Spoilers for people who haven't watched 'The Millers Daughter'
This is a quick response to the lastest episode 'The Millers Daughter' which made me hurt for Regina so much and now we know there's no hope for Regina all because off Snow because if she goes through with what she has planned - Regina's actions will be unforgiveable by everyone's terms in Storybrooke. So we know how this is going to end - hopefully not but I fear Regina will end up dying in the end. What difference is Good & Evil if both happen to be the same. Who decides what's Good and what's Evil? Because even after everything Snow has done she is still the fairest and still Good and yet Regina is still Evil. So here's to Regina and everyone else that found Snow's actions unspeakable.
We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain't got no other,
We go when we go,
We're marching on.
Marchin' On by One Republic
XXX
Regina sat in her living room staring into the empty darkness, glass of apple cider in hand and bottles strewn carelessly around the room. The pain was enless, would it ever end? Would it continue to eat away at her? Was this how her life was supposed to turn out? A never ending torment?
When Snow had spoken to her while holding her mother's heart she really had believed every word that the woman had said. She had at that moment questioned everything she had ever done. What good was her revenge when she garnered nothing out of it? What good was anything when everything was so screwed up? She had begun to question whether or not she had made a mistake trying to seek revenge for something that seemed so little now.
So, so little.
The world around Regina slowly closed in on her nearly to a claustrophobic feel. Everything she ever cared about was gone. In a blink of an eye. Perhaps her mother was right and 'Love' really was a weakness. After all it only seemed to cause her pain. First with Daniel, in a blink of an eye he was gone. Then Henry and although he's still here he really isn't here - here just in the same town but barely with her anymore. He no longer cares. Then her mother the one person she believed really truly undoubtedly loved her had risked her life for the dagger instead and still she had followed the womans orders believing that deep down there was good in everyone.
Then there was Snow. The small tiny girl she had rescued on the horse. The one mistake she has regretted ever since. How could she be so careless as to believe a word that woman says? She honestly had too, she had believed above all else that Snow was right and some part of her still did believe that. That's not what hurt, what hurt was the fact that Snow had played her all along. After everything both of them had been through; the betraying of trust the first time around, the blood that the betrayal had all but spilled, the curse, the revenge that she had sought for Snow betrayal. After all that she had thought that Snow would be the one person who wouldn't screw her over again and apparently she was wrong. When was she herself going to learn? There really was nobody she could trust. Not a soul. Snow had betrayed her and for what? Her own revenge? To protect her family? All in all she had gotten someone else to do her dirty work for her and it had worked but at what price?
After everything that had happened in Fairytale Land and in Storybrooke she could honestly say that there was absolutely no reason as to why she shouldn't go all out once and for all. She had lost everything she cared about. If the town was coming for her she swore she wouldn't go without a fight and that she'd take as many with her as she could.
In all honesty she finally realized that yes she wasn't evil. No one was truly evil anymore just like no one was truly good anymore. This whole town had fallen to her level, they'd had all joined her at the bottom of the barrel, that barrel where nothing in life but your own happiness matters, where everyone is scrambling for that last piece of happiness - that last hope of a happily ever after. They were all just like her. Willing to do whatever it took to secure such a thing. But deep down inside she knew nobody believed that it existed anymore it was all wishful thinking - a way to take their minds of the truth that every they had believed in no longer existed. One large rip in the fabric of time and the world around them crashed.
So here she was again starting down the same path that had gotten her what? Henry. Even that she had lost eventually. Was there no end to this viscious cycle? Was she doomed to repeat it over and over again? Was she finally to succeed? Or was it going to be her downfall? Her ending? If it was she'd go out with a bang. She refused to be taken sitting down. She'd get up and push forward - push forward she would.
Power. Revenge. Mourning. Love. That last one was everyone's downfall in the end. Everything you love leaves you. Everything that you hold dear is what you imagine it to be - you don't see the truth until it's too late and by then your heart has cracked. The scars she had on hers were just proof of that. Of the never ending cycle of devastation that was life itself. The never ending cycle of destruction that life seemed to cause.
Yet at the same time the scars were there to prove that she was better then that, that she had gotten up pushed on. Putting one foot in front of the other. It was a parade with her everytime she got back to her feet. It was a march. Right, right, right, right, left, right. One foot after the other until she got what she wanted or died trying.
No matter what she'd march on through it all. She'd overcome. She'd get her revenge one way or another.
Because in the end everything always comes at a cost. Something she knew all to well. Something that was never going to change. Something she knew better then anyone else - and by the end of it all that in itself would be her undoing.
I had planned it differently but this is what came out. I hope you enjoyed because this is how I feel Regina should feel towards everything. I totally agree with her 100%. Hope everyone enjoyed and my other stories should get chapters soon.
P.S. - The song really does fit with Regina if you listen to it.