Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming. I can't believe I just updated. My sincerest apologies at the bottom.

Spring Break - Freshman year

"The chicken is simply spectacular, Auntie M. Best I've ever had," Bumper grins at the older woman across from him.

Megan Swanson chuckles and shakes her head. "No need for that, Andrew. I know I burned it." She sighs forlornly as she pokes the chicken breast on her plate with her fork.

"It's fine, honey," Her husband smiles at her from the head of the table, wincing when he bites down on a piece particularly charcoal-like.

Megan raises her eyebrows and glances to the side to see her oldest son's untouched plate. "Okay, that's it. I don't know why I even tried. Let's just skip right to dessert."

"Thank you," Bumper sighs in relief. He gets up to throw away the black substance on his plate, doing the same for his uncle when the man sends him a discreet glance with a mutter of, "I can feel it glaring at me."

"Jesse," Megan whispers as she nudges her son. "Are you alright?"

The boy in question startles and turns to face her, surprise written all over his face. "What?"

"You haven't spoken all day," his mother furrows her brow at him.

He attempts a smile. "I'm fine." He hears Bumper snort at him from a few steps away, coming around to pick their plates and throw away the dead, black chickens no one wants to look at.

"If you say so," Megan shrugs and eyes him for a bit, sighing when he just avoids her gaze and helps himself to some ice cream.

"So," Bumper starts, ignoring his cousin's mood. "Did I tell you guys about us winning semi's?" He pulls out the first place trophy seemingly out of nowhere and places it in the middle of the oakwood table.

"Only once or twice," Bradley Swanson chuckles and scoops up some more of the creamy dessert before his wife takes it away with a glare.

"I seriously think it was the hip thrust that did it. It's hard for anyone to resist all this..."

Jesse tunes him out and glares at the painting hanging on the wall across from him. He doesn't need to hear Bumper go on and on about the semi-finals again. Especially because he'd shown so much compassion the first time.

...

"I don't need your help, okay? Can you back off?"

"Jesse," he feels a hand clap onto his shoulder from behind as he stands on the edge of the stage, waiting for the Do Re Mi's or whoever they were to finish their set. He still feels a bit frozen, a huge brick in his chest weighing him down, but it's fine. He`s fine. "What?" he mumbles back to Bumper, his lips barely moving.

"Don't forget the lyrics. Or the choreography. We're not going to lose just because some girl yelled at you. So get your head together and be a man - "

"I'm fine," he replies gruffly, shrugging off his cousin's meaty hand.

"Good," Bumper says. "Because this is not the time to focus on your pussy problems - "

"Why the hell are you still talking?" Jesse says. "I'm fine. I'm good. I'll do it like we rehearsed. Now shut up."

He's relieved to hear silence from behind him, but it only lasts a second. "Well, good," Bumper mutters. And after a minute, "I told you she was gonna screw you over - "

"Shut up."

...

He jerks away from his thoughts as soon as his mother gets up and starts gathering the dinner plates. Jesse stands from his chair to help but is stopped when Megan places a hand on his arm. "No, Jesse. Your father will stay and help - " she's interrupted by a loud groan from the aforementioned husband, whose quickly silenced by her stink-eye. She continues, "You boys go back to watching your movie."

"Cool. Thanks, Aunt M!" Bumper keeps a tight grip on Jesse's arm as the latter lets himself be dragged upstairs, preparing for Bumper's inevitable scolding.

"What the hell, Dickwad?" There it is.

"What?" he says tiredly, taking a seat on his bed and pressing play.

"Dude." Bumper takes the control out of his hands and narrows his eyes. "Can you at least try to act like you don'tneed anti-depressants?"

Jesse lets out a breath and lifts his gaze away from the TV to glare up at his cousin. "Can you give me a break?"

"I told you!" Bumper waves the remote control around madly. "I told you she was bad news! She's a fucking Bella. They're all shit - "

"This isn't helping, Bumper."

"Get over her!" Bumper raises both his arms like he doesn't have a prayer. "Just get the fuck over her."

The dark-haired teenager looks away ashamedly. "It's not that easy." He listens to Bumper's senseless muttering and reels back when a phone is abruptly shoved in his face.

"Look," Bumper grits out.

Jesse raises an eyebrow but takes the phone anyway and reads the text on the screen. From... Hat. "You do know that's not his name, right?"

"Like it matters," Bumper says. "Just keep reading."

He does. And his stomach sinks.

"He saw them together last night. How he got into that club, I'll never know. But there's a picture, too. And that's him, right? That asshole boss you told me about?"

"Yeah," Jesse gulps. And there's Beca. Drinking. With Luke.

"See? She doesn't care about you. And you shouldn't care about her."

"Yeah."

"So just forget her."

"Yeah."

"Jess, I'm sorry, man."

Junior Year

He cannot stop looking at her.

Beca throws her head back and laughs, her nose wrinkling at the top, her blue eyes lighting up. His hand reaches out to skim the back of his knuckles against her cheek, his thumb and forefinger coming together to cup her chin. He leans forward, his eyes half-lidded, their gaze set on her pink lips -

"Jesse."

"Shh, Bec. Let me kiss you."

"Jesse!"

He inches closer and he can almost feel her mouth against his -

"Jesse!" He shoots up in bed and smacks his attacker in the face with his forehead.

"Ow." The assailant complains, clutching his nose and watching him with a death glare. "What the hell?"

Jesse groans as he rubs his aching brow line, squinting his eyes open to look at Kolio. "What are you doing in here?" He huffs and plops back down onto his mountain of pillows, frowning at having been pulled harshly from Dreamland.

"What do you think? I'm waking you up!" Kolio says, his voice a bit nasally due to the grip he still has on his nose. "You said you had an exam today!"

Jesse's eyes become alert as soon as the thought registers. "Shit!"

"I know!"

"Crap." He gets up hurriedly, pulling on his pants and a t-shirt he left draped over his desk chair. "What time is it?"

"Ten forty-five. You have 'til eleven."

He hops out the door, trying to put on one shoe at the same time, shouting back a "thanks" to Kolio. He gets back a "you owe me" which he ignores and races out the door.

Getting to class in a time span of seven minutes without your daily caffeine fix and thinking that you look like the reincarnation of Chucky after one of his murder sprees (and not being wrong), is not something Jesse would like to relive. Especially when he has an exam worth twenty-five percent of his final grade.

He runs into the room, panting, and gives his classmates a sheepish smile when they start to eye him. Jesse sighs in relief once he's planted his butt in a chair and reaches into his backpack for a pen - and then realizes he didn't bring his backpack with him.

Just when he's about to beg a nearby student, gothic looking and strangely scary, the girl sitting diagonally across from him turns back and hands him one with a smile. "Don't worry," she says. "We've all had those days."

"Thanks," Jesse grins at her. She shrugs and turns back to face the front of the classroom where the teacher has already started to pass out the exams. He taps the pen against the desk, his eyes glancing down to scan the initials on it, his mind flashing to the girl's blue eyes, then for some reason to Dracula's (aka the boy sitting next to him) dark eye makeup, then back to blue eyes, then back to eyeliner...

Beca. In the dream that almost cost him his exam. He's had a lot of them recently. And they weren't... the obvious ones. You know, where they're naked and doing things he can't mention in front of his parents.

They were just... Beca laughing. Beca drinking from a juice pouch. Beca singing. Beca stacking CD's. Beca at the quad, earphones blocking out the outside world. Beca kissing him.

It was like he couldn't get enough of her during the day so his brain came up with images of her at night. Even if he was sleeping right next to her, which is something they don't really do often because their friends have a bad habit of barging in to "check" on them.

He doesn't know what it means, but he doesn't exactly want it to stop. Every time he wakes up from a great night's sleep, he realizes it's because he's dreamt of her. And there are worse things than having Beca Mitchell in your thoughts twenty-four/seven.

"How'd your exam go?" She says as she reaches up to place the Beatles in its assigned slot.

Jesse walks over to give the album the little push it needs to fit properly on the shelf and smiles at her huff. "Fine." He gives her a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm expecting a ninety-something so I'm thinking it went fine."

"Good," Beca mutters, her eyes searching for Bruno Mar's slot.

He opens his mouth to say something when they hear Ian burst through the door.

"Oh," the blonde man sighs in relief. "And here I thought I'd catch you two in the middle of fornication."

"Dude," Beca scowls in disgust. Disgust at the use of the word 'fornication', that is.

Not yet, Jesse thinks. But he will be getting around to that. What kind of interns would they be if they didn't break Luke's biggest rule?

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Beca leans her hip on the desk, not helping at all with the direction Jesse's thoughts have taken. Lord help him.

Ian unexpectedly lights up and it's such an odd sight that Beca and Jesse both step back a little. "I wanted to burrow a few CD's. I have a date tonight and we're going to set up my apartment to make it look like a night club," he says dreamily. "We'll be dancing all night long!"

Before Beca can comment on this, Jesse asks, "Cool. Who is he?" She looks back at him in surprise.

Ian gives an appalled gasp. "You - you think I'm gay?"

Jesse looks up from Sir Mix a Lot to see Ian and Beca both staring at him. His good-natured smile falters and he desperately tries to reel back. "Well - I mean, I assumed - but - I -" A snort interrupts his rambling and he's relieved to see Ian clutching his stomach to keep from laughing. Beca's holding a hand over her mouth to stop her own chuckles and Jesse looks over at her with a small smile.

"Oh! That was perfect! I'm gonna have to tweet about that!" Ian says, wiping a tear from his eye. "Of course I'm gay. I just wanted to mess with you. Guys don't usually say anything unless you straight out tell them."

Jesse looks at Beca for confirmation and she shrugs in agreement. "It's true."

"Okay," Jesse chuckles. "So..."

"His name is Joaquin. And he's perfect." Ian practically skips into the booth to get the CD's he had already gathered together.

"And here I thought you'd been getting it on with Luke to get ahead," Beca smirks.

"Bitch," Ian scoffs as he pokes his head back out and glares at her, rolling his eyes when she blows him a kiss. "Anyway," he starts as he shoves the discs into his backpack. "Why are you two all calm and working together and shit?"

Jesse shoots a panicked glance at Beca but she smoothly raises an eyebrow and says, "We're twenty-year-old's, Ian. I think we're mature enough to work without getting on each other's nerves."

Ian's green eyes look at her incredulously. "Since when?"

Beca and Jesse look at each other and say, "Since last month."

The blonde scrutinizes them suspiciously. "So, what? It's all sunshines and rainbows between you two now?" He waves his hands dramatically in the air.

"No," Beca sighs. Jesse notices the annoyance growing on her face so he decides to take over. (A cat fight between Beca and Ian won't help anyone.) "We just decided to form a sort of truce, considering it's the only we'll survive if this is gonna be our schedule for the rest of the year."

"Hm. Good thinking." Ian shrugs and picks up his things to leave. He turns back at the last minute and eyes them before saying, "Remember - "

"No sex on the desk," they both reply in monotone, complete with the most bored facial expression they could muster.

As the door closes behind Ian, Beca turns to Jesse and her lips quirk up. "Good answer."

Jesse shrugs. "It was the most reasonable thing I could think of. Though we might have to pretend to be annoyed with each other next time he comes in. I don't think he bought it much."

"Yeah," Beca says before she searches the boxes on the desk. Jesse's chest is against her back not a second later and she pushes back the smile threatening to overtake her face. She feels his hand push her hair out of the way before he presses a kiss to the hollow where her neck and shoulder meet.

"Wanna do something fun?" He says into her skin.

"No way."

"You don't even know what I was gonna say," he complains, his arms encircling her small waist.

"You were going to say that we should have sex on the desk," Beca replies as she leans back into him. "And that would make us irresponsible interns." The last part comes out a little breathy but it's not because his lips are still pressed against her skin. She's just a little breathless, is all.

"I know. That's the fun part." Jesse kisses her ear.

"Not today." Beca pats his arms. "I don't feel like pulling splinters out of my ass today."

Jesse lets a whoosh of breath and pulls away, disappointed. "Fine. Let's do something else then. I did just get out of a grueling exam, after all."

Beca glances back at him and does a double take when a his trademark grin makes an appearance. "oh no."

"Let's watch a movie!"

She lets out a loud groan which he ignores as he rushes into the booth to pick up their things before grabbing her hand and pulling her along with him. She grumbles the whole way to her dorm but he's gotten good at ignoring her Beca-like allergies to anything fun.

"I don't even have any popcorn! You should go get some."

"Why?" He chuckles. "So you can lock me out?"

"...No."

"Don't worry, Bec. I always come prepared," he grins and holds up the bag full of DVD's and microwaveable popcorn. And juice pouches.

"You're such a nerd," Beca groans, falling back on her bed and deliberately taking up as much space as possible.

"You love it," he mumbles absentmindedly, not noticing how she tenses up and shifts uncomfortably. He's searching through her desk drawers, looking for her laptop charger (she is surprisingly neat and always, always has a designated location for her stuff) when he spots them. He freezes, taking a few seconds for his eyes to adjust and then picks them up, one by one.

"Bec."

She looks over at him, wondering what's gotten her nerd so quiet, and sits up when she sees the things in his hands. "Oh - I - I can explain..."

His eyes roam over the title and he turns to looks at her with wide eyes. "Rocky. Jaws. Slumdog Millionaire. E.T. Say Anything. Bec - "

"Don't." She holds her hand out to stop him and rubs her other one over her eyes. "Just - don't."

"You watched them?" He says, his eyes still not believing it. "When? How - how long have these been in here?" And how had he just found out now. "Beca. When?"

"Freshman year," she says quietly.

He swallows and looks back down at the DVD's. Something pushed far back in the drawer catches his eye.

The Breakfast Club.

He turns to face Beca again with the movie in his hand. She watches him with cautious eyes. "You watched this." It's not a question.

"I thought that had been pretty obvious," Beca mumbles, biting the insides of her cheeks and looking away to stare at her laptop.

His throat feels parched. But he pushes through to say with conviction, "That's amazing."

She has a little furrow in the middle of her brows when she looks back up at him. "What?"

"You're amazing," he tells her sincerely. "You watched these because you knew I liked them. And you hate movies. The endings are - "

"Predictable," she interrupts him quietly.

"Predictable," he nods. "But still, you watched them. And that - that's really cool, Beca. It means a lot. I - I wish I'd known." Then maybe they wouldn't have wasted so much time.

"Oh," Beca blinks. "I - I wish I'd told you," she shrugs with a sheepish smile.

He carefully puts the DVD's back in their place and walks over to her, sitting down and crowding her in the small bed. "I don't want to watch a movie anymore," he tells her.

"Me neither," she breathes, her eyes darting between his own brown ones and his lips.

"Good." He leans forward and kisses her softly, taking advantage of his weight to push her back onto her pillows. He doesn't know how to express his elation at having learned about her secret movie watching, but he'll try his damnedest to prove just how much it means to him in his every touch.

Registering this thought, his fingers come up under her shirt to lightly skin across the soft skin of her stomach and waist, smiling against her mouth when he feels her give an involuntary shiver.

"Jesse," she says, his name muffled against his lips. He pretends he doesn't lean forward immediately when she pulls away. "Jesse," Beca whispers, stopping his advances with her fingers holding his chin back. "Maybe..."

"What?" He says quietly, an eyebrow raised.

"Maybe we should go a bit faster," Beca blurts out, shutting her eyes closed like she's cursing herself for letting that out.

"What?" Jesse asks, this time completely confused.

"I just - oh, fuck it." She leans forward to press her mouth against his harshly, muffling his surprised yelp. Soon enough, it's teeth and tongue, and while Jesse enjoys this, because what guy wouldn't, he feels like this would be okay for two people who are acting out a purely physical attraction. And he doesn't think that applies to him and Beca.

I mean, physical attraction? They have it in spades. But he likes - needs - wants her for so much more than that. And he's the kind of guy that expresses his feelings.

He's ready to do this as soon as he gains back control of the kiss, pulling back enough to lay one, two, three pecks on her lips before holding his face away completely.

"What?" Beca arches a brow at him, panting, confused at the direction he's taken.

"We can go fast another time," he tells her. "But tonight, I want to take this slow."

"You want to take this slow?" Her lips quirk up at him.

"I meant a slow pace. It's too late to take this slow, we're already sleeping together," he chuckles nervously. Beca's looking at him intensely and he fights back the urge to shy away.

She licks her lips and his eyes trace the movement. "Okay," she tells him softly.

"Okay," he smiles back at her before he lowers his mouth to fasten on her neck, sucking lightly.

"Jesse." She tugs on his hair to bring his face back up to hers. Her other hand runs down his chest to his abdomen and she feels the muscles contract beneath her touch. "Don't hurt me, okay?" Her eyes bore into him and he takes a second to gaze at her intently.

"Promise."

Okay, so...

These past months have been so frustrating. I have a half written chapter for Misadventures, the next idea for Bygone Apathy, and I totally know where RAB is going...

Don't you ever feel like dropping out of college might be the wisest choice of all? Or maybe it's just me...

I will love anyone who bothers to review and I can't say how much I missed you all because it's just too damn much.

And you know what? More people should update... (IS ANYONE OUT THERE?!)