I Will Punch Myself.

Drew knows he's talented. He's good at a lot of things, actually, and he's not afraid to remind people (May especially) of that fact. But if there's one thing he's absolutely terrible at, it's how to respond to a girl who's crying.

His mind shuts down. He has an inner panic attack. Nononononono. Stop it. I can't handle it when you cry. I don't know what to do when you cry. Please stop crying.

The voice in his head says this in a half-angry, half-pleading tone. He really doesn't want to deal with it. Even if it's not his fault, he feel immensely guilty, and that never happens.

This time, it just so happens that it is his fault, multiplying the guilt factor twofold. It's worse, because the person crying in front of him is May, and despite what she may believe or what he may say, there's no one he cares more about.

He teases her all the time, but it's usually OK, because she'll typically scoff and tell him he's a jerk, even occasionally come up with her own witty retort. Their banter is one of his favorite parts of their relationship, actually.

Today must have been the wrong day to pick on May, though, because a slight misstep in his words has her in tears. He knows he's messed up the moment he finishes speaking, because her face falls, and her large blue eyes grow watery.

"Dear Arceus," he says when the first tear rolls down her cheek, as though he's just had a revelation, "I am actually the biggest asshole in the world."

She doesn't laugh. She presses her hands to her face, embarrassed by the fact that she's crying in front of him (her rival), but she still lets out a sob.

"Oh May," his voice softens. He becomes a total pushover when tears are involved. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. Please don't cry."

He reaches out to grab her wrist and comfort her, but she immediately pulls away. His lips tighten.

"What can I do to make it better?" he immediately asks. "Do you want me to punch myself in the face? Because I will punch myself in the face."

He raises his fist for emphasis. She pauses and lowers her hands slightly, sniffling as she watches him. Good. He has her attention.

"Better yet, I'll let you punch me in the face," he continues. "Come on, break my nose. Send me to the hospital. Concuss me."

She hides her face again and giggles.

He's relieved. She's stopped crying, and he actually made her laugh. That's a step in the right direction.

"You think I'm joking, but I'm not." he said, tapping under his eye. "I am not afraid to get beat up by girl. Give me a black eye. You'll be able to brag to Dawn and Zoey and all your other coordinator friends in Sinnoh that you gave the great Drew Hayden a shiner."

"You're dumb," she laughs.

"You don't want to punch me? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, May."

"Thanks, but I'll pass," she smiles, wiping the salt away from her eyes. "I do appreciate the offer, though. Let's forget that it happened."

"Fine by me."

He smiles, too.