Prologue

Apparently when we were all planning to move to America for school I was really excited to go. Why wouldn't I be? Our lives were right before us and we had more than we could possibly ask for. It's funny, how much you take those things for granted sometimes. At least I did. Now, I just wish I could remember my life…So this is my story of remembering, piece by piece.

Chapter 1

BEEP..BEEP..BEEP..My head ached and I could feel it throbbing slightly. I lightly wondered what the beeping sound was that I could hear. There was something else too, it sounded like voices, they weren't clear though. It was like listening to them underwater. My mind was really fuzzy, I tried to remember anything that happened or where I was, but I couldn't think of anything. I could feel my heart rate begin to rise, and the beeping become more rapid. Panic started to set in.

"Ahhhhh!" I bolted upright in bed screaming my head off. My vision was blurry and I couldn't make out the details of what I was looking at, but I could see I was in a hospital now and the beeping sounds were the machines. Restraints had been placed on my legs, but my upper body and hands were still free. I struggled to get out of bed, swinging my legs over the side of the bed to stand. As soon as I was completely upright I was falling. I'd never been so dizzy in my entire life, the whole room was spinning and there was nothing I could do to keep from going with it. Some nurses rushed to my aid. I could hear yelling now, but I was too excited and out of it to comprehend anything. Then came a cool tingly sensation just below the crook in my right elbow, a slight stinging, then a sudden tired feeling. Under, black.

"She's extremely fatigued, and probably very shaken up, so I wouldn't talk about anything stressful or the accident with her until much later. She needs rest, and to recuperate. She's also probably going to experience some amnesia to an extent. We won't really know how serious it is until she wakes up. If it does happen to be severe though, I recommend helping her try to remember what happened, but just laying it on will probably be too much and may cause some very serious anxiety attacks. For patients in her condition, she really just needs someone to spend some time with her and help her recover and rest. I'm sure she'll be frustrated if she can't remember everything and will be eager to get back in the swing of things, but it'd be best if she just laid low until all of her memories come back so there won't be any surprises."

"Thank you, doctor. I'll be taking exceptional care of her."

"Well, she's lucky to have such good friends to take care of her. She's just…lucky period. It is unfortunate that her parents can't afford to come see her though."

"When she's strong enough I'll see to it that she makes it home to see them, but not until she's feeling better."

I at least knew something now: I was in a hospital, I had been involved in some kind of accident and I couldn't remember a damn thing. I decided to try to take things very slow this time. I tried to think back to the absolute basics. My name…name…Fucking great! I couldn't even remember my own goddamn name! At this realization I began to feel the panic set in again and my heart rate repeated its rise.

"It's okay Amu, if you can hear my voice everything is going to be alright. I promise." A soothing voice floated into my head and I felt a warm hand grasp mine slightly. For just a second, I really did feel calm and like everything was going to be alright.

I opened my eyes and gave a little sigh of defeat upon finding that I was now fully restrained.

"Amu!" Before I could react or even think I was wrapped in as much of a hug as possible while strapped to a hospital bed. I didn't know who this boy with violet eyes was, but he knew me, and there was a part of me that felt very comforted to see him too.

Upon the boys exclamation several nurses and a doctor all rushed to my bedside. The nurses were checking everything known to man while the doctor pulled up a chair.

"Hi honey, I'm doctor Stafford. Can you tell me your name?" the doctor asked. A stranger's guess would have been as good as mine at this point, because I didn't have a freakin' clue what it was. I started to feel very anxious and uneasy. I looked to the boy as if I'd find an answer there.

"Amu?" I replied, more of a question than an answer. That's what he had called me though.

"Good. Can you remember your last name?" was the follow-up question that I would have no answer to. I thought about it in silence and my mind started to go fuzzy again.

"That's okay, don't strain yourself. This is completely normal for someone in your situation." He continued to explain about how I had been in some kind of accident, that I was experiencing amnesia, and that it would be best for me to recover my memories slowly on my own. Then his pager went off, and he had to take an emergency call. He told me he'd be back to check on me this evening and that if I needed anything I could tell the nurses and they would get it. After the nurses had completed their seemingly endless checklist of safety procedures and whatnot I was freed from my restraints.

My bed was leaned up so I was in more of a sitting position now. The boy sat in a chair right next to my bedside. There was a little table with a pitcher of what I assumed was water sitting on it. I started to sit up more and reach for, but the boy promptly poured me a cup and handed it cautiously to me. I don't think he had full confidence that I could handle it without spilling, and truthfully, neither did I. But I did. I took a small sip and handed the cup back so he could set it down. I started to clear my throat; I could tell I was going to be really groggy.

"Is my name Amu?" I asked kind afraid for the answer. I felt like I was dreaming and couldn't wake up.

"Yes. And Hinamori is your last name, since that's probably your next question. Right?" He gave me a warm smile, and I had a flicker of hope that maybe I wasn't alone in whatever was happening.

I thought about it for a second. Amu Hinamori. It was a name alright, apparently mine. I can't say it rang any particular bells with me though.

"You don't remember anything, do you?" he asked.

I just sort of shook my head and bit my lower lip. I felt a little embarrassed and I could feel myself blushing. At least I knew these things were in character of myself. I felt better to remember something, even just the tiniest detail like that.

"We know each other, don't we?" I asked him.

"Yes ma'am, we do. We've been friends for a long time." He said. He looked very thoughtful and kind, but I could tell he wished I remembered. This frustrated me, because I really wanted to know him. Hell, I wanted to know me! But I just didn't…

"How old are you?" I asked next.

"Twenty two." He replied.

"And me?"

"Seventeen."

"What's your name?" I hoped maybe this would trigger some kind of memory.

"It's Ikuto." He told me. Sadly, this brought nothing but more wonder. Tears started to fill my eyes upon realizing that remembering might not be so simple.

"I'm really sorry I can't-" I stared to apologize.

"Hey," he put both hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes, "there's nothing to be sorry about, it's okay. You're going to get your memory back and I'm going to help you. I won't leave your side, I promise." This stirred something inside me and everything just broke loose at once as tears once again began to flow. I had no idea who Ikuto was, but I knew that I wanted to and that I trusted him already.

Before a single tear rolled off my cheek he had scooped me up out of bed along with my blanket and placed me in his lap, arms securely around me. With the door shut to our room I held nothing back now. As I sobbed, Ikuto held me tightly. He rubbed my back gently to soothe me.

"I promise I won't leave you." He whispered to me. I must have cried myself to sleep there, because I was later awoken when the doctor returned.

"I see you must remember this young man." The doctor smiled. My face instantly flushed red, because I didn't, yet here I was in his lap regardless and at an absolute loss for words for an explanation why.

"Not quite." Ikuto chuckled, "but we're getting there." He saved me from having to explain.

"Well that's better than nothing, right? Anyway, I think Amu should try to have a little something to eat. Not too much, start slow. Before we can even think about sending her home we have to make sure she can hold down food though." I nurse walked in with a tray that held a cup of fruit and some apple juice. "I'm going to let you two work on that while I check on the other patients, and if you need anything more for the night I left the pager number for the doctor on call at the nurses' station along with my personal phone number."

"Thank you, doctor." Ikuto smiled gratefully and extended his hand to shake. The nurses checked countless things again before leaving as well.

When everybody had gone Ikuto asked, "Are you ready to try to eat something?"

"I'm not really hungry." I looked up at him. I wasn't, but I could tell from the look on his face I probably wasn't going to win the argument. This felt familiar! Dejavu, finally! I huge smile spread across my face.

"What?" he asked, surprised, "Did you remember something?"

"You're facial expression! It wasn't really a memory, I just..know it." I smiled, then felt kind of silly having said that and began to blush.

"Good! I'm glad!" he hugged me close to him. "One step closer." This made me feel better. "However, you do need to try to eat. It's just the medicine that's making you feel like you're not hungry." I contemplated this. "I'll tell you something if you just try." This was a total bribe, but I was interested in whatever he was going to share so I took the fruit cup off the tray and stabbed a grape with the plastic fork. Once I started eating my appetite came back and I the fruit cup was empty in no time along with the apple juice.

"See? Now was that so bad?" he teased. I just smiled.

"No, I guess not. What were you going to tell me?" I couldn't hold back my curiosity.

"Let me see, firstly, you and I are madly in love." My cheeks instantly flushed to what I think were the brightest red possible and he must have known this would happen because he started laughing a very satisfied laugh. Regardless, I was too embarrassed to inquire if it was actually the truth or not. I stood up and kind of tripped into bed. I still wasn't completely sturdy on my feet. Ikuto was all seriousness then, making sure I was alright and hadn't hit anything. "Are you okay?" he asked. As I sat on my bed the hospital gown exposed the length of my leg from the knee down. I now saw that there were bandages there, and where there wasn't, there were bruises. There also seemed to be a notable amount on my arms as well.

"How did I get these?" I questioned, forgetting my previous embarrassment.

Ikuto grew more somber now, slightly more reserved. "Amu," he paused to think about his answer for a moment, "I think that's something that would be better if you remembered on your own. Let's start with the smaller memories and work our way up." I could tell he wanted to be able to share everything with me, so I let it drop.

Out of nowhere I started to feel very nauseous. "I'm gonna throw up." I managed to get out before I leaned over the other side of the bed and threw up a couple times in the trash can. Ikuto was at my side in no time holding my hair back with a cup of water waiting so I could rinse my mouth out.

"Thanks," I said, wishing I wouldn't have thrown up in front of him. He didn't seem disgusted or anything though, just worried about how I was feeling. A nurse was then called to take that trash can away and I was told that if I felt well enough I could shower and she would redress my bandages when I was finished. She also left me a toothbrush, toothpaste, a hairbrush, some towels and some floss.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't think that little would make you feel so sick," he apologized, "If you feel well enough to, you might feel better if you showered," Ikuto looked at me sympathetically. I did want to shower, like everything else, I couldn't remember the last time I'd had one. There was a private bathroom attached to our room with a shower. I wasn't exactly up for a long walk, but since it was right there I figured I'd go for it. "It's okay." I assured him.

Ikuto put an arm around me, not trusting that I wouldn't fall. He opened the door and turned on the water for me. I quickly spun around as he began to untie the first bow on my gown and almost lost my balance, but his arm was there to steady me once again. I was getting pretty sick of not being able to walk around normally.

"I'm not going to look, I promise," He assured me before I could question him. And I could tell he was being sincere. "I'm not leaving you in here by yourself to slip and fall either though, so it's me or someone else." He warned sternly.

"I trust you," I said to him (and I really did). I also knew that a nurse would probably force a lot more help that he would, so I turned back around so he could finish untying the bows on my gown. There was a plastic shower chair in which I sat while I washed my hair and body. When I was finished Ikuto handed in a towel to me so I could cover up, then helped me out. I stood at the sink and brushed my teeth, then just peered into the mirror.

"Recognize your beautiful self?" Ikuto asked, referring to my reflection as he stepped into view behind me.

"Not really," I replied glumly and blushed a bit, partially for the compliment and partially because I looked pretty beat up from whatever had happened.

"You will, give it time." He assured me.

We then made our way back to my bed where the nurse was waiting with a fresh gown and bandages. She helped me into the new gown, then cleaned and dressed my wounds. I winced a bit throughout some of this, but Ikuto took my hand in his and I felt instantly better. The nurse then left, turning on a softer lamp and switching off the overhead lights for the night. I then realized just how tired I was beginning to feel.

"Would you like me to brush out your hair before you lay down?" Ikuto asked, already holding the brush and coming to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I-I can do it," I stammered.

"I know you can, I didn't offer because I thought you couldn't," he replied, beginning to run the brush through the first piece of waist length pink hair before I could agree or object. It felt good to be clean, and it was soothing to have my hair brushed. I started feeling uneasy as I realized Ikuto would probably be going home for the night.

"Time for bed sweet girl," he said as he got up to turn off the lamp. Without thinking I grabbed his arm before he could take a step. "What is it?" he asked, running a hand from my shoulder down my arm.

"I don't want to be in the dark alone!" I blurted out. I hadn't realized how frightened I was, but I couldn't help it. Tears started to well up, and my throat got tight. I didn't want Ikuto to leave me here in the hospital by myself tonight.

He sat down once more. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. "You're not going to be by yourself, I'll be with you the whole time. All night, all day, however long this takes, I'll be right here with you." His answer was concrete and I knew he'd be there. I felt relieved and blushed for getting excited over nothing.

When the light had been turned out, he returned to the chair by my bedside.

"You can lay with me if you like," I offered, I was glad it was dark so he couldn't see my face heating up as I said this.

"I'll be okay in the chair, it's more important to me that you're comfortable. If you need anything wake me up," came his answer. I was quiet for a moment.

"Please?" I asked more than offered this time. Ikuto got up and slid into the bed with me, slipping his arm under my head for a pillow. I scooted closer and rested my face on his chest, hoping this would be okay. I felt relieved when he didn't seem to mind. I wasn't really sure what Ikuto and I had been, or what we were going to be, but I knew that I trusted him. And right now he felt like the most important person in the world to me. I used all this to justify asking someone who was a total stranger to me to sleep with me. Mostly, I didn't care though; I just knew I wanted to be close to him.

"Ikuto?"

"Yes?"

"When you were talking about us earlier, and you know, being in love and all...Were you serious?" I was now blushing to my fullest extent, but I had to know if he'd been telling me the truth or not.

He kissed me lightly on the forehead. "I don't know, can't remember," He teased a bit, then became more serious, "We can be whatever you want us to be Amu, madly in love, or just friends. It's up to you."