A/N- It's a bit personal, and I'm sure the whole thing just seems a bit random. But to me, there are specks of the many memories I wish I didn't remember so vividly.

Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER - I don't own Naruto.

"You've been pulling away recently…what's that about?"

I blinked as I heard the question, snapping out of my daydream. Glancing over at Ino, I analyzed the look she was giving me. Worry was painted all over her face, and hurt was deeply hidden beyond that. Not being able to take anymore, I tore my gaze away from her. Then frowning back at the ceiling, I mumbled back, "What are you talking about?"

"I mean you are acting kind of distant and I can't figure out why." Ino explained as she looked back down at her binder, her pencil slipping out of her grip, "You don't talk to me anymore. It's like we aren't even best friends."

I sighed, rubbing my eyes as I stretched. We had just gotten back to the dorms from our classes. An 8 hour day spent with boring Biology, English, Theater, and Math. We usually came back to rest for a bit, do homework, or just watch TV before going to the café for dinner. I was choosing for a nap today, but I realized now that Ino wouldn't let this go with a flip of my wrist.

"It's because I have nothing to talk about," I explained simply, scratching my nose with a yawn, "I mean we aren't kids anymore, Ino. I don't have problems left and right like I used to."

"Besides the problems, you just seem different. Like… You are off in your own world," Ino pressed, watching me carefully, "It's like you are floating, and you don't even try for half the things you used to."

I stared at the ceiling, a hard frown on my lips. I knew exactly what she meant, but I was frustrated she was putting it in such a nonchalant way. There was more to it, more that bothered her, and it was annoying me that she was beating around the bush instead of saying it plainly, "Because what's the point of trying, Ino? Why try so hard if there isn't a decent reward?"

"Decent reward." Ino mumbled back, her voice cracking slightly as I stabbed her in the chest.

I gritted my teeth, closing my eyes to push my anger aside, "I don't mean it like that, and you know it so don't start… I mean, why take the extra step when it's unnecessary. I don't need to, so why force myself? I don't know. I like it better this way."

"This way. You mean sitting here letting things go left and right when all I do is ask you to explain some things to me." She snapped back.

I shook my head with a small laugh, "You want me to do more than explain Ino, so don't give me that. We both know what you want."

"What do I want then?!" She demanded with a frustrated fist pound to the bed, "If you know me so well, what do I want Sakura?"

I opened my mouth to tell her exactly what she wanted, but the words stopped at my lips. Opening my eyes, I realized what was happening, and with a small smile, I decided to take the high road. Shaking my head, I looked away from her, "Ok Ino. You win. Let's just drop it."

"Don't do that." Ino said in annoyance, "Stop dropping everything."

"Why?" I teased, rolling over to curl up into my blankets.

"Because you drop everything all the time! It's like you don't care." She explained furiously, "I don't get how you can start something and then just suddenly not care in the end of it."

"I do care, Ino, just not enough." I replied in a tired tone. A few seconds of silence passed as I laid there, staring at the wall.

"Whatever." Ino spat out softly as she stood from the bed, "Do what you want. I'm going to go get dinner. I'll see you later."

I let out a small laugh, smiling as I felt her stand from the bed, "If you think that isn't running away also, then you are sadly mistaken."

"Fuck off." She mumbled before opening the door and letting it close behind her.

Still smiling, I roll over and see the room empty. Shaking my head, I curl back into bed, "Yup. Not my fault."

X

I poked at my fries as I sat alone, staring at my food. The café chattered away with the people talking inside, having their own personal conversations and enjoying the free time. I nibbled at the fry I held and dropped it back on my plate, feeling incredibly unsatisfied yet not hungry at all. Frowning softly, I pushed the tray away from me and glanced around.

Just then my friend Kiba slid into a seat in front of me. With a grin, he placed his plate down, "Hey there. Why are you sitting alone?"

I smiled and moved my tray to give him some room, "No reason. Just came to dinner at an odd time."

"Oh yeah, I can get down with that." Kiba said with a nod as he popped a fry in his mouth, "Where's Ino? Off in the library?"

"She could be," I answered with a shrug, "We got into a small fight, so she has completely disappeared on me."

"Sucks, girl." He replied with a sympathy smile. With a rustle of his hair, he leaned back, "Maybe you should follow after her."

I gave him a look, "Seriously?" I asked with a dumb stare, "Like I want to deal with her bitching."

"Aw come on, don't be harsh," he said with a frown, "And the reason I say it is because I'm sure that's what she wants."

I glanced back at him with a frown, "You think she's off hiding somewhere waiting for me to find her?"

"Well duh. It's what chicks do." Kiba said as he ate another fry. Swallowing, he took a sip of his drink and said casually, "I mean a girl fights with you and storms off, but the moment her back is turned she expects a hand there to stop her."

I wasn't convinced. With a roll of my eyes, I looked back to my plate, "I don't think that's what Ino is about."

"Trust me. It is." When I looked back up at him curiously, he rolled his own eyes, "Come on. You don't think I would know this type of stuff? Three sisters in my family and I was the youngest, I know exactly what girls want; Which is why the ladies can't keep off of me."

"Because you romance them in such a soft porn type of way?" I teased, laughing as he flipped me off. Sighing, I began wonder if Ino was indeed waiting for me to find her.

I glanced up to ask Kiba if it really could be true, but his eyes were already on me, and with a smile, he answered my unspoken question, "Yes, she is out there waiting on you. Easiest thing in the world too. It's like getting bonus life in Mario. Literally all you have to do is take the time to get the extra coins all over the place."

I scrunched my face, "Great. But. I mean how am I supposed to find her?"

"You already know where to find her, idiot." Kiba said as he bit his burger, "She is where she always goes when she is upset."

My eyebrows came together, "How do you know about that place?"

Kiba grinned, "I don't, dork. But you do. And if you do, then you should move your ass there right now. I say you have another ten minutes before she completely gives up on you."

For a moment, I thought logically what would happen if I went there and she didn't want to see me at all. But as my mind tried to come up with a reaction Ino would give me, I realized I never gotten one where she totally pushed me away.

Cursing silently, I stood up and grabbed my tray. I looked a Kiba and he gave me a smile, "Good luck bro. Hopefully everything will go well."

"Do you want it to?" I asked, curious as to why he helped me out in the first place, "I mean. Are you and Ino close or something?"

"No." He answered with a shrug, "I just know how you guys look together all the time, so figured I'd help you out."

"How do we look?" I asked.

"Adorable," he replied with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Smiling and rolling my eyes, I waved goodbye and dumped my food in the trash.

With a breath I pushed the door open and left the café. I glanced around. It was dark and there were only a few students still walking about outside. They were bundled as the wind picked up occasionally, making it beyond freezing. Wondering if Ino was still waiting, cold and freezing, I began to walk.

X

To my absolute surprise, Ino was exactly where I thought she would be. Sitting under a tree looking down the hill, she had her knees to her chin and she was holding herself. My heart shuddered as I walked towards her, feeling nervous for some odd reason.

As I approached, my throat grew dry. I held my hands in tight fists as I came closer, still fighting with myself as to what I was going to say. I wrecked my brain for words to string together, but as I reached her my mind was completely blank.

I stood there for a moment, not saying anything because I couldn't. I assumed she realized I was there, It was hard not to, but she hadn't acknowledge me yet, so it was silent. Seconds passed as I simply stood there, and seconds more passed as I attempted to think of something.

Again. Nothing came to mind. Giving up, I sighed and sat down on the other side of the tree. With my back against it, I brought my knees up and rested my arms on them. Legs spread, I stared down my side of the hill, staring down at the grass that blew with the cold wind.

Then, as if we weren't fighting at all, I asked casually, "How long have you been here?"

Silence.

I glanced behind my shoulder, but of course couldn't see her. Just as I turned back around, I heard her answer softly, "I don't know…"

"Hmm." I replied, glancing down at my fingers as I stretched them, "Well. I can only imagine it has been awhile. Why don't we go ahead and kick it home?"

"I don't want to if you're going to be there."

I blinked. Frowning, I stared at the ground between my feet, "Well that was harsh."

"Well if all you're going to do is tease me about things that honestly bother me, then yeah, I don't want to be around you." Ino snapped, having no remorse, "It pisses me off that you just brush off my problems like that."

"Problems?" I asked, snorting with a shake of my head, "Those weren't problems, Ino. You had a complaint about me, and I told you not to worry about it. Just because it wasn't the answer you wanted to hear, doesn't mean I'm brushing it off."

"It didn't seem like you cared to me," Ino countered, "Seemed like you were just being a jerk about it too."

I sighed, growing annoyed, "Just because I don't baby you right off the fucking back doesn't mean I don't care. Or that I'm being a jerk. And I'm not going to baby you over something as silly as that. Get over it, it's not even a big deal."

"If you only came here to argue, then just leave." Ino said, brushing over everything I had just said, "I don't want to argue."

"This isn't an argument," I replied back, rubbing my eyes as I attempted to calm down, "This is us trying to get over an issue."

"All you are doing is being an asshole." She corrected.

"No. All I'm doing is sitting out here with my best friend, attempting to bring her away from this cold and HOPING we don't have to fight about something as silly as this." I corrected, standing up from the ground and walking around the tree.

When I reached Ino's side, she refused to look at me. With a frown, I shoved my hands in my pocket and looked away from her as well, "Listen. I didn't come here to make you feel bad or to piss you off. I came to come get you and bring you home with me. Maybe we can watch a movie? Or play a game? Anything you want to do."

"Why would you want to hang out with me?" Ino grumbled from the ground.

Shrugging, I kicked the dirt at my feet, "Because you are my best friend. Because I love your company… And because I want to watch a movie, if you honestly wouldn't mind."

"I'll be there later."

Sighing, I scratched my head. I eyed her, waiting for her to look up at me, but she continued to make a point at not giving me a glance. A tad hurt, I forfeited and mumbled, "Well…just don't stay out here for too long. Ok?"

"Sure." Was the only reply I got.

Gritting my teeth, I turned around and left Ino there.

X

I had been laying there watching my movie for an hour. It was one of my favorites, so I already knew everything that happened within it. I had only put it on for some comforting background noise as I slept, and it was working because I had begun to doze off.

Just when I was falling into slumber, I heard the door open up slowly. My eyes slowly came open as I laid there, my body rebooting sluggishly. Blinking, I stretched with my arms, giving a huge yawn as I scratched my jaw.

Keys were placed down on that counter quietly, which caused me to roll over sleepily. As I saw Ino taking off her shoes, I greeted softly, "Hey."

"Hi." She replied, not bothering to look up. With a frown, I tried to ignore it. Instead I sat up and scratched my head, yawning again as I sleepily looked for the remote. I patted the bed around me, hoping for my fingers to magically brush against it so I could turn off the TV. In the middle of my patting, Ino had spoken up.

"I didn't mean to wake you up."

I smiled sleepily and shrugged, "No biggie. I was only half sleep, my subconscious was still enjoying the movie."

"Are you going to finish it?" Ino asked quietly, sitting at the edge of her bed.

I shook my head, "Nah. Gonna go ahead and turn it off. I'm sure you don't want all that light pouring in while you try to sleep anyway."

"I wouldn't mind it." She told me.

"It doesn't matter," I assured, now focusing all my attention on finding the remote, "I think I'm going to sleep so no point of the movie."

Finally, I found the remote and flipped it in my hand, my thumb searching for the power button. Before I could press it, Ino murmured from the other side of the room, "I want to watch it."

I blinked, and with a small smile, I said, "Oh. Well, ok we can watch it if you want."

"Great…" I watched as she fidgeted with her fingers for a moment. When she finally decided to look up at me, I stared within her eyes and waited patiently. Finally, she mumbled, "Can I watch it over there with you?"

My heart skipped a beat as I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Then, blinking and shaking my head, I nodded quickly, "Yeah of course. It's warmer over here anyway."

She stood up from her spot and soundlessly made her way towards me. As she approached, I scooted back in my bed, trying to give as much room as possible. She sat down uncomfortably, glancing back at me as I scooted more.

"You can lie down if you want," I offered, "There's enough room."

"K…" She replied, sliding and laying down.

I grabbed the sheets, tugging them to bring it up to us both. When there was enough to divide evenly between us, I tossed some over her and made sure she had a decent amount. When she glanced at me as I did so, I looked away and hurriedly tried to finish. When I was done, I plopped to bed and hid behind her, pressing myself as much as I could against the wall.

After a moment, she mumbled, "Do you have the remote?"

I blinked, and with a silent curse, I realized it must have gotten lost in the sheets again. Sitting up, I glanced around and murmured, "You have to be shitting me."

As I patted the sheets to find it, Ino shifted to watch me, "Where is it?"

"In the sheets, I think." I replied, carefully avoiding her eyes. I ventured my hands further, sliding them about to see if I could bump against it. As I focused searching for a rectangle under the sheets, my left hand slipped and brushed against Ino's… butt.

Eyes widening, I snatched my hand away. Frantically I sputtered, "Sorry. Sorry. It was an accident."

She mumbled softly, "It's ok…"

Heart pounding from my chest, I silently murmured to myself, devastated about what had just occurred, "I can't believe… Such an idiot….Where the fuck…. I swear if this thing doesn't pop up in the next…"

Then, like some bright light miracle, my hand touched the remote and I snatched it up with relief. Brushing my thumb over the buttons, I pressed play and carefully leaned forward to place in front of Ino. When she glanced back, I smiled nervously at her with a shrug, "I'm sure you'll do a better job at keeping it in one spot."

She didn't reply, simply rolled back over. With a breath of relief, I laid back down and pressed against the wall. The movie continued with the volume on low as the action streamed lights against the walls and ceiling. From where I was laying I couldn't see a thing, but I could hear what was happening and I could see the action right from memory.

Moments passed, then minutes. Soon, we were 15 minutes in and I hadn't gotten the courage yet to shift or bother to get more comfortable. Even worse, I still couldn't see anything. I simply laid there, staring at the sheet cover back of Ino as I listened to the movie. It didn't bother me, but I started to realize that time seemed be going so much more slowly; it was like my mind was grasping the fact that I was doing nothing but literally lying there and breathing.

My limbs fought with me, itching to slip and slid across the bed to get a decent position. After a moment though, Ino herself had moved. It was slight, and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to notice, but she had slipped closer towards me, and after a few seconds, her head shifted as well.

My heart sank. I started to worry if I would be squished against the side just to keep from touching her. Blinking, I glanced down between us. There wasn't much space to work with. The amount we were separated before was almost like a comfortable cushion, now I felt a bit panicked and suffocated.

Minutes passed, and Ino had done it again.

I was becoming a wreck by now. Glancing and wondering if there was any way to get myself out of this situation. My full body was pressed against the wall, and no matter how much I wiggled, I couldn't magically make more space for her to get comfortable with.

Seconds this time before she shifted once more.

Fuck, my mind screamed as I tried to remain calm, Fuck fuck fuck. I'm not sleeping tonight am I? I can't sleep when I'm so paranoid like this.

In the middle of my long panicked rampage, Ino had moved, this time her it was her head, and her eyes locked on to mine.

My heart sputtered, but I couldn't seem to move my eyes away from her. Suddenly, just as unexpectedly as she had locked eye contact with me, she dipped back over her shoulder and wiggled closer. And then, softly, a sound reached my ears.

It was a whine, a soft whine that could have been compared to a dog's, but much smoother and soft. Hearing it sent a pulse down my body. For some reason, it was the most tempting, skin shivering, sexiest thing I had ever heard. As she continued, I knew it was too much for me to possibly be able to handle.

As she whined she glanced back at me, and with a frown, she mumbled, "Why are you so far away…"

I swallowed and found myself completely frozen. My mind had gone blank and my throat had gone desert dry. I must have looked like a fool, because she slowly took my arm and tugged on it slightly, whining as she did so.

I was lost. To the world, to the moment, to my own self. I was lost and no one could have ever found me.

No one, expect her.

Suddenly, I was moving, shifting towards her with such smooth motion it was startling. Thoughts of doubt were gone as I pressed my full body against her back, and without any second thoughts, I slipped my hand over her waist and slid my palm against her skin.

She was so soft. So smooth. Leaning down, I nuzzled against the back of her shoulder, and with a small curl of my legs, I spooned her body perfectly with mine. My arm slithered across her as I pulled her closer. My other arm slipped underneath her pillow and head as I got more comfortable. Breathing in slowly, I realized how good it felt to hold Ino like this and how I wanted this for as long as I could have it.

Her whining noises changed. As she wiggled her bum against my hips, she made a noise that I could only describe as…

Happy noises.

I was lost. Completely lost… No one could have ever found me except for her.

And I hoped I was never found. I hoped… she would let me continue to be lost in her.

I hoped…

I don't particularly enjoy this story. In my mind, I know exactly who it is about and I hate myself for writing it. Look at it well folks, my life is peppered all over this story. Along with my life, my past relationship and the ups and downs it had.

I don't enjoy it. No I do not. But I won't take it back either. This story was written because I miss her, and I can't stop missing her. But if it had to end, I'm glad it was sooner than later.

I don't usually end this in a bad note, but I think tonight it is appropriate that I do.

I loved her. A lot. So Fuck life and everything that it represents.

Shycadet hoped. Loved. Lived. Laughed. And only once in her whole entire life, Breathed.

And now as every candle's fate.

Shycadet is Out.