{I'M BACK, BITCHES!}

Chapter Twenty-Two

History turned out to be a breeze. Nothing very eventful happened, which was a trend I hoped would continue throughout the school year. Professor Porter really wasn't a bad guy at all, and I was grateful that when he called my name in roll, his eyes briefly glanced over at me with sympathy before he continued on with the other students. I didn't have to deal with any snarky or pejorative comments from one teacher at least.

Sure, plenty of the students glanced back at me and did their typical whispering, but once Professor Porter began lecturing, they all seemed to forget about me. I felt like with each passing period, I was going to get more settled back into the natural swing of things.

The only real hurdle would probably be Ethics with Frollo, but if I got through that unscathed, I was most likely in the clear for the rest of the day.

When Jim and I exited the classroom with the other students to head off to break, I wasn't altogether surprised to see Tiana hurry over to me.

"Hey!" she called. "Shane! Hold up a second!"

However, I didn't slow my pace going down the stairs, so she was forced to follow us down and out the doors into the bright sunlight covering the grounds of the campus.

"Oh, Tiana," Jim said with a sleazy grin, "I didn't see you there. You confused me because you accidentally said 'Shane' instead of 'Jim', so I-"

"I don't have time for your nonsense today, Hawkins," she cut him off before turning to me. "You! Are you alive?!"

"Well yeah," I answered, "I'm not a ghost if that's what you're asking."

"Okay, I don't need the sarcasm. We were freaking out yesterday…we thought Frollo had liquidated your face."

I grinned and waggled my eyebrows at her. "Don't worry, I'm still pretty as ever."

"You're starting to sound like this dope," Tiana said, jerking her head at Jim. "Tell me you didn't undergo some kind of lasting brain damage."

"I'm gonna meet up with Belle and Wendy right now," I said. "I'll tell you guys everything that happened. But I think everything's gonna be cool so don't worry."

"I'm not 'worried'…"

"Mm, I dunno – you just said you were freaking out yesterday," Jim pointed out helpfully.

She gave him a dirty look and then said, "I can't deal with the two of you right now. I'm gonna go find my friends. You two should go to the science lab. They might have some extra brains lying around that you might be able to use."

She had hardly gotten out of earshot when Jim said to me, "Yep, I'm convinced. She's definitely into me."

"I think you're delusional."

"I think you mean 'suave and irresistible'."

We started to walk when we came across Aladdin heading in the opposite direction. He looked like he didn't even see us as he started to pass by, but Jim sprang forward and caught him in a headlock.

"What's up, punk?" he asked, trying to give Aladdin a noogie.

Aladdin shoved him off, annoyed. "Cut it out, man. I'm not in the mood."

"Why are you wiggin' out, dude?" Jim asked. "You guys aren't in trouble anymore, I thought."

"I've got other stuff on my plate right now," Aladdin said. "I know it's hard to believe that I have other things going on besides the Frollo crap, but hey, it's true."

"Well what's up then? We're not mind readers."

Aladdin cast me a dark glance before saying, "Don't worry about it. I've got it under control, all right?"

It was at that time that we were approached by someone I didn't expect to see. Judging from their reaction, Jim and Aladdin were surprised too, but Aladdin most of all. His eyes were like saucers looking into the eyes of the girl before us and, for once, he was rendered speechless.

"I wanted to get a chance to talk to you guys before Ethics started," Jasmine said, her jaw taut and her arms crossed tightly across her chest as though it was taking some serious fortitude just to bring herself to have this conversation with us at all. "I have to say, I'm a little surprised to see you here today."

"You – you are?" Aladdin stammered.

"Well yeah," she said. "After that outrageous display by Mr. Frollo yesterday, I wouldn't blame you for not showing up."

"You – you wouldn't?" Aladdin asked, blinking.

Jim and I both exchanged a glance. In my short time in this world, I hadn't ever seen Aladdin act so dopey and I imagined that it was a rare sighting for Jim too. Of course, I knew better than he did what was afflicting poor old Al. The boy was seriously smitten with Princess Jasmine, despite their vastly differing social circles.

The real question, though, was whether Jasmine had any interest in him as well. (It didn't look too promising at the moment.)

She arched an eyebrow at him before looking at me. "Look, I don't know you, and I don't really know what the whole story is with you and Aurora and the pepper spray, but it doesn't even matter anymore. What Frollo did was completely unacceptable. There's no way he would have gotten away with that if he tried it on someone-someone like–"

"Someone like you?" I finished for her.

Jasmine shifted her weight uncomfortably. "Yeah. But that's why I wanted to talk to you guys." Her eyes traveled back over to Aladdin. "I don't know what kind of resources you have at your disposal, but have you thought about speaking to a lawyer? My family knows of several we could recommend if-"

Aladdin was finally shaken from his stupor. "What lawyer would want to try and defend us against Claude Frollo? We're nobodies from the Neverland District."

"Our lawyers are very competent," Jasmine responded. "I spoke to my father, and-"

"Wait, hold on a second," Jim interjected. "Are you telling my friends that you – Jasmine Ghali, rich cheerleader and leading candidate for Disney High Prom Queen – actually care about them being mistreated and abused?"

"In this case, yes."

Jim scoffed. "Since when do rich girls like you care about outcasts like us?"

"Because what happened in Ethics class was wrong, no matter who was involved."

"So?" Jim demanded, actually looking a little angry. "It's not the first time any of us have been unfairly singled out by the faculty. Why is this the thing that suddenly gets your attention?"

Aladdin put a hand on his shoulder, quieting him, and Jasmine turned to face him, sensing that, out of the three of us, he was the most receptive to her peace offering.

"I'm not trying to insult you," Jasmine said. "Really, I'm not. I'm just offering my support and letting you know that if you need anybody to vouch for you guys against Frollo, I'll do it." She hesitated a moment as we all looked at each other before she added, "I know that we're not exactly friends and I'm not pretending like I want any of us to merge social circles, but I don't think we can just let teachers get away with such horrible behavior without having to answer for their actions. I'm sure you probably know that my father is a very influential man, and he feels the same way that I do. The notion of a teacher pepper spraying a student in a classroom is downright insane."

"Well I agree with you there," I said.

"We appreciate the support," Aladdin said to Jasmine.

"We do?" Jim questioned.

Aladdin elbowed him in the ribs and said, "Yeah, we do. It's good to not be the only ones who know how psychotic our teachers are."

Jasmine nodded. "Well. I guess I'll see you guys in class."

"See ya," Aladdin said softly.

After she had walked away, the dreamy look in Aladdin's eyes was obvious for me to see. It was definitely preferable to his stressed out demeanor of the past couple days, but of course, we all knew that Aladdin had a girlfriend who wouldn't take kindly to such goo-goo eyed displays were she to find out about them.

"She's got some nerve, huh?" Jim asked. "Throwing around that she has access to all these fancy lawyers and whatnot. Extending some charity to the poor. Hoity-toity rich bitch."

"Shut up, Jim," said Aladdin. "You know that's not what she was doing."

Jim frowned at him. "Dude, what's up with you drooling over Jasmine friggin Ghali? I thought we hated her and her stuck-up crowd."

"Maybe she's different than they are."

"Since when?"

"Since she decided to try and be decent to us."

"Okay, she might be hot on the outside but we know she's missing a soul. One half-assed attempt at empathy doesn't convince me otherwise."

"Look, I just appreciate somebody not in our crew throwing a little kindness our way." Aladdin sighed. "Besides, try and tell me you wouldn't hit it. Just try and tell me with a straight face."

"Okay, I'm not saying I wouldn't if given the chance," Jim said slowly, "but I also don't have a girlfriend. You're always worried about Meg running around behind your back…maybe you should be more worried about Meg seeing you make kissy faces at Jasmine."

"I didn't make a kissy face," Aladdin said resentfully, "I didn't drool, I didn't do anything but not be an asshole to her. For once, you were the jerk. Not me."

"I just wasn't too distracted by her rack to not remember her track record."

"Maybe everyone deserves a second chance. I know I do."

"Whatever, man," said Jim, holding his hands up in defeat. "I'm just saying, if you think she can be trusted, that's on you. Don't come crying to me when she sells you out the first chance she gets or if Meg bites your head off for talking to her at all."

Aladdin glowered. "It's not like I'm planning to become best friends with her or anything."

"Whatever you say, dude."

I noticed a break in the conversation and decided to take the opportunity to go find Belle and her friends.

"Hey, I'll catch up to you guys later," I said. "I have to go reassure some people that I haven't joined the ranks of the walking dead before break ends."

"I have some stuff to take care of too," Aladdin said.

Jim looked annoyed. "Yeah, whatever. You guys go have fun in Ethics with your new pal Jasmine. Maybe if you're lucky Gaston will let you help him slam some nerds into lockers."

The three of us went our separate ways and I found Belle hanging out with Wendy, Milo, and Tiana outside of the library. Unsurprisingly, Ariel and Alice were lingering with them as well.

"Where the heck have you been?" Ariel demanded when I walked up. "Break's almost over!"

"I'll try to be quick then," I said.

I briefly summarized as best I could the events of my day following our daring escape from Frollo's class (leaving out the almost seduction of Esmeralda, of course) and the meeting this morning with Maleficent.

"So all you got out of it is a Saturday detention?" Wendy marveled when I had finished.

"That doesn't sound much like Ms. Maleficent," Tiana said skeptically.

"All I can really do is hope for the best," I said. "Frollo's class will be the real signifier. If I can somehow survive it today, I might have a shot at surviving the year…"

"If he tries to pull any crap like that again," Tiana said to me, "Just leave. At this point, you don't really have anything to lose, right?"

If only that were true, I thought morosely.

The shrill sound of the bell ringing signified to us that break was over and it was time for third period. Everybody's eyes turned to me.

"Maybe you should just skip third period every day for the rest of the year," Ariel suggested. "You could always come to my class with me. I have French with Mr. Lumiere."

"There's an idea," I muttered.

"What? It could work. Maybe…"

"It's hardly practical, Ariel," said Belle. "Skipping class will only get him into more trouble. He should at least see how it goes first." She touched my shoulder softly. "At the first sign of trouble, though, you should get out."

"You could always transfer," said Milo, sounding suspiciously hopeful. "There are worse things than changing schools, and you've done it once already."

"No, you know what," I said suddenly. "I'm past the point of being anxious. If Frollo's gonna be gunning for me until I graduate, I might as well keep my head held high and let him take his best shots. No point walking around with my tail between my legs like a little bitch. Let him at me."

"This is Frollo you're talking about," Tiana reminded me. "A man who would sentence his own mother to life in prison for jaywalking."

"Yeah, I know. I don't give a shit. I'm not afraid of that old dinosaur anymore. If he strings me up and hangs me from the goalposts because I answer a question wrong, so be it."

"Ooh, Shane, you had better keep all of that bluster to yourself," said Wendy in a worried voice. "It's just going to get you into trouble if anyone hears it."

"Fuck it," I said, hopping off of the bench where we were sitting. "Skittering around like a scared little mouse is a terrible way to live, and I'm not gonna do it anymore. Let's get to class."

It took a few seconds for Belle, Wendy, and Tiana to catch up to me. I was a man on a mission, walking confidently to the entrance to the building.

"Why do I feel like you've suddenly become suicidal?" Belle asked me.

"I'm not suicidal. I'm just all out of fucks to give, ya dig?"

"Take it easy, soul brotha," Tiana said, sounding amused.

When we entered the darkness of the dungeon, I have to admit that a little bit of my confidence and bravado retreated from my body, but I still sat down in the back with a sense of determination as Belle and the other two headed to the front. I wasn't going to try to actively provoke Frollo, but I also wasn't going to let him see me cowering.

I had passed his test, hadn't I?

That had to count for something.

Everybody sat in their usual spots – Belle, Wendy, and Tiana at the front, Gaston and LeFou behind them, Jasmine somewhere in the middle, my fellow Outcasts in the back with me. When Jasmine passed us by, she didn't say anything but she took care to make direct eye contact with us. It was subtle, but I knew it was her way of showing that she meant it when she said she supported us versus Frollo.

For his part, Gaston didn't say anything but he provided me with a douchey smirk as he went to his seat. I didn't care. I was grateful that he wasn't trying to instigate any problems.

"So, fess up," Meg said while we waited for Frollo to show. "Who's nervous as hell right now?"

"Me," Quasi practically squeaked.

"I'm not," Esmeralda said. "He knows I'm not scared of him."

"I also am trying to channel my inner Esmeralda," I said. "But I gotta say, I felt a lot braver before I sat down."

"Tell me about it," agreed Meg.

"If we all just keep our mouths shut for once," Aladdin said, "I'm sure we'll be fine."

"You make more stupid-under-your-breath comments than any of us," Meg said.

"Well watch me shut up today and follow my example."

When Frollo entered the room, he didn't pay me as much as a second glance, or any of my friends either, really. He simply strode to the front and looked us all over with his usual sense of contempt before saying, "We have a lot to go over today so distractions will not be tolerated, is that understood?"

Everybody looked at each other and muttered their assent.

"Good. Get out a pen and paper, and do not speak unless called upon."

Shockingly, the rest of the class proved to be pretty unremarkable. It was exceedingly dull, of course, but that wasn't a surprise to anyone. I caught maybe one or two menacing glances from Frollo during the course of the period, but again, that was pretty much to be expected. The good news was that he never once singled me or any of my friends out, and by the time the bell rang to signify the end of class, I could scarcely believe my good fortune.

Somehow, I had survived! Without any lasting physical injuries or mental trauma!

I probably set a new speed record for getting all my things together and zooming out of a classroom, though the rest of the Outcasts provided me some stiff competition. Altogether, we were out of that dungeon well before the rest of the class had even begun to zip up their backpacks. Frollo didn't even have a chance to give us a foreboding glare, at least not one we returned enough eye contact to receive.

Our shared euphoria was evident in the giddy, disbelieving grins Meg, Esmeralda, Quasi, Aladdin, and I gave each other as we congregated just outside of the doorway.

"Did that really just happen?" I asked, pinching myself. "Did we really get out of there alive?"

Aladdin threw an arm around Quasimodo's shoulder. "I think we did!"

Quasi was beaming. "I'm so happy to not be dead!"

"Yeah, let's just get upstairs before Frollo comes looking for us with chains and a whip," Meg said, casting a dubious glance back at the doorway.

"Kinky," Esmeralda whispered into my ear, causing my heart to skip a beat as I followed her hot and bothered up the stairs.

Once we were on the main floor of the building, we all let out a huge collective sigh of relief. Generous helpings of high fives were served all around, as well as a healthy portion of hugs for good measure. Esmeralda even gave me a quick little peck on the cheek, but she balanced it out by giving Quasi one too, which I think we both appreciated. I didn't want to cause the poor hunchback any more grief than was necessary, seeing as there was probably going to be plenty of hand-wringing in his future once I succeed in nailing his unrequited crush.

After how close I had come to sealing the deal the night before, I was already viewing the conquest of Esmeralda as a near inevitability, as long as I kept my swag up. (Pretty sure that's how real high schoolers talk these days, at least, according to Twitter.) Plus, all indications seemed to support the notion that I was still meeting her fancy, so I felt the chances of me becoming her honey boo thang for at least a night were still pretty high. Yes sir, I'd be spreading those cheeks in no time. Hot damn. (Ugh, I'll stop talking like that now…I'm so sorry.)

The herd of our other Ethics classmates ambled up the stairs and something kind of funny happened. Jasmine paused in front of our little group and looked us over, her eyes stopping on Aladdin, who instantly became rigid where he stood.

"I guess all my worries proved to be for nothing," she said. "Congratulations on getting through class unscathed, Ababwa."

His eyes lit up and he gave her a big, breathy smile. "Yeah, you too."

Jasmine seemed to find his response amusing, but all she said was, "Maybe you guys will survive the school year after all."

"Here's hoping," I said.

"Yeah, seriously," she replied. Her almond eyes traveled back over to Aladdin. "Well…see ya."

He couldn't help but smile back at her like a huge dope as she departed our company with a confident little smirk of her own.

"Yeah, keep up the good work," Aladdin called after her lamely, before frowning to himself. What the heck did he mean by that?

"'Keep up the good work'?" Esmeralda echoed.

"Dude," I said, shaking my head.

Aladdin had no chance to defend his weird choice of words because a very pissed Meg smacked him in the chest with her binder.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded.

"What?" he asked, looking completely perplexed.

Meg merely snarled in disgust.

"Babe," Aladdin asked, half-heartedly reaching for her hand. "What's the mat-?"

"No, screw off, loser!" she snapped, shoving past him and then kicking the doors open so that she could stomp away outside, fueled by feminine rage.

Aladdin's shoulders slumped and he groaned. Being in Meg's doghouse was well-tread ground for him by now. He had a VIP room and everything.

"Better go after her, Slick," Esmeralda said, looking none too sympathetic to his predicament.

"Don't you start talking like her now," he said. "One Meg is enough, trust me."

We let him dutifully pursue his seething girlfriend alone as Belle, Tiana, and Wendy joined us in exiting the building ourselves.

Belle had a warm smile on her face. "Wow, so you've already made it further today than you did yesterday," she said. "What are your plans now?"

"I'm going to Disneyland!" I proclaimed automatically, just like every professional American athlete did after winning a championship on TV. It was a tradition well engrained to a typical American like me, but of course, my companions were anything but typical Americans.

They all stared at me.

"…what." said Tiana.

"Uh, never mind," I said quickly. "Let's just go to Algebra."

Belle just looked at me as though she was still trying to figure out just what solar system I had crash landed on Earth from. I had no time to entertain her queries, however, and headed off to math with Esmeralda, Quasimodo, and Tiana at my sides. I knew Tiana didn't have the utmost trust for Esmeralda but she allowed herself to silently accompany us to the math building anyway.

Well, mostly silently.

"Have I ever told you you're the weirdest guy at this school?" Tiana made sure to ask me.

"Probably," I sighed.

"Just checking."

"You should get to know my crowd better before you go giving him such a lofty title," Esmeralda said to her. "He has a lot of fierce competition for it."

"Yeah, I bet," Tiana said, looking like there was a lot more she wanted to add, but she buttoned her lips.

I had been evacuated to the Court of Miracles before I could attend Algebra the day before, and I sat in my usual desired seating at the back with Esmeralda and Quasimodo. We were joined by Cindy, who I hadn't noticed the first day on account of Esmeralda's rather distracting vivaciousness.

"How was Ethics?" she asked me, her tone adorably tinged with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Incredibly, yes," I responded. "I feel like I have a new lease on life."

"Aw, thank Disney. I'm so happy for you guys. Mr. Frollo can be kind of a jerk sometimes."

"You don't say!" Esmeralda said, feigning shock.

Cindy rolled her eyes. "Go ahead and make fun of me then. Meg's not here to do it, so someone has to."

"I'm just kidding, Cindy," Esmeralda assured her. "And that's the second time I've been compared to Meg in the past five minutes. I'm not sure how I feel about the comparison."

"It's accurate," I said.

"Oh, well in that case, thank you, Cindy."

Math provided me a nice opportunity to catch up on some sleep, as it usually does. By the time the end of class rolled around, I was feeling pretty good about things. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself after school got out, but I also was happy just to be breathing. Yesterday at this time, I had been battling a pepper spray induced coma, so I counted my blessings and considered myself pretty damn lucky.

Of course, all it took was a quick encounter with Aurora on my way to lunch to wipe out most of my fragile serenity.

I had barely stepped out of our classroom when she cornered me and then pulled me aside away from the company of my highly surprised friends.

"Aurora…" I said, "…are we already back on speaking terms? I have to say, I'm a little caught off guard but I dig your straightforwardness. Wanna go make out under the bleachers or would you prefer behind the big oak tree?"

"Shut up," she said, reciprocating none of my playfulness. "We have a problem."

I felt what might have been the lovely beginnings of a migraine throbbing lightly in my temple. "What now? I already had a meeting with Ms. Maleficent. I thought we were past everything."

"Oh believe me, I wish we never had to see each other again," Aurora said. "But I told you my father wouldn't be satisfied so easily, and what do you know, he's not."

"So what does that mean?" I asked.

"It means…he wants you to come to dinner at our house tonight."

"What?!" I squeaked. "Tonight?"

"Tonight."

I closed my eyes and groaned. "This is most unwelcome."

"I'm not happy about it either, obviously," she said, crossing her arms impatiently.

"Well, do I have a choice?" I asked. "It's so late notice…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you busy tonight?" she scoffed. "Ariel didn't really represent you as having the most hectic schedule."

"Well to be fair, I spent most of yesterday recovering from my near death experience, but I had actually planned on spending tonight not being intimidated over tuna casserole by a scary old bearded man, so…"

"I've never had tuna casserole in my life," Aurora said haughtily. "But aside from that, you don't really have a choice in the matter unless you want to have my father as an enemy. And I know you might not be that bright, obviously, but believe me when I say…you do not want my father as an enemy. Understand?"

I smiled weakly. "Guess so…"

Aurora looked me once over, thoroughly unimpressed. "Try and wear something nice."

I sighed. Somehow, I had the feeling my evening attire would be the least of my problems.

{Well, ho-lee crap. How long has it been? A year and a month, by my estimates, give or take a millennia. But I live! Mwa-ha-ha! *villainous cackle followed immediately by an embarrassing hacking cough*

Mm, well then. Where were we? Ah yes. My pitiful apologies. First off, I just want to take this space to apologize to all you loyal readers who I abandoned for so long. That was lame on my part, and I take full responsibility. I forgive any of you who have moved on from this story or who feel too slighted by my flightiness to want to return. However, if you can accept my humble sorrow, I hope I can return to entertaining you with some more chapters of my Mary-Sue's plucky ineptitude and Disney characters behaving badly. And even to you casual readers, I also apologize for my crippling levels of suckitude. Honestly, I've just been real busy in my own personal life trying to pursue my own interests and dreams. I won't bore you all with the details, but I'm still on that path! Frustrated at how long things can take, but confident that it'll all come together. I don't want this to be seen as a reluctant return, as though I've limped back to you all bloody and battered with my tail between my legs. I want to be back and I'm happy to be uploading a new chapter!

I never intended to stay away from Not Another Disney High School Story for so long, but as I'm sure most you know, time can fly when you're not having fun. Which isn't to say I haven't been having a good time out here in the real world, but hot damn, do the days slip by, and then all of a sudden, it's a year later! Life is hard, man! Whoa!

But anyway, here I am. Back again. Shane is back. Tell a friend. (Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back…etc.) *gets pelted with rotten fruit* I deserved that. Sorry.

So, yeah. I just want to throw out a big huge thank you to all my readers who have been checking this thing over the past year, wishing upon a star that it might be resurrected from the murky depths of so many abandoned fan-fictions before it. Your prayers have been heard! Honestly, though, your reviews are so awesome. Especially that one I got from you, Frosty Autumn. I never had the privilege of having you as a reader while I was actually writing and updating NADHSS, but I'm hoping that can be rectified now The one thing that made me decide to finally upload another chapter was being shown by my friends and brother all the reviews people have continued to leave…the guilt ended up being too much for me to bear (haha…but really).

Of course, life is unpredictable, so I'll refrain from making any huge declarations or promises about the future of this story. I fully intend on finishing it (and I still remember the over-arching plot and all the little subplots, though I did have to do a bit of a refresher course), no matter how long it may take. I can't say how consistently it'll be updated in the coming months, but I'll do my best to stick with it as much as I can. The good news is that I have a decent amount of material already written, so some of the work is already done! I just hope the story still has an audience, but even if it doesn't, I'll continue to update some chapters and try to earn my readership back.

As for the actual story itself? Well, we've got plenty of new material lined up ahead. Some new diary/journal entries, some new characters to meet (including more villains), and the first football game of the year, as well as the semester's first party. Which means, plenty of upcoming hanky panky! (Which I've tried to put off for a year, but it's finally time to get down and dirty, I think.) Hoo boy. Get ready, people. I ain't even ready for all this sexy stuff. (No seriously, I really ain't.) But it's time to get this story back on its feet again!

Once again, I appreciate all the reviews. Let me know who's still hanging around here! It may have taken me damn near forever, but I read everything you wrote to me. I'm just glad to be back! Long live Mary Sues!}

-Hyenastho