A/N: So I was trying to write a nice fluffy wedding fic when this scene popped into my head and I couldn't not write it. Because apparently I love to see Darcy squirm. I struggle to take anything seriously so I advise you to take the same approach on reading. Also I'm a lazy bum and didn't proofread this so apologies for any errors. I am neither Jane Austen, Hank Green nor Bernie Su and therefore own nothing, awesome though that would be.
"Gigi, I just wanted to ask, could I… ah, could you… give me your advice on something?"
"Sure, William, what's up?"
"I, um… well. The thing is I'm going to- that is, I want to- ask Lizzie to marry me."
Gigi's shriek could have woken the dead. William grimaced as she bounced on the spot, clasping her hands and grinning. She reached out to hug him, tears in her eyes.
"Oh, William, this is so great. I'm so excited for you! But what exactly do you need my advice for? Ooh, is it rings? I am GREAT at picking out jewellery. We should go shopping now!"
"Uh, no, I actually thought I'd use mom's ring. That is, if you don't mind, I know it's special to you too."
"No, of course. Lizzie should have it, it should go to the next Mrs Darcy. Besides, it would suit her far better than me. So?"
"Right, yes. Thank you, Gigi. I thought… maybe you could help me, uh, plan. The proposal. I need it to be perfect."
"YES. Not a problem. Oh, this is wonderful! Ok, let's start with where."
"I thought I'd take her to a restaurant and-"
"What, hide the ring in a champagne glass?" Gigi shook her head. "William, you need to focus on Lizzie. If you want this to be the perfect proposal, it needs to be all about her, not some cliché movie re-enactment. Besides, how romantic would it be if she were to choke on the ring?"
William sighed. "You're right. No restaurants then. Can we come back to that?"
"Sure. Why don't we practise what you're going to say? I'll be Lizzie. Go!"
"Right. Okay. Uh, well, uh, Lizzie, I… I wanted to ask you if… um… I… could ask you a question?" His shoulders dropped as Gigi rolled her eyes.
"I'm texting Fitz, we need him on this. Go again."
"Hey Gigi D! I got your text, what's- woah. WHAT is happening here?"
William, down on one knee before his sister, turned scarlet as he scrambled to get up from the floor and tried to choke out an explanation.
"It- I- we- not- "
"He's proposing to Lizzie," said Gigi through her giggles, "or at least he would if he could string a sentence together without having a panic attack."
"Aaaahhh, alright!" Fitz raised both hands for high fives which both siblings returned – one with a little more enthusiasm than the other. "So how are you hoping for this to go down?"
"Well, ideally, I ask her and she says yes."
"Obviously. I meant when, where, what will you say? Oh, you should take her dancing, seduce her with those smooth moves and she'll have to say yes!"
"I, uh, I think Lizzie and I have had enough bad dancing experiences. I was thinking something a bit more… stationary."
"Hmm. You know who's good at proposals? Bing. We should totally get his advice, I mean he did manage to get a Miss Bennet to say yes to him."
"Great idea!" Gigi chimed in as she turned to the computer. "Domino call Bing Lee."
"I really wanted to keep this quiet," William muttered as the app placed the call.
"Hey Gigi!" Bing answered with a smile and a three-fingered wave.
"Bing, glad you could join us. Darcy here is having a tad bit of trouble."
"Oh hey Fitz, didn't see you there. Is this a group thing? Is Lizzie there too? Wait, I'll go get Jane."
William groaned inwardly. He really didn't want an audience for this, especially one of Lizzie's sisters. He could only count his blessings that it would be Jane and not Lydia. Imagining the younger Bennet joining the group made him want to crawl under the desk and stay there. True, they got along better than they had in the beginning, but he knew she still found much hilarity in his awkwardness when nervous. No, best she stayed away from this conversation.
"Oh, hi everyone, it's so good to see you!" Jane's cheerful voice cut into his thoughts.
"Jane." William inclined his head toward the computer screen.
"I don't see Lizzie. I thought you said she was there too?" Jane turned to Bing with a confused expression.
"No, she isn't," Gigi clarified, "but it's her we called about. More specifically, how William should propose to her."
"You're proposing? Oh, yay!" Jane clapped her hands and beamed at the laptop. Beside her, Bing's face lit up in surprised delight.
"I am. That is, I want to, I'm just apprehensive of it going, ah… not well."
"Don't be silly, Darcy, Lizzie really loves you. Of course she'll say yes."
"That's not what I'm worried about. Well, it is, of course, but I want to make it the perfect moment for her. Hopefully, I'll only have one chance to do this and I would really like to get it right."
"Aww, that's so sweet!" Jane cried.
"So, Mr Lee," Fitz put in, "we called you for some pointers. Since you succeeded in snagging the lovely lady beside you, Gigi and I figured you could help out our good friend with his predicament."
Bing laughed, bringing a hand to the back of his neck. "Uh, well, Jane and I, we… it was a kind of spur of the moment thing."
The shy-yet-smug look on Jane's face told them all they needed to know. "Right," said Gigi, "no need for details. That was… less helpful than expected."
"Sorry Gigi."
"Maybe that could work," mused Fitz, with a far off look in his eye.
"No Fitz. No. I don't need to picture my brother like that. Besides, if you're going to plan a proposal, you don't plan to do it in bed."
Bing and Jane collapsed in a fit of guilty giggles.
"Really though, Darcy. Lizzie is bound to love whatever you-"
"Hellooo, Gigi!" Jane was interrupted by the sudden arrival of her loud baby sister in Darcy's home office. "Did you forget about lunch? And btdubs, don't you people lock your doors? Wait, what's going on here?" Lydia had caught sight of Bing and Jane on the computer screen and was immediately suspicious.
"Darcy's proposing to Lizzie!" Jane announced before William could stop her. He bowed his head in defeat.
"OMG NO WAY!" Lydia immediately grabbed him in a tight hug, startling him enough to give the others a good laugh. "How? When? Give me deets, Darce-face!"
William sank into a chair, slightly overwhelmed.
"That's what we were just discussing," Gigi smiled. "It has to be perfect and wonderful and everything she didn't know she wanted."
"I never said that!" William cried.
"Are you denying it?"
"N- no, but you make it sound like I'm being silly."
"Well, face it big brother, you kind of are. You know Lizzie loves you. You know she'll say yes. What else matters?"
"I just… I want it to be romantic. Big gestures take a lot of thought for me, and this is the biggest one I'll have ever made."
Lydia rolled her eyes. "What is wrong with you people? How can you not have the answer for this?" She was faced with a room full of blank stares. "Duh, Lizzie is a huge nerd. So are you, Darce. Sorry, but it's true. And what do nerds love? Books!"
Realisation began to dawn on Gigi's face. Jane frowned, Fitz cocked his head to one side, Bing smiled in expectation. William looked up at Lydia, confusion and hope and nerves radiating from his expression. "You go out, for a walk or a picnic or something. Make it a really sweet date. Then, when she's really happy and totes feeling the love for you, you take her to the San Francisco Public Library, right under that big glass dome thing, and say something cheesy and romantic about being surrounded by the greatest love stories of all time and making your lives one of them and you get down on one knee and pull out the ring and boom!"
Five mouths dropped open simultaneously.
"That's… kind of perfect." Gigi finally whispered.
"Yeah, that's so Lizzie." Jane nodded in agreement.
Fitz stared at Lydia, speechless. "What, I know my sister." She shrugged.
"Lydia," William stood, placing his hands carefully on her shoulders. "Thank you."
"No probs, Darce. Welcome to the family, I heard you make a great big brother." They both smiled at Gigi, who was tearing up again.
"I do my best. Now what were you saying about lunch?"