Note: Hi folks I wanted a reason to wish you all a happy International Women's Day…yeah all you lovely women out there hope you're living it up today….thanks Muse. So I found this little nugget in my dusty FITB file, it was to be part of that series but then the script writers went a different route which made this make no sense….wow you making no sense Ela, that's a change!...sarcasm Muse, really?...well what's good for the roaster is good for the gander….goose, it's goose Muse not roaster…..the only goose I know is the goosebumps I get when my own international woman makes my day by sucking…..MUSE! God darn it!...her thumb Ela, sucking her thumb she looks so cute when she sucks her thumb…okay Muse enough, leave me alone while I try to post this. So folks this is set in the middle of the 14th July episode after Marissa's declaration of love in the mansion to which Bianca had promised to call her before she rushed off for that crazy intervention for Erica. This is that call and what might have happened after it. Enjoy :-)

That First Call

Bianca felt raw inside almost as if her mother's words had been blades cutting deep into her stomach scaring off those wonderful butterflies Marissa had left there. Words; so many words floated around her mind. Marissa's declaration, Erica's rejection; it was like the two were fighting with each other to win dominance. The brunette closed her eyes wishing she could just stop her thoughts, detach herself from the war of emotions going on inside her but it didn't work like that. It never had.

The cell phone sat beside Bianca on the couch her hand reaching for it and dialling a number before her mind could process what it was she was doing. And when it did process, when her brain caught up she ended that call with a jerking stab of her thumb. Breath stilled in Bianca's lungs part of her praying the call had gone unnoticed the other part hoping it hadn't. Her cell chirped to life with an incoming call, the bright display telling her that it was her hopes that had won out not her prayers.

"Marissa hi."

The brunette tried to keep the emotion from her voice but Marissa's little gasp told her she had failed.

"Bianca are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Are you?"

Another gasp had Bianca wondering if maybe sounds were sometimes more easier to understand than words.

"Not so much I'm worried about my friend."

Bianca closed her eyes easily picturing how worry would cause Marissa's lovely eyes to crinkle up and her beautiful face to form a cute frown. The image brought her the first smile of the evening.

"Bianca did something happen? Is your family okay?"

Family; Bianca wasn't sure what that meant anymore. All her life being a Kane had meant being part of something special, at times she had denied it even fought against it but in her worst moments she knew she had her mother there to catch her when she fell. And she had fallen; no she had been pushed, pushed into a nightmare that Ricky Torres had created. And for the first time in her life her mother hadn't been there for her and didn't want to be. Erica had made that clear in her words to Kendall; their mother didn't want them.

"Bianca? Where are you?"

It was the worry in Marissa's voice more than the words that brought Bianca back to the conversation.

"I'm at Wildwind…."

"I'll be there in 10 minutes."

"Marissa you don't…"

Bianca's words trailed off as the call disconnected. She stared at the cellphone in confusion for several seconds before closing her eyes and letting out a long sigh.

/

Marissa shook her head at the question she could see form on her mother's lips. She grabbed her bag and got to her feet.

"Sorry I need to go."

Krystal made to object but Marissa shook her head again her eyes pleading with her mother not to ask.

"I'll tell you everything I promise but right now I need to make sure Bianca's okay."

The older woman had no option but to nod as Marissa bid her goodbye and rushed from the room. The redhead drove across town mindful of how the needle on her speedometer spiked above the limit on too many occasions. It was hard to concentrate on anything but those almost endless silences that had come from the other end of that phone. Why had Bianca called only to hang up? What had caused the pain to drip from those few words she had spoken? The more Marissa considered the possible answers the more the needle on her worrymeter spiked too.

/

"Marissa you didn't need to come here."

Bianca stood at the door looking unsure of herself, it was a look Marissa had begun to recognise; one she was sure had been there even before their incident with Ricky Torres. It was also one she was determined to do all in her power to remove. She stepped inside, her arms reaching to hug the brunette.

Bianca accepted the hug, a sigh escaping her lips as she rested her head on Marissa's shoulder. All of the tension and pain just seemed to fade away as she inhaled the scent of Marissa's soft hair, absorbed the heat of her body and the gentleness in her caress. It felt like coming home.

Marissa felt the sob before she heard it; it shuddered through Bianca and into her like an electric surge that forced her arms to hold the brunette a little tighter. This was where Marissa belonged, here holding this amazing woman whose rare shows of vulnerability made her all the more special to the redhead.

"It's okay sweetheart I've got you, it's going to be okay."

New words, new meanings that Bianca clung to as she cried out the pain of her mother's desertion. And then it hit her with a force that sent her reeling away from Marissa whose eyes widened in shock and fear.

"Bianca what's wrong?"

The brunette's face was twisted with pain and Marissa began to think it might be physical, should she call someone? Cara maybe, she knew the doctor was at home with Krystal.

"We're going to be sisters."

Hazel eyes widened in alarm.

"What?"

Bianca wiped at her tears.

"Your father proposed to my mother tonight and she accepted. We're going to be sisters."

Marissa shook her head.

"No. No way."

The redhead stepped forward and felt her heart contract with pain when Bianca took a step back.

"No Bianca. There is no way anything David Hayward does has anything to do with me, with us. I'm in love with you and I want to be with you no matter what happens."

Marissa kept moving forward and Bianca kept moving back until she was pressed against a wall, physically trapped. Fear rushed up into brown eyes forcing Marissa to a stop; she would never do that, never force her way through Bianca's barriers. A meter apart, Marissa held out her hand.

"I love you. I'm not going to hurt you. Not ever."

Tears whelmed up in those deep brown eyes, the submissive gesture too much for Bianca's fragile psyche to withstand. The brunette crumbled then, falling forward into strong arms that caught her in a way her mother once had.

/

Marissa listened as pain and heartbreak bled from Bianca's lips as she recounted what had happened at Kendall's. They were on the couch; Bianca huddled up within the comfort of Marissa's arms, her head tucked beneath the redhead's chin. Marissa's hand slowly stroked down along silky hair and along Bianca's back to offer comfort; her other held in a vice like clasp by the brunette.

"At the hospital it flashed through my mind that she didn't care but I talked myself out of it, told myself it was the shock of her own kidnap. But it wasn't."

Marissa searched for the right words to say but there were none that could ever take the pain of Erica's rejection.

"What did Kendall say?"

"I never told her about the hospital I was just too glad to see her, she was alive and that was all that mattered."

"And tonight?"

Bianca drew in a ragged breath.

"Kendall has so much anger. It's always been there just beneath the surface and no one can light the fuse as quickly as Mom. My sister has always been very protective of me so she went on the defensive when Mom made little of what we'd both gone through. Then Mom accused her of always needing to be the centre of attention, God Marissa it was like a physical blow and it hit Kendall so hard."

Marissa couldn't believe what she was hearing; admittedly she didn't know Erica Kane all that well but still this sounded nothing like the woman Bianca had spoken of throughout their friendship. Erica Kane didn't turn her back on her daughters; she lived and breathed for them and their kids.

"And that isn't Kendall at all. My sister isn't that woman anymore; she hasn't been in a long time. Kendall's passion is never for herself, it's always for the people she loves. For Zack and their boys, for me and my girls and for our Mom. They are so alike that way, family means everything to them. Or at least it used to."

Bianca's tears had dampened the skin of Marissa's neck she could feel them run down along her face and moved away to apologise but Marissa merely smiled.

"They're better on me than in you."

There was that look again in hazel eyes, it was the same one that had held Bianca transfixed in the mansion earlier. Marissa smiled softly.

"It's going to be okay."

Bianca swallowed back more tears.

"You're in love with me?"

Marissa's smile grew and she nodded slowly.

"Yes I am."

Bianca's head swirled with the magnitude of that declaration; did Marissa really have any idea of what it meant for them? Gentle fingers wiped at the tears still trailing down Bianca's cheeks.

"But right now you need a friend and I want to be that. I want to be anything and everything you need me to be Bianca."

Bianca moved away wanting to put some distance between them because her body was beginning to respond to their closeness.

"I need to know if you realise what it means to love me."

Marissa frowned.

"What it means? Bianca to me it means everything."

The brunette shook her head.

"No what it means to our lives Marissa, to the kids' lives and to all those people that are going to react to it."

"The only reactions that matter to me are yours and the kids. Outside of that no one else matters."

Bianca sighed.

"Outside of that? Marissa I went through hell when I came out and I'm not going back not even for you, so outside matters a lot."

"I'm not asking you to go back, Bianca people are going to react the way they react there's nothing I can do about that. I told you once before I would be proud if people thought you'd chose me as your partner. I meant it."

The brunette closed her eyes trying to find the words that would make Marissa understand.

"Marissa do you have any idea at all what it means to be in love with a woman? Remember what I said about that tree? That it gets more complicated, Marissa everything will. And not just for you but AJ too, Miranda was bullied because I'm a lesbian. That's a fate that could befall AJ."

Marissa nodded.

"I know it is, don't you think I thought about that?"

"No no actually I don't. I think you went from very straight to very confused in record speed."

Hazel eyes narrowed.

"There is nothing confusing about how I feel. And since when has there been a time limit on any of this? I'll admit your attraction shocked me enough to send me in the wrong direction but you've got to cut me a break on that Bianca, my feelings for you were tied up with our friendship and I was too blind to see there was more. But I've got my sight back and I can see exactly what and who I want and that's you."

Bianca sighed again.

"I just…..God Marissa…..this is….."

Marissa didn't know what else to say to take that dismay from Bianca's voice and all she could think of was to show instead of tell. She moved closer watching brown eyes study her cautiously.

"I love you."

Marissa's eyes dropped to her friend's mouth wanting to feel its delicate softness against hers again. Their eyes met and Bianca blinked rapidly as if to assure herself that what was about to happen was really happening. Marissa smiled softly and dipped her head to claim those beautiful lips, her eyes closing with Bianca's just as they touched. It was a tender kiss filled with the gentleness of the love Marissa felt for the brunette but beneath it and in the pit of the redhead's stomach passion brewed. Marissa felt the first press of Bianca's tongue; it was like a key unlocking a vault, desire rose up in her urging her forward wanting more and then needing it.

Bianca felt the shift and opened herself to it. And then Marissa was really kissing her, without nerves, without fear or uncertainty. A hand trailed into her hair, fingers pulling her closer as the kiss deepened and hunger surged through them both. It was intoxicating and enthralling, it was passion and perfection and it left them both breathless.

Marissa eased away far enough to gather breath but not so far that her forehead wasn't touching Bianca's. Brown eyes opened slowly, the hooded look in them doing strange things to Marissa's insides.

"I love you."

Bianca blinked rapidly as if waking from a daze. She made to pull away but Marissa's hand was still in her hair, her fingers still curling at the nape of Bianca's neck to pull the brunette back.

"I love you."

The second kiss was not unlike the last, passion poured into it like bubbling liquid that threatened to drown Bianca. For months she had forced her desire for the redhead down, packed it up in a part of her that she never thought would be opened. And now it was opening; now it was bursting out and taking control. Bianca pushed Marissa back against the couch, her body aching for more contact as their kiss escalated. Her hand searched for purchase on the redhead's body, at first finding her waist and then slowly riding up until Bianca was cupping a wonderfully round breast.

Marissa couldn't get enough of the kiss, of the way Bianca's lips devoured hers with a hunger she was all too ready to match. And when Bianca took control Marissa found her body melting beneath the brunette, turning to liquid under the weight and feel of her. Bianca's touch, the gentle yet firm pressure of her hand drew a moan from deep within Marissa that sounded so very wanton.

The heavy fog of desire that had wrapped itself around Bianca's body and mind dispersed instantly at the sound of Marissa's moan. The brunette pulled away putting the entire centre cushion between them as if she were afraid to be close to Marissa. Shocked hazel eyes opened, their dilated form making Bianca swallow hard.

"Bianca?"

The brunette shook her head.

"You're not ready for this."

Marissa's face darkened.

"Stop doing that."

Bianca was shocked by the anger in her friend's tone; Marissa took several deep breaths trying to calm both her libido and her ire.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap but have you any idea how frustrating it is to have someone talk to you as if they know more about how you feel that you do yourself?"

Bianca's face softened and Marissa knew that the brunette did indeed know how it felt.

"Who?"

"My Mom when I came out."

The two friends had shared that experience already so Marissa had a good idea of just how much Erica's reaction had frustrated her teenage daughter. And now here Bianca was doing the same on her but for very different reasons.

"I thought that if I came out in front of JR that it would soothe some of your fears but it hasn't has it?"

Bianca shook her head.

"It's one person Marissa."

"Yes but he's an important person in my life, he's the father of my son. Bianca I'm not her, I'm not Maggie or Reese or any of those other women who've hurt you. I love you."

"Do you think it's that simple Marissa? Saying those words doesn't change my past, it doesn't delete the memories or the pain. This is new to you, all of it and you can get caught up in the excitement as much as they did before things started to fall apart."

Marissa reached for the brunette's hand.

"And you can live in the past and let it ruin any chance of us making this work."

Tears glistened in Bianca's eyes.

"I don't want to hurt."

"Then don't Bianca, don't let the past cloud your future. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved and I can give you both. I will give you both if you just let go and take a chance with me."

They were both crying now, both looking at each other with so much love and compassion and pain.

"I can't not love you Bianca, I can't turn away from these feelings and let on they don't exist. I want so much to be your friend but now that I know how I really feel I'm not sure I could survive just being that to you now. I can't see you without wanting to reach out and touch you and I can't hear you without wanting to kiss your beautiful lips. I want you in every way Bianca, I'm in love with you."

A tear spilled over and ran down Bianca's cheek; Marissa reached for it catching it at her chin. Her fingers trailed to Bianca's mouth, gently caressing kiss swollen lips. The need to taste them again was almost too overpowering but Marissa held back.

"I'm not going to push, this is happening a lot faster than you imagined it would or could so I'll slow down. We'll take our time Bianca because we have the rest of our lives ahead of us and I plan to love you for that long so a little waiting won't matter."

Marissa's fingers finally moved away from those lovely lips to wipe the still falling tears from Bianca's cheeks. Her smile was tender and when she finally dipped her head it was to settle a soft short kiss on the tip of Bianca's nose.

The brunette smiled; entranced by the way Marissa was looking at her.

"You're saying all the things I should be saying."

Marissa laughed softly.

"Oh? So I'm stealing your thunder am I?"

Bianca's smile was breath-taking.

"No you're stealing my heart."

Marissa's eyes glistened at that soft admission.

"Don't worry I promise I'll look after it."