Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.

A/N: I somehow got my days in the fic mixed up when counting the prologue, turned it into a continuation error. I'll just go with it, today is still Tuesday instead of Monday. I'll be keeping track of it each chapter from now on.

Chapter 8: CONDOMS, PLEASE!

Day 6, Tuesday

Lee - 25

Shikamaru - 19

Naruto - 22

Sakura - 20

Kiba - 18

Itachi - 21

The clock ticked closer to the time when the group had to go in to work, but the coffee house sat silent as death. Asuma was chewing on his cigarette and rubbing the same spot on his counter over and over with a rag.

Sakura picked at her nails, also resisting the urge to chew on a strand of hair.

Naruto hummed a random rap while tapping a beat on his knee, steadfast in staring at the ceiling.

Lee was an awkward shade of red as he watched Sakura pick at her nails.

Kiba was scratching a spot behind his ear while a leg twitched.

Shikamaru was asleep.

Itachi stared at each one of them in turn, bemused. Eventually, he decided to speak. "Let's not think of me as an Uchiha, scary older brother to your boss and CEO of an even mightier company than his. Just think of me as…one of you, and get a move on with this game."

"Can we call you Tachi?" Kiba asked.

"No."

"That would help me think of you as one of us, though."

"I don't care that much, just get the hat." His tone promised death, and Naruto jumped up to get the hats from Asuma before his best friend was maimed. They drew closer to the two holy objects and what they contained and all reached forward to draw the slips. Together, they read what contained their fate.

Naruto yawned.

Lee's eyes gleamed.

Shikamaru groaned.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

Kiba paled.

Itachi started to text someone.

The day began.

The first thing Naruto did when he got to the office was knock on Sasuke's office door, ignoring Sakura's bleats about being scheduled or whatever. After a few seconds Sasuke finally opened the door, told Sakura to shove off, and allowed the blond entrance.

Sasuke smirked, seating himself behind his desk. "Business or pleasure, Uzumaki?"

Naruto gave his boss a slow smile, hoping it looked sultry. By the smolder in the older man's eyes, he pulled it off okay. "Pleasure. I just haven't seen you since our first morning after, wanted to know if you still wanted to see me."

"You could have texted or called me."

Naruto internally winced as Sasuke dodged his question. So it was just a one night thing, then. The way things went, he could have sworn it was otherwise. "I like seeing you in person."

The smirk remained on Sasuke's face, though now it was cocky. Oh god, he was feeding the monster. "Saturday evening. 6pm. Formal and be ready."

"For?"

"You'll know on Saturday evening." Naruto grinned, his spirits suddenly lifted just as quickly as they went down. He turned to leave the office, but a "hey" stopped his progress. He turned to look at Sasuke.. "Come here, idiot."

When the blond was close enough Sasuke tugged him down by his tie and gave him a searing kiss. Naruto was close to crawling into his lap when he was gently pushed away with an amused "hn." Feeling dizzy, he left the office to go back to his cubicle, ignoring Sakura's waggling eyebrows.

He stared at his computer for a while and eventually pulled up his email and found Gaara's name in his contact list. He got a dud of a dare today, even if the target was Gaara. He left the subject line blank and in the message body typed in:

They're onto us. We ride at dawn.

He sent it off, annoyed. What a measly two points that was.

Sakura was finding it hard to concentrate on work-especially phonecalls-with Itachi vacuuming all around the office. From the looks on her coworker's faces, they were getting annoyed, too, but most were too scared to glower at or tell their boss' older brother to shut the hell up.

After ten minutes and two phonecalls later in which the caller hung up in frustration, she got up from her desk and marched off towards Itachi. He saw her coming and greeted her with a small head nod.

"Itachi," she tried to say, and figured she'd have to yell. "ITACHI!"

"WHAT?" Any other day hearing the man yell would be hilarious, but as it was she could barely him hear anyway.

"HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT FOR?" He shrugged, choosing to not answer verbally on that one. She sighed. "WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET A GODDAMN VACUUME ON SHORT NOTICE?"

"I HAD IT DELIVERED."

The pink haired girl paused, baffled. "THEY HAVE VACUUME DELIVERY SERVICES?"

"FOR ME THEY DO." From the corner of her eye, she saw Shikamaru skipping to the printer from his work space. She was surprised the man didn't keel over from exhaustion already. She turned back to Itachi, wondering what else he could have delivered personally.

Naruto, who was apparently hiding behind her and wondering the same thing, leaned forward. "CAN YOU GET ME A DELIVERY ON CONDOMS?"

Very unfortunately for Naruto, the vacuume was cut off while he was yelling, "delivery on condoms" reverberating throughout the whole office. He turned an entertaining shade of scarlet and Sakura looked around for the source of the peace. Sasuke stood a few feet away, holding out the vacuume plug he had yanked from the wall, looking torn between amusement at Naruto's conversation and wanting to bash Itachi's head in with the vacuume cleaner.

In the end, he snarled at Itachi to get out for the day and demanded Uzumaki to see him in his office, his dark eyes flashing. Sakura giggled.

Naruto was starting to really get into a nice makeout session with his boss after having gotten over his embarrassment about the condoms when Sakura paged him, saying Kiba was there to see him. She sounded regretful. He hoped she wasn't spying in some weird way, girls were weird like that.

The blond stood in the corner as his best friend entered the room, looking unsure, but when he saw Sasuke he crossed his arms and glared. Sasuke's eyebrows shot up. "Can I help you, Inuzuka?"

"There's no easy way to say this, Mr. Uchiha." Now Naruto's eyebrows were up.

"Are you quitting?" Sasuke said, sounding hopeful.

Kiba ignored the question and the looks he was getting. Naruto wasn't even sure if Kiba noticed him in the room yet. "Mr. Uchiha, you've done a very good job with this office. You work hard, your employees strive to please you—" he glanced at Naruto slyly, "in more ways than one. You do your work efficiently. But it's time."

The boss' face was scrunched up now, and Naruto was fighting to keep a straight face. Sasuke checked his watch. "It's time for...lunch, I guess, in about ten minutes."

"No, Mr. Uchiha. Sasuke." Kiba leaned over, placing a comforting hand on the man's arm. "With Itachi arond, we find you're no longer needed." He took in a breath. "You're fired." A hint of nervousness was on the dog man's face, and Naruto was practically biting his fist in half trying not to laugh.

"Kiba, get out."

"Yes sir."

Shikamaru stood up from his desk with a sigh, his legs complaining at knowing they're about to be forced to skip again. Who thought of this dumb game again? He skipped out of his cubicle and towards the elevator for lunch, noticing that his friends and a few others including the boss were waiting for the elevator. One thing that stood out were the Pikachu ears that Lee was wearing around his head.

The lazy/tired man stopped in front the doors as well, staring. "Dare I ask?"

Mr. Uchiha snorted. "Apparently he's in dire need of taking a day off work next week so he can...cosplay...as...that...at a convention." Lee was nodding quite seriously as the elevator doors opened.

As soon as they were all in, Sakura started gasping for breath, as if suddenly claustraphobic. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and watched as Naruto thought she was choking and was slapping her on the back. Lee was shaking her by the shoulders while Kiba freaked out and yelled about her going into labor. Others, including Sasuke, stared at the scene with a wide-eyed look.

When the elevator stopped and opened the idiot girl immediately stopped gasping and strolled out, looking as if nothing happened at all. Shikamaru could tell when the others clued in. She smiled and turned around to look at Lee. "Where did you get the Pikachu ears, though? That was fast," she asked as they started walking to the cafeteria.

"Oh! I already had them in my car, there really is a convention next week I'd like to attend!" Sakura chose not to answer, and Shikamaru noticed that Sasuke stood alone in the open elevator, gaping at the retreating group, looking nonplussed. Very un-Uchiha.

Shikamaru smirked and skipped away.

Hope you enjoyed this one, don't forget to review! :) And no, I didn't forget anything. ;) Wait until next chapter.