"Killian…" Ruby murmured sleepily, and Killian groaned softly, squeezing his eyes shut against the inevitability of waking while his wife persistently poked him in the arm. "Wake up…"

"…What's wrong?" He finally muttered in return, his voice thick with sleep as he turned his head towards her, although his eyes were still closed.

"The baby's hungry…" she answered softly, her own eyes still closed as he finally blinked his way to consciousness. Killian scoffed a little.

"I think you mean mommy's hungry."

"Noo… I don't get hungry at three in the morning, so it must be your baby." She answered, bringing a slight smile to his lips.

"And I assume you're too tired to feed the baby?" Ruby nodded, this was ringing a lot of bells Killian had forgotten about in the last seventeen years, a lot of bells that he wished could go unrung. Ruby liked to be spoiled when she was pregnant, and Killian could never bring himself to say no. He sighed. "And just what is the baby hungry for?"

"Pickles… and peanut butter." Killian groaned, pushing himself up from bed. "And bacon!" She added, and he rolled his eyes.

"That's a lot to manage for a guy with one hand, love." He glanced down at her, snuggling comfortably under the covers, and he yawned just looking at her.

"I have complete confidence in you." She mumbled, they'd been married too long now for her to start doubting him now, and Killian groaned as he made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He was rubbing his eyes, but paused when he heard something coming from the kitchen… was that the door closing? He brandished his hook, peering around the corner slowly, able to make out a dark figure moving through the kitchen. His eyes darkened, and he readied himself to strike... right before the mysterious person tripped over one of the kitchen chairs, and the swearing that followed was just familiar enough to make Killian roll his eyes and step out from hiding, using his hook to flip on the light switch.

"Busted," Killian leaned in the doorway, lifting a single eyebrow at the teenager currently splayed out on the floor, blinking against the fluorescent lights as his eyes fixed on his father.

"I was…uh… just grabbing a snack?" Peter said the words as more of a suggestion than a fact, and Killian smiled wryly, looking down at the boy and wondering if that was really the best he could do.

"That fails to explain the lipstick, son." He gestured to the bright pink smeared partially over his mouth, and Peter winced.

"I'm… trying a new image?" He suggested again, and Killian sighed, at least his boy weren't no quitter. Killian stepped forward, reaching out a hand to help his son up.

"Let me guess, the Cassidy girl?" A mischievous smirk pulled Peter's mouth up in an all too familiar way, and Killian nodded wryly. "Watch yourself, a violent temperament runs in that family." He patted his son on the shoulder, and sighed. "You do realize I have to tell your mother about this."

Peter paused, looking aghast. "I actually don't realize that, not at all. She's under enough stress, you know. What with being knocked up unexpectedly, which I might remind you, is all your fault, I think she really needs to relax and I doubt this would help." He reasoned, and Killian raised a warning brow when the boy reminded him of his own current precarious situation with the lady of the house.

"You could be right," Peter gave his father a slightly bewildered look, wondering what the catch was. Killian sighed, walking over to refrigerator. "Your mother is in a delicate state right now, and we wouldn't want to over burden her." He opened the fridge, his tone sounding dangerously relaxed. Peter braced himself, waiting for the trap to spring. "You realize, of course, that would mean that I would have to punish you."

"You've never done that before," Peter pointed out, confused. Ruby had always handled discipline in the household, Peter assumed it was because his father was more likely to approve of rule breaking than to condemn it.

"Yes, your mother and I decided a long time ago that she ought to handle it, after she determined that my methods were… too extreme, I believe was the term." Killian said, emerging from behind the refrigerator door with a jar of pickles in one hand and a packet of uncooked bacon in the other. "Harsh, inhumane… cruel and unusual, I believe, were also included in her descriptions." Peter's eyes widened slightly as his father casually got out a frying pan, swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, he winced as Killian swung it around, landing on the stove with a loud clang that made him jump. Killian turned on the heat, slicing open the plastic packet of bacon with the tip of his hook before he glanced up at his son. "But, that was when you were a child. You're a man now, evidently," he gestured towards the lipstick marks, still fresh on his face, "I'm sure you can handle it."

Peter watched with uncertainty as his father started layering the bottom of the pan with strips of bacon, which slowly began to sizzle, and after a moment, he looked up to meet his bright blue eyes.

"I think we should probably just tell Mom."

"I thought you might say that." Killian smirked, and Peter narrowed his eyes at him. Damn manipulative pirate. Killian wiped his hand on a tea towel, before he handed it to his son. "Right, then. You finish this up, and I'll go and break the news to her." Peter grumbled something under his breath while Captain Hook, grabbing a jar of peanut butter and the pickles under his arm, returned upstairs.

"That was fast." Ruby was sitting up when he returned, and he bent down to kiss her on the forehead as he set down the two jars on her nightstand. "No bacon?" She pouted at him, and he sat down on the bed.

"It's coming. The boy's just finishing it up," Ruby's expression hardened, and she shot him a look of disbelief.

"You woke Peter up for this? Killian, he has school in the morning-"

"I did not. I merely caught him sneaking back into the house after what I can only assume was a night of debauchery." Ruby's mouth dropped open, and she leaned her head back into the pillows.

"Again?! I thought we made it clear the last time-"

"He's young, darling, and clearly we've been too lenient with him. If you'd just let me-"

"No." Ruby rolled her eyes, there was a reason she had taken up the role of disciplinarian and it had nothing to do with Killian being too much fun.

"Suit yourself, but he's just going to keep at it." Killian shook his head, climbing back into bed alongside his wife just before Peter appeared in the open doorway, holding a plate of bacon like a peace offering.

"Heeey Mom…" He hesitated before entering, and Ruby gave him a dirty look as she bit off the end of a peanut butter covered pickle, and he sighed. "I'm sorry?"

"Not as sorry as you're going to be." She replied, giving him a highly unamused look and a frustrated sigh. "Go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."