her when she was accused of killing Archie. I did, right until Gold gave me that thing to see Pongo's memories. To accept anything other than what I saw…Hell, I'm still getting used to all this magic crap and given my track record with people, well I always expected her to fall back on her old ways and so in my mind it wasn't that big of a leap. I mean how was I to know Cora was here?" she finished somewhat defensively.
The kitten blinked as if totally unimpressed with Emma's explanation and Emma found her lips lifting as she once again thought about the many times Regina Mills had looked at her with the exact same expression.
"Okay, I will admit that I over reacted. I just felt so betrayed and I just wanted to hurt her like I thought she hurt me." Emma said and then laughed. "Yeah don't give me that look Queenie, I know it was stupid. Damn but you remind me of Regina. Has she been giving lessons in arrogance?"
"Meow," the kitten offered blandly while deciding to give herself an unimpressed grooming.
"Yeah well if I'm boring you, feel free to go chase a mouse or something," Emma muttered, finding herself more amused than anything as the kitten seemed to sigh and stopped her bath.
"I hate what Mary Margaret did," she said soberly, letting a little of the anger she felt come through. "I honestly do and it makes me sick to think of what Regina felt when she realized what she'd done, but how can I turn my back on the one person who befriended me when I got here, who stood by me through everything? How can I turn my back on my mother after I spent my whole life looking for her?"
Emma had to pause, feeling her emotions threaten to overwhelm her again. She cocked her head and looked at her four-legged audience now watching her as if she was more fascinating than a ball of string.
"It's funny I guess," she continued. "When Gold came by and told us Regina was out for blood all I could think about was how she was going to take everything from me and I had to do whatever it took to stop her. At that moment, I knew I had become her. I had a kid who hated me for lying and a woman hell bent on ripping him and my family away from me. How crazy is that? Did you just lift your little kitty eyebrow at me?" Emma asked incredulously.
"Meow."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Smartass," she muttered and then sighed. "It may surprise you to know that at the well the other day, my heart was hurting so bad for Regina I could hardly stand it," she admitted, desperately relieved that nobody, especially Archie Hopper was in the near vicinity to hear her baring her soul to a small kitten.
Emma leaned her head back and closed her eyes, feeling the weird feline gaze still on her and somehow she found it more coaxing than creepy. "David, Neal and I stood there all badass and threatening, prepared to kick her magical ass all over Storybrooke. Then I heard her telling Henry, her own son that she'd be happy even if he only pretended to love her. Jesus Christ," Emma swallowed the lump in her throat and swiped angrily at the tears that stung her eyes at the remembrance. "And then I stood there and watched her give up even that hope simply because Henry asked her to. Fuck," she choked out, trying not to cry and embarrass herself even further. "Regina loves him so much but the woman has absolutely no idea how to show it and that is just so fucking sad. And that's because she was raised by a woman who'd ripped out her own heart before she was every born. Shit. How is someone supposed to learn how to love when their own parents aren't even capable of it?"
Emma's eyes dropped to the kitten that was hissing by now, but she looked more distressed than angry. She was concerned for the little animal but couldn't seem to stop the waterfall spewing from her mouth.
"Even then, even witnessing Regina's heart break all over again, I still couldn't stand up for her," she said ashamed. "I was so damned afraid that if I let myself defend her, I'd lose everything, just as she had. I'd lose any grip I've ever had on what's wrong and right and even worse, that I would never again look at Mary Margaret the same way. Shit," Emma said plunging her hands in her hair in frustration.
"I know it was selfish," she said tiredly, "but I finally had a family and I was afraid to lose it. I was afraid I'd be all alone again just like Regina, so it was easier to just blow over what Mary Margaret did and heap all the blame on her because it was expected and…and even though I knew better, even though I knew how easily her heart could break, I figured it simply wouldn't bother her."
The kitten merely blinked at her and had an odd expression on its face causing Emma to wonder if kittens could actually cry. Given the freak show that was Storybrooke, it wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility.
"And there's something else," she admitted, leaning closer to the kitten, relieved it didn't reach out and scratch her eyes out, "the truth is, I have feelings for Regina. I do care for her, way more than I should. I mean, believe it or not, she's about the sanest person in this place and that's saying something. We were finally getting closer and she became a sense of calm that I hadn't felt in so long and I found myself just totally mesmerized by the emotions that practically shouted at me from her eyes no matter what expression she wore on her face. And sweet baby Jesus is she beautiful." Emma seriously hoped nobody heard that little sigh she just gave as she pictured the former Mayor in all her arrogant splendor.
"She makes my heart race anytime she comes into a room," she continued, more to herself than the nosy feline, feeling ridiculously relieved to be saying all of this out loud. "God even that attitude of hers is sexy, but then, after Archie's supposed murder, I got scared and fucked it all up and I don't know how to fix it or to even stop doing it. When I found out what happened with Cora, the only thing my heart wanted was to…" Emma paused, suddenly afraid to verbalize the rest of her feelings for the cantankerous former Queen.
The kitten suddenly pounced into Emma's lap, causing a startled and decidedly un-savior-like squeak. Emma pretended she didn't just imagine hearing a whispered 'oh for God's sake' coming from the vicinity of the furry bundle of claws.
"Meow," the kitten batted gently at Emma's face, causing her to smile despite herself.
"What? Are you telling me to get on with it? Damn but you're awfully bossy for a critter that eats rats." The baring of little kitten teeth had Emma chuckling.
"Fine your Majesty," she said, acknowledging that just speaking these things out loud had already released an enormous weight from her shoulder.
"When I heard what happened with Cora," she repeated, "all I wanted to do was to find Regina and hold her because I knew there was nobody else who would. Maybe if I had…maybe if someone had shown her years ago that they actually gave a shit about her, none of this would have happened and she would finally be happy and it scares the hell out of me to realize I want to be the one who makes her happy."
"Meow."
Emma looked at the kitten, once again baffled by its almost human like expressions. This one looked remarkably like panic. Unable to help herself, she pulled the kitten to her chest and held it as she should have held Regina and stroked its fur. Instinctively she dropped a kiss on the odd little crown shaped mark on her head and in a blink of an eye and a swirl of purple smoke, she suddenly found herself with a lap full of Evil Queen.
"Holy fuck!" Emma shouted, nearly dumping Regina on the ground.
"Well, eloquent as always I see," Regina managed drily as she gracefully untangled herself from the Sherriff to sit beside her on the bench.
"What. The. Fuck Regina?" Emma was torn by fury and humiliation that she'd just poured her guts out to the one person she didn't want to have them.
"That wasn't supposed to happen," Regina muttered to herself, apparently ignoring Emma's outraged protest.
"Well it did," Emma snarled. "Did you enjoy the free show? Was this some big joke to you?" Once again, anger and betrayal threatened to have her lashing out and pushing away from the woman who lived to make her life a nightmare.
Regina shrugged, not meeting Emma's gaze, afraid that her casual demeanor would be totally discredited by the tears she knew were in her eyes. "Did you mean it?" she asked quietly.
Emma huffed, sighed, and grumbled as she tried to get her emotions under control. She was about to go off on another tirade about Regina's deceptive behavior when she replayed everything she'd just said. She'd hurt this woman so many times because of her fear and she simply couldn't do it anymore.
Swallowing hard, she cautiously reached out and gently took Regina's chin, pulling her dark eyes to hers.
"Every word," she said softly, sliding her hand under soft dark hair to rest at the nape of Regina's neck.
The two women stared at each other for a long moment before Emma heard a trapped groan coming from Regina's throat. Her own eyes watered, knowing the woman was fighting so hard to stay emotionless.
"Come here," she said softly and gently pulled Regina's head to her shoulder while wrapping her arms around the violently trembling body, her eyes closing sympathetically as choked sobs started to spill from the other woman. She didn't tell her it was okay, or that everything would be alright, because she wasn't sure it would be. All she could do was finally be the support that this woman had needed for so very long.
Finally, Regina's tears faded to occasional sniffles and then stopped. Emma let Regina rest against her for a long while before pulling away and looking into the beautiful dark eyes that had always captivated her.
She placed a hand on Regina's cheek, wiping the tears from her soft skin. "No matter what happens Regina, I promise you that from this point on, I will always be here for you, if you'll give me another chance."
"I hate your mother," Regina stated, her voice raspy from crying.
"I know you do," Emma said, even though it hurt to hear it. Then, because she'd wanted to for so long and because she knew Regina needed it, she slowly leaned forward and placed her lips against Regina's, moaning softly at the sensation that paled in comparison to her imagination. It was a chaste kiss but it spoke volumes for both women about healing and possibilities. Emma pulled away and rested her forehead against Regina's.
"By the way, next time you change into an animal, can it be something other than a cat? I'm allergic," Emma asked as she began to sneeze.
The End.
A/N: I Received this intriguing prompt from ilovett on tumblr suggesting Regina turn herself into a kitten with a patch and Emma eventually kisses the kitten and it turns Regina back. I found it totally interesting despite or because of my total aggravation with the Swan part of Swan Queen so I decided to give it a go.
A/N 1: This turned out to be more of an angsty Emma POV story than I'd intended. I wanted her to try and explain why she has acted the way she has in a manner that would make me like her again haha. And the implication is that Regina won't kill MM. I just didn't find a place for her to say it that wouldn't ruin the mood I was going for.
A/N 2: I remember reading a really awesome story a while back about Regina becoming a cat, (wish I could remember the name of it darn it) so I hope this isn't too similar. My apologies if it is. Any similarities are completely coincidental.
A/N 3: Emma's cat allergies operate on a delayed reaction. :-D