Love's Captive
Chapter One – Love's Cruelty

Summary: Kagome Higurashi has been struck by a Inuyasha Takahashi ever since she was a child. She never seems to be able to forget about him; no matter how hard she tries. He doesn't want her anymore, she still wants him. How can she go on with a heart that will always belong to him?

Author's Note: To everyone who's reading this, I hope you'll like it. I would like to dedicate this fanfiction to my first love, wherever he is. He still holds my heart, and I know it'll be his, perhaps for the rest of my life.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

If I were to never forget you, would that be a crime?

It has been thirteen years since I last saw him. That being said, the last time I saw him was in elementary school, when I was a tiny, innocent nine-year-old girl.

My name is Kagome Higurashi, and I am twenty-two years old. I graduated from university last summer in the United States, then I came back to Tokyo, my hometown, to find work. Right now, I hate to say that I depend on my mother and I work at home, which is an old shrine. I am a Shinto priestess, but I really should go out to find a way to make my own living.

Throughout the years, I had my fair share of what typical teenage girls would experience – crushes, dates, and all those little things that make up everyone's lives when they're young. But one thing that makes me unique? I'm in love.

Love. Love is the one thing I can firmly say I have experienced. Because I've been in love ever since I was nine.

None of my friends ever took me seriously. Love isn't something you can find that easily, especially not when you're nine. That would be called a crush.

But is it really a crush when you've thought of him all the years you've been separated from him? Is it a crush when you go to sleep at night, thinking that maybe, just maybe he might feel the same way if you were to meet him? Is it a crush when your deepest wish is to see him, to be at least friends with him, and to be by his side, as a lover or not, throughout his life?

I can never forget him, no, he has become an inevitable part of me.

And my heart will belong to him.

Always.

If I were to relive all our memories all the time, would you laugh at me?

"Inuyasha Takahashi?"

"Present," the quiet eight-year-old boy said, raising his hand for a moment.

It was a typical school day, in the middle of March. Even as young as they were, Kagome knew what a crush was. She liked the cute boys in her class. There was Miroku, Ginta and Inuyasha. Personally, she thought Ginta was the hottest, and they had more than often flirted on the school bus on their way to school.

As for Miroku and Inuyasha, they sometimes came up to her, and there was this feeling that they liked her. Especially Inuyasha. So she felt as if she might as well like them too. They would smile at her, or talk to her, and she just knew.

The year droned on, and before she knew it, Ginta and Miroku weren't in her class anymore. It was Inuyasha, and she saw him everyday at school. He was the only boy she thought of now. Him and his unique woodsy scent that always clung to him.

There were instances when she accidentally brushed against his arm, or slip her hand into his. They were all accidents, yet these moments always left her blushing furiously. The last time her hand ever brushed his, Inuyasha had turned to look at her for a full minute. She had looked away, her cheeks painted red, and it wasn't until the teacher called for their attention did he look away.

"Hey, have you heard about Inuyasha and Sango?" Rin whispered to her one day.

"What about them?" Sango was her best friend, and even so, Kagome had never confided in anyone about her crush on Inuyasha. It seemed to be better if it was kept a secret.

"Inuyasha likes Sango. That's what everyone's saying," Rin replied.

Her heart sank. She kept quiet.

But she did note how Inuyasha gave Sango an extremely expensive present on her birthday.

And she did note how Inuyasha avoided her as much as possible that year.

If I am confused, would you want to make things clear for me?

"Rin? Yeah, it's me Kagome," she spoke into the phone.

"Oh my god! It's been like, years! How's America?" Rin gushed enthusiastically.

"It's okay, but I miss home so much. How's Tokyo?" Kagome asked.

"High school. So much work I swear!"

Kagome thought it was now or never.

"Hey, you still remember Inuyasha?"

"Sure, he's in my class now. What about him?"

Kagome inhaled slowly. Why she was talking about this was beyond her.

"I – I still like him."

There was a few beats of silence, then Rin spoke again.

"You mean you liked him before? And now you still like him? But it's been almost seven years!"

Kagome gave a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, I know, but I still feel something."

It wasn't till later that Rin told her she had personally gone up to Inuyasha to tell him. Kagome hadn't expected Rin to be so bold, but maybe the years had morphed her into a girl she didn't know.

"He said he didn't even know you," Rin said, answering Kagome's queries as to his reaction. "I'm really sorry, Kagome."

"It's fine," Kagome felt numb for an instant, her heart dropped into her stomach. Was this heartbreak? No it couldn't be. It was a stupid crush her stupid nine-year-old self had had on a guy. Then something small snapped in her at Rin's words.

"What does he mean he doesn't even know me? We were in the same class for two years! He's such a liar!"

"I'm sure he meant he didn't know know you, you know what I mean?"

Kagome sighed. "Yeah, okay fine."

"Sorry Kagome, really."

It wasn't many weeks later that Rin and Kagome got caught up with their lives, and slowly drifted apart, never contacting each other again.

If I went out with other boys, would you still creep into my mind?

"Really? Why would you do that?" Kagome laughed with the cute boy next to her.

"Hey, I honestly didn't know it was wine! I mean my mom comes in bringing three bottles of juice. Then she's like, 'have some when you're thirsty!' So that's what I did. Who knew that one would be wine?" Kouga said, glad to see his date so happy.

Kagome was still laughing uncontrollably. "How was the hangover?"

Kouga shuddered. "Terrible, I tell you. My head hurt like hell. I downed like more than half of that wretched drink before I felt something was wrong. How does a ten-year-old boy know what wine tastes like? I mean, it tasted kinda like grape juice that went wrong."

Kagome was still laughing when she suddenly squealed.

"Didn't think you were ticklish, eh?" Kouga smirked, his hands at her hips.

Kagome slid as far away as she could from him, but he managed to tackle her so she was almost lying down on the seat.

"I'm not! Stop!" she protested between squeaks and giggles.

As she stared into Kouga's sincere eyes, only one thought crossed her mind.

'Why can't I fall for him? Why am I still stuck over that idiot?"

Kouga was nice and funny, not to mention that he made it so obvious he was interested in her. Yet he wasn't what she wanted, and she could never say yes to him.

That was their first date, among many others.

If I felt like I wanted to be by your side forever, would you let me?

I was sixteen when I thought of wanting to be there for you forever.

The feelings I had had for you had dulled over the years, yet I was unsure whether they had really, truly dulled, or had morphed into something else entirely.

When the junior prom photos went up online, I saw you in them. You were as handsome as ever. You definitely weren't the cutest or hottest guy I ever met, but I found you absolutely beautiful. Your golden eyes struck me, your dishevelled silver locks only added to your and I felt my heart stutter.

I never shed tears for you, no.

Because my heart bled for you.

I decided I wanted to be your friend, when I moved back to Tokyo and if fate were so kind as to let me meet you once more. I wanted to be the one you could rely on, because I knew I was the one person on earth who would never betray you for anything. I didn't have to have you as a lover – I would know better than anyone else that you can't force other people to love you. Yet I wanted to be by your side, always.

If I were to think about meeting you once again all the time, would it really happen?

I had always visualized our meeting to be completely random. We would bump into each other as complete strangers, then we would recognize each other right away. The awkwardness would then suffocate us, but I would try to ease it the best I could.

Little did I know it would be so different from that.

I had always been passionate about writing, so I decided to try writing short stories for living. After submitting my work to a few publishers, one of them contacted me. I had been ecstatic, and dressed hurriedly that morning with a glint of excitement in my eye.

"Good luck Kagome!" My mother had hugged me warmly, ensuring me that I would do just fine.

"Thank you mama," I returned her smile.

When I reached the publisher's main office, the woman at the counter told me to sit by the side to wait for my interview. There was only one man sitting there – a man with silver hair.

I had recognized him immediately when I stepped into the office, yet I was hoping I had made a horrible mistake. After all, there could be someone else out there that looked like him.

Perhaps it was the clogging perfume the woman wore, or simply because of all the years that had gone past. He didn't recognize me at all, not even my scent.

"Hey," he flashed me a smile, nodding towards the folder in my hands. "You're a writer too?"

"Yep!" I barely squeaked out, sitting down next to him. He still smelled the same, and his amber eyes were still as stunning as ever. He was so handsome.

"Can I see it?" he asked, holding out a hand.

"Only if I get to see yours," I replied, trying hard to slow my heart down.

"Sure," he shrugged, taking my folder while handing me his.

It took him approximately five seconds to see my name.

"Kagome Higurashi?" his wide eyes bore into mine with shock.

"Hi Inuyasha," I said, looking away immediately. I was scared he might think I still liked him or something (which was true) but it would be so embarrassing if he knew that, so I had to act oblivious. And maybe drop in a hint or two about a boyfriend or something.

There was a few beats of silence before he spoke again. I took that time to take a deep breath, and I noted how his woodsy scent was still there. I imprinted that scent into my mind once more.

"Wow, I didn't expect to see you again."

His tone seemed…weird. Like he was trying to act casual yet there was something brewing behind it all. I didn't know him well, but I felt something in it.

"Yes, me neither. Last time we saw each other was in elementary school."

I had no idea what to say. What I really wanted was to keep in touch with him, to see him again, and become friends with him. Yet it was so awkward between us it was suffocating me.

"Hey, would you, uh, like to have lunch together after this? I mean, so we could catch up on stuff?" I spoke up after a moment.

He waited until I looked up at him. "I'm sorry, but I'm not free after this."

I nodded, acting indifferent. My heart screamed otherwise, as I felt another break. How many times would it hurt over this one boy?

Gosh, how I wish I could forget about him. Find a new love and move on.

"But I'm free tomorrow, do you want to meet up?" Inuyasha continued, still looking at me.

"Sure," I barely muttered, acting uninterested. I would not be the one to ask him for his phone number. No way.

"What's your number?" he asked, whipping out his phone.

Yes! I did a small mental dance in my head. I won!

I gave him my number, keeping my cool face on, and he gave me his.

Later that night would I feel torn. Was it for the better that I was going to see him again? Or would it hurt me even more afterwards?

Love is so cruel. And yet, I love him.

I really do.