I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! The lack of Calzona on screen has seriously killed my muse, and as a flight attendant, finding any stretch of time during the summer to actually open my laptop is an achievement! Also I was on vacation; but seriously, enough excuses. Here's a short but (hopefully) hilarious chapter to make up for my absence - and I promise the next will be longer!

Previously:

"Yes dad, she makes me very happy."

Pulling her father close for a hug, Callie sighed in relief as she felt the most comfortable and familiar arms wrapping around her. She felt protected. She felt home.

"I love you, you know that?"

Carlos pulled away, looking seriously at Callie.

"She's not a vegetarian, is she? 'Cause I don't know how much more I can take-"

"She's not a vegetarian." Callie chuckled, cutting his sentence short as she pulled him close for another hug.

"I feel very old." Carlos admitted, hugging his daughter close.

From outside, two coffees in hand and a cab driver waiting to load their luggage, Arizona grinned as she spotted her girlfriend and her father embracing.

"God, I'm good."

"Do you want some diazepam? Cause I can hook you up." Mark chuckled as Callie rolled her eyes.
"Shut up Mark." She huffed, her thumbs flying furiously across the screen on her phone.

Anything yet? Remember to turn your ringer off when you go in. Love you! A x

Callie smiled despite her nerves.

Nada. I'm outside his office with Mark, who isn't helping. He's just offering me drugs. Love you too. C x

"So was that a no…? It would calm you down, you look like you're going to have an aneurism."

Callie had been summoned to Chief Webber's office to discuss her future at the hospital. The final round of firings had begun, and Callie was sure she was next.

"How the hell am I supposed to calm down when I'll be unemployed in ten minutes time!?" She hissed quietly, switching her ringer off and shoving her phone into the pocket of her lab coat.

"Because you won't be unemployed in ten minutes. He made you an attending, and no one from Mercy West is as good as you are. Your job is safe. Lunch is on you if you're wrong." Mark smirked.

Before Callie could respond, the Chief's door opened.

"Torres, good morning. Come on in, take a seat."

"Thank you, Chief." She replied nervously, taking a seat in the chair across from his desk.

"How have you been coping since the merger?"

The question surprised Callie.
"Well sir, there have been a lot of new faces and names to struggle with, and being an attending is…different…but I'm really enjoying it." She stressed.

"Good. I'm glad. As you know, Ortho is a smaller and more specialized field than a lot of other areas of surgery, and as such, orthopedic surgeons really need to make their mark."

Callie nodded.
"Yes sir."

"And you have been doing just that. Even before I promoted you. You have gifted hands, and a gifted mind. You're an asset to this hospital, Torres."

"I am?" Callie asked, before clearing her throat. "I mean, thank you, sir."

"You certainly are, Torres. I'd like to offer you a permanent position as an attending, and give you a generous bonus to commend your hard work and dedication to this hospital."

Callie pinched her leg discreetly, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"Really sir? It would be an honour. I am so happy here; and I'm so grateful to be given the opportunity to stay."

"We'll you've earned it, Dr. Torres. I'll speak to Simon in legal and get your new contract drawn up. Just send HR your signed copy and it'll be official. Now, do you have any plans for the evening?" Webber smiled.

"I'm sure I will now." Callie beamed. "Thank you so much, sir."

"So you want to celebrate tonight?" Mark asked as he happily ate the lunch that Callie had bought for him.
"God, yes. Arizona said we should go to Joe's, and she'll bring Lexie." Callie winked, nudging her elbow with Mark's, who smiled in return.

"She's cool, right?" He asked.
"Oh wow, you never ask me my opinion on women. You must really like this one."

Mark blushed a little.
"Well, we'll see how tonight goes."

"I am so proud of you!" Arizona squealed as she threw her arms around Callie, their lips meeting in an overdue kiss.

"Thanks. I'm just so relieved that it's over! I mean I'll still be busy, but now I might actually get to spend some time with my super-hot girlfriend." Callie smirked, taking Arizona's hand as they slid into a booth with Lexie.
"I certainly won't be complaining about that." Arizona grinned.

"Hey ladies, first round is on me." Mark announced, setting down a tray he had swiped from the bar.

"Thank you, Mark." Callie smiled, taking her rum and coke.

"Yes, thank you for keeping her sane today." Arizona joked, squeezing Callie's leg affectionately under the table.

"Well, I'm not sure to what extent that actually worked. She still looked ready to hurl when she went into his office."

"I would be too!" Lexie assured, smiling as Mark handed her a cocktail

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Arizona asked, taking a sip of her vodka and lemonade. "I've got to fly to Toronto tomorrow night."

Callie shook her head.
"Nope, the chief told me not to come in tomorrow. I think he's sick of seeing my name on that OR board to be honest."

Arizona smiled.
"Well I'm glad."

"Me too." Callie promised, pecking Arizona's lips gently. As she pulled away, she noticed an influx of hospital staff assuming seats at the bar, their faces glum.

"Uh oh." She pouted.

Mark followed her gaze to the bar.
"Yeah, they fired like half of that class."

"Oh no." Lexie sighed. "That's so sad."

Arizona nodded in sympathy.

"Maybe this isn't the best place for us to celebrate. Back to mine?" she offered.

"You don't mind?" Lexie asked.

Arizona shook her head.
"Not at all. Teddy is finally out on a date with Henry."

Lexie beamed.
"Aw, the cute airport dude?"

"That's the one."

The sound of Foreigner's "Hot Blooded" woke Callie and Arizona with a start.
"What the hell?" Arizona cracked her eyes open, annoyed by the offending sound.
Callie groaned as she attempted to find her phone.
"Ugh it's Mark. He set that as his special ring-tone on my phone."

Arizona yawned as Callie finally found the phone.
"Well tell him not to call at 4am. Someone had better be dying."

"What do you want, Mark?" Callie huffed as she answered the phone.
"Callie it's Lexie. I'm so sorry it's late but uh, something's wrong."

Callie frowned.
"Wrong? What's wrong, Lexie? Where's Mark?"

"He's uh, he's here. We came back to his place after leaving Arizona's place and uh…Callie I think I broke him." Lexie confessed.

"What do you mean you broke him…?"
Arizona's eyes widened as Callie asked Lexie for confirmation. She could only make out the occasional sound through the phone, but Callie's face left nothing to the imagination.
"Oh God, Lexie…Are you serious!?"

Callie hopped out of bed, frantically trying to pull on her pants and hold the phone at the same time.
"Can he walk to the hospital? It's only across the street from our building. Or get in a cab…I'll meet you there as soon as I can, ok? Don't worry Lexie, everything's going to be fine. Ok, I'll call you in a little bit."

Callie hung up, tossing the phone on the bed as she yanked a sweater over her head.
"Lexie broke Mark's penis."

Arizona frowned.
"Huh?"

"She broke it!"

"They can actually break?!" Arizona gasped. Callie looked at her incredulously.
"Hey, I'm a gold star lesbian with limited medical training, how was I supposed to know that was even possible?"

"Oh it's possible, and not good at all. He'll need surgery, which I'll need to assist with." Callie grumbled, calling the hospital to make them aware of their incoming patient and to make sure a team was standing by.

"You'll be putting it back together?" Arizona squirmed, getting out of bed and pulling her jeans on.

"I'll be helping." Callie watched as Arizona dressed.
"You don't have to come, it'll be boring sitting in the waiting room."

Arizona shrugged.
"He's a nice guy, and I should probably keep Lexie company."

Callie smiled, pecking Arizona's lips quickly as she pulled on her leather jacket.

"You want me to sneak some pictures?"

"Ew God, no." Arizona shuddered, pulling a sweater over her head.

Arizona was getting dizzy. Mark had been in surgery for thirty minutes, and Lexie was pacing the floor quickly enough to burn a hole in the linoleum.

"Do you want me to grab us some coffee or something?" Arizona offered.

Lexie shook her head as she turned, intent on pacing some more.

"Lex, sit down. He's going to be fine, and you're making me a little dizzy."

Lexie sighed, taking a seat next to her colleague as she put her head in her hands.
"What if I've broken him forever? I mean, what if they can't fix it?"

Arizona smiled softly, rubbing soothing circles across Lexie's back.
"You're seriously asking the wrong girl. I didn't even know you could break a penis."

Lexie chuckled in spite of her current situation.
"I didn't either, until it happened, then trust me, I knew."

"Ouch. And gross, but mostly ouch." Arizona frowned.

"Arizona he was in so much pain, he nearly passed out. He's never going to want to see me again."

"Well surely you were doing something really good, before…uh, that…" Arizona offered. "Maybe he'll surprise you."

A little while later, Callie emerged from surgery. She opened the doors to the waiting room to find her girlfriend reading a magazine, with Lexie asleep, her head resting on Arizona's lap.

"Hey." Callie whispered, removing her gloves.
Arizona smiled, nudging Lexie as Callie took a seat.
"He's going to be fine. I'd advise no sex for quite a while, but other than that he's going to make a full recovery. All of him." She smirked, happy to see Lexie looking relieved.

"He's asking for you, Lex. He's being taken to recovery, room 12."
"Oh my God, Callie, thank you." Lexie rushed down the hall as Callie smiled at her girlfriend.
"How was she?"
"A bit of a mess; she thought she'd broken him forever."

Callie chuckled.
"Oh no, he'll be back to his old self in two months, mark my words."

"Gross." Arizona chuckled, looking at her watch.
"It's almost 7am, do you want to grab some breakfast?"

Callie nodded, removing her scrub cap.
"Yes please. Then I'd like to go back to bed, until you need to leave tonight, that is."

Arizona leaned in, capturing Callie's lips in a chaste kiss.
"I think that could be arranged."

Feel free to yell at my lack of updates in a review, or just tell me what you thought of my take on this ;)