Jack walked away from Ralph fuming. How dare he be so uptight? Jack was just trying to have fun, and all Ralph could think about was that stupid fire.
Ralph and his bunch were big babies anyhow. But they were big enough to think they were the leaders of the island.
When Jack had finally arrived to his group, he threw his hands up, frustrated. "Who does Ralph think he is?! That moron's arguing with the wrong guy. No one says 'no' to fun - or to Jack!"
"Darn right," Roger laughed.
"Dismissed! Rejected! Yelled at! It's more than I can bear."
"More boar?"

me: "What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced!"
"Who, you? Never! Jack, you've got to pull yourself together!"

Roger began singing. "Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Jack, looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Jack. Even when taking your lumps."

"There's no boy in the choir as admired as you - you're everyone's favorite guy! Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see whyyyyy..." Roger looked to the boys, snapping for them to join.
"Nooo oooone's slick as Jack is
No one's quick as Jack is
No one's spear's as incredibly sharp as Jack's is!"
"For there's no one who can sing a C sharp! Perfect, a pure paragooon," Roger continued.

No one's been like Jack has
A king pin like Jack is!"
"No one's hair is as red and as wild as Jack's is!" Roger shouted.
Jack was suddenly inspired to join. "As a specimen, yes I'm intimidaaating!"
"My, what a guy that Jack iiiiiiis!"

The boys all started belting as loudly as they could. "Give five huurahs! Give twelve hip-hips!"
"Jack is the best and the rest is all drips!" Roger sang.
Then they all joined together again, jauntily moving their hands while holding bits of meat. "Noooooo ooooooone fights like Jack does
Douses lights like Jack does
On a hunting day no one gets out that spike like Jack does!"

The highest voices joined in. "For there's no one as burly or brawny!"
"As you see, I've got biceps to spare," Jack laughed, flexing his muscles.

"Not a bit of him's scragly or scrawny!" Roger cheered.
"That's right!" Jack shouted. "And every last inch of me's covered in hair!"
"That's not true!" A littlun whimpered to the side. Roger knocked him over and continued singing.

"No one hits like Jack does
Matches wits like Jack does!
"In a spitting match nobody spits like Jack does!"
"I'm especially good at expectorating," Jack boasted, spitting out to the ocean (which was a good distance away).
"Ten points for old Jack!" the others cheered.
Jack, now full of confidence and energy, began singing. "When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!"
"Bu-but..." the same littlun complained. "You aren't!"
Roger knocked him over once again.

"No one hunts like Jack does
Gets those hogs like Jack does!"

"Then goes around with the pig's head on a stick like Jack does!" Roger shouted with glee.
"I'll use pigs' heads in all my decoooraaating!"

"Say it again! Who's a man among men? And then say it once more! Who's the hero next door?"
"Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fangirls and all of his tribeeeee!"

A/N: There we go. Hope you liked it! We're totally willing to take song requests, if anyone has something they'd like to see. Review please! Thank you for reading! :)