Tony is Mr. Mom

Tony dragged his butt into kitchen slumping into his chair. Steve was sitting in a chair near it feeding Peter his lunch. "You're home early," Steve said checking his watch.

"Pepper told me not to come back until I can focus on work again and not checking my phone every minute to see if you need me. We just got hitched, Peter just got settled, I'm nervous and you're not used to being home with him alone," Tony confessed. Pepper had kicked him out and told him that work had to be on his mind, not the baby.

"Well since Pep wants you to stay here I can go to Shield and work there while you aren't," Steve said trying to get Peter to eat his carrots by making silly airplane noises.

Tony thought for a minute, taking care of Peter was a synch when he had done it. Pete was such a laid-back and calm baby. Tony smiled, he was really cheating Steve though but he felt like having some time to sit and not do anything so he nodded. "Alright, if that's what you want to do." Tony leaned over and kissed Steve while Peter made faces.

Tony scooped Peter out of his highchair and blew raspberries on his stomach while the little child giggled. Steve smiled and sent a quick text to Fury saying that he'd be coming in to work on Monday. He got a reply asking about Peter to which he typed: Tony's gonna watch him.

He sat for a while before Fury just typed back okay. Steve smiled and spent the rest of the weekend with his family and his extended Avengers family.

Monday was the first day that Tony was going to have alone with Peter. Steve was reluctant to leave making sure before he did that Tony knew everything that he had to, to take care of the baby. Tony had to physically force his husband to leave for work yelling that everything would be fine and that if he didn't leave now he would be late. Tony turned to the baby who was now babbling happily in his playpen.

Tony blinked, he had no idea what to do with the baby until he cried, he knew the many reasons why he would cry and how to remedy them, but not what to do with him if he was just sitting there so he decided to do nothing. Apparently that didn't sit well with the little one because he began to whimper and then to cry.

Tony went and picked up the wailing child sacrificing his eardrums. The child quieted down and so Tony, thinking he was clear set Peter down which triggered a new bout of crying. Tony, realizing his conundrum picked up his son and eyed his lab with a pout, he had tinkering to do! Tony had an idea so he rocked his son until he fell asleep.

After Pete was asleep Tony dragged his playpen into the lab and laid him in it. He looked over to make sure that Peter was safe every so often. He piddled with a joint on the Ironman suit that had been sticking and needed fixing.

A few moments later Peter whimpered, the tell-tale sign that he had awakened. Peter toddled to the side and peeked at Tony. "Daddy, I hungy," Peter whined. Tony cocked an eyebrow.

"Is that so munchkin? What do ya wanna eat?" Tony asked throwing Peter over his shoulder much to the toddler's delight. He giggled as Tony put him in his highchair and locked him in. He took the chewing gum he had out of his mouth and set it on the lip of his cup.

"Weet taters!" Peter said waving him arms. Tony nodded and looked for the sweet potato baby food in the fridge. He took them and got a baby spoon and began to let Peter feed himself. Peter flung the mush everywhere and Tony sighed taking the spoon from the toddler. He fed Peter while the boy tried to make a mess. Tony gave a frustrated sigh.

"Peter, big boys don't play with their food, hasn't Papa told you that?" Pete nodded solemnly and then ate with little mess. Tony wiped the boy's mouth and then gave him a sippy-cup of apple juice, Peter's favorite, and left to see what the damage of Peter feeding himself was. There was some on the table and chairs but they were coated in finish and were easy to clean.

Peter whined and Tony looked to see what he wondered for a long while how Peter had done it. Peter had a wad of bubblegum stuck in his little piece of hair that Tony styled in the morning. He was pulling it and making a mess of it, making his eyes water in pain. Tony lunged forward and realized Peter had gotten his gum from his cup. He looked around for some sort of answer but could find none. He pulled out his phone and looked for Steve's number but decided against it.

"JARVIS!? How do I get gum out of Peter's hair?" Tony yelled taking Peter's hands in one of his to make sure he didn't pull anymore.

"Many different sources say peanut butter sir," JARVIS's voice said. Tony went to the cabinet and dug around listening to Peter pull at the gum in his hair pitifully. He grabbed the peanut butter and a baking spatula. Tony tried to get the gum coated in peanut butter but Peter kept squirming. Tony finally got it coated well enough to maybe get it out but Peter realized that it was peanut butter and kept trying to eat it. Tony ran to the bathroom and started washing Pete's hair but only some of the gum came out so Tony got the scissors that Steve used to trim his hair. He got Peter to sit still, right until Peter saw the scissors in Tony's hand in the reflection in the mirror.

That's when Pete started the waterworks, he HATED getting his hair trimmed. Peter was squirming and crying and he just wouldn't stop. Tony tried to calm him down but Peter was determined to drown him out with wails of distress. Tony stroked his head, rubbed his back, pleaded with him to be quiet, even tried to bribe him with candy but nothing worked so Tony gritted his teeth and cut the remaining gum out of his son's hair. Peter stopped crying when Tony was done and Tony sighed. He knew that Steve had left some things for him so he decided to get stuff done.

Tony got Peter down for a nap, 9 o'clock sharp, and then popped in a Barney video for Peter when he woke up. He walked into the kitchen where there were some lists. The first was things for Peter to do to entertain himself, the next was a shopping list, Tony looked and saw that it was seven pages, seven pages! The last was a list of things that needed to be down around the house.

Tony looked at the list of things to do and saw 'cook dinner' and decided to try it without JARVIS's help. He put a cake in the oven for desert and that's when he decided to check on Peter. He picked up the toddler and a terrible smell hit him, Peter must need a change. He went to the nursery and found the Pampers. He put a new on Peter after he had cleaned him up. He took the old one and dumped the mess into the toilet. He then proceeded and to throw it in the dryer and hit start.

"Sir, I am told by Mr. Stark-Roger that the diapers-" JARVIS's voice broke through but Tony cut him off.

"JARVIS, mute." Tony went back and dressed Peter in his onesie that Bruce had given him with the spider on the front and with the webbing design with blue details. Peter giggled as Tony gave him paper and crayons. Time passed with Tony doing the chores until smoke began pouring out of the stove and Tony put Peter in his playpen before opening it and pulled out the thoroughly burnt cake which Tony threw on the counter cursing quietly. Tony looked at the clock and then decided maybe he should try to get Peter some lunch, he looked at the cake and decided to see if Peter would eat some.

Tony cut a chunk off and set it on a plate. He got Peter and set him in his highchair. "Hey Peter, wanna try Daddy's special cake?" Peter nodded vigorously. Tony presented the cake and Peter wrinkled his little nose in disgust.

"That doesn't look like Papa's cake Daddy."

"This is what I call…. Charcoal Cake Peter," Tony said frowning, "It's not like Papa's because Papa didn't make it, I did."

"I don't wanna eat it, it looks yucky. Papa says charcoal is bad for you," Peter said it and turned his head away. Tony blew a hair that had fallen into his face away and tried to get Peter to eat but Pete wouldn't budge, so Tony gave him a peanut butter and jelly instead leaving the "Charcoal Cake" on the counter.

Tony stood there making sure the Peter didn't choke, that was not going to happen on his watch, when he smelt something like burning plastic. "JARVIS what is that smell?"

"That would be the smell of the diaper melting in the dryer sir," JARVIS responded calmly. Tony jumped and then made his way to the dryer pulling out the half-melted diaper.

"JARVIS, why didn't you tell me about this?" Tony asked the AI.

"You put me on mute sir," JARVIS replied calmly. Tony sighed and chucked the diaper before looking at the clock, time for Peter's second nap. Tony laid him down and got him to sleep deciding on finishing the list Steve had left for him.

Even though Tony could have hired a team of accountants to do it for them, Steve insisted on balancing their checkbooks and paying the bills. Tony spread everything out and was ready to start when he realized he had no idea what he was doing. He sighed and let his head hit the table with a thud. He was tired, extremely tired. He waited hoping that Steve would be home soon but didn't want to call. Soon Tony was asleep and Peter walked out but went back to his room to play seeing his father asleep.

It was getting dark when Steve finally came in the door. "Petey-bear!" Steve called tiredly. Peter ran up and hugged Steve's legs.

"Papa! I misseded you!" Peter was scooped up by Steve and he nuzzled his son.

"First off buddy it's 'I missed you' and second, I missed you two. Now where's Daddy?" Steve asked setting Peter down.

"He's sleeping on the table. Shh! He had a bad day Papa," Peter said tugging on Steve's pant leg. He brought Steve to where the great Tony Stark was sitting, drooling on the paperwork, asleep on their kitchen table. Steve smiled and the decided to wake Tony up.

"Hey buddy, why don't you go play until I get you some dinner, plus Daddy's grumpy when he first wakes up," Steve said poking his son on the nose. Peter giggled but nodded and ran off. Steve leaned over Tony and kissed a sensitive spot on his neck and then wrapped his arms around Tony's middle. "Hey there stranger," Steve whispered in Tony's ear and kissed the spot behind his ear.

"Mm, Steve is that you?" Tony asked groggily sitting up.

"Yep," Steve said letting Tony go and then giving him a kiss. "I'll make dinner if you can clean this up for me." Tony nodded and began gathering papers while Steve made lasagna. Peter came in and started running around 'helping' his dads. Steve smacked Peter's hand away from the sauce and told him to help Tony who was making garlic bread. Peter helped to butter it and then Tony sprinkled garlic on it and put it in the oven.

They sat down and Tony got up when the phone rang. "Hello?" He asked not recognizing the number.

"Tony? Is that you?" Pepper asked. "I need you back at work tomorrow, everything is practically falling apart without you."

"I thought I was too distracted with the baby?"

"I don't care if Peter is all you think about all day long, I need you to come back," Pepper pleaded. Tony sighed.

"I guess if I have to," Tony said glad he could go back to work. Pepper thanked him profusely and Tony hung up with a polite, "Goodnight Pepper, my diver is getting cold." With that he hung up and walked back to the table where Peter was trying to show Steve that he could stick a spoon to his nose and keep it there.

"Sorry Steve, that was Pepper." Tony sat and helped Steve dish out their dinner.

"What about?" Steve said cutting Peter's lasagna into bite size pieces. Peter hummed to himself as his parents talked.

"She wants me to come back to work tomorrow. She said that everything has fallen to ruin in my absence." Tony stabbed his food and then put some of it in his mouth chewing carefully as Steve thought.

"I wasn't having too much fun working with S.H.I.E.L.D and I missed Peter. I should stay home with him while you work," Steve said.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked. Steve nodded and then Tony smiled. After dinner they were watching TV, Peter having fallen asleep in between them. Steve looked over and smiled giving Tony's cheek a kiss.

"What was that for?" Tony asked looking at his husband.

"For taking care of our son for me, Mr. Mom," Steve said grinning. Tony stuck out his tongue and kissed Steve passionately. Peter made gagging noises and the two laughed at their son.