Author's Note: The idea of this story spawned from the movie entitled 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days'. Other than the movie title itself, my fan fiction has nothing to do with the movie's plot line, there is nothing romantic here. I repeat, no romance involved but just pure silliness and rowdiness.

*Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I wish for it though :P

Chapter 1

DAY 0 : Plot Formed

Renji walked inside the bar looking very tired as much as very pissed. His 6'2" frame temporarily blocked the entrance whilst he surveyed the whole room to look for his companions. Of course, it wouldn't take more than a second to spot the group. Who would missed an assembled pack of odd people such as this? A guy with a 69 tattoo on his face displayed on its all glory, a carrot-top, a brow-feathered face with an iconic Cleopatra-styled hair, an ample breast with a voluptuous woman OR a voluptuous woman with an ample breast…

"Oi, Renji! How long are you gonna stand there to watch us? The gang's all here!" This loud voice across the room definitely belongs to that man with a shiny head..

"Shut up, Ikaku! You talked too loud" yelled Renji as he strode towards the noisy bunch.

"Dammit! Look who's talking?" the petite shinigami growled from the far end of the table.

"Hey, midget! Good thing you spoke! I can barely see your head above the table" Renji shot back at Rukia then continued. "Can anyone bring a high-chair here?"

Howls of laughter ensued at Renji's request. Rukia banged her fist on the table, "Say that again, Pineapple Head and you are dead!"

"The hell! You and your almighty sibling always share the same passion – My neck! Why so it seems you always want my head to roll off my shoulder, huh? Glared Renji. His reiatsu flaring up like a molten lava shot up from the fiery depths of an erupting volcano.

The gang went silent. It is as if a bucket of icy cold water had been poured over with everyone. Rukia had known Renji for so long and calling his Nii-sama that way in front of everybody, he must be really over the edge.

"Chill out" Ichigo broke the silence. He stood up and motioned to Renji. "Sit down" he offered his own seat to the taller man. "We're here to relax. Keep cool, man!"

A glass of sake is handed to Renji by the 69-tatooed man. "Talk whenever you are ready. We are here to listen" HIsagi coaxed and assured the red-head.

"and so, that's just it?", the blond with shoulder length hair shinigami concluded. His blue eyes looks more sleepier than normal due to the amount of sake he had consumed.

"What do you mean by – 'that's-just-it' , huh, Kira? All things aside from the daily verbal and stare torture I receive from that mightier-than-thou Prince Byakuya, I can never ever forget the day he called me a monkey!" Renji gruffly said as he downed another shot of sake.

"Nii-sama is just referring to the parable, Renji. Besides, he did not CALL you a monkey. He just compared your fight on a monkey drowning in a pool while to reach the moon by its reflection. " Rukia somewhat defended Byakuya.

"Parable….parable…My ass!" Renji slammed the table with his fist. " He, as the moon trying to be reached by the me as the monkey, is totally unacceptable and degrading. How dare him. Someday, I will get back to him, I swear". The now obviously drunk vice-captain of 6th division declared.

"I am with you" Ichigo responded as he sips his strawberry shake.

The hell? Strawberry shake? For the first time everyone noticed Kurosaki Ichigo's drink. Why is he having a shake whilst everyone else is drinking sake?

Ichigo looked around the faces staring at him. Reading their thoughts, he casually said, " Well, would anyone of you here wants to get into trouble? I am 17 years of age. Underage drinking not allowed"

The bespectacled girl quietly sat beside the blond bombshell, Rangiku. She had been listening all these time to grunts and rants by Renji and the rest of the people around the table. Everyone seems to complain about Byakuya's natural talent of irking everyone but keeps a stoic mask to himself. Byakuya seems to be unfazed by anything.

"Listen" Nanao Ise adjusted her eyeglasses as everyone turned their attention to her. "everyone here seems to share the same sentiment. All we do is complaining. Does anyone plan to do something about it?"

"As a matter of fact, I do", Rukia stood up, wobbling slightly. Her cheeks tinted red from drinking. "Nii-sama always got a stick stuck up his ass. I, for one, would also like to show him my Chappy is far superior than his seaweed ambassador!"

"Hey, Rukia. You have reached your limit of—"

"Shut up, carrot head! I'm not done talking yet", Rukia cut off Ichigo in mid-sentence. "I propose we put on a mission to annoy Kuchiki Taichou for the next 10 days. Don't you want to see his facial expression?" She questioned everyone while holding her head up high, so proud of what she just said. The effect of sake is evident in her overconfidence.

"Hell, yeah!", came the chorus from the table. Excited voices filled the air as everyone happily contributes to the list that Nanao is writing entitled : How to Lose Byakuya's Patience in 10 Days.

"Why only 10 days? Can we make it longer? How about 101 days?" Rangiku asked. She began to envision putting sake on Byakuya's cup of tea, making breakfast on the next 100 days for Byakuya, joining Byakuya on his usual night walks, Byakuya this…Byakuya that….everything Byakuya. She giggled on her own thoughts. It must be hell for the Kuchiki heir but that is paradise for the buxom lady.

"Stop your insolent thoughts, Rangiku" Iba called out. "There is no time for daydreaming. We got work to do. Throw in your ideas to Nanao's list instead of keeping sassy imagination within your head only."

As the list had been completed, Renji raised his glass and cheered " One for All, All for One!", and everyone raised their glass.

"Oi, Ichigo, we are waiting for you to raise you glass of milkshake" reminded Yumichika, whose lips now boast of dark pink color of a borrowed lipstick from Rangiku.

"S-t-r-a-w-b-e-r-r-y S-h-a-k-e NOT milkshake" Ichigo stressed his words loudly as he raises his glass to toast with the other shinigamis on the table.

Hahaha! This will be the longest 10 days for Byakuya, he sheepishly smiled as he then emptied his drink.

Additional Notes: You want to see the list, don't you? Sit back and relax. Byakuya's long days is out to begin.

*** Please do not forget to review. Reader's feedback is the author's inspiration.