Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song does not belong to me either. It's "Nobody knows it but me" By Babyface.

Wish I had told her how I feel / Maybe she'd be here right now

But instead

I pretend that I'm glad you went away / These four walls close in more everyday /And I'm dyin inside / And nobody knows it but me / yeah hmmmm

"Harry?"

Twenty-one-year-old Harry Potter looked up from his paper work at the Ministry of Magic at the sound of his name being called. He cracked a small, strained smile at the owner of the voice. Which belonged to his best friend, Ron Weasley. Ron had his head peeked in the room, a look of anticipation on his face.

"Hey Ron," Harry said weakly, running a hand through his hair. Ron grinned at him and entered the small office. As he looked closer at Harry, however his smile quickly faded and a look of concern crossed his handsome face. Harry had dark circles under his eyes and his face looked very tired and stressed.

"Hard day?" He asked hesitantly.

"No, not r-" But Harry cut himself off, contemplating over when he had almost said. "Yes, It was a hard day," He finally said giving Ron a forced smile. He hadn't had a hard day at work at all. No, in fact, all in all, it had been a rather pleasant day. But he couldn't really tell Ron why he was upset. No, he wouldn't let anyone know. He just couldn't, they wouldn't understand.

Harry stacked the few remaining papers on his desk, and glanced up at Ron who was staring back at him, a look of questioning doubt written across his face.

"What time did Patrice want me there for dinner?" Harry sighed. Patrice was Ron's newlywed wife. She and Ron had met during his last year of schooling. Patrice was one of Ginny's best friends and had met through her.

Patrice had invited Harry over to eat dinner with her and Ron that night.

"Well that's what I came to talk to you about, she's moved the time up to 6:30 tonight," Ron said. Harry looked at his watch, it read 5:48, then he looked back up at Ron and raised his eyebrows at him.

"Well I best be off!" Rom grinned and vanished with a small 'pop'. Harry sighed to himself and left as well so he could get a quick shower and pull himself together before going over to Ron's.

Like a clown I put on a show / Paint it real even if nobody knows / And I'm crying inside / And nobody knows it but me / Yeah hmmm

Harry arrived at Ron's flat at 6:37 and rang the doorbell. He had gotten a shower, but his effort to pull himself together had only half worked. After all, he was never really himself anymore, how could he be? After he had just let her walk away! Harry choked at the memory but composed himself quickly as Patrice opened the door.

Just… be yourself, don't think about her and everything will be fine. Just play it cool and don't let them see how upset you really are. It's worked so far. Harry thought to himself as he smiled brightly at Patrice. Harry noticed she had her short black hair up in a bun as she smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"Hey Harry! I'm glad you could make it!" She said letting go of him and pulling him inside and towards the kitchen. When he entered he saw Ginny and Ron standing there talking. He hadn't known Ginny was coming as well, but then, it didn't really matter.

"Hey Ron, Gin," Harry greeted.

"Hey Harry," Ginny said blushing lightly. "How have you been?"

Harry grinned, he knew how to answer this question, it was really very simple, all he had to do was skirt around the question. Instead of saying how he was he told her all about what he had been doing at work. Harry had found this very useful, as people never knew he was just trying to change the subject.

***

They had finished eating and now just sat around talking and laughing.

"It feels weird without Hermione around, doesn't it?" Ginny asked suddenly.  Harry nearly dropped his glass of wine, but managed to keep his grip on the glass. Although, memories Harry had been trying (though rather unsuccessfully) to block out for nearly a year started clouding his mind; he had to get home.

"Wow, it's getting late," he said in the most steady voice he could muster, looking down at his watch. "I really should be getting home, thanks again Patrice. Bye Ron, Ginny." And with that he Apparated home.

Harry didn't want to seem rude, but he couldn't help it. Memories of the last four years of his life, had started flooding his mind. The first time he had kissed Hermione; how in love with her he really was. How he had let her walk away.

Harry let the tears roll down his cheeks as he looked back upon his mistakes. Why didn't he just tell her? Why was it so hard for him? He remembered calling to her as she went to get on the train . . .

***

"Hermione! WAIT!" Harry called across the crowded train station. Hermione stopped, but she didn't turn around. Harry stepped in front of her and looked into her eyes, they were red and puffy, and filled to the brim with tears, and he presumed his looked quite the same.

"H-Harry please don't make this any harder on me than it already is!" Hermione pleaded.

"Hermione . . . you can't go . . ." Harry trailed off, his eyes burning into hers.

"WHY HARRY? WHY NOT?" Hermione yelled, tears now streaming down her face. "Why not?" She said again, her voice barely audible; then she dropped her gaze to her feet.

Harry stood before her, at a loss for words. He knew what he needed to say . . . and he wanted to say it! So why couldn't he? Hermione brought her eyes up to meet his once more. Harry stared into the depths of Honey Brown.

"Hermione!" He alleged, tears now threatening to fall from his own eyes. "You know why!" Harry whispered hoarsely.

"Then say it Harry. Please," Hermione choked out.

"I-I Can't!" Harry sputtered.

"Then I'm sorry," Hermione uttered, taking a deep breath "But if you can't tell me why Harry, I-I have n-n-no reason to stay!" She finished and turned away breaking into a run. Panic engulfed Harry's senses; she couldn't go! Harry moved to grab her arm, but she was gone.

***

Harry just lay on his bed, lost in his memories for what seemed like hours before finally falling into a fitful sleep.

Why didn't I say / The things I needed to say / How could I let my angel get away / Now my world is just a tumblin' down / I can say it so clearly now / But your no where around

Harry woke early the next morning and dressed for work. Seeing as how he didn't have to be at work for a few hours, and he still had things weighing heavily on his mind, he decided to walk to work.

But this morning, he didn't dwell on the fact that he had lost Hermione, no, instead he thought about all the good times they had had before she left; before he let her get away. The love that they had shared; that he was never able to admit to. He could say it now though, and as just to prove it to himself he yelled it out at the empty morning streets.

"I LOVE YOU HERMIONE GRANGER!"

But he knew she couldn't hear him. Harry frowned to himself as he reached his work place. He walked into a tall brick building; the one, which all the Muggles thought was broken down and abandoned. He walked into his office and settled down at his desk, determined not to let his thoughts get in the way of his work. And he did a fairly good job of doing just that until around lunchtime . . . when he couldn't help but think of when he had first started there. Hermione had always come to meet him for lunch, and they would go to the little diner just down the road together.

"Harry there's someone here to see you," Harry's secretary, Victoria's voice sounded through his office. Harry's brows furrowed, who would be here to see him? It couldn't be Ron, Victoria just let him in.

"Who is it?" He asked with a wave of his wand, so as she could hear him.

"Ginny Weasley," She announced after a moments pause.

"Oh, I'll be right out," Harry answered. He stood up and walked out of his office and down the hall. He entered the main office to see Ginny standing there looking around nervously, but when she saw him she smiled.

"Hi Harry! I was just out and about and I was about to get some lunch, but I thought about how upset you seemed last night… Anyway, I was just wondering if you wanted to take a little break from work and get a bite to eat with me," She finished, blushing ever so slightly. Harry stared at her for a moment, thinking over her request and finally voiced his answer.

"Sure Gin, I would love to," He said, smiling lightly. Then he turned to Victoria, who was looking at him questioningly.

"I'm going out for my lunch break now. I'll be back in around an hour or so," he nodded to her and then turned to Ginny and walked outside with her.

"So did you have anywhere in mind you wanted to go eat?" He asked.

"Well, no. But I on my way here I saw this little diner just down this street -although I forgot what it was called- I thought maybe we could go there," She answered, watching him out of the corner of her eyes.

"N-not 'The Big Whiz Diner' "? Harry nearly choked out.

"YES! That's the one!" Ginny grinned, but as she turned to Harry however she thought he looked absolutely terrified; all the color had drained from his face, and his eyes seemed to have momentarily lost their sparkle. "Unless you don't want to go there," she added hesitantly.

"N-no . . . that's . . . it's fine," Harry managed.

"You sure?" Ginny wondered aloud, allowing herself a sidelong glace at Harry. But Harry just nodded in affirmative. So they continued walking down the street towards the small diner.

The nights are lonely and the days are so sad / And I just keep thinking about the love that we had / And I'm missing you / And nobody knows it but me / Mm ya mmm ya ya / I carry a smile when I'm broken in two / And I'm nobody without someone like you / And I'm tremblin inside / And nobody knows it but me / Yeah yeah yeah

Harry sat alone in his living room later that night. His mind kept running through the previous events of his lunch with Ginny that afternoon. He still couldn't believe he had gone to 'The Big Whiz' with her. He felt bad about it, as if he had betrayed Hermione in some way.

Though he hadn't, and he knew that. He didn't even know where Hermione was now, and she had obviously had enough to do with him. She had been fed up and just wanted an escape, and that's just what she had gotten.

Harry stood up and walked over to his bookcase where he pulled out a large, red, photo album. It was the same one Hagrid had given him while he was still in his first year at Hogwarts.

He brought it back over to the couch where he sat down and flipped through it. At the beginning, it was still, of course, filled with pictures of Lily and James, Harry's parents, but as he flipped farther through it he saw pictures of himself, Ron, Hermione, and his other fellow schoolmates. He saw one that had been taken in his Second Year by Collin Creevy. But even father back he saw pictures that made his eyes fill with tears. These pictures of course, where of him and Hermione together. One of them showed Hermione sitting on Harry's lap, reading a book, while he read it over her shoulder. Another of them having a vicious snowball fight out on the grounds.

As Harry watched the picture, he saw the picture version of himself get hit in the face with a snowball, and then run after Hermione whom had thrown the ball of snow. She ran from him but he caught her quickly, tackling her to the ground Causing him to fall on top of her and then  start tickling her furiously. The Hermione in the picture tried to fight him off in vain. Finally she gave up and just caught his mouth on hers and that did it, he stopped tickling her and melted into the kiss.

Harry sighed and snapped the book shut quickly. That night as Harry thought over everything that had happened in the last four years, he finally realized just why it was he wasn't able to tell Hermione he loved her. For he had never had such feelings before, he never knew love as a child; growing up with the Dursleys, who would? He wanted to be absolutely sure he felt it before he said it; it wasn't a word Harry liked to toss around lightly. But he had been sure in the end. Yes, he had known he loved Hermione more than life itself. Only, when she had said she was going to leave…

***

"Harry?" Hermione called as she walked into the apartment they shared.

"I'm in here, Honey!" he called lightly from the study. Hermione walked in, she had a small frown playing upon her lips.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he stood up and embraced her in a hug.

"Well, nothing . . . I . . . I'm actually rather happy . . . but," she stopped.

"But…?" Harry urged her to continue.

"Oh Harry!" She cried holding into the front of his robes, tears forming in her eyes. She lifted her head from where it rested on his chest and looked into his eyes. "Harry, I love you," she stated. Harry was taken aback, he knew she loved him, she had told him once before, and he had told her he wasn't yet ready to relay his feelings then. She had said she understood and she hadn't said it since, but Harry could always sense the slight tension.

"Harry?" she asked, breaking him from his short reverie.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Do you love me back? I-," Hermione choked back a sob. "-I really need to know how you feel about me," she said meekly.

"Yes," he whispered. "I do."

"Then say it. I need to hear you say it," he heard her reply and then a sob through his shirt, where her head again rested.

"I L- I . . . I L- . . . I can't . . ."

Hermione pulled away from him slightly just enough so he could see the hurt in her eyes, which only made him feel lower than low.

"Harry, I-I was offered a job at the Ministry today… An under cover job." She again stopped, but this time it was because she was crying too hard to go on. Harry wanted to comfort her and kiss away her tears, but she pulled away from him and sat on a chair. He sat on the chair opposite her, his whole body feeling completely numb.

After a good while Hermione finally found the strength to continue.

"I've been thinking it over all day and I really want to do it. The only thing holding me back is… you. And you know how I feel about you. You know I love you. I-I love so much. Only, you-" Hermione again broke off. Harry still just stared at her, numb. Numb, in fear.

"You don't love, me," Hermione finished wiping a tear off her cheek with a shaky hand. Harry blinked, he was too shocked to say anything, and how could she think he didn't love her? As the silence engulfed him he finally found the strength to voice his thoughts.

"How could you even think that?" He said as he felt a tear slid down his own cheek.

"What else am I supposed to think Harry? You can't tell me . . . How do I know that you really do? I'm not saying you don't care for me Harry, I know you do. But, I really need to hear those words, and until I do . . ." Hermione broke down into hysterical wrecking fits of sobs.

***

She had left the next day. And Harry again cursed his stupidity. It was just a word, and he knew he felt it. She should have known, too! You can show love with more than words! But then, he would have been upset with her, as well, if he had let out those three life-altering words and she had refused to say the same. He would have felt unsure, too.

Lie awake its a quarter past 3 / I'd scream it at night if I thought you'd hear me / Ya my heart is callin' you / And nobody knows it but me / Baby / How blue can I get / You could ask my heart / But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart / A million words couldn't say / Just how I feel / A million years from now you know I'll be loving you still

"Good morning, Victoria," Harry greeted as he entered work the next morning. But as he proceeded he didn't enter his office, he past it right up and kept heading down the hall. He went all the way down the hall, until finally he stopped in front of a door and knocked once, and then entered without waiting for a reply.

Harry watched as the person behind the desk in this office's head flew up in response, then a slow smirk formed across his refined face.

"Why, hello Potter, and to what do I own this pleasure today?" Draco Malfoy asked lazily.

"Malfoy, I need a favor," Harry stated simply. Causing Draco burst out laughing.

"Yeah, okay Potter, sure." He said going back to his paperwork.

"Draco, I'm serious."

"Okay Potter. Enlighten me and tell me, why exactly, should I help . . . you?"

"Because I asked you to."

"Yeah, that's just not working for me."

"Because, if you do this for me, I will you be in your debt." Draco thought about this a moment.

"Well, what is it that you need me to do?" He questioned.

"I need you to find out where Hermione is," Harry answered. Draco just gawped at him for a minute.

"Are you insane? That's Top Secret Information! I can't just give you that!" Draco exclaimed finally.

"I know! But I really need to know where she is!" Harry said exasperatedly. Draco muddled over this for a while.

"And you'll own me one?" Draco questioned again.

"Yes!"

"Fine, I'll do it. I must be going nuts. But I'll do it. I'll have your information ready for you tomorrow morning," He sighed. Harry just stood there awkwardly for a moment not sure what to say. Draco looked up.

"You can leave now." So Harry left, and went to get his own work done.

Later that evening as Harry was leaving he stopped to talk to Victoria.

"Victoria, I'm going to take my vacation starting tomorrow," Harry told her.

"But Harry! I don't know if you can start tomorrow, you have to put in and wait until-"

"I don't care! Put me on sick leave if you have to! I'm leaving tomorrow. Now Good night Victoria," He said and walked out the door.

The nights are lonely / And the days are so sad / And I just keep thinking about the love that we had / And I'm missing you / And nobody knows it but me / Yeah yeah oooooooo yeah ay ooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo / Nobody, nobody but me / Tomorrow morning I'm hitting the dusty road / Gonna find you where ever

ever you might go / And I'm gonna unload my heart / And hope you come back to me

Harry awoke at Five AM the next morning to the sound of his alarm clock. He groggily rolled out of bed, and got dressed. He grabbed his wand, wallet, and watch off his dresser then pulled his Invisibility Cloak on and left. When he arrived at work, he didn't enter, but instead he stood outside and waited.

After waiting for around thirty minutes he finally saw Draco rounding the corner of the street. He hurried over to him and whispered: "Did you get it?"

"Yes, Potter, I did. Meet me out back in five minutes time and I'll tell you what you need to know," He hissed in the direction he heard Harry's voice before disappearing inside the building. Harry hurried around back and waited yet again.

At long last Draco emerged from inside.

"Are you back here?" He whispered cautiously.

"Yes," Harry said taking off his cloak.

"Good, here," Draco said handing him a piece of paper. "I hope this will suffice," He said.

"Draco. Thanks," was all Harry could say.

"Yeah. Whatever, I have to go," Draco said and went back inside.

Harry threw his cloak back on and set off for his house. When he reached his destination he quickly went inside and took off his cloak. The he opened the slip of paper and read:

Hermione Granger: Under Cover Operative.

Under Cover Name: Ann Marie Landenberg.

Current Position: United States of America. Nevada, Las Vegas.

Working As: A Dealer at the Mandalay Bay Casino.

Appearance: Short, choppy, black hair. Purple stud eyebrow ring. Tongue Ring. Tattoo around wrist that says "What Goes Around Comes Around". Tattoo of Blue butterfly on right shoulder. Tattoo of a thorny heart on left ankle. Bright Blue Eyes.

Harry folded the piece of paper back up and slipped it in his pocket. His mind was reeling.

Hermione with… a tongue ring… And tattoos? Short… Black…Hair? He just really couldn't picture this. Then an idea struck him. He was going to go undercover himself. Not only would Hermione not recognize him when she saw him, but he wouldn't have to worry about being "The Famous Harry Potter".

Harry ran over to the mirror and used a few simple charms. When he was finished he looked totally different. He had tamed brown hair, which was parted in the middle and hung slighting in his now smoky gray eyes. His scar was no longer visible and he needn't his glasses. Then thinking of Hermione's punk rocker state as an after thought he added a nose ring, and spiked his hair, so as it no longer hung in his eyes. Feeling satisfied, he grabbed his Invisibility Cloak and put it in his suitcase, which he had packed the night before.

Then he took off his Wizard robes, for he was going into Muggle London, picked up his suitcase and Apperated to Las Vegas.

Ya said when / The nights are lonely and the days are so sad / And I just keep thinking about the love that we had / And I'm missing you / And nobody knows it but me / The nights are lonely and the days are so sad / And I just keep thinking about the love that we had / And I'm missing you / And nobody knows it but me / The nights are lonely and the days are so sad / And I just keep thinking about the love that we had / And I'm missing you / And nobody knows it but me

~Carebear