Title is courtesy of listening to Hey Jude while writing this. BEATLES FTW

Writing this pairing was weird. Because even though I support it, I didn't really know how to approach it. Akon was kind of a hard character to write a perspective from.

WARNING: Nudity, mild swearing, man sex, Akonbeingadouche

Enjoy!

There's a guy standing butt-naked in front of me.

Not on purpose. He's humming and changing away with his back to me so he probably doesn't know I'm here. And besides, I'm only at the training dojo to collect some performance analysis for Mayuri-sama. Apparently I did nothing all day except "blow things up". I was not "blowing things up". I was testing the compatible forces of geothermal gravity against the hyper-generative combustion of an amalgamated hydrogen and radium component. There's a difference.

I should leave. I mean, there's nothing of interest for me here.

My eyes travel down his form.

'That's a nice butt.'

The boy suddenly whirls around in surprise. Interesting tattoo to have on one's face. I look down.

'Not bad…'

'What the hell is your problem, sicko?!' the guy suddenly yells, scrambling for his hakama to cover himself.

Whoops. Was I thinking out loud again?

I look up to see that his face is beet red and his eyes are blazing with humiliation and anger.

'Hey, from what I'm seeing, you've got nothing to be embarrassed about.'

His eyes narrow. Guess that wasn't a smart thing to say right now.

'GET OUT!'

'Ugh, no, no, no!' I grumble and scrunch up the paper before hurling it at the wastepaper basket.

This is horrendous. I have a week left to construct a gigai for a World of the Living expedition and I have nothing. I don't want to make just any gigai. The body balance, the musculature, the toning…I want to get it all right. But no amount of mathematical formula is getting me there! Perhaps I need a specimen to examine.

…but where the hell am I going to find the right one?!

'Excuse me,' comes a husky voice. 'I was asked to transport some documents to an Akon-sa-'

The boy looks up and his eyes widen in disbelief.

'You!?' he blanches.

I stare. It's that boy from the dojo. Then, my jaw drops.

'What the-hey!' he titters angrily as I almost topple my desk over to grab his elbow harshly and scatter the papers in his hand. 'What're you-?!'

'Take off all your clothes!'

He stares at me. Then, his eyes narrow.

SMASH!

'You,' he growls. Of course. Who else would be standing in front of your dorm with a black eye?

Wait, he's shutting the door.

'I need your body.'

The student freezes and looks at me incredulously.

'What?'

Do I have to repeat myself?

'I need your body,' I exclaim patiently, leaning against his doorframe. 'I'm from the Gigai Department and I've been trying to find the right body reference for my next project. You, Hisagi Shuuhei, just happen to be perfect.'

Yes, yes, so I researched on his profile. Had to hack through several security walls but if it's in the name of research I don't see anything wrong with my actions.

He scowls, a dark rouge dusting his cheeks. Was the temperature rising? It doesn't feel hot.

'Go find someone else to poke and prod,' he mutters, attempting to shut the door in my face again. His roommates were now curiously trying to see who was at the door.

'It's to help better Gotei missions to the World of the Living. If you turn me down, you're turning down a chance to help the Gotei.'

A muscle ticks on the side of his face. I hold back a smirk. It's no secret the boy is a die-hard Gotei fan. Well, it isn't a secret if someone has read his confidential biography.

'Fine,' he finally mutters. 'But on one condition. Never tell anyone about…that time.'

'Do you mean the time I saw you nak-?'

SLAM!

Well, at least I didn't lose my nose.

He squirms like an eel. And when I tell him off his face glows red as he looks away, muttering something incoherent. Ugh, live specimens are a nuisance.

My eyes linger on his bare torso.

Wiry. Lean. Muscled. Sexy.

I'm sorry, what?

'I hear you're going on a mission to the World of the Living,' I drawl as I measure his biceps. 'Quite a big task for an Academy student.'

'I'm not alone,' he argues rather childishly. 'There'll be three of us and a few experienced Shinigamis to chaperone the first years.'

'Doesn't change the fact that you're still a kid.'

I think it's just me but his face seems to have turned a deeper shade of red as looks away again.

'Anyways,' I remark, hooking him up to a heart rate monitor. 'It would be a pity to have a body like yours disfigured by battle scars. It's every scientist's dream specimen.'

Hmmm, is someone's heart rate supposed to go that fast?

'What the hell are you doing brooding outside the 4th Division?'

'Just felt like it.'

'Aren't people looking for you?'

He shrugs. A pause. 'Were you?'

Did he sound hopeful?

That's when I see the three jagged scars running diagonally down the side of his face. He stiffens as I pull his face up, inspecting it under the white glow of the moon. They stand out starkly, even his eye which is a cloudy white. 'Not much tissue damage. Which is a lot better than the others, hm?'

I don't know if I should have said that. He scowls and wrenches his face from my hands. Only when I hear him sniffling do I realize it was wrong of me.

'Sorry.' Wait, did I just apologize?

He refuses to look at me. Then, he leans forward and rests his head on my chest. His shoulders are shaking. What did I have to do next? Wrap my arms around him? According to behavioral studies it's supposed to make the depressed feel better. Something about releasing the right hormones…

'Would you like to go for dinner?'

I almost trip over my own feet.

'Shit, Hisagi, what are you doing outside my office at this time?'

His face reddens and he lowers his head.

'I just wanted to thank you for comforting me that night,' he mumbles. I stare at him for a minute. For some reason, that red hue looks good on him.

'…Sure, why not?'

Hisagi started treating me to dinner once a week after that. It must take a toll considering he still has to pay for his Academy tuitions. I tell him he doesn't have to. He just turns scarlet and says he likes to. Again, that soft tinge to his skin mesmerizes me. It probably scrambles my sense too because I suggest we meet at his place. Oh, and I say I'll bring the sake. He upsets his cup of tea all down his front then.

I'll be honest, I had no idea Hisagi had such a low tolerance to alcohol. Because he's so obviously piss drunk right now. I mean, why else would he be letting me stick my tongue down his throat and grope that perfect Gluteus Maximus of his?

His cries are breathy and high and hitch every time I thrust forward. His legs are casually dangling in the air, knees by his ears, toes twitching whenever I hit his prostrate dead-on. He looks at me with lidded eyes, reaches out a hand and gently strokes the side of my face. Something stirs within the pit of my stomach.

Must be the alcohol.

'I like you.'

I pause midway in drinking my morning coffee. I decided to stay for breakfast. Then I resume drinking.

'That's nice.'

He stares at me. Then, he chucks his coffee at me . I yelp as the heat scalds my skin, spilling my own coffee in the process.

'Asshole,' he bites icily before stomping away. I glance down at my coffee on the floor in dismay. And that was good coffee…

'Congratulations on becoming lieutenant.'

He ignores me and keeps filing papers in the 9th Division cabinets. This is the first time we've talked since he walked out on me.

'Are you still mad?'

Still nothing.

'…Did I say something wrong?'

He turned around, looking incredulously at me.

'You know for a scientist, you're pretty damn stupid.'

'And for a lieutenant, you're pretty damn immature.'

He grinds his teeth furiously.

'You know,' he hisses. 'You really have some nerve. Leading me on only to slap me across the face in the end.'

'Hey, at least the sex was good.'

His jaw drops. Then, he quickly grabs his work and shoves past me.

'You're unbelievable,' he snaps furiously. I rub my chest, my mind spinning. Shit, why did it hurt just now? Maybe I need to check my heart rate…

'It hurts when I think about you, you know? I didn't mean to put you in pain but…I'm not very good at expressing myself, Shuuhei…'

'Erm, Akon-san?'

'Yes, Rin?'

'Why are you talking to Hisagi-san's gigai?'

I don't know what possesses me to visit Hisagi that night. But I'm glad I do. Because when I enter the officers look up in fright. There's a figure sprawled on the floor, mumbling something incoherent. One officer is already between the person's legs, hand on his obi. For a minute, I had the strongest urge to rip his arms out of their sockets.

'Out,' I utter coldly, hands balled into fists. 'Before I drag you to the soutaicho and have him execute you personally on Sougyoukou Hill.'

They scurry out like frightened rats. I even trip one just to sate my anger. Hooligans. I've heard about these incidents. Officers who resent someone better than them rise to a higher position and decide to humiliate them in the worst way possible. To see something like that and to a person who doesn't deserve it…it makes me sick.

'I feel funny,' Hisagi groans, head lolling to one side as I set him down gently on his futon. They must've drugged him.

'You've got some strong toxins in your body,' I mutter. Shit, he's heavy. 'It's going to take the night to flush them out. You'll need to rest for 10.27 hours before you can-'

I am silenced by a pair of soft lips over mine. I feel a moist tongue slip in, coaxing mine to join it in some kind of dance. My spine tingles. And I quickly shove the officer back. He laughs languidly.

'Oh yeah, it's only about the sex, right?' he mumbles, turning his back to me. I lick my lips in hesitation.

'No…'

But he's already asleep.

'I heard what you did for me.'

I continue staring at the monitors, keeping an eye on any reiatsu fluctuations in Rukia Kuchiki's chambers. My ears prick up when the footsteps draw close.

'Why?' I shiver. Feels like he's whispering right into my ear.

'Couldn't come up with enough reasons not to,' I mutter truthfully. Well, half truthfully. And it seems like he can tell. I don't have to look, but I know his eyes are focused on me.

'You know,' he drawls. 'For a scientist, you're not really that stupid.'

I know it's my turn to retort and I have a number of them lined up in my head. But…I don't feel like it. For once, actually since forever, Hisagi has me down pat.

'Hey, Shuu…'

'Hm-mmph!'

He starts as I press my lips against his, yanking him into my arms so that I have him trapped between the control panel and my body. He slowly starts to respond, undulating his head to the rhythm of mine, even cupping my face with both his hands. I nudge a knee between his legs, hitching him up higher until he's practically sitting on the switchboard's edge. My hands feather his torso, feeling it shiver under my touch, before snaking forward to undo his obi.

Suddenly, the alarms blare. We jump apart, Hisagi almost on top of me and me backwards onto my chair. What a predicament that would've been. He would've felt my erection for certain then.

'Emergency,' a booming voice blared. 'All officers to the Southern Wall. A group of ryokas have been detected forcing entry into the Seireitei. Stop them at all costs.'

I frown. A bunch of ryokas? How odd, even for Sereitei.

'What a cockblock,' Hisagi states dryly, patting his hakama into place. He glances at me from the corner of his eyes. 'I'm off then.'

I just hum as I go back to inspecting the monitors. How could I have missed the reiatsu leaking in?

He chuckles lightly. Then he leaves. I rub my chest. It isn't hurting. But damn, it's flipping flopping all over the place.

I need to check my heart rate again.