"How are you holding up?"
Alex's voice sounded strangely thin and strained to her sensitive ears as he knelt next to her at the campfire. The others were heatedly discussing their options, Reye's occasionally breaking into loud, frustrated cursing, Jonah doing his best to calm her back down so they could talk sensibly about escaping. Sam was looking out over the wide expanse of land and dense forest around them, a vacant look in her eyes. But Lara was already beyond worried about her. There was no room left in her muddled brain.
"As well as can be expected." she sighed.
She gently unwound one of the dressings on her shoulder gash. Dried blood and caked on scabs peeled away with it and she had to bite her lip pretty hard to keep back a grunt, but a gasp of pain escaped like helium from an untied balloon.
"That looks pretty bad. Here, I have some gauze we got from a medic kit before they caught us. Saving it for a special occasion. It's kind of wet, but it's clean." Alex reached into the front pocket of his backpack and removed a clump of damp white material.
Lara quickly poured some freshwater over the tender wound to clear some of the blood and dirt away, praying it didn't get infected. She could already feel a foreign lump forming on the edge. That's all she needed now. Blood poisoning or yellow pus to start streaking her filthy body.
Of all the things about civilization she missed, showers were at the top of the list. She must smell like a reeking homeless man like on the tubes back in England. But at least everyone else was in the same boat. A quick whiff of Alex as he came closer gave her a healthy lungful of musk, sweat, and fear mixed in with the grime.
"Thanks. Appreciate it." She said without even really looking up as she held a hand out for the gauze. But Alex didn't hand it over. Instead, he gently put his hands on her arm, feeling around the cut and disturbing the strange bump. She hissed.
"Sorry. This looks like it's getting infected. Reyes has some vodka we saved from the ship too, as a painkiller mostly, and probably a morale booster when we eventually get out of here, but it might kill the bacteria too. It's 80 proof. Strong enough to warm up a whole host of Russians!"
For the first time, she managed to extricate herself from the pain and survival driven haze she'd been stuck in for the past few days and really look at the man in front of her. He was skinny, and she remembered suddenly, as if from another life that another Lara had lived how she'd teased him on the ship for not eating more. His glasses sat crookedly on an aquiline nose that still bore signs of blunt force trauma going by the blood stain under the left nostril.
"I can do it, Alex, it's ok-" she started softly as he began to wring out the damp gauze and unstop the vodka bottle. Sam was watching now from the corners of her eyes, still turned towards the cliff face but Lara wasn't stupid or blind.
"Please. It's the least I can do after you saved our asses back there. Let me help. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy my version of first aid."
With a sigh she finally gave in and released herself from the mental armor she'd so painstakingly built. Allowing someone else to tend to her just this once. His fingers on her skin felt cold, but she attributed that to the flaming infection she had going by the gash.
The alcohol burned like hellfire, almost as bad as when she'd had to cauterize her side, and with a sharp yelp she grabbed his other hand, squeezing as hard as she could. He kept pouring, and tried so valiantly not to show that she was hurting him that after a bit she barked out a laugh.
He stopped, eyes wide, probably assuming she'd gone senile.
"I'm really sorry if I hurt you. But that shit stings. I've got to squeeze something."
His curious green eyes clouded and he briefly brushed a thumb across the back of her now limp hand before releasing it. "It will help. It's gotta." And with his gaze firmly averted from hers, he started to dress the cut with the gauze. A firm tug, and it was done. As his fingers fell away she felt an odd chill go through her.
"You believe me, don't you…" it was more of a statement then a question, whispered, so the others couldn't hear. Sam came and sat by the very edge of the fire, trying not to look too interested but failing miserably. Lara didn't care. She trusted Sam.
"I believe it's possible. Honestly, nothing else is making much sense right now. The storms aren't as random as they first appeared to be, and why else would Mathias and his cronies be so wrapped up in this 'Sun Queen'? It's said people turn to religion when convention can't answer their questions. Hope for the hopeless. But I always thought there is some grain of honest to gosh unexplainable shit behind every main deity and organized religion. Humans can't make sense of it, so they make stuff up. It's the oldest coping mechanism in the book."
A random coughing fit cut off their convo and his hand somehow found it's way to her back and shoulders, bracing her through the attack. Lukewarm water also found it's way to her lips. It was bitterly laced with vodka, but she didn't mind. They weren't exactly in a situation where getting her drunk would help his chances. And she knew how precious the alcohol was now. She nodded her thanks.
It saddened her to think that all this human contact was reminding her of Roth out there somewhere, still alone and hurt much worse than she was. They had to find him…
The pain seemed to ease off and she managed to lie down, her head pillowed by Alex's backpack. Her eyes remained wide open, however, even as the moon moved slowly across the sky. The alcohol had somewhat blurred her vision and she struggled to focus on the landscape beyond the cliff face.
Reyes and Jonah were fast asleep on the hard packed dirt of the campfire. Sam and Alex both hovered protectively around where Lara lay, but neither seemed very inclined to rest.
"You like her, don't you?" Sam baldly spouted into the natural silence.
"Who, Lara?"
"Yeah, idiot, who did you think I meant, Reyes?"
"No need to get so snippy. I…admire her, that's all. She's…well, amazing. Clever, strong, brave…beautiful. She's the whole package. Everything…everything I'm not. I'm just some lazy hack kid who knows how to work computers and fix shit. What use am I out here, in the middle of all this? I don't even know if I'm going to make it out of here alive…"
"Don't talk like that, Weiss. I know Lara. Once she sets her mind to something, it gets done. She'll make sure we all get out of here."
"That's something I really want to believe. But seeing her today…she just barely got us out of Mathias' holding cell. She's got some gnarly wounds. I saw her swaying on her feet when we got into the camp earlier. She's amazing but she's just…"
"Just what, a woman?"
"Human."
They were silent for the rest of the night. At some point Lara felt Alex lie down on the hard ground next to her and pillow his face with his hands. She gently shoved the backpack towards him until he could rest his head on it too. She was inches from the back of his head and could smell him again, mixed in with the husky scent of the burning fire.
"Lara…you don't have to-"
"Please. Let me help."
And slowly, gingerly, so she didn't hurt any of her cuts in the process, she slid closer and draped one arm across his chest, curving to his fetal position. She could feel her heart pounding against his back. His bottom rib standing out against her open palm. This closeness, this physical contact…she'd forgotten how mind blowing it could be, and everything was heightened now that she was in fight or flight mode almost all the time.
Now it was his turn to hiss. She smiled a bit and finally closed her eyes. He would probably be unable to sleep now, but she was beyond caring. Sleep clung to her eyelids like friendly fairy dust as she reveled in the most enduring moment of comfort she'd ever had on the entire journey so far.
For once, she felt…safe again.
If only for that moment.