A/N at bottom!

I watched the battle for Hidan's head from the rooftop, safely waiting with Pein for the retrieval of our comrade's cranium.

Sasori and Tobi had joined the fight not long after Kakuzu had returned to the street, the former carving a path of destruction with his multiple wooden puppets, and the latter flitting around the battlefield and performing some pretty kick-ass Taijutsu.

Itachi paced along the rooftop, his eyes never leaving the fight.

"Where are-"

"The women are travelling south." Pein responded curtly. "They should arrive at our base in the next day and prepare for our arrival."

"Ah," I nodded, sitting back again.

I really missed the shenanigans.

Itachi stopped pacing and now stood stock-still, "Danzo is attempting an escape."

My brother grabbed my wrist and the three of us were suddenly standing in front of Danzo.

"Ah, so the leader arrives." Danzo grinned, baring too-white teeth.

"Don't let him monologue!" I screeched, tucking myself behind the two S-class ninja.

Pein held up a hand and Danzo was propelled away. I really fucking loved Almighty Push.

Itachi lunged forward, kicking at Danzo's head with a spin. The old man blocked it with his forearm and jumped backward, dodging the clone Itachi had sent out during his fancy-ass spin. They were moving rather quickly but if I was easily keeping up with them visually, I could at least handle supporting Itachi. Probably.

I rushed forward, drawing Kogitsune-maru.

"Sakana!" Pein shouted, "Get back here!"

"I can deal with this guy," I shouted back, lunging at the old man with all of my might.

He leaped over me and kicked my back, and I felt the air being knocked out of my lungs.

Itachi stood before me, his figure was perfectly poised. "Come at me with all you have," he commanded, and before I could register my actions, I was rushing at the Uchiha.

He dodged my charge and ducked under me, knocking me on my back.

"You must always retain your calmness." Itachi was looming over me now, helping me up. "Now, again."

I charged him again, trying to analyze his movements. He was too fast- too unpredictable.

"Again," he chanted, repeatedly forcing me to attack him, only to knock me back down on my ass.

I gasped for air, refilling my lungs. My chest hurt and a cough rattled my chest as I stood back up. My blood rushed in my ears as I staggered up.

"Sakana," Pein growled, gripping my wrist once more, "Stand down."

My vision swam but I growled at the leader of Akatsuki, "He has Hidan!" I roared, yanking my hand free. My wrist popped and I winced, but I never broke eye contact with Pein.

He stepped back, silenced.

Calm. I wasn't too familiar with the term, as my life was constantly surrounded by chaos... I exhaled slowly, adjusting my grip on the hilt of my sword.

It felt almost as if I was receiving Jashin's blessing at the same time as being struck right through the gut with a Chidori. Or at least, my best approximation of being struck through the gut with a Chidori.

Every inch of my body tingled and burned, but I could feel the power coursing through underneath the sting. My right shoulder burned, where the evidence of my stupidly fangirl-ish obsession was permanently etched into my skin.

I ignored it and fixed my gaze on the old man.

"You," I hissed, angry and possessive, "Have something of mine."

Danzo didn't even flinch as he turned to me, his dark and empty eyes almost boring holes into my soul.

"Sakana," Itachi tried to catch my attention, but his words barely registered through my bloodlust. "Sakana."

I hissed and propelled myself forward, arching my sword up at Danzo's face.

His arm shot up to block my strike but somehow I was moving faster... Hitting harder.

I smirked at the sight of his blood smeared across the flat of my blade and jumped backwards.

I had always fucking hated Danzo. I wanted to kill him. Decapitate him like Kakashi did Hidan.

I wanted to gore him, watch his intestines spill out and enjoy every moment before his soul finally left his body.

I wanted to hear every gasp and gurgle as he drowned on his own blood.

Do it. Jashin's voice whispered in my ear. This wretched man holds the head of your betrothed. He means to dissect it. To learn our secret.

"He is not worthy." I spoke in cadence with my God, leveling my stare on the withered old fool.

Slowly I kicked a sigil into the dust and ash beneath my feet. The cobblestoned streets peeked up at me as I mutely drew the circle.

Itachi spoke again, but this time to Pein. His words were muffled and drowned by Jashin's commandments as I lifted the sword to my face.

The taste of Danzo's blood was bitter and vile, but it was enough to seal his fate.

"May your soul serve Jashin-sama well," I mused as I raised the sword.

A flash of silver stopped me dead in my tracks. Well, it was more so the spinning red tomoe underneath a wild nest of silver.

"Fuck you, Hatake," I grimaced and fell to my knees, the earlier feeling of power suddenly vanishing.

I grunted fighting against the explosive pain.

Itachi was in front of me again, protecting me from the new adversary.

Something pressed against my stomach and I hissed, then I was gently being lifted up and tucked closely against a strong, slightly chilly body.

"Big brother to the rescue," It came out as a snarky wince, but I took some comfort in the pleasant act.

"Never do that again," Pein responded, distant yet concerned. The sound of something dropping cut me off as I opened my mouth the retort. I looked up again, past Itachi's back. Kakashi leaned down and picked up the box from the street.

Danzo was gone.

Somewhere In Konoha

Konan had taken extra precautions after entering the leaf village, especially after her quick henge had faded away. The quartet of women couldn't afford to be caught, and so they stuck to the alleyways.

"It smells so yummy~" Zena groaned as the rich aroma of roasted pork wafted through the air.

"Its definitely barbecue," Suki chimed in, her mouth watering at the scent.

"And where there's barbecue, there's Chouji," Kira cackled evilly before darting off into the streets.

"Kira!" Konan exclaimed as Suki gave chase, towing an apologetic looking Zena behind her. "Oh fuck," Akatsuki's angel groaned, dropping her face into her palms. Leader-sama was going to be so pissed.

Kira, Suki, and Zena: Downtown Streets of Konoha

"You were right," Suki affirmed her twin as the trio spied the Akimichi boy exiting the restaurant.

"Cho-!" Suki began to shout as Zena muffled her.

"Quiet! He'll think we're insane if we approach him on the street and know his name."

The pessimistic redhead gave Zena a dry look. "We are insane, but she does have a point. We don't need the extra attention. We can just pretend we don't know who he is and ask if he's seen our pain-in-the-ass friend."

"Great idea," Zena said as Suki crooned, Awwwe! You called her your friend!"

Kira rolled her eyes but led her two companions toward the young boy.

"Excuse us," Zena softly called, but the boy didn't hear.

He began to walk away and Zena deflated a bit as Suki inhaled and let out an unholu screech of, "HEY LITTLE BOY!"

She succeeded in gaining his attention, along with the attention of everyone on the street.

Her twin held back a cringe as Chouji slowly turned around. "Eh, me?"

"Yes. Sorry." Suki chuckled wryly. "Don't know my own volume sometimes... Anyways we're looking for our friend and were wondering if you'd seen her?"

He scratched his head, "Well, I don't really know to be honest."

"She's kina short, really really weird. Rednand white hair-"

"Oh! You mean Saki-san! Yeah, she had lunch with my friend Shikamaru. They both left together not too long ago."

"Was there anything she had said?" Kira asked, tapping her foot.

"Well she said she was a psychic and could read the future... Oh and she had a box with her. Shikamaru was going to unseal it for her."

"Oh! Ummm..." Zena trailed off, digging through her pouches at her hips and down her legs.

"How long ago exactly did they leave? And which way were they going?" Kira asked, glancing around the street.

"Probably 10 minutes ago and I think they were heading toward the Tower. Anyways, my sensei is waiting for me at Ichiraku's. We're gonna have ramen on him."

"Wait!" Zena cried, finally retrieving a small pouch from on of her pockets. It was a bag of crisps.

"My favorite chips! Thanks, ladies!" Chouji smiled before waving at the trio. "I hope you find your friend!"

"Thanks a lot, Chouji!" Suki grinned, dragging the other two girls up the street, toward tthe red-painted tower.

The trio had barely made it a blocm before the ground shook and the buildings rumbled from an explosion.

"Hmph, idiot." Kira snorted as she dodged a few frantic pedestrians.

"Incoming," Zena warned as a throng of panicking villagers scrambled through.

After the swath had passed, Kira, Suki, and Zena rejoined in the center of the street, a rather annoyed Konan appearing in front of the trio, blocking their path.

After a moment of silence, the stern look melted off the woman's face, replaced by curiosity. "Did you at least have fun?"

"Barely," Kira smirked, crossing her arms behind her head.

"We did learn that Sakana is in the area, and she had a box." Zena supplied helpfully.

"That explosion was undoubtedly Deidara's handiwork." Konan deduced.

Kira shrugged and stride past Konan, "We've made it this far, we might as well find them."

A frown split Konan's face for a brief moment before settling back on its usual stoicism, and she took the lead through the streets.

As the four odd women marched toward what seemed to be the epicenter of the destruction, they spotted a familiar white bird hovering not too far above a still-standing building. Zena covered her nose and mouth as they delved deeper into the smoky debris.

Kira and Suki, unfazed, marched on. Konan faltered beside the gentle brunette. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," Zena offered a small smile. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Alright," Konan replied, waiting for the brunette to straighten herself out and resume the trek.

Suki zoomed away, flitting into the waning moonlight with a loud shriek.

"Suki!" Konan exclaimed, darting after the blonde, coming through the fog onto the street.

Konoha jonin and Anbu forces littered the street, greatly outnumbering the scattered Akatsuki members.

Suki was stopped a few feet into the clearing. Destroyed buildings and large piles of debris were scattered among what used to be a village square.

Konan felt Pein's instant connection to her through the iron rod piercing her lip. She knew his exact location- south side of the wreckage, down the street a few blocks.

Protect them. The message wasn't only meant for her. All of the members heard it, and each would protect the future-telling trio of trouble with their lives.

"Hey!" Suki shouted as a jonin approached her.

"Ma'am you need to go back the-" His eyes landed on Konan, who closed in on Suki, placing a gentle and steady hand on the blonde's shoulder. "You're with them."

In an instant, Konan's paper wings materialized on her back, and she wrapped her left arm around Suki's midsection as she pulled up.

Kira's eyes narrowed as the jonin looked at her and Zena. "Fuck off." She hissed and pulled one of her newest creations out of her hip pouch.

The smoke bomb-like apparatus hit him square in the forehead and bounced off with a soft 'thunk'. It went off seconds later, and Kira slapped a hand over Zena's face. "Don't breathe unless you want to get stupid."

Something in the fog snatched Zena away, and Kira jumped. "Zena!" She shouted, looking around.

A tendril snaked around Kira's waist and she was snatched away too.

When she came out of the fog, she was standing before Kakuzu and Sasori.

Kakuzu's arm retracted from her midsection and reattached to his body. Kinda gross, but okay. Kira thought.

"Zena-"

"The girl is fine. I believe Zetsu is transporting her to Leader as we speak." Kakuzu grumbled. "Sasori, you will be paying me for retrieving your woman."

Kira blubbered, "His woman?"

"I would not stoop so low," Sasori replied acidly, summoning a few of his puppets.

Okay, now Kira was mad.

"Very funny coming from someone who's shorter than me."

"Half of an inch, you wretch."

"Listen, I don't care which of you is the woman. I want money."

What else is new?

Pein relaxed, loosening his grip on me. "We'll be departing shortly."

"Huh?" I asked, dumbly.

Itachi moved then, too fast for me to keep up. Kakashi was moving too, just as quickly as the Uchiha.

"Enough," Pein monotonously said. "We'll take our leave once the box is returned to us."

"Filth." Kakashi replied.

"Just give us the god-damned head," I cried. "Then we're gone. No more fighting. No more invading. Naruto isn't even here."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed on me. "You're in league with the Akatsuki. You're trash too."

I frowned, hurt by Cool-Guy Kakashi's bitter declaration.

Nonetheless Kakashi was gone in a swirl of leaves, the sealed box clattering to the ground in his absence.

Itachi held it seconds later, and Pein lifted me once more.

It was a good thing, too... Cause I was really fuckin sore.

We met up with Zetsu, Tobi and Zena not too far out of Konoha. Pein had briefly told me we'd all split ways and meet again along the route to our new base. I could only assume it was to avoid tails from the Hidden Leaf. I shrugged and let myself sleep in the comfort of my long-lost brother's arms.

I awoke when Tobi came bounding up, boyish concern lacing his voice.

"Is Sakana-chan okay?"

"Just some mental scarring from Hatake," I replied hoarsely. It was mental. Whatever he did to me, it was from the Sharingan.

He had become way less cool in my book.

"So um, Sakana-chan," Zena's concerned came from beside Tobi. She held out a few small soldier pills and a canteen. "I have some capsules Kira-chan and Sasori-kun helped me make. They'll help your recovery."

I silently swallowed the hard pills, the flavor of Zena's cooking exploding across my taste buds. "Whoa... Sick."

She smiled and retreated.

Pein set me down, distancing himself once more. I staggered to my feet, still aching from the torture. "I can't believe he called me trash."

"What?" Zena asked softly, halfway across the small clearing now.

"Kakashi," I sighed, "He fuckin' called me trash. I know I'm trash. I don't need a spiky-haired jerk-face to tell me so."

She made a small noise of either amusement or concern, I didn't really care.

Re-energized from Zena's miracle pill and my small nap, there was still one thing bothering me.

"Where is Hidan?" I turned my attention back to Pein, who was casually leaning against a tree behind me. He raised an orange eyebrow at me.

"You're only now asking?"

I gave him a withering glare.

"Kakuzu took great pleasure dismembering him."

I scoffed. "Oh that's just wonderful."

Pein didn't respond, to my disdain.

I furrowed my brow and stomped closer to the stoic ninja. "You never said where he is."

"Fine, since you're so insistent..." Pein mumbled, producing a small scroll. "Here."

I took the item from his extended hand, confused. "What the hell is this supposed to be?"

"Hidan."

"You sealed him? The fuck, Pein?"

"Your fuinjutsu training begins now. Unseal the scroll, and you'll have Hidan back."

Alright, whatever. I turned the cylinder in my hand a few times. "I can't even read Kanji. Or romanji, whatever its called."

"Then I suggest you begin learning."

What a dick.

"Watch your tongue," he replied curtly, closed his eyes and resumed ignoring me.

Guess I better get to work.