My first NCIS fanfiction! :D
I adore NCIS, especially the relationship between Gibbs and Dinozzo, but I just hadn't gotten around to writing any of my ideas yet. I finally have! I hope you like it!
Not slash. Hurt/Comfort fic. My version of the ending of 'Split Decision' (1,21) and I have yet to think of a better name...
Split Decision
"I gotta go." I told Kate before turning to collect my things. I grabbed my backpack and swung it over my shoulder on my way to the elevator, accidentally hitting Gibbs with it on my way past. Any other time I would have stopped to apologise to my boss and then received a head-slap for breaking rule 6 but today I was upset and angry and, surprisingly, pleasing Gibbs was quite low on my list of priorities at the moment. I walked briskly to the elevator and stood impatiently while the elevator made it's way this floor. I could hear brief conversation in the bullpen somewhere behind me since the rest of the floor was so quiet, most people had probably gone home already considering the late hour but Gibbs' team rarely went home at the normal finishing time.
Just as the elevator arrived and the doors opened, I felt someone stand next to me and I turned to see who it was although I already had a fairly good idea. Gibbs could creep up and surprise anyone but his presence was distinctive in a way that I could easily recognise after working with him for 4 years; he exuded an air of confidence and power. I only glanced at him before turning and stepping into the elevator. I didn't want to start a conversation with him right now but he was the most perceptive man I had ever met so I was sure that he knew something was bothering me. Of course, the fact that I had been his partner for about 4 years now meant he could read me better than anyone else.
He stepped into the elevator and stood next to me as the doors closed. We had barely moved when Gibbs reached across me and flicked the emergency stop switch. I had been expecting it but that hadn't stopped me from hoping that he would just let it go. Clearly, that was not going to happen. I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that I would have to have this conversation; that did not, however, mean that I was going to make it easy for him. He turned to face me and just looked at me, the expression told me that he obviously expected me to start talking but I just stared back at him, refusing to look away even when the silence and prolonged eye contact became awkward and I had to force myself to stay still; not break eye contact or start to fidget. Gibbs seemed to have figured out that I was going to be difficult and not just give in to his stare so he ended the strange kind of staring contest we had been engaged in and looked around the, for all intents and purposes, metal box they were standing in. I knew the scan of the surroundings was only an attempt to diffuse the tension that had built up in the short time since they had stepped into the elevator.
"So? What's going on Dinozzo?" The boss said. To anyone who did not know Gibbs well, it would have sounded cold and like he didn't care but I knew better. His tone sounded indifferent but to those who were close to the man, a hint of concern was detectable and it was spoken slightly more softly than usual.
"Nothing. Just a little tired boss." I lied, really wanting to get out of the elevator so that I could go back to my apartment and just let myself be upset without having to stay strong in front of everyone. I wanted to go home, crack open a beer and watch a movie to take my mind off of things and by tomorrow i'd either be over it or be able to pretend to have forgotten but now, it was still too fresh in my mind.
"Don't lie to me Dinozzo." Gibbs growled. "What did Kate do?"
"Who said Kate did anything?!" I answered, raising my voice a little without meaning to and it wavered a little. 'Damn it! I can't deal with this! Why couldn't he just leave it alone? I can't afford to start crying, especially in front of Leroy Jethro Gibbs of all people...'
"I'm not stupid Dinozzo. I know that Kate said something that has clearly upset you. What I don't know is what she said and why you refuse to tell me, even feeling the need to lie to me about it." The trace of disappointment in Gibbs' eyes was enough to make me reconsider my approach to this conversation. 'Always have to please him, don't you Dinozzo?'
"Does everyone... err... really think i'm that... superficial, Boss?" I muttered, looking away from him and hoping that he wouldn't hear me. It was a ridiculous hope considering he was standing only a foot or two away and had the hearing of someone twice his age as was proven when he once again looked at me, slightly puzzled but mostly with realisation and understanding in his eyes.
"That's what this is about? Kate commented on your taste in women, did she?" Gibbs asked, an eyebrow raised a little in skepticism.
"Pathetic, I know, and I will forget it and not let it affect my work. It was just a casual comment that didn't mean anything. Nothing to worry about." I replied and reached forward to flick the switch to turn the elevator back on but he grabbed my wrist, preventing it.
"Dinozzo, drop the act. I know that it bothered you and i'm not here to yell at you or anything, I just wanted to know what happened."
"Well now you know so can I home?" I tried to keep my tone neutral but it still sounded desperate and tired.
"You can but I'd rather you stay and talk about it." Gibbs replied and I stared in surprise at him. I had known from very shortly after I met him, and certainly when I started working with him, that my boss was not the bastard he acted like and that, though did not tend to show it much, he was actually rather kind and very protective of those who managed to get into the ex-marine's heart. "So you going to talk or not Dinozzo? Stop gaping at me like a fish out of water." Gibbs snapped, irritated by my silent staring.
"Oh, sorry Boss. There's not really much to say. It was just a silly comment." I said before feeling a hand impact with the back of my head.
"Rule number 6 Dinozzo. Don't apologise. Gibbs said though his tone was gentler than was usual and it it lacked the harshness of a genuine reprimand. He knew full well that I knew his rules better than anyone else on the team, hell maybe even better than anyone else full stop! "Just tell me what you're thinking."
"It's just... Sure I appreciate women's appearences and like good looking girls but i'm not really that shallow, am I Boss? I mean, I look for a good personality as well and someone that has interests in common with me. I have more one night stands than my conscience approves of but I never lead anyone on and I really do want a nice woman with a nice personality and if they're good looking too, that's great!" I paused briefly and tried to gauge Gibbs' reaction to my words but his expression gave nothing away but mild interest. "Plus, I don't actually have as many one night stands as I boast about. I spend so much time at work that I don't have much time for relationships and the like and when I'm not working, I'm exhausted so I just try to catch up on my sleep." I stopped talking again and it occured to me how much I had just told Gibbs' and almost all of it was information he really would have no interest in. "Sorry Boss. I didn't mean to start boring you to death with-" I didn't finish my sentence due to the head slap that followed my breaking rule 6 yet again.
"Stop apologising. I told you to tell me what you were thinking and you did - I actually expected you to go off on more of a tangent than you did - so you did what I told you to." I smiled a bit but it couldn't hide the slight build up of tears that was beginning in my eyes. I'm not one to cry often and this was something minor but what really bothered me is the fact that it's th team; the only people in my life who are really important to me and to find out that they think so little of me hurt me more than a physical wound could have... Well to an extent. Getting shot or something would probably hurt more...
I tried to wipe the tears away discreetly but Gibbs being Gibbs, I didn't stand a chance. He had of course noticed. At first I thought he was going to leave me to compose myself but instead he moved towards me and pulled me into a very awkward hug. Even if I had not know the man, it would have been obvious to me that he did not give hugs often, if ever, so I was shocked by the action and stood there rigid for a few seconds before it registered in my mind what was happening. Gibbs was hugging me. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was hugging me! I brought my arms up to return the hug before the tears began to run down my cheeks. They fell onto the shoulder of the older man's jacket but he did not seem to mind.
"Talk to me Tony. I know it's not like you to cry. I've been with you though some damn tough things and you haven't cried so tell me, why now?" It was spoken kindly and comfortingly which made me give in to the hug even more.
"It's just... They're the team, you know? They are supposed to have my six and they're the people I care about most; Abby, Kate, McGee, Ducky and.. you. To find out that they think so little of me... Well it hurt. I know that it shouldn't have made me cry but it just really, that the people I trust with my life and I do everything I possibly can for, think i'm exactly how I act. I'm not! I'm not stupid, superficial and all the rest of it..." My voiced trailed off and the tears began to slow a little though my mood had still not greatly improved. "I'm sorry about all this Boss. I know i'm being pathetic and i'm sorry for dragging you into it." I mumbled, embarrassed at spilling all that to my boss while crying and clinging to him. Speaking of clinging, I released Gibbs and stepped back a little to where I had been before the unexpected hug. I wiped at my face and tried to make myself look relatively presentable again.
"Will you ever learn Dinozzo? Stop apologising! It's not like you just cornered me and started telling me all this. Istopped the elevator and I asked what had happened. As for the rest of that, they only say it as a joke and though they may not see very far past your act yet, one day they will realise that they misjudged you and even before then they respect you and they trust you. I definitely trust you; probably more than anyone else, in fact. You're my Senior Field Agent, my best agent and a great person. One of very few people who I would let get tears all over my jacket too." He told me with a small smile.
I let out a little chuckled and answered, "Wow Boss... Thanks. I think you may have exceeded your daily word limit though." I recieved a light chuckle and a broadiening of the smile in response.
"No problem Tony. You don't have to deal with everything alone. I've got your six, in work and personal matters. Even the strongest men can't deal with everything alone." He reached over to the switch and the elevator shuddered back into life, the lights flickering as they switched on. A small smile, which rapidly grew to a full blown grin, spread across my face as I stepped out of the elevator and walked to my car to drive home. I knew that talking with Gibbs had not solved everything but at that moment, it had felt like it had.
Split Decision
Finished! My first NCIS fic and I have quite a few more planned which should be more eventful. I hope it wasn't too bad...