Roses for a Rose
Description: 10 different roses. 10 different meanings. Marley and Ryder's relationship, told through a series of vignettes.
Author's Note: Okay, I know I should be writing the next chapter of 'I'll Be Coming Home, Wait for Me' right now, but I found this image earlier ( post/45234334517/nelladee-know-your-roses-guys-or-you-just) , and I just couldn't resist the urge to write a one-shot about it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or the characters, or any of the songs, or even this image describing these different roses and their meanings.
Green is for Vitality
Marley Rose always knew she was the main reason that the New Directions lost Sectionals her sophomore year. Her horrifically embarrassing collapse at the end of 'Gangnam Style', followed by the mortifying revelation that she had been forcing herself to throw up constantly – well, needless to say, Marley had been ready to crawl into a hole and never come out. She didn't know how to face her friends in the Glee Club, or if they would even still be her friends. The first day that she returned, there was name-calling and all kinds of cattiness. No one stood by her. No one wanted anything to do with her.
No one, that is, except Ryder Lynn. He showed up at her house one day after school one day carrying a long, thin package that she wasn't sure was for her, since he didn't immediately offer it to her.
"How are you doing?" he asked her, walking into her living room without really waiting for her to invite him in. She had been ready to send him away; she didn't see any reason to believe that he was any less angry at her than anyone else was.
"I'm going to quit Glee Club," she said, as if that were a natural response to the question. "I don't deserve to be in there after I screwed up the competition."
"I had a feeling that was what you were thinking," her friend said, making himself comfortable on her couch. He patted the seat next to him, indicating that she should sit down. She reluctantly joined him on the couch when it became clear that he had no intention of leaving anytime soon.
"Marley. You're beautiful. You're kind. You're incredibly talented. Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked her earnestly. Marley couldn't bear to meet his eyes. Everyone else was so angry at her, but Ryder just seemed disappointed.
"I mean – I thought after 'Grease' that you were getting better; I'm so mad at myself for not keeping a closer eye on you and noticing that things were only getting worse," Ryder said. He pulled out a book and handed it to her.
"So as you know, I'm not so good at the whole reading thing, but my mom's really into gardening, and I thought this might make you smile." He pointed at the cover of the book, which had a plethora of different colored roses on the cover. Marley couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"Really, Ryder? I'm the bane of the Glee Club's existence right now and the best you could come up with was a lame play on words about my last name?" She shoved his arm playfully, realizing that his ploy was actually working. She couldn't help but smile at how ridiculous the entire thing was.
"Yeah, well, it's actually kind of cool. I never realized all the weird colors roses came in – but I think this one is the one you need right now." He pointed at a picture of a green rose, and Marley read the caption underneath. Green is for vitality.
"What do I need vitality for? Besides, I don't see any green rose," Marley said, sticking her tongue out at him and trying to shrug off the serious tone that this conversation was about to take.
"Because you, Marley Rose, are a fighter. You're too good to let something like this destroy you – it's time you got back into the game and got back to being that warm, confident girl that I first met. You're going to be okay, Marley – and I'm always going to be here to help you, whether you want me around or not. You're stuck with me," Ryder proclaimed.
At that point, Ryder offered the thin, wrapped object to her. "So much for not seeing a green rose, huh?" Ryder mimicked her actions from moments before and stuck his tongue out at Marley as she unwrapped the flower.
"Green for vitality," he reminded her. "So that means you're not allowed to give up. And even if you try, I'm not going to give up on you."
Yellow is for Friendship
It took two solid weeks of begging, but Jake finally forgave Marley for letting Ryder kiss her on Valentine's Day. It had been an emotionally draining period of time for Marley; she felt like she was losing the first guy she had ever loved. Her entire focus during those two weeks was on showing Jake how much he really meant to her, and on winning him back.
She never really stopped to think about how Ryder must be feeling throughout the whole ordeal. She was so caught up in her own problems that she didn't realize that it must be hurting him to be completely ignored. She knew that he felt horrible about the kiss and about being the cause of most of her problems, but she did very little to reassure him that he, too, was still an important part of her life.
Sometimes, she felt his sad eyes on her in the hallway, but she knew that if she wanted any chance of Jake forgiving her, she had to ignore Ryder. She had to leave him alone, or else her boyfriend – if he decided he even still wanted to be her boyfriend – would just grow angry at both of them again.
The day that Jake finally forgave her, she met Ryder's eyes as she walked down the hallway on the younger Puckerman's arm. He gave her that half-smile – the one he always gave when it mattered more to him that she was happy than it mattered that he was hurting.
Jake decided to skip his last class that day, and so she took that as her chance to seek out Ryder.
"Hey," she said to him nervously.
"Hi," he responded with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I see you guys worked things out," he added, nodding towards Jake's leather jacket, which Marley had drawn around her body.
"Yeah," she added, trying her best to smile. She had felt so happy earlier when Jake had come up and kissed her and told her he was ready to fix things between them, so why did her heart feel like it was sinking into her stomach now?
"I'm happy for you, Marley," Ryder assured her softly. She wasn't quite sure she believed him.
She bit her lip, trying to choose her words carefully.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you," Marley began, but Ryder raised a hand to silence her.
"Don't be," he said. ""All that really matters to me is knowing that you're happy. I'm glad I didn't permanently screw things up for you." His eyes shone with sincerity, which only made her next words harder to say.
"You know you're my best friend, right? No matter what?" Ryder nodded slowly.
"But – things with Jake are still kind of weird, and I just… I can't really talk to you for a while. Not until things cool down," she said. Her words were rushed, as if saying them quickly would make them hurt less.
"It's cool, Marley. You don't have to explain it to me – I'd just make things more complicated for you guys." Marley wasn't used to hearing Ryder so emotionless, and his level of calm was making her feel desperate.
"I just – I don't want to lose you. But I can't lose Jake, either. I…" Her eyes welled up, and she wished that she could hug him and know that everything would be okay.
"Hey – don't worry, Marley. I get it, I really do. Take care of yourself, okay?" Ryder patted her on the shoulder, and turned to go. Marley had thought it couldn't get any harder than telling Jake about what had happened with Ryder, but telling Ryder she couldn't be his friend for a while because of Jake – well, that was excruciating.
Ryder and Marley went out of their way to avoid each other in the days that followed, and though it felt nice to be able to walk hand-in-hand with Jake again, she was worried that by the time the dust had settled, her best friend wouldn't be there for her anymore.
Ryder, in his typical fashion, seemed to read her mind. It was a week after their conversation, on a day when Jake had again skipped out of school early, when she found a single yellow rose tucked into her locker. There was no name on the card, but she thought back to a time when she and Ryder had looked through a gardening book about different color roses and their meanings just for fun.
Yellow roses, if she remembered correctly, stood for friendship. She looked at the card again, and reread the one word that was written there, feeling a smile creep onto her face. Always.
Orange is for Enthusiasm
Marley's friendship with Ryder had remained strained for the duration of the school year; Mr. Schuester had even assigned them a duet for Regionals that Ryder had passed up in favor of letting Jake do it. She knew that he was trying to do it out of respect for her and for her relationship, but it still hurt that he was trying so hard to avoid her.
They exchanged small smiles, and they made polite conversation, but they never hung out outside of school the way they used to. He never sent her silly text messages about observations he made throughout the day. They never really talked about how they were feeling or about anything that was deeper than surface level.
Marley remembered the yellow rose, and remembered Ryder's promise that he would always be one of her best friends. But now it was summer, and Jake and Ryder had reformed a tentative friendship. Ryder had gone out on a few dates with other girls. Ryder had forgotten all about her romantically by now, and Marley didn't want to sit back and let him forget about their friendship, either.
Marley was walking to Jake's house one day when she bumped into Ryder, who had clearly just left. He was carrying a basketball, covered in sweat, and probably smelled terrible, but Marley had never been happier to see him – or more nervous.
"Hey!" she said brightly. "I was just thinking about you!" Marley was tempted to cover her mouth in horror; she hadn't intended to blurt that out.
"Oh?" Ryder chuckled at the look on her face. "And why is that?"
"Well – a few months ago we were talking about how Lima was opening that new Funland, with the mini-golf, and the glow-in-the-dark bowling, and the laser tag course that supposedly has Buzz Lightyear hidden somewhere inside – and it just opened last weekend, so yeah," Marley said, forcing herself to keep a smile. She was sick of feeling awkward around Ryder; she had to do something to change that.
"Oh, yeah! I forgot about that," Ryder said, but the twinkle in his eyes revealed that he hadn't forgotten at all. Marley's smile felt less forced when she realized she had made him happy by remembering. She grew a bit bolder – here was her chance to set their friendship back on the right track.
"You know, you promised you would go with me – Jake's just not cool enough to glow in the dark," she said quickly. "So are you free Sunday afternoon?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.
Ryder's smile faded a little bit. "Oh, I'm sorry, Marley – um, I don't think I can." She felt her face flush with embarrassment; what had seemed like such a good idea a few seconds ago now seemed like such a stupid plan.
"Oh, yeah, of course. I mean – you probably wouldn't want to, it's kind of lame, and – oh wow, I'm running late. I should really get going!" Marley spun on her heel, and started walking in the direction of Jake's house.
"Marley, wait, it's not like that!" Ryder pleaded, but she was too flustered to turn around.
Jake asked her if there was anything bugging her that afternoon, but she lied and pretended she was totally fine. They spent the afternoon watching The Hunger Games, and Jake teased her the whole time about how he didn't get what was so great about the movie. She tried (and failed) not to think about the fact that, when she had watched this movie with Ryder shortly after she and Jake had gotten together, he had thought it was awesome and had immediately done his best to read the books, dyslexia and all.
Marley didn't want Jake to catch on to how bad her mood was growing, so she kissed him goodbye and told him she needed to get home to have dinner with her mom. Her boyfriend smiled and said he'd see her tomorrow, oblivious to the fact that she was angry at herself for losing Ryder as a friend after all.
Marley trudged into the house where she found her mother sitting at the kitchen table. She opened her mouth to tell her mom that she wasn't hungry when she spotted an orange rose sitting at the spot where she always sat for meals.
"What's that?" Marley questioned, feeling her hopes swell up inside of her.
"That nice Ryder boy brought it over earlier and asked me to give it to you – you know, I haven't seen him around in a while! Where has he been?" Mrs. Rose asked, but Marley ignored her question as she reached for the note next to the orange rose.
Marley recalled that orange roses had stood for enthusiasm, and she eagerly read the note attached to the flower. I already promised my little brother I would go watch his baseball game on Sunday afternoon – could we do Monday instead? I've missed hanging out with you.
She beamed as she sat down to a lovely dinner with her mom.
Cream is for Appreciation
One of the reasons that Marley fell for Jake in the first place had to due with how kind he was to her mother. Millie Rose was kind of the laughingstock of the McKinley High cafeteria, but Jake had always gone out of his way to be kind to her. At least until now.
Jake was still very nice to her mom whenever he came over for dinner, but he didn't go out of his way to do nice things for her anymore. He didn't really put a lot of effort into defending her when others were making fun of her, either. Marley was beginning to wonder if he had only acted that way in the first place to try to win her over.
Marley supposed that Jake wasn't the only one who wasn't as nice to Mrs. Rose as he could be; sometimes Marley herself felt like she wasn't really the greatest daughter in the world. She had been so caught up in being somebody's girlfriend for the past 8 months that she hadn't really spent as much time with her mother as she used to. Whenever Marley broke plans to spend time with Jake instead, Millie would simply smile and tell her daughter to have a good time. Her mother didn't make any comments about the fact that the pictures of the mother-daughter pair together that had been plastered all over Marley's locker and bedroom walls had been covered up with pictures of her friends and especially of her boyfriend. Millie was as supportive as they came, but Marley wasn't the doting daughter that she had been in the past – that her mother deserved for her to still be now.
Marley came into school one day near the end of September, and her heart sank as soon as she entered her homeroom class. Staff Appreciation Day! was written on the chalkboard in the front of the room, and even though her teacher, Ms. Holliday, was only a substitute, her desk was still littered with gifts and cards from various students.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no." Marley didn't even notice that she had been speaking aloud, but Jake, Ryder, and Kitty, who all usually sat together, turned to look at their fellow Glee club member.
"What's wrong, Marley?" Jake questioned, frowning slightly at the look of panic on her face.
"It's staff appreciation day, and I didn't get anything," she sighed.
"So? What's the big deal?" Kitty asked, rolling her eyes. Although Marley was pretty sure they truly were friends now, Kitty still had very little patience for anyone else's problems.
"The big deal is that my mom is part of the staff!" Marley said, trying to keep her voice calm.
"And? You live with her, just give her something later," Jake said, shrugging. Clearly this wasn't a big deal to him.
"But you don't understand! I've given her something at lunch every year for as long as I can remember on staff appreciation day. It always means a lot to her, since most kids make fun of her for her weight. I can't just show up with nothing, but I've got classes all morning that I can't skip without getting in major trouble. I feel like a rotten daughter," Marley said, looking defeated.
"Seriously, Marley. It doesn't matter. Just bake her a cake or something when you get home, and I'm sure she won't even notice that you didn't get her anything today. Calm down – it's gonna be fine," Jake said, squeezing her hand in what he seemed to think was a reassuring way. She wished that her boyfriend understood.
Kitty had already turned around, having lost interest halfway through the period, but Ryder was still gazing at her thoughtfully. When he realized that Marley was now looking straight at him, though, he abruptly turned away and looked back at the homework he had been finishing.
Marley felt queasy most of the morning, and when it finally came time for lunch, she walked as slowly as she could towards the lunchroom. She considered skipping lunch completely, but her mom would probably be disappointed enough that Marley didn't bring her a gift; she would be downright miserable if Marley didn't at least come by and say hello to her.
The lunchroom was already packed by the time Marley reached the door, and she had just gripped the handle when she felt someone grab her shoulder.
"Hey," Ryder said breathlessly. He looked as if he had just run through the hallways, but he was beaming at her.
"I skipped out of PE early so that I could get these for you – well, for you to give to your mom. Coach Bieste is going to hand it to me at practice later, but I know this tradition means a lot to both of you." He pulled a bouquet of cream-colored roses from behind his back.
"Ryder – I – how can I thank you?" She had to blink a few times to be sure that this was really happening. "They're beautiful – how much do I owe you?" Ryder brushed off her question.
"Hey – your mom is almost as awesome as you are. You don't owe me anything. I'd hate to see both of you sad on one day. By the way – you should tell her that cream roses stand for – "
"Appreciation," Marley said, chuckling as she and Ryder spoke the words in unison. He flashed her one last grin and disappeared as Marley walked over to the lunch line to see her mom.
Peach is for Gratitude
Since the beginning of the summer, Marley's friendship with Ryder had gone mostly back to normal. Their bowling and mini-golf trip had reminded them how well they got along, and how silly they had been to ignore each other for so long, and even though Marley was still with Jake, she and Ryder had made an effort to do something together almost every week.
Their relationship never seemed to be anything deeper than friendship as far as Marley was concerned, and she hoped – or at least she thought she hoped – that Ryder's feelings for her had disappeared as well. She was never quite sure; at least, not until around Thanksgiving their junior year, when he started dating a new girl at McKinley named Betsy.
Marley convinced herself that she wasn't jealous of Betsy because she was dating Ryder; Betsy was a sweet girl and Ryder seemed happier than he had been in a while when he was with her. Marley did feel a little bit hurt when Ryder suddenly didn't have as much time for her, though; she had always made time for plans with Ryder, even though she had still been with Jake, but it seemed that it was much harder to plan times that they were both free once Ryder had a girlfriend.
Marley had to admit that she missed him; Ryder always made her smile by talking about the silliest things and making the goofiest faces at her at the most random times. So that was why she jumped at the chance to start tutoring him at the end of January. They were in the same history class again, but he was still struggling with his dyslexia, and their teacher this year was really focused on taking test material from their out-of-class readings. It was just too hard for Ryder to sort through all of the material without Marley there to help him organize the material, and Betsy couldn't really help him since she was a grade behind them.
Their mid-quarter test happened to fall on February 15 – the day after Valentine's Day. Betsy was less than thrilled to share Ryder with Marley for part of the day, and Jake wasn't jumping for joy either, especially after what had happened between the two the Valentine's Day before. Marley, however, didn't mind at all – she loved getting a chance to help Ryder, and she didn't really have high expectations for Valentine's Day. Last year had been amazing, but she knew that that was all Ryder – after his attempt at recreating the 'Unchained Melody' scene from Ghost, Jake had all but given up on over-the-top romantic gestures.
Ryder never really talked to her about what his plans were when they had their tutoring session, but after the wonderful series of surprises he had set up for her the year before, Marley had no doubt that he was planning something special for Betsy. She just hoped that she didn't really have to see it. However, the week leading up to Valentine's Day came and went, and Marley didn't notice anything particularly swoon-worthy coming from Ryder. She certainly wasn't complaining; the thought of seeing Ryder repeat the same ideas on someone else would have taken away the special memory of how thoughtful he had been when it came to making her happy.
Finally, though, as they were studying in Ryder's kitchen Valentine's afternoon, just a couple of hours before they had their plans with respective significant others, Marley caved and asked him what he had planned.
"Oh – well, actually, Betsy wanted to make dinner for me at her house. She thinks we aren't really doing anything that special, but – I mean, well, you know me. I didn't get her anything big and breathtaking, but I did plan a scavenger hunt for her around Lima where she'll find a bunch of little things that she likes," Ryder said, his eyes never leaving his book. "What about you and Jake?"
His tone was so nonchalant, but Marley knew that he had probably put a lot of thought into what he was doing for Betsy. She couldn't help but wonder if he was mentally comparing whatever she said next to whatever he had planned for Jake the year before.
"We were just going to go to Breadstix and get some dinner, and then wait for Sugar's party to start there again. Do you think you guys will be making an appearance?" Marley said, trying not to let herself feel too dejected. She had made her choice, and she had no right to wish that she was on the receiving end of Ryder's affections at this time of year.
"Nah, probably not; but you never know. Betsy could think my scavenger hunt thing is totally lame and decide she'd rather go to the party," Ryder shrugged. She could tell that he was feeling a little bit nervous about his plan; Marley could relate to that feeling. She still sometimes felt like she was a little too nerdy for Jake, and Betsy was definitely among the cool kid crowd at school – she was a Cheerio following in Kitty's footsteps, after all.
"She'd have to be crazy to not appreciate whatever you've got in store for her," Marley said with a reassuring smile as the two got back to work.
An hour and a half later, Marley found herself reluctant to go home and leave Ryder's company. She had learned over the past three weeks that there was a lot of laughing involved when you were learning about various American presidents with Ryder, who tended to refer to them not by name but rather by their most unflattering facial features. However, Ryder was getting a bit fidgety, so Marley stood up to go.
"So you should be in good shape for tomorrow, but you can call me if you have any last minute questions! You're sure to rock this test," Marley said with a smile. "And I'm sure your date tonight is going to be amazing," she added as an afterthought. Ryder beamed at her.
"Thanks. That means a lot. I hope you and Jake have a good time too. But hey, let me walk you out – I just need to grab a couple of things," he said as he shuffled into the other room. He was back shortly afterwards, wearing a blue collared shirt and carrying a single peach rose. Marley felt a twinge of jealousy when she saw it – Ryder had given her roses in the past to tease her about her name, and she had hoped that he would get Betsy something different, something that she didn't like to think was special between her and her best friend – but her frown didn't last long. Beaming, Ryder held the flower out to her, and suddenly it clicked with Marley – peach roses signified gratitude.
"For you, Miss Rose. Thank you for all of your wonderful tutoring. I'm a lucky guy to have a friend like you," he said, pulling her into a side hug as they headed in opposite directions. Marley couldn't help but smile, inhaling the scent of her rose as she waltzed home.
White is for Innocence
Valentine's Day, it turned out, was rather unsuccessful for both Ryder and Marley. Betsy, it seemed, had in fact thought that Ryder's scavenger hunt idea was sort of dorky, and things had deteriorated from there. Once the floodgates had opened, the Cheerio had revealed more and more quirks of Ryder's that she found to be a bit embarrassing, and by the end of the school's basketball season, they were broken up.
Ryder seemed to bounce back fairly quickly, and Marley was certainly glad to have her best friend around more often. The timing couldn't have been any better, either; on Valentine's Day, Jake had once again begun to pressure her to have sex with him. He had pointed out that they had been together for over a year, that he had always been faithful to Marley, and that there was no confusion anymore with Ryder out of the picture. He had also pointed out that, if Marley supposedly loved him, there was no good reason to keep waiting.
Marley continued to put it off; for some reason, she still just felt uncomfortable of the idea of giving herself completely to Jake. He was awesome, and she really cared about him, but she was starting to question whether or not he was the kind of guy she could see forever with. Once, she had thought that maybe he could be, but she had never really been positive. With each passing day, and with each passing comment about why Marley shouldn't keep him waiting much longer, Jake was seeming less and less like 'forever' and more and more like someone she needed to cut out of her life before she did something that she could regret.
She surprised herself by talking to Ryder about the situation; after going for so long without discussing her relationship with Jake, she really just needed another guy's opinion. She was surprised by Ryder's reaction.
"Ugh – I've been telling him for a year to back off of that kind of crap," Ryder had said, looking annoyed. "He's seriously giving you trouble?" Marley nodded.
"That was what sent me over the edge in the first place! Last year, after I helped him with all that Valentine's stuff, and then I gave him that necklace to give to you, and his reaction was 'I'm so getting laid tonight' – " Ryder balled his hands into fists, and Marley put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. She had never heard Ryder's version of the events that led up to him kissing her before, but this new piece of information made a lot more sense. Ryder wasn't the type of guy to go behind someone else's back, but if Jake had made him upset by talking about her that way – well, she supposed that made her feel a little bit better, in retrospect.
"It's not that big of a deal, Ry," Marley said, but he was already protesting, "It is a big deal, Marley! He's supposed to be your boyfriend, and treat you right, and give you the whole world if you asked him to, and instead he just wants you to take off all of your clothes, and…" Marley couldn't help but smile a little bit at his rant. It was nice to see that he was still a hopeless romantic, even after Betsy had treated him like dirt.
"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself, okay? Don't let him talk you into something you don't really want," Ryder said softly. "I'd talk to him for you if you wanted me to – you've been kind of a taboo subject, but if he's acting that way, it's just not cool."
The conversation avoided the question of whether or not she was planning to break up with Jake, and for that she was grateful. She hated to admit to Ryder that a part of her really did want to, but that a larger part of her was afraid of giving up the first guy who had ever loved her. What if she never found anyone else? What if it killed her to watch him immediately move on to someone else, as if she had never mattered in the first place? Deep down, she had started to think it might be better for her to end things, but she didn't think she had the strength to, and she didn't want to disappoint Ryder by admitting how weak she really was.
Three weeks later, as March came to a close, Jake made her decision for her. He tried to make it about her; obviously she didn't trust him or believe in their relationship lasting long term if she didn't want to take things to the next level with him. She knew that ultimately it was about him starting to grow bored with her and wanting to find a girl that would fulfill his sexual needs, though.
Marley had stayed strong throughout her conversation with Jake, but afterwards she had called Ryder and had dissolved into tears. She had spent the past fourteen months being Jake Puckerman's girlfriend, and although she knew she couldn't stay happy being his girlfriend forever, she hadn't been ready to give it up quite yet. So many of her daily rituals involved Jake being there with her; so many of the inside jokes that made her laugh were things that only he could share with her. Marley had never been a fan of change, and she wasn't ready to adjust her life so drastically.
"I'm – so – sorry for – dumping this on you," she hiccupped into the phone, and Ryder's soothing voice came back on the other end.
"Hey, hey – no apologizing to me. You know I'm always here for you, Marley, no matter what. I know nothing's gonna make it stop hurting right now, but if there's any little thing I can do to make you feel better, I'll be there in a heartbeat." Marley, touched by his sincerity, had asked if he could just come keep her company for a while.
It was pouring rain outside, and 30 minutes after hanging up, a soaking wet Ryder stood on her doorstep. Marley opened the door, and he shook off a bit before following her inside. She was on the brink of offering him a towel when she felt two strong arms wrap her into a giant bear hug.
"Ryder! You're getting me all wet!" she protested, laughing through her sniffles for the first time that day. He shrugged.
"You live here. It's not like it's hard for you to dry off," he pointed out, still not breaking the hug. Marley appreciated the gesture; this was her first break up, and she needed all the support she could get.
"I just feel so stupid," she said, thinking aloud.
"Well, for starters, you're not stupid. And for another thing, there's plenty of time to talk about that later. Right now, though, I think you need a hiatus from the crying, so I brought you the following three items," Ryder announced, unzipping his backpack.
"Exhibit A: Love struck strawberry ice cream from our local Baskin Robbins. It has your favorite fruit with a touch of chocolate and cheesecake in it – all three things you love. Er – we might want to put it in the freezer while we get our movie set up, though," he said sheepishly.
"Movie? I don't remember saying anything about a…" Marley trailed off midsentence as Ryder announced "Exhibit B" and held up Catching Fire.
"This one's totally better than The Hunger Games, and I figured you hadn't bought the DVD yet, or else you would have been talking about it nonstop if you had," Ryder said, handing her the movie, which was still in it the plastic wrap from the store.
"And lastly – Jake is an idiot. I know it hurts right now, Marley, but I'm so proud of you for sticking to your guns and staying true to yourself by saying no. And so, I present to you, Exhibit C!" Ryder gave a dramatic flourish that elicited another giggle from Marley, and then he passed her the last surprise item: a single white rose. Innocence, Marley thought to herself, already feeling a bit better as she clutched the flower.
Lavender is for Charm
The summer after her junior year, Marley started to panic about the future. She realized if she was going to have any hope of getting into an arts school, she would need to improve her resume, and fast. Sure, she had starred in Grease her sophomore year, and had landed the role of Eponine in Les Miserables the year after, but those were school activities. Marley had very little involvement in her community, and she had a feeling that she should at least attempt to change that while she still had the chance.
It had been three months since Jake had broken up with her, and most people assumed that she was just trying to stay busy to keep her mind off him, but honestly, she didn't really miss him very much. Sure, she missed being able to hold hands with someone whenever she wanted to, or someone who she could walk up to and kiss in the hallways, and she missed knowing that someone was proud to love her, but she found that the moments when she missed these things were few and far between. They were a much duller ache than she had expected, but she had a feeling that was partially due to Ryder.
Marley and Ryder had been virtually inseparable since the end of March. They ate lunch together; they walked home together; every weekend they had plans to watch silly movies or go play lasertag or check out a new comic book store. Marley certainly wasn't lonely, and if anything she felt much more herself than she had in the fourteen months that she had lost herself in pleasing Jake. Being around Ryder was easy, and carefree, and she was always happy to be around him.
He seemed to feel the same way about spending time with Marley, because when she mentioned at the beginning of June that she wanted to try out for the Lima Community Theater's performance of Phantom of the Opera, he instantly expressed interest in doing the same.
"Er – I mean, if that's cool with you. I don't want you to feel like I'm smothering you or anything," Ryder had quickly added when Marley's face had gone blank at the idea.
"Don't be ridiculous!" she cried, launching herself towards him for a hug. "I would love it if you tried out with me! We work really well together. Plus, I would feel so much more comfortable, and it would definitely be more fun having someone I know to spend time with on the set."
And that was how, a week later, they found themselves cast in the roles of Christine and Raoul. Marley was fairly certain she had looked even more giddy with excitement than when she and Ryder had been cast as Sandy and Danny nearly two years earlier; sure, Lima wasn't exactly packed with superstars, but this wasn't just beating out people at her high school. She and Ryder had beaten out the whole town for these roles!
Marley felt that this was the happiest summer she had had in years, but there was one thing that she was nervous about. She knew that sooner or later, she and Ryder would have to rehearse the kiss between Christine and Raoul. Part of her felt much more comfortable with this scene than with the scene where she would have to kiss the Phantom (some guy named Bryan Ryan, a supposed Lima legend), but another part of her was terrified. She knew what kissing Ryder was like, and she knew what effects it had on her brain. She had been vividly imagining kissing Ryder again on and off since Valentine's Day of her sophomore year, and that imagination of hers had gotten her into trouble in the past. She didn't think that Ryder had those kinds of feelings for her anymore, and she couldn't expect him to – not after she had chosen Jake and stayed with him for over a year.
Unfortunately, the first rehearsal where they had to kiss came and went, and Marley knew there was no hope. She had known that Ryder was the most important person in her life; she had already known that she was happiest with him and that she constantly wanted to be around him. What she hadn't known – or at least, what she had tried to ignore – was that she was in the process of falling hopelessly in love with him, and those on-stage kisses weren't doing anything to reverse that process.
On opening night of the play, though, Marley's increasing feelings for Ryder were pushed to the back of her mind by the overwhelming surge of nerves. This was going to be a much larger audience than when she had been in performances at McKinley; this was going to be covered in the town newspaper! If she screwed up, the whole community would know, and her always-fragile self-esteem wasn't prepared for that.
Ryder sidled up to her backstage. "You look nervous," he stated matter-of-factly.
"I'm freaking out," Marley admitted, unable to stop fidgeting. Ryder grabbed her by the shoulders and stared her straight into the eyes in a way that reminded her of their first kiss backstage before Grease. Not for the first time, Marley thought that Ryder was reading her mind, because he echoed his words from that night.
"You look amazing. You sound amazing. This is going to be amazing," Ryder said, smiling at her. She tried not to expect him to kiss her, but was disappointed anyway when he didn't. She would just have to wait for the feeling of his lips against hers onstage.
"That sounds familiar," she said playfully, swatting at his arm.
"That's because it's you. You're always amazing, Marley Rose. And you're going to charm the pants off of that crowd out there with your beautiful voice and your beautiful smile," he assured her as he reached behind his back.
"This, m'lady, is for you. Good luck out there." He handed her a lavender rose – lavender for charm – and winked at her as she was ushered away to where she was about to make her debut on the Community Theater stage.
Salmon is for Desire
It was barely a week after the final performance of Phantom of the Opera, and Ryder had been out of town with his family since the day after the show had closed. Marley had spent a lot of time with Unique and Sugar in his absence, but she found that it just wasn't the same. She felt herself wishing that Ryder would magically appear, but she knew that was silly. He was gone for at least two weeks, and he only had sporadic cell phone service at the mountain cabin where he was staying in Virginia.
More alarming than just missing the companionship of her best friend was the way she kept picturing their on-stage kisses over and over again. She couldn't screw this up; she couldn't lose Ryder. She had thought for a moment that maybe he still felt it too – that insane chemistry between them that made her toes wiggle and her heart giddy – but the moment backstage had come and gone, and all that had happened was he had given her a flower.
In the past, Ryder's roses had always made her feel special and appreciated. This was the first time she had found herself wanting something more, and she didn't like that feeling.
She did her best to hide what she was feeling, but her best friends could tell that there was something going on in that brain of hers. They never asked, and she never meant to tell, but Unique and Sugar would smirk at each other every time Marley jumped out of her seat at the sound of her phone. Sugar had even taken to giving Unique a thumbs-up whenever Marley's smile split across her face; they couldn't see her phone's screen, but those were the times when they could tell she had gotten a message from Ryder.
Even Kitty, who Marley saw much less frequently, had picked up on the girl's funk in the days since Ryder had left, and she took it upon herself to throw a slumber party for all the Glee girls, past and present. Marley grudgingly agreed to go, but made sure to pack her cellphone charger so that she wouldn't miss any calls or texts from her vacationing best friend.
Marley felt a bit awkward at first around people like Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry, who were at home for the summer, but she was glad to see Santana Lopez, her one time mentor, again.
"You kicked ass in Phantom, by the way," the Latina had said upon Marley's arrival. Then she had instantly handed her some fruity alcoholic beverage.
Marley had never really been a big drinker, but the other girls all seemed to be having fun, and she didn't see the harm in having a drink or two. Besides, the drink Santana had given her – she had called it a 'Sex on the Beach' – was surprisingly tasty, so Marley let herself get roped into playing a game of King's Cup (it took her forever to understand the rules!) with the other girls. Kitty had declared that it was a mandatory bonding experience, and Marley was glad for the distraction. She hadn't thought about Ryder for one whole hour, which, pathetically, was a record for her as of late.
Once the girls had settled down and crawled into sleeping bags for a slightly-intoxicated movie viewing, Marley felt her phone buzz. Her face lit up when she saw the name on the screen.
"Uh oh – must be Ryder. That's the end of her for the night," Unique joked to Sugar. Marley ignored them and flipped open the phone.
Just got back from a day of innertubing. We totally need to do more stuff like this when I get back to Ohio!
Marley, emboldened by the liquor in her system, hurriedly typed back the first thing that came to mind. Hurry up and come home! Lima is no fun without you.
Someone sure seems to miss me :-p. Marley could hear the teasing tone of Ryder's voice as she read his text message response.
In her tipsy state, Marley typed out I can't stop thinking about our kiss from Phantom. The words were honest, and it felt good to see them, to admit that was how she felt. She knew she shouldn't send them, though; even inebriated Marley wanted to preserve her current relationship with Ryder without making things complicated again.
Unfortunately, Kitty was sitting closest to Marley, and before she could backspace to delete the 'kissing' part of her message, the blond girl had snatched the phone and hit send.
"Oops!" Kitty's exaggerated tone of voice snapped Marley out of her stupor.
"Kitty! No!" Horrified, she wrestled for her phone.
"Hey! What happened to the 'no cell phone' rule?" Santana slurred, grabbing Marley's phone away from her. It was too late, though – no matter how hazy her brain felt after that game of King's Cup she had been talked into playing, she had still been able to read the words that Ryder had sent back to her. It was for real, Marley. It always will be. She snatched at the phone, but found herself toppling slightly, ending up in Kitty's lap.
"I see that smile, princess – get some sleep and you can talk to Loverboy in the morning," she said, shaking her head and wearing her trademark 'I'm judging you' smirk.
Marley was sure that she would be restless and fitful after what had just happened, but she surprised herself by immediately passing out.
In the morning, the girls woke up to the sound of Kitty's doorbell ringing. A chorus of groans rang out from the slumbering girls, but whoever was there was persistent.
"You go – you're closest to the door," Kitty grumbled, pointing at Marley.
"It's not my house," she whined, but pulled herself out of bed anyway. She was still always one to please, even when it was stuff like answering someone else's door at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning.
She was definitely not expecting the shaggy brown-haired boy standing on the front door. She had dreamt about Ryder the night before thanks to his text message - It was for real, Marley - so she rubbed her eyes slightly to make sure that he was actually here.
"Your mom told me I could find you here." Ryder chuckled as Marley, realizing that she was wearing only pajamas, hugged her arms around her chest.
"I thought you weren't going to be back until next week," she murmured, unable to resist the urge to step towards him.
"You didn't respond to the rest of my messages." Ryder also took a step closer to her, and her bare toes were just inches away from the tips of his sneakers.
"Santana took my phone away," Marley explained, biting her lower lip.
"I came back for you," Ryder said, his gaze never leaving her.
"Does that mean – " Marley was cut off as Ryder cupped her face gently in his hands and crashed his lips onto hers.
A few minutes later, the two finally broke apart, breathless. Marley caught sight of a salmon-colored rose that had fallen to the ground – salmon for desire – just as someone from behind her let out a wolf whistle.
"About time, girl!" Unique called to her friend as Marley shut the front door and leaned back in towards Ryder.
Red is for Romance
Later that evening, Marley fidgeted nervously in her living room. She was tugging at a green and yellow sundress that Kitty had bought for her that afternoon ("You can't go on your first looking like Hobo Barbie!"), obsessively trying to smooth out the skirt. Her feet were adorned with decorative sandals, and her hair was neatly combed. Kitty had done and redone Marley's makeup for her, showing a surprising amount of patience each time that Marley insisted she looked too unnatural.
"Yeah, you do kind of look like a sad clown-hooker," Kitty had admitted on her third try.
"Sad clown hooker? Really? How do you come up with these things?" Unique had demanded.
"That was the one useful phrase I learned from Finn Hudson," Kitty shrugged.
Marley had kicked her friends out an hour before Ryder was supposed to arrive, but she was seriously regretting that. Now all she was doing was fidgeting incessantly, and she was probably ruining all the hard work they had put in to making her look beautiful. It might have been worth it to have her friends totally humiliate her when Ryder showed up if it had kept her from feeling this anxious.
Marley had even voiced her fears to her mom in a complete moment of panic. "What if he realizes that kissing me was a huge mistake? What if he decides that I'm not girlfriend material? What if he realizes he's getting sick of me after all the time we've spent together this summer? What if he thinks I'm a total idiot for sending him that message last night, and this whole thing was just a joke?" Marley turned to her mother and was appalled to see that she was laughing.
"Mom! This is so not funny!" Marley exclaimed. "I'm having a nervous breakdown here, and you're laughing at me?"
"Sweetie, this first date has been about two years in the making," Millie told her daughter. "That boy has been crazy about you since the first day he met you, and that look in his eyes when he's with you – it's never gone away. He just got better at hiding it because it seemed like you were going to be with Jake for the long haul, Marley."
"What do you mean? How do you know that?" Marley demanded, still feeling like a wound up bundle of nerves.
"I'm a mom, baby. I know these things. That boy is going to walk through this door and sweep you off your feet, and he's going to love you for as long as you're going to let him. Ryder has always adored you, Marley – you just weren't ready to let him," Mrs. Rose said, chuckling. Marley was about to unleash another barrage of questions when the doorbell rang, and she let out a squeak of terror.
"You look beautiful, Marley – now go open the door for that poor boy," her mother said, ushering her towards the entrance of their small house.
Marley swung the door open, and instantly her nerves dissolved. She didn't pay any attention to what Ryder was wearing, or what he was holding out to her – all she saw was the way he stared at her when she opened the door, and suddenly calm washed over her.
"You look amazing, Marley. I brought these for you," Ryder added quickly, and only then did Marley notice the red roses he was holding out to her. It was fitting, after all of this time, all of their memories, and all of his roses, that on their first official date he would finally deliver the symbol for romance to her.
"Told ya so," her mom whispered as she took the flowers to put in water and urged her daughter out the door.
Pink is for Sweetness
The first time Ryder told Marley he loved her wasn't on some incredibly sweet and well-planned date. It wasn't right after some big romantic gesture. It wasn't accompanied by a song, or a present, or any of the things that Marley had pictured.
It was so much better than that.
Around Halloween of her senior year, Marley came down with the flu. She looked and felt absolutely disgusting. She stayed in her bed all day with a blanket for a cape, a messy bun where well-groomed hair should be, and an array of used tissues strewn about the nightstand. Every day after school, Ryder would come over, tuck himself into bed to snuggle with her, and rewatch the Hunger Games trilogy with her. Sometimes he would read to her, even though it was a struggle for him, because he knew how much she loved to read but also knew how hard it was for her to read for herself with her flu headaches.
He brought her chicken noodle soup on her mom's orders, but sometimes he snuck in tomato soup and grilled cheeses, which he knew were her favorite. He told her stories about all of the crazy things she was missing in Glee Club. He soothingly stroked her hair even though she probably hadn't washed it in about three days. He kissed her on the nose after she complained about how raw it was from Kleenex. Marley found herself once again overwhelmed by his tenderness.
On Thursday night, Ryder's curfew was rapidly approaching, but Marley snuggled in to him all the same. Her head was resting on his chest, and her shoulder was nestled into his armpit. Their legs were intertwined beneath the blanket – she would have to thank her mom later for how totally cool she had been about trusting the two of them alone together in her room.
"Stay with me, Ry," she mumbled sleepily when she felt his body weight shift in preparation for leaving. There was a rerun of How I Met Your Mother playing in the background, but Marley had long ago lost track of what was going on in the episode.
"I would stay with you forever if I could," he sighed, pulling her closer to him and wrapping both arms around her. He kissed the top of her forehead, and as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he whispered, "I love you, Marley. Sweet dreams."
"Love you too," was the last thing she remembered saying before she drifted off to sleep.
He was gone when she woke up in the morning, of course, but Marley could still remember what it felt like to fall asleep in his arms. She hoped she would get the chance to do that again – preferably sooner rather than later. Her face brightened a bit when she remembered the events of last night – Ryder had told her he loved her for the first time. She slid on her slippers and went down to find her mother at the breakfast table.
"Well, you're looking much better today!" Millie said to her daughter. "It looks like Ryder sure knows how to take care of you." Marley felt the smile creep onto her face again.
"Hey mom, I think I'm ready to go back to school today," Marley said. "But can we stop somewhere on the way?"
"Of course, pumpkin. You go shower up and I'll make you some breakfast."
Two hours later, Marley tracked down Ryder at his locker before homeroom.
"Surprise!" she announced, and her boyfriend couldn't help but grin.
"It sure is nice to see you back in the land of the living," he said, capturing her lips softly between his own.
"It helps that I had a good caretaker," she teased, sliding her hand into his. "Walk me to homeroom?" Ryder twirled her around, carefree and happy to have his girlfriend back at his side.
"By the way, I have something for you," Marley added, pulling from her bag what she had purchased with her mom on the way to school that morning.
"I believe this stands for sweetness – it seemed fitting, after all that you did for your snot-nosed, slimy-haired, sneezing hag of a girlfriend this week," she chuckled as she handed him a single pink rose. "Plus, I figured it was my turn to return the favor."
Fin.