The Deadpooling of Tsukune Aono:
By: One Hell of a Night.
Tsukune Aono, he is a somewhat "likeable" teenager with a girl problem. What are the specifics of this problem you may ask? Well every girl around him gets sexually aroused by his very appearance and then the fan boys get pissed off. However it's now up to one brave merc with a mouth to kick his ass and bring peace to the…..wait no… he's going to HELP Tsukune kick ass and bring peace to the world. How you may ask? With shitty writing and bullshit back stories that's how! (Just kidding please don't hate me). So here we go!
It was a calm Monday morning in the apartment of Wade Wilson. The sun shone in from his windows, so he painted them black. Deadpool was sitting in his big red lazy boy and enjoying the magical taste of lucky charms. "Ah this is the life! No sunshine, no women, and nobody to talk to….oh God this is terrible." Deadpool said to himself.
"Hey don't fret my boy, for tales of unknown adventure await us in distant worlds beyond!" Deadpool's brain reassured his counterpart. "You know it's not really foreshadowing when the title paragraph just flat out says what's going to happen right?" Deadpool asked his brain. "Well you see there's these things called boom tubes… and they bring people to the bat cave." DP's brain stopped his rant after he hears a giant –whoosh- . "I swear to god if juggernaut just had to face a break-up and is going on a rampage I am going to shit bricks….and then join forces with him because I'm so bored!" Deadpool said to himself.
The shitting of bricks would have to be saved for later as a giant, white, gaping hole appeared right under Deadpool's lazy boy and sucked him into it. "You know I feel a really poorly written Hentai coming on." Deadpool says out loud. "Why do you say that?" DP's brain asks. "Because my pink-squishy thinking friend we are headed for JAPANLAND!" Deadpool answered his brain's question. "Why isn't it ever Candy land, or Story land, or SexyLadiesLand?" DP's brain asked once again. "Keep that last suggestion in our head, because if this is anything like the crossover description says I think we might just end up there." Deadpool once again answered.
Meanwhile at "Fairy Tale Headquarters", our brave group of Yokai Academy heroes are combating the evil forces of fairy tale's elite monsters and henchmen. With his newly acquired super powers Tsukune was able to plow right through the welcoming committee at a fairy tale assembly. Tearing right through their defenses! Their blood was pumping and the tone was set to rip fairy tale a new one and restore balance to the human and monster worlds.
Our heroes were sneaking through the halls of fairy tale, carefully watching out for any powerhouses who could take them down in an instant. Then at least 4 feet behind where Yukari was standing our loveable merc with a mouth appeared straight out from his white portal. "Glados can suck it!" Deadpool thought to himself. "Now let's see what's going on here. Oh no! There are people here! AND THEY'RE WEARING MEANACING BLACK UNIFORMS WITH YELLOW TRIM! One of my many one weaknesses!" Deadpool had to think quick and decided to hide behind a corridor right next to him. He peeked from a safe distance to see if the group had noticed him or not.
"Yeah that's right all of you scary bee people! Behold my powers of patiently spying on you out of fear and desperation! I can just imagine you shaking in your boots as you cower under the coward…ness of Deadpool!" Deadpool once again thought to himself. "Sadly I think that we are not indeed in Japan. You lying bastard-man!" DP's brain said to himself. "Fear not my lad, because I have a plan! We plant 5,000 flowers and place them in front of the bee people! They'll be so distracted that they won't notice us sneaking by in our pimping Ferrari going CHA' BUDDY!" Deadpool mentally replied.
Before Deadpool could perform the worst Scooby-doo trap ever he was caught off-guard by a black-haired woman with a black coat on. She had purple eyes that glowed even in the lit-up halls of the fairy tale HQ. It was none other than our cheeky friend Aqua Shuzen. Aqua Shuzen is the step-sister of Moka Akashiya (aka love interest girl #1). She is best known as the black devil, and her signature move is the dimension sword which is a blade that can cut through anything.
"Aiya, are you another one of those trespassers who wishes to take my step sister away from here?" Aqua asked in a serious and angry tone.
"Aw, it's so cute! How about we name her SunshineFairyDustLoveRainbow s? Deadpool's brain asked. "That could probably be used as another horrible MLP name but I digress." Deadpool wittingly remarked. "Now why don't you run home to your mom kid and go play with your dollies or something because Grown-Up DP here has to figure out where he is and….." Before he could finish his speech DP was cut in half by Aqua's dimension sword. When Deadpool woke up he was gazing upon a familiar face, it was Death.
"I told you not to come here unless you were actually dead." Death scolded Deadpool. "Babe I'm sorry I got carried away, I honestly thought that that girl with the evil eyes was an innocent fun loving child." Deadpool said in the most redundant manner possible. "Now get up, your healing factor is taking you back to the realm of the living." Death said as Deadpool came back to life. Deadpool drew his eyes up to see a little girl looking down upon him. "Are you another one of those "I may look like a child but I'm not now die" little girls?" DP asked with a slight panic in his voice.
"No. Do you need help? You don't look like a fairy tale agent." The girl asked DP. "It depends, are there any older women here who don't want to kill me?" Deadpool asked. But the girl ignored DP's question and picked him up off the ground. "My name is Yukari Sendo. What's yours?" Yukari asked. "Well little one I'm glad you asked! I am the ultra-super, hyper, ultimate, sexlicious, super Sayian, ninja, pirate, wizard man- beast known as Deadpool the great. But you can call me Deadpool." Deadpool said with a bit of gloating in his voice.
Tsukune and the rest of the group had just finished defeating a fairy tale committee member and were stopped by Yukari before advancing any further. Tsukune asked Yuakri, "Who is that Yukari? Is he a fairy tale operative?" "Yes genius I am not attacking you and your colleagues because I am clearly an evil operative of this evil establishment." Deadpool sarcastically answered. "Dude what's up with the sarcasm today? Is it the lucky charms?" DP's brain asked out of curiosity. "Don't worry bro I got this." Deadpool answered.
But before Tsukune and the others could retaliate another operative appeared. This operative was tall and mean-looking, but the one thing that stuck out the most was his clown mask. Anger filled up Deadpool's entire being for deep in his heart he had a hatred of clown kind. "All righty genius boy if you help me defeat this clown I'll take back what I said about your hair." Deadpool said to Tsukune. "But I don't remember you saying anything about my hair." Tsukune replied confused. "Not out loud you don't my anime friend with bee outfit." Deadpool said as he pulled out a machine gun and began firing at the clown. The clown dodged the bullets and came straight at Deadpool holding him up by the neck. "Hey –cough- anime bee man….-cough- I need help over here." Said Deadpool while he was being choked. Tsukune thought quickly and used his magic to create a massive super punch that broke the clown's grip on Deadpool.
"It's time to end this ones and for all." Deadpool yelled at the top of lung.
To Be Continued…?
One Hell of a Corner:
Hello new and old readers alike I'm One Hell of a Night (aka OHoAN) I just wanted to say thank you for reading this chapter. Now I'm a big fan of the merc with a mouth and it just so happens I can write his dialogue a little better than others. So please forgive me if you think "He should've said this" or "She wouldn't say that" OK? This is a one-shot deal but I left it open just in case people like it enough. So I hope you like this and want more and if you don't well hey that's life. Please do not troll or flame for the MLP comment I made earlier. Just because I don't like the show doesn't mean I hate the people who do like it so please keep MLP out of the discussions, comments, and reviews. Thank you very much and enjoy.