"Well it's done" I say to Christian with a struggled smile. "I got an appointment for a month from now."

"One month?" he scoffs. "No."

"What do you mean 'no?'"

"I am not living through this for an entire month Anastasia. With the money my family and I have donated over the years… I'm going to get you a closer appointment."

Closer? Closer than one month? Holy Crap. I'm not ready for this.

"Christian, please" I beg. "I need some time. Time to get used to this. Give me time. Please."

He takes a collective breath before placing his hand on my shoulder. "Ana, baby" he sighs. "I know you're scared, but the sooner we get this done the better."

"I'd like some more time, time to be normal, to look like my regular self. Don't you want that to?"

"Honestly?" he asks softly. I nod as my eyes widen. Oh God, what is he going to say?

"No" he scoffs. "I feel like I'm drowning baby, every moment that passes I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper, thinking about that disease growing inside you. I just want to get rid of it" he finishes his sentence through gritted teeth as a tear rolls down his cheek.

"Seems as though I'm not the only one who's scared" I whisper gently.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" he seethes. "I'm terrified Anastasia, this is every worst nightmare I've ever had come true. The thought of losing you…"

"Hey" I say softly as I stroke his beautiful face. "I'm here. Right here."

"Oh Ana" he sighs as he kisses my face gently. "I love you so much baby."

"I love you too" I answer, staring deep into his grey eyes. I can see the terror in them. Poor fifty. Poor, poor fifty. Still so haunted by his past demons. His mother who left him all too soon, all by himself. He's afraid that'll happen again. That I'll leave and he'll be on his own. He's afraid of becoming that lost little boy again. I want to help him. I need to help him. And, that desire gives me all the strength I need. I'm going to do this for him.

It probably isn't the best way to make this decision, based on fear, someone else's fear nonetheless, but it might just be the push I need. I'm terrified of losing my breast, but not as terrified as I am of leaving my kids, of leaving my fifty. I have another moment of clarity, similar to the one I had at the doctor's office. Not only do I need to do this, but I need to do this as soon as possible. I need to put my husband's mind at ease, all of our minds at ease.

"Okay" I sigh. "Move the appointment closer, do what you need to do."

"You are incredibly strong and incredibly brave Mrs. Grey" he says gently as he kisses my forehead. "Don't worry baby, I'll take care of you. You're going to be just fine."

"So are you" I reply as I put my hand on his arm reassuringly. "We are both strong Christian, don't forget that."

"But stronger together" he smiles as he rests his hand on mine.

"Yes" I smile as our fingers knit together. "Stronger together" and, it's true. Life with Christian has changed me in many ways. He's made me more passionate, more patient, more understanding, and yes- stronger. And I know that together we will make it through this ordeal, assuming I survive it.

"Hey" he says gently. "I have some phone calls to make, and after that I have somewhere I need to be."

"Work?"

"No, Ana not work. I told you I've cleared my schedule for the next few days, but I thought it might be a good idea for me to see Flynn."

"I think that's a great idea" I smile. I'm glad that Christian is able to recognize what he needs to do to stay strong. If he's going to be mine and the kid's rock, he's going to need support to. Support beyond what I am able to give him at the moment. "You go do that Mr. Grey, I'm going to go see our son, who I hear is very anxious to see me as well."

"He's a lucky boy. You are so good with him" he says with wonder in his voice.

"So are you Mr. Grey" I reassure him. "Ted is lucky to have you and so am I."

"I am the lucky one" he says as he stands to his feet. "Laters, baby."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX

I hold my baby boy close to me as we watch our movie together. The Lion King, Teddy's favorite. He must have seen it hundreds of times in the past six months alone. I must have seen it hundreds of times in the past six months alone, but I could care less. It isn't the movie I care about, it's being with Teddy. Seeing his face light up, and his cut giggle during funny parts of the movie, holding him close as he cuddles into me during scary parts.

"It's okay baby boy" I soothe him gently. "There's a happy ending, remember?"

I repeat those words to myself in my head. There's a happy ending. I'll get my happy ending, Christian and I will get our happy ending. I'm not going to leave him, or my kids. I'm going to fight and I'm going to fight hard.

I hear my blackberry buzz on the nearby coffee table, and set Ted down on the couch, after softly kissing the top of his copper haired head.

I take a deep breath when I see that it is a text from Christian.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Mastectomy

To: Anastasia Grey

Ana, I was able to schedule an appointment for one week from today, at 9:30 A.M. I should be home within the hour. If you need anything before then, do NOT hesitate to call me. I love you very much.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I don't think any of our e-mails have ever had such a depressing heading, but I can't help but smile at how sweet Christian's being. He makes me feel so loved. I set my phone down, and am about to sit Ted back in my lap, but I am interrupted by a pounding at the door.

As Gail answers, I pause to listen to the interaction.

"I'd like to see Ana, please" I hear an enraged Kate request.

"Of course" Gail says. "Ana" she calls out. "You have a visitor."

"Kate" I say as I cringe, what have I done to earn the infamous wrath of Katherine Kavanagh-Grey?

"What the hell Steele!?" she seethes.

"Teddy is here" I whisper harshly motioning to the couch.

"Sorry" she says, in a more measured tone. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I ask nervously. Kate doesn't know. She couldn't know. I've only told Christian, and my parents.

"Look" she says as she hands me this morning's paper. Holy Shit! I'm on the cover. "Billionaire Christian Grey's wife secret fight with breast cancer." How the hell did this happen? This isn't how I wanted everyone to find out. My God, poor Kate.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way" I say as I clear my throat. "I was going to tell you… I've only just found out."

"How serious is it?" she asks as her voice breaks.

"Stage II" I sigh, hoping it means something to her. "I'm having a mastectomy."

"My God" she gasps as she pulls me into a hug. "Ana, I… I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything" I say as I break down and start crying with her.

"Hey, I'm going to help you through this. You're not alone. You know that, right?"

"Of course" I smile. "Thank you." I gasp as another thought comes to my mind. "Who else knows?" I ask as my face drains pale.

"Elliot saw it before me" she answers honestly. "I asked him not to tell Grace, Carrick, Mia, or Ethan- I figured you might want to do that."

"Yeah" I sigh. "Me or Christian. I wish I could have been the one to tell you, and that Christian could have been the one to tell Elliot. But, I guess in the end it doesn't matter. You know now."

"And I'm going to be here for you every step of the way" she adds tearfully as she puts her hand on my arm comfortingly.

"Who do you think leaked the story?" I ask my face pales. This is definitely going to piss Christian off.

"Who have you told?" she asks softly.

"Just Christian and my parents."

"Well it obviously wasn't them" she shrugs. "Someone at the hospital?"

"I guess it'd have to be" I say shakily. "We could sue them for this, right?"

"Damn straight, and you should. As well as this sleazy rag mag, they have no right to plaster your confidential medical information all over the place."

"I don't know if it's worth the fight right now. I'm pretty preoccupied."

"What can I do to help?"

"Just stay" I smile. "Ted and I are watching the Lion King."

"That sounds like a blast" she smiles back. "I should have brought Ava, she loves this movie."

"Hey Teddy!" she adds excitedly as she joins him on the couch.

"Aunt Kate!" he exclaims, surprised by her presence. Oh good, he didn't hear our conversation, he was too distracted by his movie.

I lean back into the couch and for a moment I forget about all my problems. I forget that in a week from now a piece of myself will be taken away from me forever, I forget that the situation of telling my friends and my husband's family about my cancer diagnosis was taken out of my hands and handled in a much tackier fashion then I ever would have handled it myself, I forget that in the next hour Christian will be fuming mad when he finds out what has happened, and I forget my darkest fear of all. That I might not make it through this. That my family might lose me forever. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. In this moment everything is okay.

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