Disclaimer: "Skip Beat!" and its characters are the property of Yoshiki Nakamura.

Chapter 1: Nebula

The dark sky was filled with ominous clouds. Everywhere she looked they were all she could see, like alien vessels that had come to conquer and destroy the earth. Maybe they'd start with her? Powerful, engulfing the whole of the cosmos around her, they seemed to be growing by the minute, confining her in her stagnant fears.

She knew the stars had to be there, somewhere, but she couldn't see them. There was not the tiniest hint of light and she wondered if the sun would ever rise again… Night had invaded her emotions and seemed to have become never-ending.

The wind was blowing in her hair and clothes. She wished for it to grow stronger. She wished she could become a butterfly and get carried by that wind. If only she could spread wings, then she would fly away, ride the invisible threads of this wind that would become her ally, feel it lift her from the ground and up to the infinity, behind those scary clouds, to where she could see the galaxy…

She wanted to fly away from the only two options that she had to choose from.

Beneath her was this menacing, deep, dark hole. She didn't need to contemplate over it, knowing perfectly what it meant: Down there was death. The cold and lonely feeling of giving up everything she had struggled to become.

She would go back to nothingness. She would never hurt again. Maybe dying would be easier than being born; after all, both were pretty much the same thing, only backwards.

It wasn't that scary: She would just go back to being plain and simple. She would drop her ambition and walk on an easier path. Her make-up would fade; her hair would grow back to their natural color and she would get back in the right steps, the ones she was supposed to walk in, wearing an appropriate kimono. There, she knew how things worked, there, she'd be safe.

At least, it was much less scary than that other option, obviously…

"Come now, missy."

For before her…

"Give up. You'll be totally better off showing everything that you're hiding in your breast, you know."

…a fate even worse than death awaited her.

No one really knew if the studio ever closed at all. There was pretty much always some shooting taking place, or office workers at their desks, even late in the night. The shooting of Box R wasn't the last one to finish that evening, but the building was almost empty when the lead actors were dismissed. Most of the lights were out by the time a young actress waved goodbye to the rest of the cast and stayed alone, standing next to one of the imposing potted plants that decorated the entrance hall.

The other actors had not noticed anything, but she recognized the chilling sensation: Swirls of tortured vapors emanated from the plant.

"You know, I saw you hide back here just now," she began in a carefree tone. "You've been spacing out a whole lot, lately." She paused. "Why don't you just tell me what your problem is?"

So, is this related to love or what? she thought calmly. How do I get her to spit it out?

The bush remained silent.

"What are you doing back here, Kyouko-san?" Annoyance seeped through her voice. "Didn't you have somewhere to be tonight?" When she still got no answer, she folded her arms and began to tap her foot impatiently. " Fine. Have it your way. Here's what I'm gonna do: I'll stay right here until you at least come out." She paused. Hum... it's not working. "And if I'm late for my mom's birthday dinner, the blame is on you!" That should do it.

There was a short silence.

"I don't wanna die!" a voice blurted out nervously from behind the thick bush.

"Die? Who's talking about dying?" the girl asked worriedly, dropping her arms to her sides. "Have you gotten yourself in a dangerous position?"

"Yeah, well… Hmm… I guess not," the plant mumbled, "it's not really like that…" It shrieked, "It's not what you think, but… It's probably even worse!" It continued in a dark voice as it moved slightly.

"Please, just come out! Aren't we LoveMe comrades? I'm sure you'll feel better if you let it all out. Just talk to me!"

"I'm not telling you anything, Chiori-san, so won't you please stop asking?"

Chiori ventured a defeated look behind the plant and saw two bright red dots shining right back at her.

"Okay!" she said, taking a step back "If I don't ask anything, will you come out, and go to your next job?" she moved carefully, and lifted her hands, as if she was trying to tame a wild animal.

"Maybe…" the flaming dots inside the bush replied weakly. "But you have to promise, even on set, you'll stop asking." The lights started to decline, slowly dissipating the gloomy aura around them. "I can't take any more of your questions." A vaguely human shape started to come out from behind the bush. "I know perfectly well I'm not exactly myself lately, but I… I'll deal with it, somehow…"

"It's okay." This has to be about love. It was the only question she'd asked more than once.

"I just can't tell anyone." The shape kept muttering, "I haven't even talked to Moko-san about it…"

"I understand" Chiori replied, watching as her friend's face appeared before her. She was beyond pale, and her eyes were blank. "There, there, come on…"

The number one LoveMe member was known for her sudden changes of mood, and when you spent time with her you stopped being surprised by the strange way things around her seemed to be affected by her temper, even so she'd never seen her act so peculiar, and more importantly, never for so long!

"Don't you worry about it…" she added over her friend's ongoing muttering.

Kyouko had been strained for almost a week now; she was always isolating herself in narrow spaces in between takes, mumbling incoherent words. What was worse she even let her Natsu slip several times to an unknown, different character. This girl was not Nastu, but she was certainly not Kyouko either. At first Chiori had thought it would pass, but the bags under her friend's eyes seemed to grow heavier every day. Of course she'd asked what was wrong!

"Let's go, Kyouko-san, it's gonna be okay."

The ghost that looked like Kyouko came to her and let her pat her shoulder softly. Chiori felt powerless. She wanted to help, but she didn't know where to begin, she didn't understand any of the things she was vaguely hearing from her friend's daily lamentations. She knew of only one person that she'd seen her overreact this badly about, and he was definitely not her brother.

Her brother. It didn't make any sense, but "brother" had been the most recurrent word in her mumblings for the past week. Apparently she was nervous but determined about helping her brother… It just didn't make sense, wasn't she an only child?

"You don't have to say anything; I promise I won't ask anymore."

They began walking toward the exit. The hollow blur she was holding progressively turned back into Kyouko with every step they made.

"I'm sorry Kyouko-san. I didn't realize my questioning was pressuring you."

She still heard incoherent murmur, of which she could hardly make out confusing words. On top of the whole brother and support delirium, came something about a cliff and a box; other things about vengeance, and a vow to a baka... Nope. Definitely no indications to be found in that nonsense.

"I'm just worried, you know."This has to be about love, she thought again.

Chiori knew of Kyouko's issue with the feeling: Whenever it was brought up, she'd always burst out in the weirdest way. Essentially, she was hermetic to anything love related; her resentment was big enough to have been the origin for the creation of the LoveMe section. What other reason could she have for being so upset? She was pretty sure she knew who the source of this dilemma could be, too… But, Kyouko never mentioned him once.

This didn't make any sense, if her problem was her reluctance to reconcile with the feeling of romantic love, how did it relate to any hidden family member she might have?

She waited till they passed the glass doors before she spoke again.

"Kyouko-san, you have to stop worrying people like that."

They stopped. Kyouko nodded shyly.

"It's okay since you can still act Natsu, the others don't pay attention to how you are outside of the stage." She could do this; she could help her even if she didn't quite understand. "But with me it's not the same, you see." She spoke firmly, trying to convey strength in her words "I know you, Kyouko-san." She just had to remind her that she was there to support her. "I care about you." No matter what, she needed to encourage her. But… "You know," was she even listening? "Since you're my senpai."

At that word Kyouko flickered. She raised her head, slowly.

"Senpai?" She froze.

Hah, Chiori thought, now that's something I can work with.

"Yes, Kyouko-san?"

Her face went from wan gray to crimson red.

"How did you know?" she continued in a high pitched voice.

"How did I….? What?"

So, this really had to do with her senpai. She was right, then, it was about love. But, this is nothing new, is it? She'd already suspected something like that.

"Just don't tell him, okay? No, anybody! You must promise not to tell anybody, I beg you!" She was gripping her shirt, and staring at an undefined spot behind her.

"Huh… O-Okay…" she said, unsure of what she was promising.

"It would be terrible if anybody knew…"

"Alright, I promise. I won't tell anybody."

With that, Kyouko's face brightened, she stilled for a second and looked up, instantly back to normal.

"I'm glad you understand!" She looked somewhat relieved. "You were right," she said lightly, "talking to you really did make this easier!"

What in the world is she talking about? She seemed much better all of a sudden. Does she think she told me something just now? Well, if it helped...

"Sure, anytime." Let's just go with it.

"Thank you so much Chiori san!" Kyouko said happily.

"No problem" Chiori answered, still bemused by the surrealistic turn of the conversation. "Just come to me next time you feel the need to talk to yourself."

"I will!"

"I promise your secret" whatever it is "is safe with me…"

"It'd better be." Kyouko answered somberly, reverting to the ghost of herself for a second. "But I trust you!" And just like that, she started smiling again. "Who would have thought," she went on pensively. "Confessing my feelings really lifted a weight from my shoulders!" She bowed and started to leave, still absentmindedly talking to herself about adjustments she would have to make, before she'd face her brother.

Chiori was left speechless on the sidewalk, as she watched her friend leave, and tried to make sense of this whole scene.

Confessing her feelings? Was I right? The more she heard, the less she understood.

Face her brother? Was I wrong? She needed to know the whole picture, if she wanted to be of any use.

Guess I'll need to talk to Tsuruga Ren about this… Obviously, he was involved in this thing. She had just promised not to tell him, but… not to tell him about what anyway? Since I don't even know, I can't say, can I? He was the only one who had any chance of knowing more than Kotonami Kanae… Just make sure not to mention anything about her brother, and it should be fine.

"Oh, and, Chiori-san!" Kyouko turned around from the other side of the street, "Enjoy the dinner with your mom!" She smiled and walked away.

Huh? My… Ah, she chuckled, that's right.

Her mother's birthday was months away, actually.

Author's note : This is a story I wrote directly in English (except for a part in the last chapter) this time (I thought translating to French would be easier than the other way around, but it wasn't exactly), partly to compensate for something that was missing in my other story, Jealous.

A quote from a Simpsons' episode (24x12) and the cliff metaphor from chap. 197 were my inspiration. Since chapter 198 added to the metaphor and White Day is supposed to happen soon in the manga (which I'd totally forgotten about when I wrote it), just think of it as an alternative for impatient readers ;)