Hey!

Please please please please please please please please please please please please, PLEASE.

No throwing the paper away! We put a lot of effort into this!

We figured, you're not asking out our favorite little spitfire (even though we see that your eyes are glued to her all the freaking time) is because you have no idea why you should ask her out, either that, or Bahorel is right and you're gay. Let's face it, you're still using the whole "patria-is-my-one-and-only-love" crap because you too much of a coward to ask her out. Eye rolls are permitted, and so is admitting silently to yourself (or on top of a table in front of the entire café) that we're right that you should just shut it with all the shit about liberty and call her right after you're done reading the last number of this entire how-to list. Right now, you're rolling your eyes but we know you're gonna read it anyway.

And if you're contemplating throwing this away, it was all Grantaire's idea therefore he should be the victim of your wrath.

Ready?

What is this all about, you ask?

25 REASONS WHY YOU, ENJOLRAS, SHOULD JUST ASK ÉPONINE OUT ON A DATE ALREADY

by,
the friends of the abc

minus Marius, because he cares more about his love life than your lack of one
plus Musichetta and Gavroche

#1

You like her.

Stop being such a coward.

No wait, you love, not just like, her. It's obviously time to break up with patria.

#2

It's gonna happen sooner or later.

Make that never, since you have the courage to lead a protest, but not ask her for her phone number.

#3

Gavroche is her brother, not to mention a sweet kid.

...Unless he's pulling Combeferre's hair for calling him a sweet kid.

#4

Having a girlfriend will totally make other girls never even attempt to flirt with you ever again!

Well, maybe. But it won't happen as much as before!

#5

You've liked her for a really long time.

It's pretty obvious when marble starts to crack.

#6

The both of you don't care about Marius' lonely soul.

#7

Enjonine.

Don't you think that sounds cool?

If not, try Épolras.

#8

If you don't ask her out, we're gonna make Jehan do it for you.

In the form of a sonnet.

#9

She's smart.

We guess you'd prefer that over some dumb blonde?

(No offense to Cosette.)

#10

Gavroche approves.

#11

We're running out of things to tease you about.

Having a girlfriend will give us, like, a million more.

#12

Her sense of humor will make up for your nonexistent one.

#13

If you date her, we'll never have to encounter Montparnasse ever again!

Well, unless he just wants to beat the shit out of you.

But that's your problem, not ours.

#14

Speaking of Marius, we specifically remember you asking Marius to invite her.

Stalker!

#15

Oh my God, the two of you would be the cutest couple ever!

(That's Musichetta by the way.)

#16

In fact, I don't think the two of you have even had a proper conversation.

Just talk to her before she notices the strange guy who keeps on watching her.

(And yes, we notice.)

#17

She's punched Grantaire in the eye.

Admit it, you were laughing when that happened.

#18

If you don't ask her out, somebody's gonna steal her away.

Let's just hope it's not Montparnasse.

Again.

#19

She likes the color red too.

We think.

Either way, that doesn't matter, that was a stupid reason.

Blame Grantaire.

#20

You were the only one who remembered it was her birthday last year.

Once again, we point out that you're a stalker.

#21

Since she works there...

FREE COFFEE AT THE MUSAIN.

Once again, we think.

#22

We put a lot of effort into this list, Enjolras.

If you're not gonna follow our advice, at least frame this piece of paper and hang it in your room.

#23

If you dump her, she won't be so awkward about it.

Then again, you won't have to dump her, because we're all pretty sure she's gonna end up being the girl you're gonna marry.

Plus, if you hurt her, we're on her side.

#24

We just want you to be happy.

#25

And to add to #24, as a final closing to this list, we know that she's going to make you happy.

Now, if you're smart, you're going to call Combeferre right now and get her number. You're going to talk to her, and say, maybe not in these exact words, "Hey, Éponine? My super-awesome friends convinced me to stop being such an idiot and call you..." you will then proceed to ask her out on a date. We know that we might be exaggerating when we say that one of us is gonna tell the story of this list years from now, but for now, just give the two of you a shot.

From,

Your Friends

Meanwhile on a different list about to be sent to a different person...

Hey, 'Ponine!

Ever hear of Enjolras? High and mighty, holier-than-thou type with the blonde hair and blue eyes? Your stalker?

If we did everything right, he's gonna ask you on a date soon.

Here's a list that we, the Friends of the ABC made for you, Éponine Thenardiér.

What is this all about, you ask?

25 REASONS WHY YOU, ÉPONINE THENARDIÉR, SHOULD AGREE TO GO ON A DATE WITH OUR GOOD FRIEND ENJOLRAS.

Éponine's #26, which will not be revealed to anyone part of the friends anytime soon...

#26

I like you too.

AN: While you're here, try reading and reviewing/favoriting/following my other story, Change of Heart. 'Kay? What did you think of this oneshot? Leave your favorite numbers/reasons along with your thoughts on this oneshot in a review!

Please review!

-a charming young girl
who is capable of being terrible