Fortunately, Ron had spent time in a body shaped not all that differently from Shego's before. He had experience. He could run and dive and tumble in a female form just as well as he could in his own body.

Unfortunately, he was Ron, and that wasn't very well. He ended up deploying the chute several second too late, crashing through branches at high speed, and barely missing slamming into one of the larger tree trunks. High overhead, the plane spiraled past on an unstoppable corkscrew flight to who-knew-where. He'd somehow gotten the controls to lock up while he was messing with them; Killigan would be able to get them unstuck before the place run out of fuel.

Well, he hoped, at least.

He took one step and fell over. Great. And now I'm tangled in my chute.

"Cuddle! Cuddle! It's all that we can do! We get in our cuddle huddle and we're gonna cuddle you!"

"Ehh..."

"Rooooon! If you don't sing it, the sugar pixie pony won't come back to life!"

"Kimmy-Kim, it's a DVD. The ending isn't going to change because you don't-"

"Ron!" Kim's face fell. "This isn't like you. You always sing and dance the Cuddle Buddies Cuddle Huddle Waddle louder than anyone. Remember when we got thrown out of the theater? I swear, it's like... it's like you're just not yourself tonight."

Shego grimaced. This had better be worth it.

She climbed up on the coffee table, tucked her arms against her chest, stuck out her butt, and began chanting in a tone of barely concealed murderousness, "Cuddle, cuddle, it's all that we can do..."

Ron slunk through the bushes at the bottom of the hill. Fiddling with the focus dial on his binoculars, he took another step closer to the Possible house.

"Bingo. Target is in the living room... with Kim..."

He paused.

"Doing... the Cuddle Buddies Cuddle Huddle Waddle?"

"Well, not that that wasn't just a barrel of laughs," Shego said, climbing down off the coffee table, "but, look at that, the horse is fine and the orphans are all cured of polio or whatever and look, there's the credits, oh boy, I am just bomb diggity dog tired!" She faked a tremendous yawn. "Aren't you tired?"

"No," Kim said, taking his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to stay up and snuggle?"

Situation red situation red situation red situation red

"Oh, I, ah, normally yes, but, h-haven't we seen enough snuggling for tonight?" Shego pulled away. "I mean, sure, cuddling, but it's pretty much the same thing, right, heh heh heh? Same...basic...idea..."

"How about we just start with snuggling?" Kim said, leaning forward. "And then see where things go?"

She planted her lips on Shego's before the villain could pull her stolen body away.

"Mmmmph..." Shego mmmphed, eyes darting around the room for any sign of escape. Come on, something get me out of this! Anything!

The picture window exploded in a shower of broken glass and rippling green energy. Ron, surrounded by a halo of incandescent plasma, burst through the new hole, vaulted over the couch, and whirled to face them.

"Get your lips off my girlfriend!"

Anything but that, she amended too late.

Kim leaped easily into a fighting stance. "Shego! This is my house!"

"Kim!" Ron cried. "That's not me! I mean, I'm me! I mean, I'm-"

"Aaaaargh!" Shego screamed at the top of her lungs, clapping a hand to her forearm. "My arm! The glass-!"

Kim gasped, her eyes wide and fearful at first, then narrowed and boiling hot as she set her sights on the intruder.

"That's it!" she snarled, and launched across the room in a flying jump kick. "Shego, you're goin-"

Crack!

"-down?" Kim finished, looking down at the jumpsuited form sprawled across the living room rug. "Weird. Usually she dodges or blocks or something. She just sort of...stood there doing the deer-in-the-headlights thing."

"Yeah, I saw," Shego said, wincing.

"Ron, your arm!" Kim cried. "We have to disinfect it and get a bandage on right away!"

"Er...I'll be okay," Shego said, hiding the "injured" arm. "It's just a scratch. Really."

"Well, at least do the bandage!" Kim said. Suddenly, she blushed. "Uhm, and Ron...I just want to say I have no idea what Shego was talking about. I mean, okay, I've always known she's had this kind of thing for me-"

"Excuse me?"

"-but I never, ever, ever did anything to make her think-"

"I'm...I'm not..." Ron said, struggling to his feet and pushing black hair out of his face. "Not Shego..."

"It's a trick, Kim, she's trying to get you to drop your guard, get her!" Shego blurted. Kim whirled and caught Shego with a roundhouse kick to the jaw.

"Good! Knock her out!"

Kim obliged with a heavy right cross that knocked Ron halfway across the room.

"Well, maybe knock her out a little more carefully than that-" Shego said uneasily.

"Fight me for real!" Kim growled, stalking towards the reeling green girl. "You come in here, to my house, to the place where my family sleeps, you won't even let me have a night with my boyfriend in my own home and now you're not even trying? Fight me!"

THUD.

"Oh-uhm, Kim, sweetie-"

"Fight me!"

THWACK.

"Maybe you could go easy on her face-"

"Get up and fight me!"

SLAM.

"For crying out loud, Kim!" Shego almost shrieked, grabbing Kim's arm to stop her from landing another punch. "Those are permanent teeth!"

"Oh." Kim looked down at her scraped knuckles. "Oh. Wow. I-I don't know where that came from, I just-when I thought she hurt you, I just kind of...snapped, I guess."

"Ah, well, she's down now, a heh heh heh. No need to keep punching her." Shego laughed uncomfortably. "I mean, we're good guys, right?"

"Right." Kim wiped sweat off her brow. "I need a major cooldown after that. You call the police, I'll secure our friend here, and then let's hit up The Cuddle Buddies Take Staten Island!"

Yeesh, Shego thought as she walked into the kitchen, I think I liked it better when she was punching my body in the face. At least there was no dancing involved. New plan: pretend to make the call, grab whatever intel I can find, and get out. We can always exchange the "hostages" later.

Kim leaned down over the fallen green fighter, sliding a pair of Wade's special electromagnetic handcuffs-tough enough to hold even meteor-fueled supervillain-out of her backpack.

"Is she gone?" Ron murmured, his eyelids fluttering.

"Is who gone?" Kim said, hesitating.

"Shego."

"Wow, I really did hit you too hard, didn't I?" Kim sighed. "Well, I'll make sure the prison infirmary takes good care of-"

"No... that Ron, that was Shego. I'm Ron! They used that...that mind-switchy thing again, or something!"

"What?" Kim was taken aback. "No way. Come on, you'll have to better than that, Shego."

"I'm serious, K.P.! I can prove it. Take me to Bueno Nacho and I'll do that trick where I eat a dozen nacos."

"I can't-I can't just let you run around town!"

"You can cuff me! I eat them with my feet, remember?"

Kim paused. "Okay. You know how Ron's special naco trick goes. But that doesn't prove-"

"Don't listen to her!" Shego snarled, stepping back through the kitchen door. "I heard what she said. Pretty obvious trick, Shego! Way too lame for you. Did the blue buffoon think this one up?"

Kim's eyes darted back and forth between the two. "I-I'm not sure what to do here."

"I can prove I'm Ron," Shego said. "Go ahead. Ask me something only I would know."

"Uhm, okay," Kim suggested. "Okay-how much does a pack of your style of socks cost at Smartie Mart?"

"Dollar forty-nine," Shego said smugly. I knew I memorized all that insipid trivia for a reason.

"I knew that, too!" Ron yelled.

"Who was the villain in your favorite issue of the officially licensed Team Go limited edition comic series?"

"Maven Sparlock."

Kim frowned. "No-it was Squash Lass."

"No, she's right," Ron said, "Maven Sparlock is Squash Lass. Issue 31. She got knocked into a vat of radioactive squash puree at the old Go City canned squash factory, got squash powers, and went on a gourd-based crime spree that gripped Go City in a warty yellow fist of terror." He frowned. "But that doesn't prove anything! Everyone knows that!"

"Okay, uh, how about this one?" Kim asked. "Where does a naked mole rat live?"

Shego smiled. "Naked mole rats are native to East African tropical grasslands, where they live underground, in big old communal burrows. Oh, yeah! Booyah!" She pumped her fist in the Ron-est way she knew how.

"I don't know, Shego," Kim shrugged, "that sounds like pretty good Ron information to me." Snapping the cuffs onto her partner, she turned to her disguised nemesis. "The police are on their way, right?"

"I, uh, I didn't get a chance to get through. I'll do that now." Shego wandered back into the kitchen. Maybe I should call the cops for real. Get the sidekick out of the way for a few days, at least. Yeah-I'll do that.

She felt arms wrapping around her from behind, and Kim's head nuzzling her shoulder. Great, more of this. "I'm sorry for doubting you," the redhead murmured. "I had to be sure."

"It's fine, Kimmy, it's not a big deal. Ah, yes, hello, I'd like to report a-"

"Kimmy?"

Shego froze. "I mean Kim. K.P." The arms wrapped around her were decidedly less romantic. "...Honey?"

"You're Shego," Kim hissed. "You ARE Shego!"

"No, no, I'm Ron!" Shego blurted. "I'm totally Ron! Look! Whoops, here go my pants again!..."

She began struggling with Ron's belt.

"...see... here they go... aheh... Wow, those are really on there, aren't they?"

Ron sauntered in from the living room. "I make it look so easy, don't I?" He held out his cuffed hands. "Kim, do you mind?"

"You're Shego!" Kim said again. "And you kissed me!"

"I kissed you?" Shego snapped. "You were-unfh-on me like a love-starved octopus, you-ahah, got 'em!"

The baggy cargo parts fell to the floor, revealing Ron's boxer shorts, just in time for Kim to tackle Shego and snap the cuffs on her wrists.

"And for the record," Ron said, standing over her, "the correct answer to 'where does a naked mole rat live?' is 'in my pocket!'"

"Duckies."

"Huh?"

"Your track record with pants," Shego sighed. "And you still wore the boxers with duckies on them."

"Thanks for arranging a lift for us, Mr. Doogan," Kim said into the Kimmunicator. "I know it was sort of short notice."

"Well, shucks, Miss Possible, you know my private jet is at your disposal anytime," drawled oil magnate Tex "Stanley" Doogan. "Least I can do after y'all taught me so many valuable tips for reducin' my carbon footprint! Mind you, I seem to recall one of the main tips bein' that I shouldn't use the jet so much..."

"Thanks again," Kim said quickly. "We'll be watching for it!"

"It's gonna be great to get back to my old body again," Ron said, his goofy grin plastered on Shego's normally inexpressive features. "How about a celebration while we wait?"

"How about not?" Shego grumbled from the couch.

"What did you have in mind?" Kim asked.

"I was thinking, as long as I've got this borrowed digestive system, y'know, we could hit up Bueno Nacho for an double helping of Saucy Jack's beef 'n' bean Tiajuana Time-Bombs!"

"You wouldn't," Shego said, horrified. "It's less than a month until swimsuit weather!"

"Oh, Shego. Poor, naive Shego," Ron laughed. "Thinking about a month from now, when you should be worried about what those things are going to do you tomorrow. You know, it's Drakken I really feel sorry for. He's gonna be the real victim here."

Shego growled.

"We should have champagne, too. I can buy it! I mean, technically, I'm... what, like forty? Forty-five?"

"Forty-f-!" Shego choked.

He patted her head. "Don't worry, we'll save a glass for you."

"Someday, I will kill you with that hand."

"Let's just get out on the lawn," Kim said, opening the door. "Tex's jet should be here any-"

"Kim?"

Dr. James Possible stood on the front step in a rumpled lab coat, his briefcase and overnight bag in one hand, his key poised halfway to the lock in the other.

"Dad!" Kim said. "You're...home! Look, about the window-"

"Don't... don't worry about it," Dr. Possible said. "Your mother and I have been, uh, meaning to break that window."

"Oh. Dad." Kim looked over her shoulder. "So, you're probably wondering why Ron is here in handcuffs with his pants off-"

"Ahh, Kimmicub, I...respect your boundaries as an young woman and I trust you to make safe choices," her father said, "and other than that your personal life is none of my business, and I am going to go take a nap now because I am very tired."

"Okay," Kim said. "But-but don't you even want to know why Shego is here?"

"No!"