Essex, UK; 2012.

"Forgive me, for what I've become."

Amarillo, The Fall.

Their eyes had adjusted to the dark, but it was still difficult to credit how little was left of the deserted building. The smell, however, was exactly the same, the flesh of the zombies and indistinguishable stench of the junk in the landfill, resulting in a strange flood of nostalgia for 2D. It had been their home for a good ten years. Of course, there was the new smell mized in with it all; one of burning and smoke and ash. The silence, also, was new. Usually there were birds, scavengers, and their unwanted, unliving hosts groaning and limping around, music from the studio, shouting, usually from Murdoc, and now there was nothing save for the pattering rain. 2D inwardly flinched at the thought of Murdoc. Of course, he was thinking of him all along, underneath, but he didn't like it surfacing. He brushed the thought away. The dampness added another quality to the smell, unclean and rotten. Standing before Kong, unbelievably for the last time, 2D and Noodle surveyed the grounds grimly.

"Did you check everywhere?" Noodle asked, as if they had actually been wandering through their old home instead of the piles of ash and rubble it had become.

"Yeah," 2D said. He gave her hand a brotherly squeeze, and she squeezed back gratefully. He wished there was something he could say, but there was no need; Noodle was no longer a child and no idiot, and understood what had happened.

"Let's go," she said bravely, and they began their descent back down the hill.

As soon as they were out of the woods and 2D's reception returned, he phoned Russel.

"Any luck?"

"He's not here," 2D said flatly, words rolling from his tongue the fifth time that year. He no longer felt anything as he said it, no disappointment, no fear. Hawaii, Mexico, L.A, even Stoke-on-Trent, and no Murdoc. They didn't expect him to be here if someone was after him, as Kong would surely be the first place someone would look, but still, they had to come. They had been putting it off, afraid of the state it would be in. And their fears were affirmed; it was worst than any of them had expected, completely burnt to the ground. 2D struggled to figure out how he could break it to Russel.

"Guys," Russel said, and 2D glanced at Noodle and could tell she was listening. "Why don' we just leave him? He could be anywhere, and he don' give a shit about us. We need to find a place to rest up."

2D watched Noodle carefully, but she barely flinched. "Maybe you're right," she conceded. "I just...want us all to be all right. Back together again. The music won't come for a long time, but we still need each other. To get to know one another again. To- " Usually articulate, she broke off in frustration, looking like she wanted to kick something.

"Yeah," Russel said gently, sensing her frustration. "So we should do that. And his Highness can join us when he's ready."

2D swallowed. "But what if he's not just in some hideout up to his old shit? Something was after us, Russel," he spoke quietly, almost apologetically. "He might be in trouble."

"But how much trouble has he got us in, D? And how much has he gotten himself into? We been tryin' for months now, and enough's enough, y'know? Murdoc can look after himself."

2D and Noodle walked on in silence for a while, the only sound in the night being their footsteps and Russel's breathing down the line; steep, unsteady.

"Guys?"

"Still 'ere," 2D murmured. "So...what now?"

"Well, I can meet you guys at Kong and we can..."

They both froze in their tracks, looking at each other searchingly. Eventually, 2D interrupted, "We can't, Russ. I'll tell you when I see you."

There was a little silence. "That don' sound good," he sighed. "OK. I'll call Damon. See if there's anywhere he can recommend. Even if we're doin' nothin' musically, he don' need to know that. An' he has a knack for getting us nice, eccentric places in the middle of nowhere."

2D nodded to himself; the newly giant Russel would need somewhere as isolated as Kong.

They hung up, and waited until they were once face to face with Russel to tell him what was left. The older man's face caved as he took the news, but then his mouth set in a grim line. "OK, then," he said, almost to himself. He sat in silence for the rest of the evening, and even 2D knew that they would no longer be looking for Murdoc. 2D felt an urge to repeat what he had said about Murdoc, his old loyalty stirring despite everything, but he knew it wouldn't do any good.

After a while, he asked,"What did he say? Damon?"

"No answer."

Only a few hours later, both Russel and Noodle were fast asleep. Russel had been right; their trip, not to mention everything else, was beginning to catch up with them. Unable to sleep, 2D decided to try Damon himself.

He picked up on the sixth ring. "'Ello?"

For a moment, 2D couldn't speak. "M-Murdoc..?"

There was a tiny pause. "2D?"

"Murdoc!" 2D burst out, an odd mixture of joy and relief and pain. "Where are you? We've been lookin' for you everywhere - are you OK?" His chest hurt and his eyes burnt. He had to sit down. He was ecstastic to an almost painful extent. He knew he should go and wake Noodle and Russel, it was so selfish of him not to. but he couldn't yet; he needed Murdoc's voice to himself for one more moment.

"Where are you?" Murdoc was demanding rudely, unconcerned, as if they had spoke a week ago instead of nearly a year.

"Murdoc, we've been lookin' for you. We started in Hawaii, then Mexico, and LA and- and Kong," he said, voice catching, remembering the state of the place. "People are saying you burnt it, but you couldn't have, right? We've lost everything, even- "

"D," Murdoc said, getting annoyed again.

"We've been everywhere, Murdoc," 2D said again, more forcefully. "We thought something had happened to you."

There was a little pause. "You didn't have to," he said eventually, grudgingly. "You know what things are like, D. We drift apart. And I can look after myself."

"But..." 2D couldn't finish. His head was spinning. A year. Murdoc sounded as unconcerned as ever.

"Listen dullard, pay attention. Get a pen and paper. I'm at 212 Wobble Street- "

"Wobble Street?"

"Yes, you moron, Wobble Street. It's a three bed in the outskirts of London, so we can keep our pet Russel the giant freak somewhere hidden. How's Noodle?" he said suddenly.

2D skipped a beat at this change of tone, before answering. "OK, I think. She seems better."

"Good," he said, business-like, as if discussing the condition of their recording equipment. "So just come here, all right? All of you."

"You could have answered your phone." It was the closest 2D could get to reproach. "And what are you doing with Damon's? Is he there?"

"I've been fucking busy, D," he snarled. "And mind your own fucking business."

2D couldn't speak for a moment. "Right. See you tomorrow, then."

"Look, don't get arsey with me, you little shit. I'm the one who has to run the show while you piss about working at funfairs and getting law degrees. It's not my fault you lot decided you needed a trip round the world to try and find me. I've been dealing with it, OK? And I've had to..."

2D inwardly groaned. Murdoc was working his way up to a full fledged rant. He also felt like crying; he had genuinely begun to believe that Murdoc may be dead, and the man just didn't seem to understand that or what it meant to him; he was acting as if he hated 2D more than ever.

"Murdoc, I can't hear you very well," he cut in. "We're in the middle of nowhere and the signal's not great. I'll call you tomorrow when we're on the way, yeah?"

"What? I can hear you fine, D. D?"

2D hung up, and switched the phone off. He looked over at his friends; there was no point waking them now. Stupid, he was so fucking stupid. Why did he always expect things to change?

In the outskirts of Hammersmith, Murdoc phoned 2D back six times before throwing the phone across the room. He rummaged around in the debris until he found another bottle, and pried it open. In a rage, he thought he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. He threw an arm over his eyes. After putting it off for 13 odd years, if he was going to get anywhere with this shit he was going to have to go through it, all of it, and acknowledge whatever the fuck had gone on. What was still going on.