Bonus Chapter! Mostly dialogue/monologue, Tony's version of Cinderella . . .

"So, once upon a time—"

"What does that mean?"

"Geez, I don't know, it's just how you start a story! Haven't even finished a sentence and you're already asking questions. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a man named . . . Odin."

"HIS NAME WAS ODIN?!"

"No, calm down! I don't really know some of their names, so I just made them up! Now, if I may continue! Odin had a beautiful daughter with white-gold hair and crystal-blue eyes, named Ella. When she was about six years old, her mother died. Odin, soon after his mourning, decided she was too young to be without a mother, and sought out to remarry. He found an old widow with two daughters about the same age as his. They were snooty and prideful, and did not have such adorned features as his girl did. Their names were, I think, Anastasia and something else weird, hang on. Jarvis?"

"Yes, sir?"

"What are the names of the two step sisters in Cinderella?"

"Which version, sir?"

"I don't know, the Disney one."

"Anastasia and Drizella."

"Thank you. Anyway, Anastasia and Drizella were really mean to Cinder—I mean, Ella. And soon after they arrived, Odin died, leaving her with her cruel stepmother and stepsisters. Her stepmother, named . . . Jane (Loki laughed quietly), was jealous that she was so much prettier than her daughters, so she made her live in the tiny attic room and cook and clean for them. She was always covered in cinder from the fireplaces, so they started calling her 'Cinderella.'

"One day, the King decided his son needed to get married, but the prince wanted to choose his own wife instead of having it arranged. But the King was too impatient, so he decided to have a ball and invite all the eligible women in the Kingdom and make his son choose there. Cinderella answered the door and got the notice from one of the King's subjects, and brought the letter to her stepmother. Anastasia and Drizella were excited, and talked about what they would wear. Jane saw this as a chance to get to higher places in life, and she was determined to have one of her two daughters win the heart of the prince.

"But they were ugly, rude, and impolite, despite their life-long lessons in nobility. So she planned to spare no expense getting them dolled up and making sure they behaved. Amidst their planning, Cinderella addressed her stepmother.

"'It says all eligible ladies,' she said, 'so that means I can go too, right?'

"Jane didn't want her to go, because she knew how much more appealing she was than Anastasia or Drizella, but she knew Cinderella was right, and she couldn't outright tell her 'no.'

"Instead, she came up with a plan. She told Cinderella she could go to the ball, and her step sisters were furious! But she cut them off. She said, 'You can go to the ball if you finish all of your chores. And, I need you to clean out all of the fireplaces. And wash the windows and the floors. And do all the laundry, along with cleaning and feeding the animals. And, of course, if you can find something to wear. '" Loki made a soft whimper. "What's wrong?"

"She'll never be able to finish all those chores in time for the ball!"

"Oh, relax, it's just a story! Besides, it has a happy ending. Anyway, Cinderella secretly had a beautiful dress that used to be her mother's, and she was able to finish her chores just in time to go. She came running down the stairs in her dress just as they were leaving. Her stepsisters were so angry, they tore her dress up!" Loki whimpered again. "So Cinderella went out into the garden and cried! Then, since she was so nice and kind to everyone, her fairy godmother arrived!"

"A fairy godmother? What is that? Does everyone have one?"

"Uh, no. She's just an old lady that felt bad for her and wanted to help. And she has magic. Anyway, stop asking questions, you're supposed to be trying to sleep! So, the fairy godmother told Cinderella that she could go to the ball, and used her magic to turn a pumpkin into a carriage and some mice into horses. Then, she made Cinderella a beautiful dress and fancy glass slippers and sent her on her way, but she warned her that she had to be home by the stroke of midnight, or the spell would be broken. At the ball, everyone was stunned by her beauty. She and the prince danced and talked, and she forgot about the time.

"Then, the she noticed it was almost midnight! So she said goodbye to the prince and ran out, while the prince tried to catch up to her. On the stairs, one of her glass slippers fell off her feet, but she had to leave it or she would run out of time. She got in her pumpkin carriage and rode as fast as she could home, and as the clock sounded the twelfth of midnight, the carriage turned back into the pumpkin, the horses turned back into mice, and she was back in her mother's torn dress.

"But, the other glass slipper was still there, because she lost the other one. She had unusually small feet, so the prince decided he would take the slipper she lost to all the ladies that attended the ball and make them try on the shoe, which was silly because he should have just skipped all the people that he was already introduced to, but anyway, I guess that wouldn't work in the story."

"What if someone else fit in the shoe?"

"Be quiet, and no one did, okay? Just listen. His buddy, uh, Thor, took the shoe around to everyone, and was ready to give up by the time they got to Cinderella's house. But Jane had seen Cinderella acting all in love, and she just knew it was her that they were looking for, so she locked Cinderella up in the attic while the guy tried the shoe on the stepsister's big ugly feet.

"Cinderella got . . . some mice friends to steal the key or something—don't even ask anything about that, 'cause I don't know—and she got out of the attic and hurried down the stairs. The shoe popped off of Anastasia's huge foot and broke on the floor."

"Wait, just one last question!"

"Ugh, okay, what?"

"Why did it break? Midgardian shoes are not that breakable."

"No, this one was made of glass, remember?"

"Oh, the whole thing was? I understand that before plastic, Midgardians would fashion fake jewels out of glass, so I thought it was just that . . ."

"Yeah, I don't know, I'm not a fairy tale scholar. Anyway, where was I? Yeah, it broke, but Cinderella had the other one, so she showed it to them, and how it fit on her perfectly, and they realized it was her! So, she and the prince were married, and they lived happily ever after, the end."

"Aw, how sweet . . ."

"Loki! Go to sleep."

"No, I want to know more! What happens next?"

"I told you, 'the end'. No more."

"What? That ending sucks!"

"Okay, I will tell you a little bit more, but then I'm leaving even if you're not asleep."

"Okay."

"So, Cinderella got pregnant! And she had . . . twins, named Loki and Tony. Loki and Tony grew up together and were such good friends, they played together every single day, and had so much fun. One day, Tony broke his leg, and Loki found out he had magical powers an healed it! Then Tony found out he was, like, a genius mechanic, and built a super awesome suit that . . . well, you know. We—I mean, they became super heros, and everybody loved them. The End. For real this time."

"I like that ending better."

"I do, too. I have to go now. I'll see you soon."

"Goodnight, Tony."

"Goodnight, my Prince."