Title: Tortoise and the Hare
Word Count: 1,714
Rating: T (For suggested sexual content and swearing)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Inspiration: I wanted to make a character for Gai. If people like it I'll add more onto this. I'm just imagining little ficlets of their time together and how they came to be. Let me know!

There was a soft knock on her door and she sensed Kakashi's chakra on the other side. Curious, she opened the door and tilted her head in inquiry. "Hi Kashi, are you hungry?"

"Umeko, you wound me." Kakashi leaned his hip on the door frame and gave her a crooked smirk behind his mask. "I'm actually here on a mission."

Umeko rolled her toffee colored eyes and stepped back to let him in. He strolled through the door like he had many times before and walked into the kitchen. She padded in behind him and sighed in exasperation when he looked around expectantly. "I haven't had time to cook anything yet."

His one eye turned up into a 'u' because he had been caught but who could blame him. Umeko was the best cook in Konoha and it was a shame she was an even better ninja. "But you just got back from a mission," she could practically hear the pout in his voice. "You always cook when you get back."

She had to laugh at him, he was pretty pathetic. "Yeah well, it's usually my de-stressor but Gai took care of that for me." He looked at her in horror. "A few times, actually-"

"Stop!" He plugged his ears and swayed at little. Then he stopped and looked at her curiously. He unplugged his ears but kept them hovering near. "Does he ever pose during—No! No!" What was wrong with him? Umeko was bent over laughing at him and he had to stop and appreciate the woman in front of him. If his rival hadn't gotten to her first he could have died at the chance to have her. She was the perfect woman in his mind. Tall and curvy, she was full figured and had a gorgeous face that was shamefully covered by an ANBU mask most the time. She was intelligent, the genius of her class, just one year behind his and Gai's. Her long curly brown hair was usually braided and resting on her shoulder. She had once told him that despite all the times her long hair had gotten her in trouble she would never cut it. That was her one vain fault. She had also said she liked it because Gai liked to pull it when they were—shit! What was wrong with him? He was seriously depraved. Not that he was checking out another man's woman, no. He was okay with that and he knew she liked his attentions. They had a good standing relationship where they liked to tease each other. He was depraved because she liked to talk about her sex life and he ended up picturing Gai naked and he just shuddered.

She had stopped laughing and came to stand in front of him. "What'd you just think of?"

"You."

"Hatake, you bastard!" She punched his arm and he felt it sting a little. "You know you'd take me if I offered." She winked at him making him smile.

"What man wouldn't?"

She wasn't expecting that and it made her heart melt. "Awe!" She jumped on him, practically strangling him with her hug. "You're so sweet sometimes!" She pulled back but left her arms around his neck. "Anyway, you said something about a mission?"

He put his hands on her hips and swayed a little with her, making her dance with him. She felt a brush run up her face because he was so smooth and it was charming. "Gai said he'd like lunch for him and Lee, if you're not busy."

That was unexpected and it made her giggle against his chest. "They must be really training hard."

"It looked that way when I wandered by."

"Alright then." She let go and moved over to the cupboards to see what she could whip up for three of her favorite guys. "I'm assuming you're staying to eat as well?"

He gave her a 'duh' look and meandered to the living room. He flopped down on the couch and pulled out his book.

His vision was obscured by her hair as she leaned over the side of the couch and was practically touching noses with him. "Whatcha doing?"

He smacked her with the book in the back of her head hoping that would be enough of an explanation.

"I know you're not reading. You haven't turned the page in ten minutes."

"That's creepy."

She smiled a huge gigawatt smile at him.

"This is my favorite scene."

"No it's not. They're just talking here." She looked at his face seriously. "The best one isn't for another two chapters."

"Does Gai know what a perv you are?"

"Of course! He loves it!"

Kakashi shuddered again. "How did Gai get someone like you?" He asked softly.

Umeko straightened and looked at him confused. "I don't understand." Just then the timer went off on the oven and she ran to it. She came back a few minutes later with flour on her nose. He thought it made her cuter so he didn't tell her as she sat across from him.

"What are you asking, Kashi?"

He wanted to ask why she picked Might Gai over him but he knew that answer. He wasn't good enough for someone like her. He had told her that many times and yet…he wished he could have her. He was happy for his two best friends though and didn't feel any malice towards either of them.

Umeko watched as subtle emotions ran across his face. She could see the lines of his lips as he frowned and she wondered why he had turned so thoughtful today.

"When did you know…?" Kakashi soft voice kind of died out on the question but she picked up on what he wanted.

"I'm not really sure when I thought the crazy exercise driven guy was the one for me. It was a lot of things, I think. We went on a lot of ANBU missions together and I liked him when he was serious and calm. He saved my life once and it was wonderfully romantic and usually I'm not that kind of girl but he makes me be." She blushed at her words. "Remember when he used to follow me around at the academy?"

Kakashi laughed a little and sat up so he could watch her properly.

"He was the first person to say congratulations when I graduated top of my class, and when I made ANBU and when I became a Jounin. After a while he was the first one I ran to when I had news, good or bad."

"You know you could have really any guy?" Kakashi didn't mean it as an insult to his best friend she knew it. It was a question that she had heard phrased many different ways and not at all just curious like his.

She sighed and looked at him like he was stupid. "You know him."

That was all the answer he needed because he did know Gai. Gai was the strongest ninja in almost all of the lands; he was also one of the kindest and most intelligent ninjas in the village. Anyone that knew the true Gai would know he was an outstanding leader and even better friend. His optimism was boundless and his personality, while sometimes hard to swallow, always brought a smile to everyone's face.

"Plus," she added with a sly grin, "He's great in bed."

Kakashi groaned and face palmed. Then he caught a whiff of something on the air. She saw his nose twitch and recognized it as the sign of him smelling something. She leapt up and ran to the kitchen. He laughed when he heard her swearing.

"Everything okay in there?"

He heard her say "cheeky bastard" right before she said a lot nicer: "yeah, you saved my cake."

"You know what I was thinking?"

"You've been doing too much of that lately apparently. Questioning my relationship, insulting my boyfriend."

"I was thinking," he said talking over her grumbling. "I thought of a challenge for Gai and I."

"You want to challenge him to something?"

"Mhm. I was thinking of seeing who could make you orgasm more."

He heard a lot of things being dropped in the kitchen and he couldn't for the life of him stop the giant smirk running across his face.

"I'll ask him about it."

His eyes widened and he choked on his own spit. Holy shit, she was a perv!

"Ah, my Lotus Flower comes!" Gai yelled as he ran up to his girlfriend and Kakashi. Kakashi bit back a laugh at the double entendre and moved out the way as Gai lifted Umeko off her feet and spun her around. It was a good thing Kakashi had offered to carry the large basket of food for her. "Come on, come on!" He yelled excitedly as he put her down and dragged her to the training ground where his whole team was. She gave Kakashi a what-the-hell look as she was basically running next to Gai.

"Um, hi everyone!" Umeko said as she looked down at all of them. She thought it was only supposed to be Gai and Lee today. They were all smiling at her, even Neji and she knew something was up. She turned to ask Gai what it was but she found he was not next to her but kneeling down with his head bowed over her hand. "G-Gai?"

"Umeko," he raised his eyes to her and all traces of his previous excitement where gone. He was serious, his dark eyes intense and smoldering and she felt her knees get weak. She loved him when he looked at her like that and he knew it. It made her feel so wanted and sexy. "I wish to spend the rest of my life with you, would you marry me?"

Everyone was taken aback because when they were planning this out they expected some overzealous long drawn out endeavor. Not something like this. Tenten's mouth was hanging wide open in shock.

"Of course my sexy green beast!" She squealed as she jumped on him and they both fell to the ground.

All four of the spectators cringed as one of the hottest Kunoichi in the village said something so Gai-like.