Chuckie glanced at his watch. It was unusual for Harley to be late, but he figured maybe Jack had detained her somehow. Still, they needed good timing on this job – the mint truck wouldn't wait for them to rob it. He returned his attention to the TV, while Bill, Joe, and Rick watched from the sofa. He could tell they were uneasy about the delay too.

They all four stood up in astonishment when the door to the living room opened and Harley stepped inside, wearing a skintight catsuit with red and black diagonal patterns, like a playing card, and diamonds dotting the sleeve and leg. She was wearing a jester's hat with the same red and black pattern, and her face was painted white, with a black mask over her eyes.

"Say hello to your new, improved Harley Quinn, boys!" chuckled a familiar voice, as Jack Napier strode into the room, dressed in a purple suit with an orange shirt and green waistcoat and bowtie, with a yellow flower in his buttonhole. He was smiling a strange, terrible grin as he surveyed them all.

"Ain't she just a picture?" he chuckled, spanking Harley playfully. Harley squeaked happily and kissed him.

"Boss…you're back," stammered Chuckie, nervously.

"Sure am, Chuckie, and better than ever!" laughed Jack. "Don't tell me you didn't miss me?"

"Oh…of course I did…" said Chuckie, still uneasy about the horrible smile. "You…feeling ok now, Jack?"

He looked puzzled. "Jack," he repeated, blankly. "Can't say that name rings a bell!" he chuckled. "You must be confusing me with someone else, Chuckie. I'm the Joker, remember?" he said, pulling out a playing card.

"Joker?" repeated Chuckie.

"Yep," he replied, smiling. "The Ace of Knaves. The Clown Prince of Crime. The Joker."

Chuckie stared from him to Harley. "Is this…um…a joke?" he asked.

The Joker laughed. "Yeah, it is, Chuckie," he giggled. "And it turns out the joke's on you!"

He suddenly threw the Joker card at Chuckie's face, where it impacted and exploded. Chuckie's body fell to the ground. The Joker continued laughing hysterically as the other henchmen reached for their guns. He pulled out his, shooting a bang flag into Joe's chest, and then sprayed acid from his buttonhole into Bill's face. It was only Rick left, who was about to pull the trigger when he was suddenly struck a blow to the head that cracked his skull. He fell to the ground to reveal Harley standing behind him holding a hammer and smiling.

The Joker laughed hysterically. "Rats. Didn't get a chance to try out my joy buzzer," he chuckled, pulling it off his glove.

"You can use it next time, puddin'," purred Harley, coming over to him and kissing him. "They'll be a lotta next times."

He chuckled, pinching her cheek affectionately. "Think we might need to form a new gang, pooh, now that all these guys have fallen down on the job!" he laughed, looking down at the bodies. "One who won't mind taking orders from a guy who's gloriously insane."

"I'll find some guys, don't you worry, puddin'," she cooed. "Don't you worry about a thing, except having fun and being happy. That's all your Harley girl wants for you."

"And to kill the Bat," he chuckled.

"That won't be a problem, sweetie. You can easily handle a joke like him," said Harley.

"Yeah," agreed the Joker. "Now that I got my own costume and secret identity, I'm already his equal!" he laughed. "Outshining him will be a piece of cake." He snapped his fingers. "Hey, that sounds like a good idea, pumpkin! Why don't we come up with some kinda cake gag? Like me making an entrance coming outta a cake, or maybe planting a bomb in a cake and sending it to City Hall? I tell ya, madness is great for giving you good ideas!" he laughed.

"Whatever you want, puddin'," breathed Harley. "You just say the word and your Harley girl will make all your jokes come true."

He smiled and patted her head. "You're a sweet kid, Harl," he murmured. "I love ya, toots."

Then he slapped her across the face, laughing. "Now why don't you get outta here, you useless waste of space? Daddy's gotta plan how he's gonna kill the Bat. Once he's dead, we'll all be happy."

"Sure thing, puddin'," she said, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. She felt her cheek tenderly. She would have to get used to the random violence – Mr. J clearly found it amusing, and she was the last person in the world to wanna ruin his fun.

She had given up trying to fight the madness. All you had to do was surrender to it, and everything got easier from there. Mr. J had discovered that, being the genius that he was. And Harley was happy to give up everything for him, her life, her dreams, her mind. Whatever would make him happy.

She heard his laugh echoing down the corridor, mad and maniacal, the most beautiful sound in the world. She beamed, enjoying and needing the way it made her heart beat faster, and her love rush through her, making her feel the way only Mr. J could make her feel. She had no choice but to join in the laughter.

Mr. J had always been right – sanity was just one big joke. It was time Harley gave it up, and started laughing.

The End